A World Without Google, Facebook or Crossdresser Heaven

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Comments: 3 Comments
Published on: January 17, 2012

Dear Readers of Crossdresser Heaven,

Many of you who visit Crossdresser Heaven today may notice something odd. Parts of the site appear blacked out, as if a malicious censor has wrested my freedom of speech from me and left me with nothing but the shallow unobjectionable message. I’ve done this to stand in solidarity with thousands of other websites across the Internet who are protesting the greatest threat to the Internet.

This threat comes in the form of two bills before the House and the Senate in the US Congress, called SOPA and PIPA. These bills would give anyone the power to shut down a website without due process or judicial review. If these were in effect ten years ago there would be no Google, no Facebook. There would be no YouTube and no Twitter.

Lovely ladies, if this bill was law there would be no Crossdresser Heaven. The many thousands of crossdressers and transgender women who have found encouragement and solace would be left alone and isolated. I urge you to stand up for the Internet and the freedom of speech it represents by calling your congressman and urging them not to support SOPA (in the House) or PIPA (in the Senate). Please share this with as many of your friends as you can.

You can learn more about these bills on this website or by watching the video below. Thank you for your time, and for helping to preserve not only this website, but the Internet for future generations.

Update: Google just released a site with more information about Internet censorship – this is a valuable resource for you.

Love and blessings,
Vanessa

PROTECT IP / SOPA Breaks The Internet from Fight for the Future on Vimeo.

Be True to Yourself in 2012

Categories: Crossdresser Support
Comments: 2 Comments
Published on: January 14, 2012

The new year has been underway for a few weeks, ushering out an old year with any regrets and sadness and welcoming a fresh opportunity at living. If you’re like most, your New Year’s resolutions are already becoming but a faded memory as the reality of the year ahead sets in. There’s deadlines at work, drama at home and a deep sense of unease that everything will be just the same this year as last year.

Truth in Crossdressing

Truth in Crossdressing

For those of you who crossdress the new year may be an even more tense time. Perhaps you’ve sworn off crossdressing, or at least promised to keep it to once a month. Perhaps you’ve finally committed to sharing your secret with a loved one, or taking an outing in public for the first time. All of these commitments to yourself can be an important part of your growth and discovery. Even if sacrifice and denial is in vain, the learning gained by the experience can prove priceless for future decisions.

My lovely readers, as you may know this last year has been full of new, terrifying and exciting experiences. I had facial feminization surgery and gender reassignment surgery, which have stretched my emotional and physical tolerances. While my spirit has been filled, for many months my energy has flagged and returned only to flag once more. All through this experience I’ve learnt many things, but one in particular I’d like to share with you:

Be True to Yourself

It’s easy to get caught up in what others want or expect. To set aside your own desires or even your integrity to please someone else. In the moment it may seem to bring peace, or to offer a short glimpse of happiness, but in the end it will erode your soul. I fought against becoming myself for many years. I was driven by fear, the expectations of society and the desire to make my now ex wife happy. Every day I sacrificed a piece of my soul just to keep the status quo. And every day the sacrificial demands go larger, and the status quo a grim shadow of it’s former self.

I’ve had some rough times emotionally, as many do recovering from surgery, but I have never for one second doubted that I did the right thing. It’s as if I had placed a desperate gamble and won back all of my soul I had so carelessly bartered away. I was true to myself, completely. Many didn’t like it. I lost a wife, lost some “friends” and gained myself. And new friends, and new opportunities.

This time of year is delicate – you’re just getting over regret at having slipped up on a resolution or two, but I implore you to make room for one more commitment this year. Be True to Yourself. Whatever that means for you. It’s okay to purge and sacrifice if that’s being true. It’s okay to go out in public, even make a fool of yourself, if that’s being true. It’s okay to step out on the ledge and share with someone else, if that’s being true.

I believe that very few of us have an opportunity to live an authentic life. Join me in 2012, and live your authentic life.

Namaste.


Photo courtesy of Alaskan Dude

 

Win a Free Pair of Breast Forms

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Comments: 3 Comments
Published on: November 9, 2011

Dear Readers,

I’ve partnered with the Breast Form Store to offer you a chance to win a free pair of Gold Seal Classic II Breast Forms just in time for the holiday season. Head over to Transgender Heaven for more details on the competition and how to enter.

While the breast forms are designed for transgender woman just starting on hormone replacement therapy, they’re also good for crossdressers who have a little extra (lucky you!) in their breast area. Since the breast forms feature a concave back they give you the cleavage you want while providing enough room to accommodate what God and hormones has blessed you with.

The competition closes soon – hurry over to and enter to win a free pair of breast forms.

What’s the Difference Between a Crossdresser and a Transsexual?

Categories: Am I Transsexual?
Comments: 2 Comments
Published on: October 23, 2011

It’s an old joke in the transgender community that goes like this:
Q: “What’s the difference between a crossdresser and a transsexual?”
A: “Two years”

This provides some humorous levity while astutely implying a truth about transsexuals – many of them started out as crossdressers. Unfortunately, while it makes for a fun observation it doesn’t really provide any useful insights for those who are struggling with their gender identity, or for others who hear that someone they love is a crossdresser.

It’s also easy to describe the difference between a crossdresser and a transsexual by sharing the definition of each word and describing transgender terminology.

It’s more difficult to help those struggling with their gender identity determine whether they are a crossdresser or transsexual, though I’ve made such an attempt a few times.

Five days ago I had sex reassignment surgery. As someone who once considered themselves a crossdresser, and now considers herself a transsexual woman without question of doubt I feel I’m in a position to provide some valuable insight for those struggling with a similar question. It goes without saying that each person is different, and this question is best explored together with a qualified therapist, after all you’ll make life altering decisions based on what you discover.

How Do I Know if I’m a Transsexual?

  • You consider yourself a woman: Crossdressers enjoy being woman for a time, but still consider themselves to be a man. Many are even happy being a man, and indulging their feminine persona a few times a week or month is all they need. Even if they fantasize about being transformed into a woman, crossdressers never seriously consider this to be a long term way of life.
    Transsexuals feel an intense cognitive dissonance between the genders of their mind and body. For me this manifested itself in a constant ‘mind static’ that pervaded every moment. I couldn’t enjoy the fullness of life because of a birth defect that placed me in the wrong body. For some it gets so serious that they seriously consider suicide as the only solution.
  • It’s about who you are, not the clothes: For many crossdressers the infatuation with the feminine revolves around their appearance. The clothes, the makeup, the impossibly high heels. Even for crossdressers who strive to blend in, it’s about being feminine. Being feminine feels good and exciting.
    For transsexuals the entire experience doesn’t revolve around the accessories of gender expression. Another common refrain is, “How do you tell the transsexuals at a transgender conference?”, “They’re the ones wearing jeans”. It’s about who you are, not who you appear to be.
  • You take the good with the bad: Transsexuals realize that there is no escaping being a woman. No time off for good behavior. We can’t decide to be a man for a certain circumstance just because it would be easier. While we may lament the discrimination we face as women it doesn’t factor in to whether we are a woman.
  • Womanhood is messy reality, not an idealized fantasy: If your sole experience of womanhood is as a fantasy, then you don’t have enough information to say that you’re a transsexual. Many crossdressers only experience what they consider the ‘highlights’ of womanhood (It’s another post as to why I don’t believe these are the actual highlights). Nights out feeling sensual, or safe gatherings dressed in their finest feminine attire. The truth is that womanhood isn’t quite as clean or elegant. Many transsexual woman experienced and embraced the messy reality of womanhood before transitioning. If you’re wondering, seek out every day experiences as a woman.
  • Embrace Who You Are

    Gender Identity isn’t a game that you win by being more feminine. The only way to win is to discover where you are on the spectrum, and accept yourself unconditionally. If you’re not a transsexual, that’s okay. If you are, that’s okay too.

    I’ve shared my thoughts on how to determine whether you’re a crossdresser or transsexual. What insights have I missed? If you’re a crossdresser and firm in that knowledge, how did you come to this realization?

Crossdressing Super Heroes

Comments: 1 Comment
Published on: October 13, 2011

Crossdresser Bat Girl CostumeTime has rolled by, and it’s now October. The international crossdressing holiday is almost upon us. The 31st draws closer, and crossdressers everywhere are planning their Halloween costumes, looking for a night of feminine revelry. This is the time to let your inner woman out, to enjoy the freedom that comes with femininity, and to let your spirits soar with abandon.

This year I’ve picked two costumes that would look fabulous on any crime fighting ladies. Blending the best of your masculine personality with the sexy womanly wiles of these super heroes.Wonder Woman Crossdresser Costume

The first costume lets your bad side peer through in the alluring bat girl. A dark and vinyl delight for all the ladies of the night. You can accessorize with various implements used to thwart evil, and looks great with bright red lips and a long wig.

The second femme fatal and woman of strength to consider for Halloween is virtuous and true. Adorned with her magical lasso of truth, Wonder Woman can charm the men with her smile and good girl sex appeal.

There’s just over two weeks left before Halloween – don’t let this holiday pass you by. Get your crossdressing Halloween costume today!


P.S. I’d love to know what you’re dressing up as this year, even if it’s not a super hero :) Reply in the comments or on Google Plus to share your special night.

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