Crossdresser Heaven

Fashion, makeup and body movement tips for crossdressers who want to look and feel more feminine

Archives: April 2008

Transgender – it's only weird the first few times

Tags: crossdressing acceptance, homophobia, transgender in society, transphobia

Published on: April 15, 2008

In our society we have a knee jerk reaction against anything that is different from the established norms. The first thought that crosses our mind is that we are “superior” and they are “different”, “wrong”, “unnatural”. It’s the five second journey from ‘what is that?’ to ‘eeewwww’ that happens because the unexpected is so different.

This article entitled ‘Transphobia runs deep‘ raises an interesting point – perhaps it is the mere unfamiliarity that is the stumbling block for people. Today you’d be hard pressed to find someone who doesn’t know what it means to be a homosexual. Homosexuality has taken the leap from ‘eeewwww’ to ‘I know what that is and my opinion is <insert opinion that has been thought about for more than five seconds>’. While people may strongly disagree with homosexuality for many reasons, they are not experiencing surprised disgust.

I don’t think we’ve reached this threshold yet with the transgendered. People still struggle with what it means to be transgendered, and some of the most common question asked of crossdressers is ‘Are you gay?’ But

Transphobia can be beaten

And it starts with familiarity. It starts with letting transgender become part of the societal psyche – with transgendered people being seen as people and not Jerry Springer freak shows. The wonderful thing about Thomas, the pregnant man is that he embeds the concept of transgender in our psyche. He may not be the “perfect representative for the transgender community”, but just by being open about who he is Thomas has done us a great service.

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Cross dressers – don't apologize for who you are

by Vanessa Law

Categories: Transgender News and Issues

Tags: crossdresser equality, crossdressing, transgender issues, Transgender Rights, transgender self acceptance

Comments: 4 Comments

Published on: April 13, 2008

“I can understand why they would think I’m a freak. After all, I look like a man in a dress.”
Does this sound familiar? Or perhaps you’ve said it to yourself in a different variation that involves condoning snide remarks, not letting you in to a bar or even calling the cops. After all, you’re a man in a dress and society has a right to be outraged, don’t they?

The answer is no. No human being should ever have to apologize for who they are. No one should be forced to hide the light of their soul to satisfy the norms of society.

Susan does a great job addressing what is essentially ‘blaming the victim’ in a podcast from two weeks ago. She argues strongly that in order to make any progress with civil rights for the transgendered we cannot continue to blame the victim – in this case the transgendered – for being who they are. It’s not acceptable to condone violence and hate because someone is different, any more than it is acceptable to rape a woman just because she is wearing a short skirt in a bad neighborhood.

Now, I’m not advocating that you throw caution to the wind, don your 5″ heels and strut self-righteously to the nearest tavern. You’re likely to leave with a bruised ego, or possibly worse. The object isn’t to try and make a fool of yourself. Next time you put in the effort to look like a natural woman, I am asking you to silence the voice inside your head that tells you ‘I deserve to be stared at’, ‘I deserve to be treated as a freak’.

What you deserve is to be treated with dignity and respect, just as you would treat anyone else – regardless of their race, religion, sexual preference or gender identity. You see, the first step to equality starts inside our own mind. Only once we believe we are worthy are we able to stand up sincerely to defend our worth.

Ladies, I would love to hear about your story of how you stood up for your self worth, even if it was just in your thoughts, refusing to let your identity be determined by someone else. Comment and let me know.

Hugs,
Vanessa

P.S.

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Why do men cross dress – A follow up

by Vanessa Law

Categories: Transgender Info

Tags: why crossdress, why do men crossdress, why does my husband crossdress, why transgender

Comments: 36 Comments

Published on: April 11, 2008

Two weeks ago I wrote an article entitled why do men cross dress? and I asked you to write and tell me – why do you cross dress?

Thank you to all who responded, both on my blog and to my question in other forums. The responses fell into a few different categories:

I cross dress because it feels natural, “right”. When I crossdress I’m less cranky and feel stress relief. I feel complete, liberated, content.
I cross dress because I enjoy wearing woman’s clothes, with no particular desire to look or present myself as a woman. It’s fun.
Woman’s clothes are more exciting, prettier, more colorful.
I cross dress because I enjoy feeling feminine – presenting myself as a woman, behaving like a woman.
When I cross dress it’s sexually exciting – I get a thrill out of wearing woman’s clothes
When I cross dress I’m sexually excited by what I look like wearing woman’s clothes
I dress because I feel I really am a woman inside, and I’m just dressing in the clothes appropriate to my gender.

In writing this post, I felt compelled to express how different we all are – we each cross dress for different reasons, enjoy different types of clothing, and have different ‘end goals’ in mind. Imagine my surprise at a recent comment on my last crossdressing how to post, which said something to the effect of ‘Not everyone who cross dresses wants to pass as a woman’ and ‘it’s too bad your outlook on cross dressing is so narrowly focused’. Yikes!

As my regular readers know, I try hard to avoid being narrowly focused on any particular denomination of cross dressing. I apologize to my dear reader A if I came across otherwise.

I wonder if there is more behind this though. I recently received an email from a transsexual who said that there are regular flame wars on a forum she frequents between transsexuals and cross dressers. Yikes! again! Has the transgendered community become so diverse that we spend more time focusing on our differences than our similarities? I hope not. It’s only together that we will be able to change the hearts and minds of the world. Only united that we will usher in an age of tolerance and acceptance.

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No More Transgender Discrimination

by Vanessa Law

Categories: Transgender News and Issues

Tags: crossdressing, transgender discrimination, transgender equality, transgender politics, transsexual

Comments: No Comments

Published on: April 9, 2008

At least in Detroit, which recently banned discrimination on the basis of gender identity. This comes a few months after Michigan banned discrimination against the transgendered for all state employees.

As I was reading this, I began thinking about a recent podcast of the Talking Tranny Show. In this podcast Susan discussed the best way to end discrimination of the transgendered. Whether it was by first advancing laws to end discrimination, or by winning the hearts and minds of people. In the end she concluded that, while both are important, winning the hearts and minds of people is more important and where we should focus our efforts first. She says the best way to do that is to come out, be yourself, and give people the opportunity to know a transgendered soul personally, rather than through the lens of Jerry Springer.

Detroit’s recent ban on discrimination against transgendered seems to echo another trend – the love for others starts at home. Locally.

I think it will be a long time before we see federal laws enacted to protect the transgender community. Yet in spite of that, there is growing momentum at the local and state level to provide protection for basic human rights – for all it’s citizens.

I live in hope that love for one another will win over fear and hate. That as we show ourselves for who we are – normal, hardworking, caring people – others will judge us by the content of our character, not the color of our lip gloss.

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Crossdressing Makeup Tips – The order to put on makeup for cross dressers

by Vanessa Law

Categories: Beauty and Makeup

Tags: crossdresser makeup, crossdresser makeup tips, crossdressing makeup, crossdressing tips, learn to apply makeup, makeup, makeup tips for crossdressers, order to put on makeup, transgender makeup application

Comments: 13 Comments

Published on: April 6, 2008

Crossdressers often struggle with putting on makeup – firstly finding out just what you should be using, and then the right way to put them all together to achieve the sexy, feminine look you’ve always wanted.

I have an order that I put on makeup, which I think makes it easiest to finish up looking gorgeous, and avoid wasting time redoing your makeup. In the interests of science I did some Internet research to find out how other girls apply their makeup.

To start off, one girl stressed that there is no right or wrong way to put on makeup – I wholeheartedly concur, we all have different habits we’ve developed. The below steps are a guideline to help you out, but please don’t change your makeup routine if it’s working well for you!

I generally make sure my face is clean, apply foundation and then work from top to bottom. I find this makes it less likely for me to put my arm in makeup I’ve just applied – it’s always fun to have your clothes dripping with makeup while your face looks like a mini tornado passed through.

Cross Dresser How To Apply Make Up

Step 1: Cleanse, tone and moisturize: Makeup works best on a clean face, so start with your normal cleansing routine to get ready to apply makeup.

Step 2: Set the foundation: Apply concealer under your eyes, and around your nose. Especially important for cross dressers is to apply beard cover over your neck area and face. Follow this up with a base or foundation that closely matches your skin tone. Cover with a light dusting of powder to hold in place. (more)

Step 3: Light up your eyes: Start with eye liner (for me this is the most difficult, so I’ll spend some time struggling on this before starting to put on any other makeup). Then clean up your eye brows, filling in any holes, and finall apply eye shadow and mascara.

Step 4: Let your cheeks bloom: Then a light dusting of blush, as I work my way down to the lips. If you overdo the blush (which I’ve been guilty of), go back and apply some powder to lighten it up.

Step 5: Create Gorgeous Lips: Now bring your lips to a gorgeous shimmer, and you’re almost done.

Step 6: Make sure you haven’t missed anything: Check all over to make sure you’re beautiful!