Archives: October 2008

Halloween Is A Busy Time For Crossdressing…

Comments: 4 Comments
Published on: October 30, 2008

Has it been more than a week already since my last post? Time really does fly when you’re having fun. With Halloween right around the corner I’ve been busy hunting for a suitable (and feminine) costume, attending Halloween parties and trying not to eat too much of the candy we’re going to be handing out tomorrow night…

My wife has been a fantastic help, and has diligently steered me away from costumes that would not be flattering for my figure – the sexy wench costume with barely a belt for covering, as one example. Do you have your crossdresser halloween costume yet? This is the one night a year when crossdressing is not only tolerated, but celebrated (in a drunk and rowdy way sometimes, but celebrated nonetheless). Don’t let this opportunity to be beautiful for all the world to see pass you by!

The other thing I’ve been working hard on is to improve the performance of Crossdresser Heaven. I don’t know about you, but I was getting a bit frustrated with how long it would take to load the website. After all, I want to spend my time learning how to crossdress and exploring the blessing of being transgendered – not waiting for the web page to load… Take a second to answer the poll below and let me know if I’ve done a good job, or still have a lot more work to go. You’ll be helping me to improve Crossdresser Heaven for everyone.

With the Halloween revelry almost behind us I’ll get back to the regularly scheduled posting. In fact I’ve been working on a few “most requested” articles, such as “How To Tell Your Wife You Crossdress”. Take a moment to subscribe so you won’t miss out.

Hugs and Blessings!
Vanessa

[poll id="5"]

The Keys To Crossdresser Success

Categories: Transgender Info
Comments: 6 Comments
Published on: October 21, 2008

One of the common misconception is that transvestism means your life is destined for a hard battle from one failure to the next. Dragging around your shame and guilt it seems as if crossdresser success and life success are mutually exclusive. Yet reality seems balanced on this question. While there may be many in the transgendered community who are struggling to come to terms with their transgendered nature and at the same time live a fruitful life, there are others who manage to do both.

What is crossdresser success?

I think the essence of success is being able to fully accept and live as who you are, while at the same time making a meaningful contribution to your family and society.

Recently on a forum that encourages crossdresser success, tekla made an insightful comment that with her permission I’ve shared:

I see all too often a linking between sex and the rest of the life deal. People can be successful, motivated, achieving people regardless of who they are attracted to. Nor, as a visit to the successful transitions website shows are there any lack of TS persons with PhD, or who are doctors, lawyers, professors and other accomplished careers.

I would speculate that the difference is not in who you are attracted to, or what your GID status is, but rather what you choose to do about it, how you work with it, incorporate it in your life or if you just sit somewhere and obsess about it.

I said somewhere else that most TS don’t need therapy, they need a life – and in the end, that’s all therapy will tell you to do, go out and be the person you think you are, the person that will make yourself (and maybe others) happy.

If you liked driving around to music, and I did, try riding a bike with some iTunes, or my favorite, a skiing soundtrack (Big band and rockabilly and bluegrass do very well) or just walk. You still don’t need a destination, I ride for miles and miles every day with no real point, just for the workout and to be out in the sun, and doing something. I take a camara, so I can take photos of some of the things I see.

I’ve always been ashamed of it like I am taking part in some demonic ritual.
Hopefully you will find a way around that shame, and it can become someother, better type of ritual, one of joy, acceptance, and exploration.

No matter what your looking for, I know that person, or persons are out there. Find out what kind of things such people might enjoy, and get involved in that, join a group or two, volunteer or something.

Well said tekla!


P.S. If you are struggling to find self-acceptance or the acceptance of others I highly recommend reading Helen Boyd’s book My Husband Betty.

What Is Your Crossdressing Personality?

Last night my wife and I were watching the episode of Boston Legal where Clarence – the otherwise shy unassuming lawyer who enjoys crossdressing in his spare time – enters a singing competition as his alter ego Clarice. We watched the dramatic transformation – his feminine persona shone radiantly with confidence when she set foot on stage. Singing, dancing and shaking her booty with freewheeling abandon. As if crossdressing psychology had dazzled her mind and switched her personality.

After the show my wife asked me a question which got me thinking about my crossdressing personality. Am I more confident and outgoing when dressed as Vanessa? Does my personality change in ways not easily explained by being more feminine?

What Is My Crossdressing Personality?

When I put on my makeup, heels and hose I become more feminine, more outgoing, more confident, more excitable, less contemplative, less uncertain and more open to being vulnerable. When I’m in male mode I’m constantly worried about what people will think of me. I try to be perfect, to not offend anyone, I shape who I am to fit into the person I believe others want me to be.  When the transvestite inside of me comes out I realize that I’ve probably already offended some people. I don’t mold myself to their expectations, but find myself free to be who I am inside.

It’s a strange balance. I find myself less interested in what others think about me and more interested in them. Even a light dusting of makeup and a feminine mindset will find me chatting with cashiers in the checkout line, willing to share a piece of my day and eager to hear a bit more about theirs.

In truth I like who I am when I’m crossdressed. I think that if there was socially acceptable cross dressing more people would feel comfortable expressing a different side of themselves. We may even find that crossdressing psychology is sometimes the best kind of psychology.

What Is Your Crossdressing Personality?

Does your experience mirror mine? Think about what it’s like when you’re the woman of your dreams. Who do you become when you’re dressed?

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P.S. When you’re crossdressed be fabulous on the inside and the outside! Learn the makeup secrets of the stars and look like a Hollywood goddess.

5 Tips For Making Womens Plus-Size Fashion Fashionable For Men

Approximately half of all American women are over a size 14, which is considered to be “plus-sized” by the fashion industry. This is good news for crossdressers as it means more stores catering to the larger woman. Personally I’ve flirted with size 14, but spend most of my days between size 16 and 18.

If you’re still trying to understand how woman’s sizes work, take a look at this cross dressing size chart a few months ago.

Crossdresser Clothing

Overweight women want to look as good, stylish, and put-together as their “regular”-sized counterparts. In the typical department store, the selection appears to be quite divergent. The misses department displays stylish, budget-friendly options. The plus-size, or women’s, section shows high-waisted pants, tunic-style shirts, and sack-like dresses. And transvestite fashion seems to be enamored with spike heels and mini-skirts.

What is a crossdressing man with fashion sense to do?

Janet Perry, a plus-size 50-something and author of Bargello Revisited, shares some tips for making plus-size fashion fashionable:

  1. Educate yourself: Pay attention to what’s fashionable in fashion magazines, on TV, and in everyday life. Doing this shows you what trends are in and what is (or should be) out. Eventually, you will be able to spot the trends and know what’s fresh without having to be told (via magazines or TV shows like What Not to Wear on TLC).
  2. Know your own body: What is your shape? Do you have an hourglass figure or a square? An inverted triangle or a pear? How do you find out? You could have a figure analysis by a fashion consultant or you can figure it out for yourself. Hold a yardstick against your shoulder and your hip. In looking in a mirror, does the yardstick angle in or out? Does it stay straight up and down? If it goes in, you’re the inverted triangle; out, the pear. Straight? Either a rectangle or an hourglass. How do you tell the difference on that just based on the yardstick? See if you can put any fingers between the yardstick and your waist without moving the yardstick. If you can get at least two fingers between there, you’re an hourglass. Look for clothes that flatter that shape instead of hiding it.
  3. Know your colors: Perry advocates, “Have your colors done and stick to them.” However, knowing if you look better in cool, warm, or neutral colors will work well enough. To discover that, you need a swatch of shiny silver fabric, shiny gold fabric, and a mirror. Hold each of them in turn up to your face, right under your chin. How do you look? If the silver makes you look washed out but the gold makes you look healthy, stick to warm colors. If it’s the other way around, use cool colors. Both? Technically, you’re neutral, but you can wear cool or warm colors within reason.
  4. Accessories and shoes don’t come in plus sizes,” Perry says. Wear classic clothes that fit well and look good on you and indulge in the trends through your shoes, purses, and other accessories. Our crossdressing fashion sense should kick in at this point, as we realize that closed shoes and lower heels are the way to go if we want to be more passable.
  5. Avoid things that signal you don’t care: Sweatpants never stay looking nice. T-shirt dresses with no shape, pants that are made to look like dresses, and dresses or skirts that are too long make you look frumpy and heavier. No plus-size woman wants, or needs, that. Perry also says, “Muumuus don’t even look good on thin, beautiful Hawaiian girls.”

It is possible to be fashionable on a budget. Some stores, such as Lane Bryant, Fashion Bug, Katherine’s, Avenue, and Cato Fashions, to name a few, offer selections that are fashionable for plus-size women at various budget-friendly prices. An outfit (three separates) for an awards banquet, for example, recently cost less than $60.00 at Cato Fashions.

If you’re still having trouble you’ll find crossdresser fashion advice and more in this guide. Be beautiful!

End Transgender Discrimination – Take This Transgender Survey

This is important enough that I’ll make do without literary decorations – Take this transgender survey [update, survey has now been taken down] to help end transgender discrimination before you continue reading.

….
Right, now you’re back from the transgender survey [update, survey has now been taken down] you took. You did take the survey, right?
….

When we are divided we are powerless. A lone transgendered voice is soon silenced, her bruised and beaten body left untended on the side of the road. For years we have experienced transgender discrimination – whether we are part time crossdressers or post-op transsexuals we have all felt the burden when our gender identity does not meet societies expectations.

This treatment is reserved for the lucky ones who are brave enough to live their life with freedom from their own judgement. Yet it is as we take the first steps to self acceptance that we collide with the intolerance and hate in society. For many of you the intolerance is not just a drunk heckling at the bar, it’s your employer firing you. It’s not just nasty comments from a teenager in the mall, it’s your landlord evicting you.

This is unacceptable in a free society.

And for some about to begin their journey of self discovery, the threat of being left desolate keeps you from finding who you really are. Your life is lead in a half-chorus. Singing stoically along, but never rising to the hallelujah’s. Clapping out of tune, and too ashamed to dance.

This is unacceptable in a free society.

There is a historic survey of the transgendered community, sponsored by NCTE and NGLTF. By understanding your experience they can work to end transgender discrimination. Please, if you have a few minutes take this survey and stand up for transgender rights [update, survey has now been taken down].

Should crossdressers care about transgender rights?

I recently wrote about crossdressing action that encourages crossdressers to stand strong with their transsexual and transgendered brothers and sisters. If you are a crossdresser who has never thought about transgendered rights please read this.You may not be willing to risk being outed, or have the financial means to support a transgender organization, but surely you can spare five minutes to make your voice heard online?

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