Archives: April 2009

Aysha’s Crossdressing Success Story: Practice and Passing in Vancouver

Crossdressing success stories are heartfelt stories of crossdressing triumph. I thank all the wonderful ladies who have shared their story with me so far. If you’re still waiting to submit your story – what are you waiting for?

Before you meet our next lucky lady I’d like to appeal for a different type of story. I’ve received a few emails from wives and girlfriends of crossdressers. Many are confused and scared. It can be quite a daunting thing to learn that your man is a crossdresser.

If you’re the lady in a crossdressers life and would like to share a success story from a different perspective please email me (vanessalaw@crossdresserheaven.com). I can’t tell you how much it would mean to all the woman who come here trying to understand their husband’s strange desires. If you’d like to remain anonymous or use a pseudonym that’s no problem. Thank you for helping to spread the hop.

Meet Aysha

My name is Aysha, and I am a 36 year old East Indian crossdresser living in Abbotsford, BC Canada.  I am 5’6″ tall, 135 lbs. with a “pretty boy” face (so I have been told) and a slim build.  [Ed: You’re one lucky girl hon!]

Aysha’s Crossdressing Success Story

I have been dressing up since I was 14 years old, and over the years, I have perfected my transformation- right down to waxing my entire body and laser hair removal for my face.  My wife is supportive, but does not know I still go out in public. Two years ago, she found my clothes and threw them out, saying that “I was a fag” etc etc..  I told her I only had a fetish, not a compulsion to dress- that is, until she found my collection again!  This time, I “disposed” my clothes, makeup and wig, right to a monthly storage place!

She actually bought me a few lacy bras and panties, with some makeup when I told her the truth about my obsession.  She enjoys seeing me dressed up in private, and we have had many fun times in the bedroom, to say the least!  Over the years, I have perfected my technique, from the makeup to the clothes to the pitch of my voice and my walk.. I feel confident when I am a girl and always “pass” with no problems, whether I am dressed up “all business”, jeans casual, sexy niteclub wear, or even a skimpy bikini!

I love shopping, and often go to the malls in Vancouver, sometimes alone, or other times with a TS girlfriend.  My favorite look is a pair of tight dress pants with heels, a sexy low-cut top with a blazer and silver jewelry, and my business tote, so it looks like I just got off from work!

My wig is just past my shoulders, with sideswept bangs.  I keep my makeup low key and classy- some mascara and shadow, eyeliner and lip gloss, with a hint of blush on my cheeks.  My best advice to new crossdressers is to invest in a top quality hairpiece and keep current of the latest clothing fashions- nothing will give you away faster than hair that looks like it came from a halloween sale and clothes your grandmother would wear!

Finally, when you dress to impress, be confident and maintain eye contact- if you act shy and nervous, you WILL be “clocked” every time!  I have had a number of fun and sexy adventures while being dressed and would enjoy sharing these stories with the other girls.  Some of my experiences are VERY explicit and may not be appropriate in a public blog.

If You Do This Your Crossdressing Life Will Be Better

Crossdresser hair removal There was a catchy song I used to listen to when I was younger. The lyrics were nothing to rave about, as over and over they proclaimed ‘If you buy this record your life will be better’. Yet the tune was hypnotic, and perhaps some subconscious part of me that longs for approval was convinced that my purchase had improved my life. Most advice is like that of the song. Tantalizing in it’s potential, yet somewhat lacking in the fulfillment of that potential.

Two weeks ago I wrote a post entitled ‘How To Look Like A Woman’, where I promised to share a secret that will magnify your femininity ten fold. The truth for many who crossdress is that it requires a lot of effort to cultivate our femininity. It takes work to choose appropriate clothes, move like a woman and wear makeup to accentuate our inner beauty.

Yet through all of this we’re struggling with stubble that shows up each morning when we wake up, and part way through the evening just as we’re trying to look our best. The secret to enhancing your femininity is permanent crossdresser hair removal.

Crossdresser Hair Removal

If you’ve ever tried to hide the stubborn remains of facial hair under a thick layer of makeup, then you know what I’m talking about. After shaving the same area three times your skin is left raw – if not bleeding – and there are still some hairs that remain. You’re forced to hide your true skin tone underneath concealer and then foundation, not a very natural look. Not at all suitable for day time, when most woman wear a light application of makeup.

We can all appreciate how difficult facial hair is to conceal, but it gets worse. Facial hair makes a proper skin care routine next to impossible. Most woman strive to tone, balance, moisturize and protect their skin. Yet the first thing men do every day is scrape a razor blade over it. How supple and healthy would you feel if you had to endure such trauma?

The daily infliction upon your face doesn’t stop with the skin shearing shave. Afterwards your pores and left open, and small cuts can invite bacteria to take root. Gradually your skin will become rougher.

But wait, it gets worse! Have you ever tried to tone and moisturize after shaving? It’s quite painful, actively discouraging a good skin care routine. I’m also not sure how good it is to pour lotions on your face after you’ve cut it to shreds. It would seem like topicals should remain topical.

Permanent or even semi-permanent hair removal allows your skin to generate a natural softness and makes it easier to maintain a healthy skin care routine. It has psychological benefits as well. A quick glance at your hairless and feminine face, even in guy mode, will let you feel the exhilaration of femininity.

Since you’re spending less time shaving each day you’ll have time to put a light dusting of makeup on before heading to work. Just a touch of foundation and some light blush and you can practice your makeup technique with noone being the wiser.

So What About That Crossdresser Hair Removal?

Last year I shared some different options for transgender hair removal. Hair removal can be expensive and painful, but in my opinion it’s more than worth it for the benefits you get. Not least of which is the ability to get hair removal done without anyone suspecting a thing. Well, apart from your esthetician.

I highly recommend a few treatments of laser hair removal, followed by electrolysis to clear up any stragglers. Having done this dual treatment myself I’ve a new level of respect for ladies who have removed all their facial hair through electrolysis. Electrolysis is painful, slow and effective. It’s also the only way to get rid of any white or gray hairs you may have. (Am I too young to admit to any gray hairs just yet?)

In contrast, laser hair removal is great at treating large areas (like the beard) quickly. It works best on a darker hair / fairer skin combination, and results are usually seen after the first treatment. Laser hair removal can be deceptive though, since some of the hair grows back a few months later. I’ve often felt the results were beyond expectations a week after treatment, but 3 months later a good third of the hairs have returned.

The Real Secret To Femininity

Thanks for sticking with me this far. I’ll end with another song I enjoyed from my youth by Baz Luhrmann – Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen). It still sends chills down my spine when I listen to it.

Amidst the great advice is another gem to enhance your femininity – Wear Sunscreen!

So you’re set. Hair removal. A good skin care routine. And Sunscreen.

Be beautiful my girlfriend!


For more great tips on achieving a perfect feminine appearance I recommend the ultimate crossdressing guide and the flat2fem transgender breast enlargement program.

Vicki’s Inspirations for Crossdressing Christians: In The Beginning

[Ed: They say a fine wine gets better with age, and I think that is true of this week’s Inspiration. This week’s Inspiration from Vicki was pre-empted by the lovely Christian messages for Palm and Easter Sunday, and then for another week by my crossdressing busy-ness. So without further ado, I present this week’s Inspiration for Crossdressing Christians. Take it away Vicki!]

“In the beginning God created.” From the first words of the Bible, we find the essence of accepting ourselves as cross-dressers, or gay persons, or two sexed persons, or just plain heterosexual persons with insecurities and doubts of their own. What does that mean, one may ask. Doesn’t it say later that a man should not dress as a woman, or that men’s lying with men is an abomination, or don’t work on the Sabbath, etc. Yes the Bible does say that, it in fact says many things that may often contradict other things in the Bible. Let’s worry about that later and quite honestly let’s just say this, and I believe that it is just this simple, In Christ, those concerns and restrictions are laid bare to make every human being take note and examine themselves, and then whisked away as one would a layer of dust on a coffee table on cleaning day.

What we as human beings need to do is look at the statement that God created, and realize, that He created everything and everybody. And in Light of Christ’s sacrifice we need to get back to that essential point and stop worrying about the rest of the laws and restrictions and look at those from the sense of the cultural implications and limited knowledge of the men of the day, and in light of the totality of the Biblical record, not cherry picked passages that support our own narrow sense of what it is that God intends.

In this first meditation my goal is to lay out three basic ideas that are presented to us in the Bible record. The caution here is to understand both for myself as author of these thoughts and you as readers and digesters, that oversimplification can be a dangerous path, but my hope is that in oversimplifying here, I can demonstrate the true nature of proper Scriptural reading, study, and meditation, and in that find hope and promise for the cross dresser, the Transgendered person, and others who feel condemned by preachers and teachers today, who use the Bible to advance an agenda that is not of God’s devising or desire. Simply put, it is time for God’s people, and God’s creation to take back for them God’s fulfilled promise to us all.

Today then, I will focus on God’s creative power, the concept of sin, and Christ, and to do it in less than 1500 words. Good Luck. But to involve any of these without the other is, at ones’ own peril, to live outside of God’s plan and contrary to God’s will. Again the caution is to not oversimplify and in coming weeks and months as the Spirit moves, we will possibly explore these and other concepts in more depth, but one must begin somewhere and for now this is it.

God’s Good Creation

In the beginning God created and God saw this was good. I think that this alone offers hope to anyone who lives perhaps on the edges or outside of the societal norm. As we will see later in the life of Christ and in the way He engaged the outsider, there is further validation, but for now, it is enough to begin with the idea that we were created by God. Each and every one of us, and that God has an interest in who we are, but more than that, He has purpose for the very things about us that make us unique and yes even different. If we can come to an understanding that God made us with a desire to dress differently, (hard to imagine a God interested in the fashion norms of any day and age), but that our very essence drives some of us to see ourselves as more than a male or a female.

It is hard to get away from that other creation image of Eve being made from the rib of Adam. What else could cross-dressing be then, but an attempt to recover a vital part of ourselves? Now taken literally this is a non scientific take on the evolution of the species, but there is nevertheless a nod to the idea that man and woman spring from the same source and how hard can it be to go to the next step and assume that the natural state of things is to be cognizant of this dual nature and embrace it, rather than suppress it at our own risk and perhaps contrary to the will of God.

But ultimately whether one takes the Genesis story literally or as an allegory to explain the unexplainable, we can all agree that God’s hand is at work in creation and that nothing He makes is bad. God saw that it was good. But our sinful nature can take what is good and make it bad, or contrary to God’s good purpose. We do this by our sins and by sins of others.

All Sin and Fall Short

The second piece of this large puzzle is that of sin and sin came into the world very early on. We read the story of sin and quite appropriately equate sin with temptation. In other words sin is seen by us as giving in to an impulse to do something that is outside of what is acceptable in God’s eyes. Yet what we have already seen is that what God has created is good, all of what God has created is good. So how could living in tune with the way God created us be sinful?

Read the words, and see what is happening here. (Insert Genesis 3) The serpent tempts Eve with one thing and one thing only, that to eat of the fruit of the tree is to become like God, and to know good and evil. There is so much that can be taken from that one passage alone, for now we’ll settle on this view; that original sin is at core, the desire to not only be like God, but to be God.

That is not what happens of course, the consequence is that we are stripped naked and like God we see ourselves for who we are. There may be a part of us that is not so pretty and that cause us consternation. But it is better for us if we decide not to see our own nakedness, it is better if one is worse than I am. If I point out the problem with that person, perhaps God will not see my sin.

It happens immediately, Adam blames Eve, who it must be pointed out by Adam was given to him by God. See which way the finger is pointing? And Eve is quick to blame the serpent, or the appealing nature of the tree that bears the fruit. It was the serpent’s fault, or the beauty of the tree, but it wasn’t me. And God you made those things so it must be your fault.

God did make all those things and He said to us, all of Eden is yours if you can resist the temptation to be me. Even today, it is not hard to find those who point fingers at others, at those even whom God made, so that the finger pointer will not suffer the consequences of their own sinful nature. While today we are less hesitant to blame God unless it is to invoke His wrath as the cause for trouble in the world. In a backhanded way, it is God who sent Aid’s to punish sinful gay men. Or so the moral minority would have us believe.

Even worse, we claim to know what God wants based on some outdated and very suspect words in the Bible, cherry picked out of the whole to point fingers away from us. We’ll use anything in God’s creation to place the blame or the gaze elsewhere.

God Restores the Good

God has seen all of this. After the fall in Eden, He gave His people some time to try and figure this out. He helped set up rules made by men to restore order to His world. But after all of that, after the wanderings, the homecoming, the victories of Israel’s armies and then bitter defeat, after kings both wise and foolish, it remained that man alone would not be able to do this. God, who loves His creation so completely and desires nothing more than that we love ourselves as much as He does took the ultimate step to reconcile His creation to Himself.

For God so loved the world, that He gave his beloved son Jesus Christ, so that whoever believed in Him would not perish but have eternal life. God acted to save us from ourselves. Still some cannot give up the desire to be God and judge for God what is right and what is wrong. I find it amazing on some Sunday mornings, when absent from my own church I, out of morbid curiosity tune in to one of the televangelists only to find them reading some passage from the Old Testament, read with the intent to condemn and not to save. The lesson always is, turn from the sin I’m telling you about here and then you will be pure in God’s eyes; again, this is something you must do before God will let you in.

Jesus, when He is mentioned is usually portrayed as some distant figure sitting on His throne in heaven, tallying up with the television crew, who has sent in their latest love gift to build a satellite dish somewhere in the world and proclaiming them now fit to rise to heaven on the last day; and who doesn’t. Or even worse as a person sitting on His throne disengaged from His creation, content to listen to praise songs and forgetful of His own command to love and feed His sheep.

But this is not God and this is not Christ. If you read Scripture with the intent to read it for the entire message it is hard to just simplify things. But it is that simple. Jesus lived and died to save us all from the desire to be God. His teachings are simple as well, love God, with everything that is in your being, and love your neighbor as yourself. As yourself. It begins with loving God; He is your creator and he asks nothing more of us than we do that, that we put Him first in our lives. But reverse the passage that follows for just a minute. Start with loving yourself, for loving your neighbor should proceed from that naturally if we do love God and ourselves.

God doesn’t want us to feel apart from Him. It is not His intent that who we are and who we were made to be should be a thing that separates us from God. If anything it should make us love Him more for creating something so unique, wonderful, and different. Turn the finger inward, but not in blame, but to find that which God has made. Love yourself, you are a unique creation of His and you have an important part to play in the rest of His Creation.

Lord God, You have made me and all that I am. Thank you for letting me see the beauty that is my whole and for not letting others decide for me how I should be. Because of your gifts to me, the way I am and the sacrifice of your son, I give myself back to you so that what you have made me for can be started and seen to its end. I know that I am a sinful creature as well, but that you have chosen to set that aside forever, again so that I may joyfully do that which you made me for. Allow my life to be a light to others. As in the words from my baptism: “Let your light so shine before others, that they see your good works and glorify the Father who is in Heaven” Most importantly God, let others who come to these meditations find firstly Your unconditional love, that they see their themselves as uniquely created by You, and that they accept without reservation or doubt, your love for them. In Jesus Name

Amen

Oh! Life Happens While You’re Not Crossdressing

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Published on: April 24, 2009

You know how sometimes a week goes by without you even realizing it? And then somehow that week turns into two, and … well… you get the picture. Before you know it there’s dust everywhere and little green things growing all over the place. Ahh, moss – the beloved Seattle flower. But I digress.

It has been a sparse few weeks for Crossdresser Heaven. Mostly because yours truly has been busy with work, life and refinancing her mortgage. I swear there must be a hundred different forms they want you to fill out. It’s almost as if they expect to be paid back someday. Those banks, such good sports :)

Vicki prepared a wonderful article for Sunday which I didn’t post – sorry Vicki! Fingers crossed I’ll get to it this Sunday. Vicki has some previous articles for the Crossdressing Christian you can peruse. I’ve also got quite a backlog of email, and sometimes have difficulty reply to all of you. I deeply appreciate the comments, feedback and questions I get through email. If I’m not able to get back to you personally I will to incorporate my thoughts on the topic in a future article.

I guess all that goes to show that life happens while we’re not crossdressing. It may not always be as flamboyant and sensuous, but not every guy can be a girl all the time (or keep up with her website about being a girl).

See you more frequently next week. Love to you all!
Vanessa

Miriam's Crossdressing Success Story: It Started With a Halloween Party

Today we’re blessed to share a crossdresser success story from Miriam, who looks back on many years of crossdressing to share two experiences that started it all for her. She’s a wonderful writer and I was touched by how her story combines trepidation and excitement with the loving support of a good friend.

If you’d like to share, please submit your crossdressing success story and I’ll post it on Crossdresser Heaven in a few weeks.

Meet Miriam

My story is not unlike others. I started very young and have been a crossdresser for over 45 years. I am happy to say that in all this past time, I have always enjoyed my femme side.

Miriam’s Crossdressing Success Story

My first real time experience came at age 14. Sandra Dee was the girl of everyone’s dreams, blond, blue eyed, young and sexy. I had fooled around with wearing high heels and such for a few years, basically what most kids do as they discover their desires. My neighbor and I got together for a Halloween party, she was 16 and very sweet and supportive, it was she who actually bought me my first pair of heels.

We decided that I would go to the party as Sandra Dee, great poodle skirt, pink angora sweater, brown stiletto heels. I was blessed with very smooth femme features, baby face as they say, no sign of a beard until I was in my 20′s. I was a girl size 8, shoe size girls 8 and a 32 c size chest.

She did my makeup in light tones, red lipstick, gold drop earrings. I wore beige panties and a beige bra with padding, neutral toned stockings with a garter belt and had my nails done in red even though they were short. She did my hair up in a French knot, my hair was naturally long, Beatles era. We went to the party as cousins and not one person was able to tell I wasn’t a girl. It was a breath taking moment. Every chance I had to dress up I did, mostly with her clothes until I decided that it was time to buy my own.

On my 16th birthday I bit the bullet and went shopping. I went to a local dress shop to buy my first outfit. I was sweating all over, but I decided I had to do it. A young sales girl came over to help me and asked was I looking for a gift for my sister, I said no. I said it was for me. She looked at me and said you look like a size 8 or so and I said an 8 and that was that, I had broken the ice. I bought a beautiful blue outfit and one in red too. They had a great shoe department  and I bought 3 pair of heels. I tried them all on with the dresses to see how they looked and I was very pleased, so was the sales girl. The rest is history as they say. I have been buying women’s outfits since and will continue being my femme self hopefully for a long time to come.

Not every experience is always good, I was lucky. I decided I was not going to hide who I was, maybe that’s what made the difference. Self confidence that’s what will make it happen

Miriam


Would you like to live a crossdressing success story of your own? Lean how to crossdress and pass as a woman.

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