Archives: May 2009

Serena’s Crossdressing Success Story – Exploring Crossdressing In Drab

Crossdressing success stories are a look into the tribulations and elations shared by crossdressers who struggle with their dual identity. If you would like to share a story of a small joy you experienced while crossdressing, I encourage you to submit your own crossdressing success story.

If you are the wife or girlfriend of a crossdresser, your story of acceptance will be a comfort to many. Please share, you can do so anonymously if you’d like.

Our next lady has a story that shares a winding road through to self acceptance, and will be a comfort if you feel that you’re lost on your journey that has no destination.

Meet Serena

My name is Serena, and I’m a 37 year old, tall (6’4) crossdresser from Tucson. Like many of you, I began dressing when I was about 11 or 12, wearing my mom’s pantyhose.

Serena’s Crossdressing Success Story

Since then, I took every opportunity to wear lingerie and hosiery, often sneaking into the drawers of various friends, family and girlfriends, and eventually buying them myself. It has always been very private. Several years ago, I decided to dress much more seriously. For the first time, I shaved my whole body, bought a wig, make-up, breast forms, etc. I shopped for clothing at crossdresser friendly thrift stores, and bought lingerie, hosiery, and shoes until my tranny heart was content. After about eight months, I stopped dressing out of concern that all of this was somehow impeding my ability to find a mate, get married, have a family, etc. Talk about a dilemma.

As invigorating as my exploration of Serena was, I have not attempted anything like it since (of course, I do still love to paint my toe nails and wear stockings – who doesn’t?). Not being blessed with the most feminine physical features (except for my nice long legs and butt – yes, I am vain), I decided that I would leave dressing to the girls who did it best. Instead, I chose to explore my attraction to transgendered women. At the time, this seemed like the perfect way to balance exploration of my gender identity/sexuality with my long term goal of settling down with a genetic woman. No longer would I have to worry about meeting the girl of my dreams and missing a golden opportunity because she might soon discover that I was smooth all over and my love patch was shaped like a heart! Talk about difficult to explain.

Unfortunately, this decision also entailed me purging all the wonderful clothes, shoes, lingerie, make-up, wigs, hosiery, etc. that I had accumulated up to that point. On the bright side, my time as Serena forced me to finally acknowledge and accept that I am a crossdresser, and not feel one ounce of shame for it.

After the purge, I had a couple of short relationships with girls that I met at a bar in Phoenix called Cruisin 7th. As foreign as that bar was to me at first, I definitely belonged there. On a Saturday night, one would see all manner of girls: full-time transsexual girls and part-time crossdressers, young and middle-aged, petite and full-sized, white and Hispanic, and the retinue of “heterosexual” admirers. While I am attracted to all transgendered girls, it was the full-time transsexual girls that seemed to be the most interested in me.

After about a year, I came to believe that my foray into the transsexual dating scene was as much a distraction from my goal of a long-term committed relationship with a woman as crossdressing. Looking back, I’m not sure that my decision to stop dressing was a particularly honest or realistic one. If I had kept dressing, it’s likely that I still would have ended up at Cruisin 7th…except I probably would have been wearing a little black dress and pumps. As fun as that sounds to me now, I can live with my choice to go there in drab… and leave with a girl in a little black dress and pumps! During that time I met some very sweet, cool, smart, fun people. My only regret is that I wasn’t able to meet and spend time with more part-time crossdressers.

After moving to Tucson a couple of years ago, I met a wonderful woman who I absolutely love and adore. One of the best things about my girlfriend is that she is fully supportive of both my crossdressing and my bi-sexuality. Not only that, she finds crossdressing to be very sexy, and has even encouraged me to start dressing again! Sharing this part of me with my girlfriend has brought us a lot closer and improved our intimacy. Although I haven’t started dressing again yet, it is very liberating to have shared this aspect of me with someone I love.

Xoxo
Serena

What About Us? The Forgotten Transgendered

Recently I received an email from a reader that gave me pause. It brought into stark contrast the duality of the transgender blessing and the transgender curse. I haven’t heard back from her giving me permission to share, so I won’t post her verbatim words.

But I think her story is one that many can identify with. Living in a small town with precious little transgender support, without the financial means to change her life. Wondering whether death is the only release from the torment of trapping the woman inside for so many years.

Before I comment, I want to say thank you. Thank you for reaching out. Thank you for opening the dialog about a topic that is so important to many in the transgender community. Sometimes the transgender hardship is easy to forget for those of us in our 20s and 30s who live in a large west coast city. We’ve all felt the shame and confusion of being transgendered. Yet we may take for granted the plethora of transgender related resources at our fingertips, and our growing acceptance in society.

It can be even harder when you see other’s who fully express their inner selves while being unable to express yours. Whether it’s the town you live in, your financial means or social situation that prevents you from becoming who you are. Sometimes it may appear that death is the only way out. I can say with firm resolve that suicide is never the answer. You may feel trapped, you may feel that noone cares – but there is always a way out. Please seek help from a doctor if you’re contemplating suicide.

Hon, my heart breaks for you, for the situation you’re in. You have my empathy. Yet I guess there is still a male part in me dying to offer some suggestions and advice. I share it humbly, not knowing the full details of your situation, and not having lived a life as long or full as yours.

First, I encourage you to focus on what you can do. There may be no help where you live, but perhaps you can meet up for an evening with some girls from a nearby city, or attend a transgender event. You may not be able to present as a woman full time, but perhaps you can wear subtle makeup in guy mode, or woman’s jeans. You may not be able to become a woman, but perhaps you can work on improving your posture, movement and voice to better convey femininity.

Second, find a reason to hope, something to look forward to. Often the mountain before us looks insurmountable, yet each step along the path is well within our capabilities. The first step may be talking with other transgendered girls on the Internet for encouragement and support.

And finally, I believe that being transgendered is just one aspect of a person’s life. It has proved to be a crucial aspect of who I am, but it is not my sole endeavor. I have a career, hobbies, friends, family and God. While I would love to weave a transgender thread through all of these, I derive pleasure and satisfaction from each area of my life whether or not I engage in it as a woman.

My dear, I pray God’s richest blessings on you. That in your time of trial He will see you through, and what the world has meant for harm, may He turn to glorious good.

Crossdresser Heaven + Twitter = Real Time Tranny Updates

Comments: 1 Comment
Published on: May 17, 2009

After spending an afternoon wrestling with Twitter and WordPress I’m happy to share a new feature of Crossdresser Heaven. You can see live updates from my Twitter feed – they’re shown on the right under the section titled ‘What Am I Doing?’ We’re now in real time!

I’ve found that Twitter can be quite addictive – who knew that 140 word updates could prove so interesting. If you’d like to follow me on Twitter please go to http://twitter.com/vanessalaw , or just stop by Crossdresser Heaven.

From time to time I’ll share interesting articles on my twitter feed, and since I’ve also figured out how to get my iPhone to talk to Twitter I’ll share my thoughts anytime I’m bored as well. They say that boredom can lead to inspiration, though I’m not quite so confident in my creative abilities to claim Shakespeare can be recreated in 140 characters.

I’ve also got a new article on the way for Tuesday morning especially for those who feel like members of the forgotten transgender community.

Hugs,
Vanessa

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