Archives: August 2009

The Thin Pink Line

Comments: 15 Comments
Published on: August 27, 2009

You may have heard the news a few weeks ago that the first openly transgender mayor, Stu Rasmussen had a complaint filed against him (his chosen pronoun) for inappropriate attire.

I won’t repeat the whole story, the Statesmen Journal, and Feministing (with a counter point) do a good job describing it all. The short, short version is that Stu attended a youth event in high heels, a very short skirt and a revealing halter top. The director of the youth event filed a formal complaint about Stu’s outfit with the city council president. News ensues.

Oregon’s Transgender Mayor

I’ve been stewing on this (pardon the pun), for a while now, quite unsure how to comment on this. On one hand Stu has tremendous courage running for public office as a transgender person. His self expression doesn’t fit within the ‘norms’ of the transgender community. He has breast implants, presents as a woman, and chooses to be referred to as “he”. More genderqueer, and less “crossdresser” or “transsexual”. I’m tremendously proud of the self assurance he has shown to overcome not just the biases of society, but even the labels the transgender community tends to use.

There is not doubt that certain news organizations will jump on any opportunity to reinforce biases. It’s not fair, but it’s the world we live in. Stu showed a lack of judgment when he wore a skimpy outfit to a youth event. Worse, his lack of judgment reflects poorly on all those in the transgender community.

Do We Thwart Self Expression?

Yet for all I’ve said about, it’s a thin line that divides “self expression” from “responsibility to a group”. Society tells us we cannot wear dresses and makeup. Are we just as wrong to deny Stu his right to self expression? Perhaps in fighting so hard for our rights we treat the rights of other’s as expendable.

Tell me what you think. Where is the balance between self expression and group responsibility. Was Stu wrong to wear that outfit? Or are we wrong to get down on our first transgender mayor for his choice of clothes?

Got Gravatar?

Comments: 7 Comments
Published on: August 26, 2009

I LOVE reading and replying to comments you leave on Crossdresser Heaven. Your participation through comments makes it a joy for me to keep writing and maintaining Crossdresser Heaven. Thank you!

So you may be asking yourself: ‘what could be better than participating in a discussion about crossdressing among friends?’. How about being able to see the person you’re talking to?

A few days ago I enabled ‘Gravatar’ support on Crossdresser Heaven. It’s essentially an avatar picture that can be used across many sites on the Internet, including WordPress.com. If you browse through the comments sections on some posts you’ll see some ladies already have gravatars, like Petra and Jessica.

If you want to share you feminine image with others while you participate in intellectually stimulating discussions about crossdressing you need to do 4 things:

1. Go to http://en.gravatar.com/ and click ‘Get your Gravatar today’. Enter your email address when prompted
2. Watch for an email in your inbox from Gravatar. Click on the confirmation link.
3. Upload a photo
4. Use the same email address when commenting on Crossdresser Heaven

Now we can all see how fabulous you look!

Go on, give it a try. It takes just five minutes, and if you’re shy you don’t have to use a picture that reveals your identity.

I hope to see you soon!
Vanessa

Why do we ask them to leave?

Comments: 16 Comments
Published on: August 24, 2009

Dear reader, every Monday for the last few weeks I’ve been sharing a valuable crossdressing resource with you. After browsing through a few suggestions I’ve received so far, and links from some of my favorite web sites I felt I needed to say something..

Are We So Ashamed Of Crossdressing?

Stop being ashamed of crossdressing! Really, are we so ashamed of crossdressing that we ask people to leave our website? Every other website I browse to has a large warning, a caution against material that discusses ‘transgender issues, or ‘issues of a mature nature’.

Once you actually enter the website, many of these website are not run by pariah’s. Rather, they’re supportive, funny, enlightening, helpful and caring. They shine a balanced and sensitive light on transgender issues.

I fully understand and would encourage warnings for sexually explicit materials, even if they’re just the written word. But why oh why do we put warning’s on our websites?

Are we afraid that reasonable discussion of taboo subjects would corrupt the character of society? Or is it more personal? Perhaps we’re still ashamed of crossdressing, and want to warn others before they can encounter our true selves.

We need to be the first to take a step into the light. Be proud of who we are, secure in the knowledge that we’re not perverts or deviants. We may be different, but our differences should not shame us. We’re a thread in the tapestry of humanity. As important and beautiful as the other threads, all woven together on this planet we call earth.

 


P.S. We’ll pick up where we left off next week. Please share your favorite transgender or crossdressing website with me by emailing vanessalaw@crossdresserheaven.com – include a brief description of why you like the website. In the meantime, why not join a local crossdresser support group in your area.

I Know How To Be Brought Low

“I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:12-13

In the e-mail devotion I received today on this passage, the writer spoke of how summer had sped by, and the many projects she had planned were coming to naught. Boy could I relate. But she points us to remember that if we need to turn to God when the distractions get in the way of our everyday course of life, and even more so when the distractions crop up in our Christian walk. She points us to the cause of the distraction when she writes, “It seems there are many obstacles standing between us and a stronger faith. Satan has many tools to tear us from a closer walk with God.” I tend not to think too much about Satan being behind some of the little things that seem to get in the way on an almost daily basis, take this column for instance. But perhaps I need to.

We in the CD community should be constantly aware of Satan though. After all, we are constantly reminded, either to our face if we choose to live openly, or by the messages sent by society at large. Our urge to dress is nothing more than a temptation put before us by Satan as a part of his devious plan to keep God away from us, and us from God. It should be also noted this is also what our brothers and sisters in the Gay and Lesbian communities hear. It is what women and blacks heard in the past, it is what lepers and tax collectors heard in Jesus’ day. You are not one of us, you are not one of the Chosen, and God wants nothing to do with you because you are unclean, foreign, sub human. The truly sad part of this is most of us at some point in our lives have opted to believe that the “chosen” are correct in deciding who is fit for the kingdom and who is not.

One very common response is to hide that part of ourselves from others. We separate the gender ambiguous part of ourselves from church and ultimately God. The other common response is to reject a God who would deem us as unacceptable and to walk away from relationship with Him on any level. In either case, Satan has won. In the former sense it is certainly subtle, but by withholding part of ourselves, perhaps even convincing ourselves that we are hiding it from God, we prevent allowing that full relationship that God desires to have with us from coming to fruition. We never allow for the idea that perhaps it is the very gift that we hide is the gift God intends us to use the most. Where God is rejected outright, the party in hell begins, and while we may not even realize that is what has happened, Satan doesn’t care. One more soul prevented from realizing the relationship that God wants for all His creation, but that Satan was too jealous to share.

We tend always to think of distractions that loom up directly in our view, the roadblocks to our best laid plans. And we can usually strategize a mechanism for coping with the obvious. But it is the subtle distractions that tear us down; fear, self hatred, lack of confidence or lack of faith. It is an unwillingness to accept ourselves as a special creation of the Most High God. It happens to those outside our special little community, I suspect even amongst the “chosen” at times. The answer to this little, subtle distractions that Satan throws in our path, I think lie in the last verse of this passage from Philippians. “I can do all things through Him that strengthens me.” We must put our trust in a Loving, accepting, welcoming, and non-judgmental Christ, God Manifest. Then the distractions in the way of our relationship with God will melt away in the face of our strongest advocate to Him. Jesus Christ.

I pray that each of us, all God’s Children, no matter where we are on the journey, remember that when a distraction comes up, anything that will prevent us from experiencing a fuller and richer relationship with God, we look to our side, to see who walks with us. We give thanks to you God for the sacrifice in love poured out for us by your Son Jesus Christ.


Vanessa here – thanks Vicki for you inspiration, and thank you to all the ladies who submitted a local transgender support group. The list of transgender support groups contains more than 100 local groups from ten countries! If you don’t see your group, or your favorite group there, please submit it!

Where Do You Go For Crossdressing Support?

Categories: Crossdresser Support
Comments: 3 Comments
Published on: August 18, 2009

Crossdressing Support Groups- It's about time  I was going to title this post ‘It’s about time’. Back in March (March for crying out loud!)  I asked ‘Where do I find Crossdressing Support’, and encouraged you to share your recommendations for real life crossdressing support groups in your area. My goal was to build a list of resources that crossdressers and the transgendered across the US and the world could use to find local support groups. Thank you to all who replied!

I’m finally ready to unveil the first draft of the list of crossdressing support groups. As I learn about new groups I’ll update the list. Before I share the list with you, please take a moment to tell me about a crossdressing support groups in your area. You will bless those who are searching for an encouraging friend.

A Crossdressing Support Group In Your Area

Here is the list of Crossdressing Support Groups. It will be regularly updated as I receive submissions. Please check back often if you don’t see a group in your area.

May you find peace, love and know the joy of accepting who you are.
Vanessa

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