Crossdresser Heaven

Fashion, makeup and body movement tips for crossdressers who want to look and feel more feminine

Archives: August 2010

2 Crossdressing Mistakes We All Make

by Vanessa Law

Categories: Crossdresser How To

Tags: crossdressing mistakes

Comments: 5 Comments

Published on: August 28, 2010

Two Crossdressing Mistakes We All Make

I gazed around the room. Every lady was well put together – to an individual her outfit was coordinated and appropriate to her build. Her makeup was subtly and carefully applied. Her hair styled with the love of a salon owner. These ladies had clearly learned how to crossdress, they had avoided the most common crossdressing mistakes and then some.

Yet as I looked at many of these lovely ladies I couldn’t help thinking “man in a dress”. That thought stunned me – these women could all be role models in the crossdressing community. They had cultivated their appearance and would be the envy of any just beginning their crossdressing journey. It also made me pensive – if that thought so quickly entered my mind, and I admired their appearance so, surely I’ll be read even more quickly? In fact, what hope is there for any of us to pass as a woman?

After mulling it over for a few days I finally figured it out – these ladies made 2 crossdressing mistakes. Mistakes we all make.

Crossdressing Deportment School?

Men are relaxed to the extreme. When they sit they spread out, taking as much space as they need to fully relax every body part. When they walk they take up space, and they slouch. Their shoulders stoop over as if finally bending to years carrying the heavy load of masculinity. Woman don’t slouch – woman sit and stand up straight. Watch woman next time you’re out shopping, and compare their posture with the men you see. If you can catch a multi-gendered checkout line the difference will be immediately obvious.

Now “stand up straight” might bring to mind a relative you know who is in the military. There’s nothing feminine about standing to attention as if preparing to salute the president. To get a more feminine posture you need to think “in and up”. Roll your shoulders back and gently drop them. Pull your elbows in and lift your torso up as if you’re a puppet on a string, with the string coming through the crown of your head. Lean slightly forward and then soften your posture. To make good posture a part of your daily routine I highly recommend taking up yoga – many of the poses will help undo years of bad habits that gives us all the inevitable slumping forward.

The first mistake these lovely ladies made was to slouch.

Life’s Not That Bad, Is It?

It was clear all the ladies were deep in concentration – learning the latest tips on how to present in a more feminine manner. Their brows were furrowed, their lips pressed together in a contemplative frown, and their face pulled down as if they were wrestling with the information presented. It was also clear that this look was working against their desires to pass as a woman. For most men their face “at rest” is in a slight frown, yet most woman have a more radiant, open and uplifted face. This can prove quite a challenge for transgender woman, since most of the time we don’t think about what our face is doing until we express an emotion.

What can we do about our propensity to frown? Find something joyful in every moment, and let your joy show. That’s much more effective than plastering a fake smile on your face – and as a bonus you’ll feel better too

Do you want to avoid other crossdressing mistakes?

If you want to hone your feminine presentation I highly recommend you purchase the ultimate crossdressing guide. And practice practice practice! You’ve spent years hiding your true self, and it will take time to break through all the masculine walls you’ve built around yourself.

With love and blessings,
Vanessa

Finding Acceptance in The Most Surprising Places

by Vanessa Law

Categories: Crossdressing Success Stories

Tags: Crossdresser Acceptance

Comments: 6 Comments

Published on: August 23, 2010

Dear Readers,

It’s with great pleasure that I share this week’s crossdressing success story. It’s a story of struggle, of accepting blessings amidst the struggle, and of courage to share the deepest part of oneself expecting rejection.

I encourage you to share your crossdressing success story, however short or long, heart breaking or inspirational – your sharing will be a blessing to others.

Meet Jessica

Hello, my name is Jessica. I’m 26 years old and live in an EXTREMELY republican, very closed minded part of the United States. I wouldn’t dare set foot out of my house as Jessica, at least not in this county. 30 or so miles away… maybe… Anyway, I love the site. I love the support and the encouragement, love the positive energy. It made me want to share my story. It is somewhat long. I present it to you so that you may share it with others if you like, in hopes that it might inspire even just one person to accept themselves.

Jessica’s Crossdressing Success Story

There are a lot of things “wrong” with me. I’m referring to problems that greatly inhibit my ability to have a “normal”[hate that word] life. Let’s not say normal, let’s say… productive. I have a 26.5 hour circadian rhythm, so I have a great deal of trouble staying “aligned” with the normal daily cycle. On top of that, I have a quite painful back condition which I cannot treat, because I cannot take NSAIDs and am a recovering addict to Vicodin, so narcotic pain relievers are a big NO.

I have a lot of social difficulties, largely due to the way I was raised. I consider myself straight, [though if emotions stirred in me the other way I would not reject them] yet I’ve never had a girlfriend, never had sex, never been kissed. I’ve been told more than once by girls I’ve met in college that I’m “just what girls are looking for,” I imagine that largely owes to my sensitivity and opened mindedness. I just fail epically when it comes to the point of expressing my interest. Usually I just avoid the situation, but when I’ve forced myself forward I’ve even had panic attacks. It is a HUGE area of difficulty in my life, and it depresses me greatly, so I will cease speaking of it now.

So that’s what’s wrong with me.

Now for what’s right.

(more…)

Crossdressers In Pursuit of The Perfect Feminine Figure

by Vanessa Law

Categories: Crossdressing Polls, Fashion, Clothes and Shoes

Tags: crosdresser body shaper

Comments: 26 Comments

Published on: August 16, 2010

It’s happened to all of us. We finally pluck up the courage to purchase an outfit of our very own and spend many days or weeks admiring our new femininity in the privacy of our home. The feelings of elation seem to touch to the core of our soul as we see the woman inside us come to life. Yet after a few weeks something happens.

We observe that the dress doesn’t hang right. The sexy blouse seems to gape in an unattractive way. Even in the dim light of evening we struggle to describe our hourglass form as such. The elation of those first tentative steps are replaced with a low grade despondency a frustration at how far our form is from the perfect feminine figure.

Enter Crossdresser Body Shapers

With some guidance from fellow crossdressers, or a few keystroke search over the Internet we find the answer to our feminine figure frustrations – body shapers. The most obvious starting place is, of course, breast forms. Of all the things missing from our bodies breasts are the first and most obvious we notice. Breast forms do the obvious – creating the appearance of real breasts, especially when carefully concealed behind a blouse or dress that masks their artificial nature. There are many places to purchase breast forms – in fact you’ll find a link to the Breastform store at the bottom of this page – but your figure firm ups don’t need to stop there.

As you know woman tend to have larger hips and curvier bottom than men. The balance between larger hips and smaller shoulders gives woman the desirable hourglass figure. As long as you don’t make the mistake of wearing a top with shoulder pads or copious gathers around your shoulders you’ve done about all you can do for your shoulder size. Your bottom half, however, presents an opportunity to further your feminine image. Hip pads and bottom pads are body shapers that many crossdressers use to balance out their wider shoulders, and give the appearance of a curvier, hourglass figure.

To take the illusion to the next level you can wear a corset, which makes your waist smaller through the painful application of a smothering force around your torso. Oftentimes you can take 2-4 inches off your waistline with a corset. Just be careful not to tie it too tight – it’s no good looking fabulous if you’re passed out on the floor!

Vanessa’s Body Shaping Routine

I must admit that I’ve found over time that I prefer fewer enhancements than more. Perhaps it’s just my desire to feel comfortable, or maybe I’m just fleeing from the struggle to keep those breast forms attached and happy. When I’m out with jeans and a tshirt or blouse I’ve found the lack of breast forms doesn’t make much difference as to whether I’m read or not. I’ve had less success going breastformless with dresses, or certain blouses that hung uncomfortably empty without them.

I generally don’t use hip or butt shapers – though if done right they can look fabulous. I haven’t worn a corset for a few years – for now I’m focusing on slimming my waist through diet and exercise. Once I’ve taken that as far as I can I’ll give the corset another try.

What about you? What’s your crossdresser body shaping routine?

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Finding The Perfect Pair of Woman's Shoes

by Vanessa Law

Categories: Crossdressed Outfit of the Week, Fashion, Clothes and Shoes

Tags: crossdresser high heels

Comments: 9 Comments

Published on: August 8, 2010

For the crossdresser taking their first tentative steps out in the world so many questions swirl around them. Will anyone notice me? What will they think? What if I meet someone I know? Among all the questions perhaps the most important goes unasked: “Do these shoes go with my outfit?”

Unfortunately for many crossdressers the answer is usually no. Many crossdressers don’t spend enough time enjoying the true diversity of woman’s shoes available. Most of us are just happy if we can find a pair of high heels we can squeeze our overly large feet into. The time we do spend looking for shoes is usually results in a shoe collection that would make a stripper blush.

Now don’t get me wrong I love stilettos as much as the next girl, but it’s difficult to enjoy a day at the park in on 4″ heels. Today I’m going to share with you a few tips for finding the perfectly fitting shoe, as well as some other fun shoe styles to try. If you know all this, and just want to find some great places to buy larger woman’s shoes you can find all the details on the crossdressing high heels page.

Crossdressers – Choose Your Woman’s Shoe Size Wisely

When selecting a woman’s shoe you should pay attention to the two measures of size – length and width. The first of which is the length, indicated by numbers (8, 9, 10, etc.). If there is no width specified it normally means the shoe has a Medium width, which get proportionally larger as the shoe size increase.

The second measurement is width, which you’ll find expressed by letters. AA for Narrow all the way to EE for the widest width. Confusingly enough you’ll also see width expressed using a different set of letters: N, M, W and WW. They’re measuring the same thing, so a handy way to think about it is:

Narrow: N or A/AA
Medium: M or B
Wide:W or C/D [Equivalent to a Men's medium]
Extra Wide: WW or E/EE

To find your woman’s shoe size you need to add one size to your men’s dress shoe size (round up if you wear a half size), and take your men’s shoe size width and add one. So a men’s 10.5 medium would end up as a woman’s 12W.

You’ll find that shoe sizes vary by manufacturer, and it’s difficult to find the largest sizes in the store to try on. I recommend that you shop at an online store that gives you free shipping and free return shipping until you’ve figured out your size. Zappos and Endless are two great online shoe stores that do shipping both ways and have a good collection of large woman’s shoes, this page has a list with more stores selling large woman’s shoes.

Two Shoe Styles You’ll Love When Not In Stilettos

Now that you know how to find the right size shoe, I’m going to share two of my favorite shoe styles that are perfect for crossdressers. I know you all have at least one pair of pumps, so I won’t mention those again

Crossdresser High Heel Ankle Boot

High Heel Ankle Boot

The high heel ankle boot is perfect for crossdressers. You get the sexy feel of pumps with the extra support of the boot. The boot helps keep you steady if you’re just learning to walk in high heels, and the enclosed boot makes your feel look smaller. Be careful about boots with an overly pointed toe (the ones to the left are fine). If the boots end in a long thin point your feet will look longer than they actually are, because a few inches of the shoe are taken up just for show.

High Heel Wedge Sandals

High Heel Wedge Sandals

Another great and comfortable choice is a wedge. These high heel wedge sandals are perfect for wearing during spring and summer. The wedge is much easier to walk on than stiletto’s, while keeping you feeling sexy. Watch out for straps that are too tight. Not only will this be painful, it will make your foot look like a squashed sausage – a definite sexy fail.

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