Archives: April 2011

There Is Still A Long Way To Go

Comments: 3 Comments
Published on: April 23, 2011

‘All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing’
– Edmund Burke

Have Transgender Woman Been Forsaken By Society?

Have Transgender Woman Been Forsaken By Society?

I was shocked and horrified as I read this report of a transgender woman being beaten in a Baltimore McDonalds (hate crime, Bilerico Project with video) . Two teenage girls viciously assaulted the 22 year old woman, even kicking and hitting her as she lay on the ground. I’m not sure whether to be outraged or heartbroken that two girls who are just 14 could express such physical vitriol against another human being. But their attack is only part of the reason I am angry and ashamed of our society right now.

Other patrons of the restaurant stood around watching during the assault, leaving just one employee and an elderly woman to attempt to break up the fight. Disgustingly enough, instead of helping, one of the men thought it best to film the whole event, and in the video you can hear other men laughing as the transgender woman is beaten to the point of a seizure.

It’s one thing for an individual to express hate and violence – we know there are tortured souls in our midst. But to stand around and watch and laugh while someone is being beaten is as good as being an accomplice to the crime. I’m sure any one of the men at the restaurant could have easily held the two teenage girls at bay. Yet they chose not to.

This is not the worst of it!

One would think that a hate crime perpetrated by two young girls while others looked on and laughed would be shameful enough, but that is not the part of the story that I mourn most. The video taken by that cowardly man was posted online and went viral across the Internet. Shame on him for being so heartless in his calm consideration of the aftermath. Shame on us for reveling in the violence of this hate crime.

Are we becoming the mindless watchers in Running Man who delight at seeing others killed and maimed? Have our hearts grown so cold that we can’t muster empathy from the comfort of our living room sofa?

I pray that we can find within ourselves care enough to weep at suffering and – at injustice – still muster enough outrage to change the world we live in. To the woman in the story, I’m sorry that you were put through such trauma, and pray that you can find strength to forgive and move on with your life – even though they, and we, do not deserve it.

3 Steps To Keeping Your Feminine Identity Secret From Facebook

Categories: Ask a Crossdresser
Comments: 6 Comments
Published on: April 17, 2011

Facebook is a wonderful tool – it allows us to stay connected to friends and those we love, we can find groups of like minded folks for fun or support, and we can waste hours farming virtual crops. Okay, so the last one doesn’t necessarily fit the description of ‘tool’, but there’s no question that Facebook has been a boon for those in the transgender community seeking comfort, support and a sense of belonging. There are thousands if not tens of thousands of transgender woman on Facebook, and hundreds of groups dedicated to exploring all aspects of the gender spectrum.

So with that I’m excited to announce that Crossdresser Heaven will now let you comment on posts Facebook style. I must admit it’s been a bit of a rocky road with trying to get a comment system that is easy to use and at the same time lets you build personal connections to aid you in your journey into the feminine.

Transgender Women – Stay Safe On Facebook

For many of you who aren’t out, crossdressing remains a private pursuit and friendships are sought anonymously on the Internet. Facebook by it’s nature, however, is social and personal and interconnected. Without a degree of care you could inadvertently expose yourself.

I’ll share a quick story, of a caring woman who posted on my wall asking for help with her husband’s crossdressing. Not 15 minutes later a friend of hers responded in shock to her post ‘really, he does this?!’. And just as quickly she deleted her comment – my heart breaks to think of the consequences that followed this revelation.

As wonderful as Facebook is, you need to understand what happens when you interact with it:

  • Like: When you press the ‘Like’ button on Crossdresser Heaven (and other websites), Facebook will show a note to all your friends that you like this
  • Commenting on Crossdresser Heaven: You have two options. The default option will post a comment, and share your comment with your friends on Facebook. You can uncheck ‘Post on Facebook’ to just leave a comment on Crossdresser Heaven. Your comment will still include your profile picture, name and a link to your Facebook page.

That Sounds Complicated, How Can I Do This Safely?

If you’re concerned about sharing your crossdressing pursuit with friends and family there is an easy step you can take to prevent this from inadvertently happening:

  1. Download another web browser (I highly recommend Google Chrome and Mozilla Firefox)
  2. Use this alternate browser for all your femme forays
  3. If you share an email address with a family member, get a new one for your femme side (Gmail offers free email addresses)
  4. Create a separate profile on Facebook for your feminine identity, and only ever sign in to this profile using the alternate web browser
  5. Follow Crossdresser Heaven on Facebook – okay, this won’t make you more secure, but you’ll get great crossdressing tips, stories and encouragement :)

That’s it – you no longer need to fear that the errant like or comment will expose the woman inside. Of course, if you’re comfortable sharing with friends and family, by all means go ahead!

Happy Facebooking!

 

I Get Overwhelmed Sometimes

Comments: 4 Comments
Published on: April 14, 2011

Like slowly building pressure in the water pipes of an old unmaintained building I can feel it. It’s not a new feeling, but the intensity and depth is unique. I used to be able to handle things, I faced the world like a lone warrior on the battlefield. A sword in one handle, a shield in another. The surging enemy in front of me would buffet but not break me. Their attacks would sting, my heart would burn and my chest would ache, but I’d raise my head for one more fight. Gallantly drawing strength from my solitude independence.

It’s not like that anymore. I break down. I stumble. Tears flow from my eyes even when they shouldn’t. I need. Someone else to talk with, to share, to open up to. A strong word or inconsiderate gesture can knock me to my knees and send me seeking a place where I can curl up and cry.

I get overwhelmed.

It’s not the transition – though surely this plays it’s part. It’s just how I am. Who I am. After all these years pretending I could do it on my own. Pretending that it didn’t hurt. I can’t. And it does. In that realization is a beautiful freedom. The authentic cry from my soul is not always joyful, but it is sincere.

So with weary limbs and a tired heart I stand astride my hilltop, looking out over the valley of my life and proclaim, ‘I’m finally me. I’m woman.’ Thought the journey has at times left me overwhelmed, the depth of my personal resonance has carved it’s own small yet distinguishable mark on the world.

Even though tears I cannot understand, the music of my being sings in tune.

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