To my lovely readers,
I can hardly believe it is already March. I feel as though it was just the other day when I went in for my first transgender surgery. I remember the trepidation the night before, fearing the procedure and wondering whether I would be pleased with the results. In the dim portion of my memory I can still see the pain of recovery, but I am blessed that I remember as if watching an old silent movie. I can see the characters, but can’t hear them. I know they are in pain, but I can’t feel it.
That was almost 8 months ago. My journey through the last 8 months has been difficult. Two surgeries, recovery and then returning to work after a long absence. My emotions have soared to the highest joy, and then dropped to the pit of despair. Yet with all that I’m startled. 8 months have gone by!
Time is easier as yourself
Tonight I was thinking back to my time before transition. When every moment as myself was a sweet and fleeting breath to be cherished. When it felt as though any time as myself was as precious as water in the desert, and evaporated just as quickly. The time between these events felt slow, arduous and filled with anguish. I was constantly tortured, forced to pretend I was another person. Forced to live a lie.
I know that many of you ladies feel the same right now. For some the future is murky, you’re not sure whether transitioning is in your future. For others the future is clear, and you know that you will forever live between the genders. In some way this makes the burden of time harder to bear, because you know you’ll carry this burden forever.
3 Tips for surviving time outside the feminine
All is not lost. If you’ve followed my 5 tips for loving your time en femme without envy you’re well on your way. Today I’d like to share 3 more tips for surviving your time outside the feminine.
- Keep the big picture in mind: If this is just a temporary stop before you transition, use it to gather your emotional fortitude (you’re going to need it!). If you are a crossdresser this might be a regular occurence, realize that this too shall pass. And soon you’ll be able to live one brief night in all your feminine glory.
- Stay present: One of the greatest blessings I’ve received since transitioning is that I am more able to be present in my life. For moments, conversations, experiences. The noise has been driven out of my mind and I can appreciate each moment more readily. You don’t need to transition to experience the present. Perhaps it’s meditation, or finding something you really enjoy to spend time on that will keep you in the present.
- Affirm yourself: Notice how you walk, how you speak, how you feel. Affirm the feminine feelings within you. See a cute dress you’d like to try? Go take a closer look. Be proud of who you are. You don’t have to prance around and make a scene, but don’t let your temporary time not crossdressed dampen your spirits.
How do you survive the long droughts between en femme?