Author: Vicki Stevens

Vicki’s Inspirations for Crossdressing Christians: In The Beginning

[Ed: They say a fine wine gets better with age, and I think that is true of this week’s Inspiration. This week’s Inspiration from Vicki was pre-empted by the lovely Christian messages for Palm and Easter Sunday, and then for another week by my crossdressing busy-ness. So without further ado, I present this week’s Inspiration for Crossdressing Christians. Take it away Vicki!]

“In the beginning God created.” From the first words of the Bible, we find the essence of accepting ourselves as cross-dressers, or gay persons, or two sexed persons, or just plain heterosexual persons with insecurities and doubts of their own. What does that mean, one may ask. Doesn’t it say later that a man should not dress as a woman, or that men’s lying with men is an abomination, or don’t work on the Sabbath, etc. Yes the Bible does say that, it in fact says many things that may often contradict other things in the Bible. Let’s worry about that later and quite honestly let’s just say this, and I believe that it is just this simple, In Christ, those concerns and restrictions are laid bare to make every human being take note and examine themselves, and then whisked away as one would a layer of dust on a coffee table on cleaning day.

What we as human beings need to do is look at the statement that God created, and realize, that He created everything and everybody. And in Light of Christ’s sacrifice we need to get back to that essential point and stop worrying about the rest of the laws and restrictions and look at those from the sense of the cultural implications and limited knowledge of the men of the day, and in light of the totality of the Biblical record, not cherry picked passages that support our own narrow sense of what it is that God intends.

In this first meditation my goal is to lay out three basic ideas that are presented to us in the Bible record. The caution here is to understand both for myself as author of these thoughts and you as readers and digesters, that oversimplification can be a dangerous path, but my hope is that in oversimplifying here, I can demonstrate the true nature of proper Scriptural reading, study, and meditation, and in that find hope and promise for the cross dresser, the Transgendered person, and others who feel condemned by preachers and teachers today, who use the Bible to advance an agenda that is not of God’s devising or desire. Simply put, it is time for God’s people, and God’s creation to take back for them God’s fulfilled promise to us all.

Today then, I will focus on God’s creative power, the concept of sin, and Christ, and to do it in less than 1500 words. Good Luck. But to involve any of these without the other is, at ones’ own peril, to live outside of God’s plan and contrary to God’s will. Again the caution is to not oversimplify and in coming weeks and months as the Spirit moves, we will possibly explore these and other concepts in more depth, but one must begin somewhere and for now this is it.

God’s Good Creation

In the beginning God created and God saw this was good. I think that this alone offers hope to anyone who lives perhaps on the edges or outside of the societal norm. As we will see later in the life of Christ and in the way He engaged the outsider, there is further validation, but for now, it is enough to begin with the idea that we were created by God. Each and every one of us, and that God has an interest in who we are, but more than that, He has purpose for the very things about us that make us unique and yes even different. If we can come to an understanding that God made us with a desire to dress differently, (hard to imagine a God interested in the fashion norms of any day and age), but that our very essence drives some of us to see ourselves as more than a male or a female.

It is hard to get away from that other creation image of Eve being made from the rib of Adam. What else could cross-dressing be then, but an attempt to recover a vital part of ourselves? Now taken literally this is a non scientific take on the evolution of the species, but there is nevertheless a nod to the idea that man and woman spring from the same source and how hard can it be to go to the next step and assume that the natural state of things is to be cognizant of this dual nature and embrace it, rather than suppress it at our own risk and perhaps contrary to the will of God.

But ultimately whether one takes the Genesis story literally or as an allegory to explain the unexplainable, we can all agree that God’s hand is at work in creation and that nothing He makes is bad. God saw that it was good. But our sinful nature can take what is good and make it bad, or contrary to God’s good purpose. We do this by our sins and by sins of others.

All Sin and Fall Short

The second piece of this large puzzle is that of sin and sin came into the world very early on. We read the story of sin and quite appropriately equate sin with temptation. In other words sin is seen by us as giving in to an impulse to do something that is outside of what is acceptable in God’s eyes. Yet what we have already seen is that what God has created is good, all of what God has created is good. So how could living in tune with the way God created us be sinful?

Read the words, and see what is happening here. (Insert Genesis 3) The serpent tempts Eve with one thing and one thing only, that to eat of the fruit of the tree is to become like God, and to know good and evil. There is so much that can be taken from that one passage alone, for now we’ll settle on this view; that original sin is at core, the desire to not only be like God, but to be God.

That is not what happens of course, the consequence is that we are stripped naked and like God we see ourselves for who we are. There may be a part of us that is not so pretty and that cause us consternation. But it is better for us if we decide not to see our own nakedness, it is better if one is worse than I am. If I point out the problem with that person, perhaps God will not see my sin.

It happens immediately, Adam blames Eve, who it must be pointed out by Adam was given to him by God. See which way the finger is pointing? And Eve is quick to blame the serpent, or the appealing nature of the tree that bears the fruit. It was the serpent’s fault, or the beauty of the tree, but it wasn’t me. And God you made those things so it must be your fault.

God did make all those things and He said to us, all of Eden is yours if you can resist the temptation to be me. Even today, it is not hard to find those who point fingers at others, at those even whom God made, so that the finger pointer will not suffer the consequences of their own sinful nature. While today we are less hesitant to blame God unless it is to invoke His wrath as the cause for trouble in the world. In a backhanded way, it is God who sent Aid’s to punish sinful gay men. Or so the moral minority would have us believe.

Even worse, we claim to know what God wants based on some outdated and very suspect words in the Bible, cherry picked out of the whole to point fingers away from us. We’ll use anything in God’s creation to place the blame or the gaze elsewhere.

God Restores the Good

God has seen all of this. After the fall in Eden, He gave His people some time to try and figure this out. He helped set up rules made by men to restore order to His world. But after all of that, after the wanderings, the homecoming, the victories of Israel’s armies and then bitter defeat, after kings both wise and foolish, it remained that man alone would not be able to do this. God, who loves His creation so completely and desires nothing more than that we love ourselves as much as He does took the ultimate step to reconcile His creation to Himself.

For God so loved the world, that He gave his beloved son Jesus Christ, so that whoever believed in Him would not perish but have eternal life. God acted to save us from ourselves. Still some cannot give up the desire to be God and judge for God what is right and what is wrong. I find it amazing on some Sunday mornings, when absent from my own church I, out of morbid curiosity tune in to one of the televangelists only to find them reading some passage from the Old Testament, read with the intent to condemn and not to save. The lesson always is, turn from the sin I’m telling you about here and then you will be pure in God’s eyes; again, this is something you must do before God will let you in.

Jesus, when He is mentioned is usually portrayed as some distant figure sitting on His throne in heaven, tallying up with the television crew, who has sent in their latest love gift to build a satellite dish somewhere in the world and proclaiming them now fit to rise to heaven on the last day; and who doesn’t. Or even worse as a person sitting on His throne disengaged from His creation, content to listen to praise songs and forgetful of His own command to love and feed His sheep.

But this is not God and this is not Christ. If you read Scripture with the intent to read it for the entire message it is hard to just simplify things. But it is that simple. Jesus lived and died to save us all from the desire to be God. His teachings are simple as well, love God, with everything that is in your being, and love your neighbor as yourself. As yourself. It begins with loving God; He is your creator and he asks nothing more of us than we do that, that we put Him first in our lives. But reverse the passage that follows for just a minute. Start with loving yourself, for loving your neighbor should proceed from that naturally if we do love God and ourselves.

God doesn’t want us to feel apart from Him. It is not His intent that who we are and who we were made to be should be a thing that separates us from God. If anything it should make us love Him more for creating something so unique, wonderful, and different. Turn the finger inward, but not in blame, but to find that which God has made. Love yourself, you are a unique creation of His and you have an important part to play in the rest of His Creation.

Lord God, You have made me and all that I am. Thank you for letting me see the beauty that is my whole and for not letting others decide for me how I should be. Because of your gifts to me, the way I am and the sacrifice of your son, I give myself back to you so that what you have made me for can be started and seen to its end. I know that I am a sinful creature as well, but that you have chosen to set that aside forever, again so that I may joyfully do that which you made me for. Allow my life to be a light to others. As in the words from my baptism: “Let your light so shine before others, that they see your good works and glorify the Father who is in Heaven” Most importantly God, let others who come to these meditations find firstly Your unconditional love, that they see their themselves as uniquely created by You, and that they accept without reservation or doubt, your love for them. In Jesus Name

Amen

Vicki’s Inspirations for Crossdressing Christians: Victory for All God’s Children: Yes this means You

When I was a child, it was the custom on Easter morning in the church that I attended with my family to bring flowers, usually fresh cut from the garden to the church. There in the narthex area would be three wooden crosses, with chicken wire attached to the fronts. There we children would hand them off to one of the volunteers, usually one of the older ladies of the church, who would place the stem of the flower in the chicken wire attached to the wooden frame of the crosses. This was at a time in the early to mid sixties in a fairly large suburban congregation and it didn’t take long for the crosses to become full. Then at the beginning of each of the services the three crosses would be brought into the sanctuary and carried up to a place very near the lectern. It was site to behold as the blaze of color from those three crosses, and even the scents assaulted our senses. What had started as a relatively plain and ugly construct, had turned into one of beauty and even to my young eyes, a powerful testament to God’s work in Jesus Christ. Easter has always been a wonderful experience for me, one that announces simply, life.

“I am the resurrection and the life.”, Jesus announced to the soldiers guarding his cold, dark, and ugly tomb on that first, long ago Easter morn. We are told there was a bright blazing light and that the Roman soldiers who were guarding the tomb, once they overcame their fear, were anxious to share the amazing thing they had just seen. It doesn’t matter to know if they had understanding, what matters was that they had witnessed a transformative event. Mary comes to the tomb and is dismayed to find His body gone. But an angel standing near assures Mary that Jesus no longer lays in this grave, “He is not here, He lives.” Later in the evening of that day He appears on the road and walks with His disciples, at first as a stranger to them, but ultimately revealing Himself in His glory. Slowly, surely and inexorably, the light and beauty overcome the cross and the grave and we are presented with fullness of Christ Risen. Alleluia.

So what is the connection from this to those crosses of my childhood church and for goodness sake, what is the hope for a simple confused cross dresser? Well, those crosses, as far as I know, are still being used at the church of my childhood. You know how it is with tradition and ritual. When I was a young adult and first returned to that church with my first wife and young family, Easter was still a special time. We had been invited to bring our flowers on Easter morning to continue the tradition. As an adult I could see that attendance had fallen significantly from the peak of the sixties. How in the world were we going to fill those three crosses. Surely we would be presented with a half flower and half chicken wire concoction. I suppose though, that this had been the opportunity that many of the proud older ladies had been waiting for, to display all the beauty of their early spring gardens and even if need be, go buy a flower or two dozen. For on Easter morning, carried at the front off the procession into the sanctuary were the three crosses, overflowing with color, and beauty, and the scent of victory. The ugliness would not prevail.

Christ is Risen! He is Risen Indeed. We can’t compartmentalize the Easter miracle apart from the ugliness of Good Friday, nor can we separate either of those from the life before. All of are one piece and point back to one another to weave the intricate details of exactly what it is that God has done. The life and teachings merely a guide for how we are to live with one another. The crucifixion and death, the descent into hell, the ultimate act of sacrifice intended to wrench us from the bondage of the old and present us to God unstained and pure; the Resurrection the final Word, the exclamation point to the story. “See, it is all true. I have overcome death and sin, and through me you shall have life.”

This is the exclamation point that even today should provide us with both the end of the story and the new beginning. It does end all discussion about my worthiness, your worthiness, their worthiness before God. Whether one chooses to believe that cross dressing, or homosexuality, or eating steak on Friday is a sin, (I personally do not) let us accept for the moment they are; but each is only one of a myriad of sins I am guilty of and incapable of escaping from. Read that again, I am incapable of escaping from, my sin. So if my sinful nature causes me to dress in feminine garments, or desire relationship with a person of the same sex, or even to eat meat on Friday, Jesus still comes in a brilliant flash of light at the door to the tomb and tells me He has taken care of it and washed me clean. He says, My Living Body is the proof, I have defeated death and by the way Sin too. So that , it was nothing done on my part, it is all God’s doing. God is in effect telling me Here is Life, it is yours with only one condition. Believe that I have done it!

Ultimately I am not so unlike the crosses of my childhood Easter. Empty, ugly, sin ridden and undeserving of God’s mercy. But God is at work, and right from the start places flowers on my empty shell. He doesn’t change the basic structure of who I am, doesn’t say you must be something else before I begin My work, He simply and lovingly places flower after flower upon me, allowing others in my life to do the same and inviting me to look at other crosses and add flowers of my own to theirs. I am far from completely covered, maybe half of one of the crossbars of the cross, and even there chicken wire and wood show through. If I look to either side of me I see other crosses, I see my grandparent’s and father’s crosses complete, shining radiantly in their Father’s sanctuary each unique in their beauty and array; I also see other’s like mine, in various stages of completion, some surprising by their being there, and those same crosses a little surprised to see mine. But the bedecking goes on. Of course to God the work is done, He has seen it to it’s end and every cross stands in His church, laden with beauty and a riotous variety of color and sensual excitement. The empty is filled, the core of each transformed. What we share alike, our sinfulness and ugliness, is now covered over and has become praise to our Lord and Our Saviour.

Lord God, Christ is Risen, Alleluia! We join all the world in shouting this from housetops and mountains. Let the victory dance begin. You have seen fit to redeem your naughty children, to look past the warts on our bodies and our souls and claim for us victory over sin and death. We give you thanks and offer those same bodies and souls, as they are, for your work in the world. Bless our work to your good end.

In Jesus Name

(Addendum: Just so we are clear, I do not view cross dressing, homosexuality in nature, or even eating meat on Fridays to be sinful in and of themselves. Context, context, context. A reading of ALL Scripture with an openness to the Holy Spirit and finally and most importantly the lens of the cross. Have a Happy and Joyous Easter and may the words Christ is Risen be on your lips daily.)

Vicki

Vicki’s Inspirations for Crossdressing Christians: We Are Not Outside God’s Acceptance

Vicki's Inspirations for Crossdressing Christians Today is Palm Sunday, for the Christian this is one of the more important days in the church calendar and in many churches is marked by attendees being given palm fronds and processing into the church singing Alleluia’s and waving the fronds back and forth. It marks the beginning of Holy Week, and while for many it is simply the Sunday before Easter, others know it as the beginning of a week long remembrance of the last days of Jesus’ life and maybe one of the most intense periods of his teachings and a total embodiment of His purpose for coming to earth. Palm Sunday marks the triumphant entry of Christ into Jerusalem, the center of the Jewish tradition and religion at the time. Jesus is greeted by exuberant crowds who lay palms in front of Him and shout Hosanna as he rides on a donkey into the city.

If we enter the scene as a participant, we may have our own reasons for singing praise to this itinerant preacher who is said to have performed miracles and taught the nearness of God’s kingdom. We too sing Hosanna, for many reasons and cheer the coming of the promised Messiah. He was viewed by all as the promised king who would restore Israel to her former glory, and reestablish the rule of God. Within the week though, the cheers have turned to jeers and the Savior is now seen not as the King of Kings, but as a rebel, an agitator, and a common criminal. Within the week, He will hang from a rough wooden cross, nails driven into His wrists and ankles, the wood splinters rubbing against His scourged back. He will have been beaten, spat upon, and condemned to death. All of this occurs because He fails to live up to the expectations of the religious leaders, and civil authorities of the time.

There is a picture we’ve all seen. It is of Christ in His agony on the cross, His arms outstretched and His head beginning to bow, and the caption reads, “I love you This Much.” Jesus knew ahead of time what He was going to go through and yet, once in Jerusalem He continued to turn the expectations of everyone on their head. He angered the keepers of the Levitical Laws by questioning those who upheld only what suited their needs and lined their pockets. It is this week that sees Jesus’ anger as He witnesses the way the money changers and profiteers have taken over the sacred Temple. It is her He overturns their tables and incites even more anger and raises in the minds of His opposition the plot to kill Him. If He won’t toe the line they say, We must get rid of Him. So they do, from the betrayal, and the abandonment, on the trumped up charges an innocent lamb is led to slaughter, and all on behalf of you and me.

The Lamb they hung to die, is the Lamb who came to preach to all, but especially to the outcast, to the sinner, even to the non Jew. No one was to be left out of God’s realm. Perhaps this is the underlying cause for what is to happen Thursday night and Friday morning. Play with a man’s livelihood and you are sure to cause some notice. But a whipping and being shown the door would have sufficed to satisfy the anger. Yet upset the assumptions of a man’s religious belief, call into question all the things that make you closer and the apple of God’s eye, and you have created a firestorm. This is Jesus’, big crime. Without the law, without the specialness of their category and class, if God loves us all equally, then where is my special place. What differentiates me from the rabble? Jesus must die.

Today we look back and often wonder where we would fit into the scheme. As a lesbian, a gay man, a transsexual, or even the guy who likes to put on his wife’s, or mother’s or the youth who puts on his sister’s clothes, we are often made to feel by both the civil and religious leaders that we are outside God’s acceptance and family. But we are not. The man who hung on a cross for our sins hung there for all of our sins. He spread His arms wide to show us how much His love encompasses and to embrace the entirety of God’s Creation.

In small ways, our mere existence challenges the established order and upsets the presumptions about proper relationship with God. But do not doubt for one moment, no matter what the Pharisees and Romans of our day tell us, we are part of the redemption. As part of that we are given an important role to play in God’s Kingdom, not the Kingdom some would wish for, but something new and unique. 2000 years later it seems, we still have not understood the meaning of Christ’s sacrifice, and that means in some ways, He still hangs there on that cross. But on one Sunday removed from the entry into Jerusalem, Jesus will prove the Truth of His ministry and the meaning of His death. On Easter we will remember the triumphant victory over sin and death. The light emanating from His face is big enough and strong enough to encompass us all. He Loves US, This Much.

Lord Jesus, Savior of us all, We stand cheering your entry into our hearts and lives. We remember the sacrifice you made for us and the lessons You taught about love and acceptance, no matter the imperfections others see in us and that we see in ourselves. You have freed us from hatred and exclusion. Today we ask that this week serve as a reminder of all you tried to teach and continue trying to teach, but mostly we offer grateful hearts for what You have done to perfect us for God. Help us to overcome the obstacles placed in our way by those who seek to please you by excluding us from your love. But also help us to love them as well. That by Your love reflected on us, we may help them to see Your Truth. You are the Lord of Lords and King of Kings. Hosanna in the Highest.

Amen

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