When considering a sex change, the legal status of your marriage is probably the last thing on your mind. But the relationship with your wife, as defined by the everyday loving interactions you two share, is something that goes through your mind throughout the day. As is the relationships you have with family, friends and co-workers. Between the myriad of doctors and psychologists and huge life upheavals, you may have missed the legal consequences for becoming a member of the fairer sex.
As a recent New York Times article shares – there aren’t any. That’s right, the transgendered have found a way to get around the bigotry which surrounds same sex marriage – albeit through a less traditional means.
28 years ago Donald Brunner married Frances Gottschalk, but after a sex change operation in 2005 Donald became Denise. His loving wife Fran stuck by her, and they had their marriage certificate amended.
While they have the piece of paper, the Brunner’s are still filled with angst over the legal status of their marriage. What does the IRS think? What would happened in the event of an accident? So far they haven’t had any trouble from government employees, but largely because the patchwork of government laws doesn’t adequately address this case. The article cites a bizarre conundrum:
Urging the United States Supreme Court to tackle the issue in 2000, lawyers for Christie Lee Littleton, a Texas male-to-female transsexual suing her husband’s doctors for wrongful death, noted the confused landscape: “Taking this situation to its logical conclusion, Mrs. Littleton, while in San Antonio, Texas, is a male and has a void marriage; as she travels to Houston, Texas, and enters federal property, she is female and a widow; upon traveling to Kentucky she is female and a widow; but, upon entering Ohio, she is once again male and prohibited from marriage; entering Connecticut, she is again female and may marry; if her travel takes her north to Vermont, she is male and may marry a female; if instead she travels south to New Jersey, she may marry a male.”
The Supreme Court declined to take the case.
Another quote from Robyn, who married before having a sex change and still with her wife:
“We always worry about the day someone does question our situation,” Robyn, 55, said. “All it takes is some right-wing people, and there’s no way to know where the court is going to rule.”
As Hilzoy writes – imagine losing your kids because a court decided your marriage no longer counted. Even after 25 years. Imagine living in fear every day, because you’re different. Yet people like Mathew Staver of the Liberty Counsel rail against human liberties when he says ‘What you’re born with is what you are’. Intending to disparage transsexuals, yet ironically many would say they are born as a woman trapped inside a man’s body. So perhaps he’s right…
Already the blogosphere has lit up, with many using this as a rallying cry to ‘just up and let us marry whomever we please‘.
One thing I do know – while our legal system may make it difficult to stay together, it cannot stop two people from loving each other.
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P.S. Get fit for your wedding – Lower body workout to be the bride you were meant to be!
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Vanessa is a happily married 30 year old transgendered woman from Seattle. It's been a long road to acceptance for her, despite the fact that she has been crossdressing for more than 25 years. Sometimes, when she looks in the mirror she longs to see the girl that lives
within her. 
6 Comments
I’m transsexual and live in Switzerland. In Switzerland, they require that you are divorced before they will perform SRS.
For that reason, and some others, I am going to Thailand for my SRS.
ciao ciao
Carolyn
pls help me even i want to sexchange ,pls male me
Thanks for the note Carolyn, it’s interesting to see how other countries handle sex changes, and the laws around them. If you get SRS in Thailand and then come back to Switzerland you can remain married?
Hugs,
Vanessa
Thailand just changed their law for sex change surgery. One has to live for one year in the sex they want to changed before the operation. Can someone verify this?
I’m 2 years post-op. I live in Illinois and was born in Illinois and have been married to a woman for over 20 years. According to state law if I had my surgery out of the country I could not have had the sex designation on my birth certificate changed if the doctor was not recognized in this country as a certified physician. My surgery was in Colorado so, all well and good, so I had my birth certificate changed. My records were also changed to female with the SSA and also at work, or so I thought. Noticing a discrepancy on my health record with my employer, I asked them to correct that. NO, they said. You are married to a woman and under state law marriage is only between a man and a woman and your health record would have to be changed to that of a domestic partnership and you would suffer whatever monetary consequences ensue. The matter is still in limbo, even though I sought help through Lambda Legal and my labor union. I have no idea where this stands now, even though they have not rescinded the order for my co-workers to treat me as a woman.
molt intiresno, gracies