Categories: Gender Identity

The Third Gender

Categories: Gender Identity
Comments: 7 Comments
Published on: September 18, 2008

Society likes clear boundaries. Black or white. Gay or straight. Male or female. The relentless desire of society to categorize and sort. Placing each of us into nice neat boxes. People struggle mightily with the concept of a third gender. The idea that someone is in between a man and a woman. Gender society does not like to think of the transgender. In spite of this new social gender constructs are created to categorize the third gender: you’re a crossdresser or a transsexual. Yet the categories strain still, so more must be constructed: pre-op transsexual, no-op transsexual, post-op transsexual.

And on it goes, until we realize that there is no third gender. Just like there is no third race, but a spectrum of diversity that scares the gender society in it’s breadth of difference.

In this wonderful video Kit reminds us that,

“There may be as many as a million genders – just floating around waiting for the right person to snatch them up, put them on and proudly parade around in their new skin. Unrestricted by layers and identity, or limitations of society or culture or social construction. See, this new gender is a function of inner desire and genuine understanding of self to be lived.”

My thought for you today is:

There is no third gender, only gender

A beautiful melody of human diversity


P.S. If you enjoyed this article please subscribe to Crossdresser Heaven to receive regular updates on things that matter to the transgendered community.

Crossdressing has made me more human

I don’t remember the day I first found a name to describe the desire I had to wear woman’s clothes. Yet even before I knew what it was called, I realized there was something forbidden about it. My subconscious kept telling me

Crossdressing is wrong

At not more than four or five years old I umpired the struggle within me between my desire to wear woman’s clothes and the feeling inside that kept telling me, ‘this is wrong’. Somehow I knew that I needed to hide what I was doing from others.

Over the years my understanding of who I was grew. I learnt that I was not alone, and discovered the difference between transgender and transsexual.

I also learnt that

Crossdressing is not just a curse

many aspects of my personality were influenced by my desire to express the feminine inside of me. My wife tells me that she was attracted to me, in part because I’m a gentle, caring person. These traits I think come from the same place in me that longs for the feminine.

Yet to share this fact wasn’t why I decided to write the article. Many books on cross dressing, such as those by Peggy Rudd or Helen Boyd mention that crossdressers inherit some of the positive aspects of the feminine persona. Such as being more gentle.

Growing up I was a very absolute person. I had been taught in Sunday school that there was right and wrong, good and evil. One of the reasons I struggled so much with crossdressing early on, was because I felt it was morally wrong. You see, I had a fairly narrow definition of what was “acceptable” in a human being. If they didn’t meet the standard I’d set for them, then I judged them “unworthy” in some way. You don’t go to church? ‘unworthy’. You don’t show care for other people in the exact same way as I do? ‘unworthy’.

Coming to terms with my crossdressing made me realize that I, too, was unworthy. So my mind had given me a choice – either continue to judge other people harshly and reflect that same wrath onto myself, or learn to accept their differences. In my more recent vocabulary: Namaste.

Crossdressing has made me realize that we are all “flawed” in some way. Yet it is those very flaws which form the foundation for our beauty. Someone will always think we are too fat, too conservative, too old, too skinny, too liberal, too tall, too short, too loud, too quiet. What they are really saying is: “You are different from me. I haven’t yet accepted my differences, so I cannot accept yours.”

Wishing you a blessed week. Celebrate your differences!

—-
P.S. Celebrating your difference doesn’t mean you have to stand out. Learn how to cross dress and pass as a woman.

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