This weekend was a cornucopia of transgender bliss. I spent most of Saturday and Sunday as Vanessa, wore a cute green dress I bought a few weeks back and finally figured out how to use the Nubra to create cleavage (a future article for sure).
It’s Sunday morning as I’m writing this. After spending most of Saturday reading in the park I’m now fully dressed and sitting at home in front of my computer with an itch to go somewhere. I feel, quite literally, all dressed up with nowhere to go.
I’d like to go somewhere, but feel as though anywhere I go will only be to share Vanessa with the world. I had thought about going to church. It’s too late in the day now, and I’m not sure I could go without causing a stir anyway. I’ll need to ponder this one for a while – I would like to make church as Vanessa a regular occurrence (come as you are…).
Shopping came to mind – it’ always seems to. I know I’ve spent too much money the last few weeks (I bought two great workout pants from Lucy, replenished my makeup supply and did electrolysis every week last month), and know that I wouldn’t be able to go to the store without buying something. Staying away from shopping centers is probably best for my budget.
So as much as I would like to go out today, I feel as though I’m stuck in my crossdresser closet. *sigh* Since I’m here I might as well make the best of it.
How Big Is Your Crossdresser Closet?
My comfort with crossdressing in public seems to wax and wane. When I first started out, just getting dressed in the privacy of my own apartment was a break through. Complete with breastforms, makeup and the necessary jewelry to accent my look I felt liberated.
Eventually I found the courage to join a crossdressing club, and once a month I would spend an evening dressed with other crossdressers. I felt as though I had finally come out the crossdressing closet. Looking back I realize that I had merely found a larger closet, but I can’t deny how fulfilling the experience was, and how edifying the experience is for others.
When I was most comfortable crossdressing in public I would regularly go to trans-friendly clubs, and occasionally go out as Vanessa during the day. Even then, I always had to dig deep to find the courage. Before I would go out a hundred reasons would go through my head as to why I should stay home.
Today I’m comfortable presenting as a more feminine man in public, whether it’s wearing subtle makeup, nail polish or feminine cut jeans and shirts. I’m a bit uncomfortable going out fully dressed as Vanessa, though I’ll do it occasionally. Every time I go out I have a wonderful time, and return home wondering why I ever had second thoughts.