As I progress further in my journey to womanhood I’ve had ample time to reflect on where my voyage began. My first post to Crossdresser Heaven was the innocuously entitled ‘Hello‘ that I shared with the Internet on January 27th 2008 – 3 years, 7 months and 11 days ago. At the time I thought I was a crossdresser, embarking on this journey to understand these strange longings within me, and hopefully to purge this demon from my mind. Many of my earliest postings dwelled on how to cure crossdressing as I furiously sought to save my soul, sanity and the sureness of my marriage.

This wasn’t the first time that I had tried desperately to understand myself, but it was when I first began in earnest on a quest that would stop at nothing less than finding a cure. As constant readers would know, my journey was at times arduous and tiring, but the joy of self discovery kept me moving forward.

Today I’m here to share two things with you. The cure for crossdressing I discovered, and the launch of a new website to share my continued pilgrimage to gender enlightenment.

The Cure for Crossdressing

I transitioned in November 2010, and for the last 10 months I have neither crossdressed, nor felt any desire to. I’m not only comfortable in my gender expression and role, but happier than I have ever been. Cure would not be a generous enough word to describe my experience, because transitioning has done more than just remove uncomfortable compulsions. Transitioning has been like a rebirth – colors seem brighter, tastes are sweeter and life is more joyful than I could have ever dreamed or imagined.

Yet this is also why I need to find another way to share my gender sojourn in a more authentic manner. To be honest, I have struggled to share my inner self on Crossdresser Heaven lately because the title is no longer something I identify with. I’m not a crossdresser, and I found it difficult to be true when the very title of what I was sharing was not.

Follow Vanessa’s Authentic Journey to Womanhood at TransgenderHeaven.com

I feel compelled to share my story, if only to make one other person’s burden a bit lighter. I’m excited to announce a brand new website – one where I am comfortable sharing my truth again. I invite you to head on over to www.transgenderheaven.com and join me in my gender peregrination.  You can also subscribe to receive regular updates from Transgender Heaven.

What will become of Crossdresser Heaven?

I have a deep love and care for all who are going through their own struggle with gender. Both for those whose struggle is internal, as well as those who stand alongside them. I have received hundreds of emails and notes from those who are desperately seeking answers – my heart goes out to them, and I couldn’t in good conscience let a valuable resource for the broader gender community fall into disrepair.

Crossdresser Heaven will continue to operate, with a renewed focus on those just beginning their exploration of gender. I will post more articles that are particularly relevant to crossdressers. From makeup and fashion tips, to questions about telling loved ones, or how to deal with the initial conflicting emotions. I think this will allow me to better serve the community, and let you get answers quicker to your questions.

I am excited about what lies ahead, and would be blessed if you would continue to be by my side.

With love and blessings,
Vanessa

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Why do men cross dress?

Why does my husband cross dress?

How can I make him stop cross dressing?

The unfortunate truth, is that there is no simple, one line answer to these questions. If there were, you probably wouldn’t be reading this article, and the debates on this topic would be silent.

In my personal experience, the fascination with woman’s clothes started when I was very young. I must have been about four years old, and I remember going to great lengths to procure and then wear my mom’s nightie. My most vivid memory is as a teenager, nervously buying a pair of pantyhose from a local supermarket and then wearing them home under my pants.

I felt (and still feel) a need to wear woman’s clothes, and I can’t quite explain where it comes from. The media like to think of cross dressing as a sexual perversion, and so naturally they see the desire to cross dress and purely for sexual gratification. The problem with this theory is that when I (and many others) first felt the desire to cross dress I didn’t know what sex was.

Many cross dressers I’ve asked describe the need as ‘feeling more comfortable wearing woman’s clothes’. This is sometimes (but not always) coupled with the desire to be seen as a woman. To not just dress like a woman, but behave like one as well, to wear make-up and otherwise pass as a woman. There are others who cross dress for sexual excitement. The need to cross dress is indeed a spectrum.

That still doesn’t answer the question why do men cross dress?

Marcy proposes a few interesting answers to this questions.

One argument is that transvestism of cross-dressing is a way of offering a challenge to society’s preconceptions about gender. Some men cross-dress because they are unhappy at being men. Others didn’t mind the male state, but also like to put on women’s clothes occasionally. Some men cross-dress simply to make a passing social or fashion statement, and some because they have emotional needs that can only be met by the comfort that wearing women’s clothes gives them.

Yet the true reason why men cross dress remains somewhat of a mystery. It is intensely personal, often confusing and sometimes guilt ridden. I’m hopeful that as society grows more tolerant of diverse gender expression we will see more cross dressers and transgendered stepping forward to share their stories. Without the need to justify their behavior, and no longer shamed by society perhaps we will be better able to answer this baffling question.

Comment and let me know, I would love to hear- why do you cross dress?

—
P.S. Do you want to crossdress and pass as a beautiful woman? Download the ultimate crossdressing guide today!

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A woman must not wear men’s clothing, nor a man wear women’s clothing, for the LORD your God detests anyone who does this.

That seems pretty clear to me. Not only is it a sin, but a detestable sin. At least that’s what my pastor was kind enough to remind me when I went to him for advice. He was quick to point out that while God welcomed all children to His flock – even the hurt and broken – He did not intend for them to stay that way. I asked him for resources and support to help me overcome this and he pointed me to Randall’s website.

Now as you know I’ve previously written about being a Christian crossdresser, and I firmly believe that God can do more than we could ever hope for or imagine – He even has the power to cure crossdressing (if you think about it for a second, this is probably quite easy compared with healing the sick and raising the dead).

But if crossdressing were such a detestable sin, surely the Bible would be overflowing with admonishments against crossdressing. At least a mention in the New Testament, or a reaffirmation by another prophet in the Old Testament. What we have though is Deuteronomy 22:5. Which happens to be only six verses away from Deuteronomy 22:11

Do not wear clothes of wool and linen woven together

And Deuteronomy 22:12

Make tassels on the four corners of the cloak you wear

Now I’m sure that every good Bible believing Christian checks to ensure their clothes aren’t made from different materials, and is diligent about making tassels for their coats. Surely being just six verses away would make these commandments as important and worthy of fervor? Not so it seems. The inconvenient laws from the Old Testament ‘no longer apply to modern society’. It seems somewhat hypocritical to me that Christians would use this verse to damn the transgendered as sinners and heretics. Joanna does this line of reasoning full justice when she discusses Crossdressing and Christianity

Randall constructs a compelling argument that crossdressing is not Christian. It is worth reading, he begins:

While searching for an answer to the question of cross-dressing being a sin, I realized that I was looking for a black and white literal answer in the Word that was not there. My reasoning was that if the prohibition was not there, it was OK to cross-dress. Later, I realized that was the same attitude the Pharisees had in Jesus’ day – they would strain at observing all of the “must dos,” but they would create all kinds of ways to follow the law literally while breaking it in spirit. It occurred to me that on this issue, I had become a legalist! (more)

Clearly crossdressing is not a sin, any more than eating pork or wearing clothes made of different fabrics. Given this we should should not be willing to accept the condemnation of others, especially not Christians. As Paul says in Romans 2:1

You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgement on someone else, for whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgement do the same things.

And in rejecting the condemnation of others, we should realize that Jesus Christ does not condemn us.

For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son. – John 3:17-18

So we have accepted that crossdressing is not a sin, but what of the other lines of reasoning Randall puts forth? I’ll discuss those in more detail in a future post. In ending this post I want to again urge you.

Don’t let anyone else tell you that crossdressing is ‘right’ any more than you let anyone tell you that crossdressing is a sin. Your true purpose in life is known to God, and revealed to you through your relationship with Him. He may want to cure you, change your heart, or use you to bring comfort and blessing to others. Be open to His plan for your life.

Hugs and Blessings

Vanessa

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There’s plenty of sites out there that will boldy claim that crossdressing is incurable. Starting with the prelude that crossdressing isn’t a disease (hence needing no cure). We could get into endless debate about whether it’s a disease or not, so setting that question aside, is crossdressing curable?

Over the next few weeks I’ll see to answer that question (at least reserach it and present some points of view).
For my own part, I’ve been crossdressing ever since I was four years old. There have been periods when I’ve dressed, and periods when I haven’t. There have even been months, almost years when I haven’t thought about slipping on a satin evening gown, or strapping on a pair of high heels. Then like a snake in the night it’s back – and I find myself daydreaming about being transformed into a beautiful princess.

For the last few year’s I’ve believed the common wisdom that there is no cure for crossdressing. In fact, have even come to accept who I am (and dare I say enjoy being who I am!). I can’t honestly say that I’ve ever given a focused, dedicated, and constantly renewed effort to ‘beat this thing’.

Sure, I’ve purged (who hasn’t!), in fact I can count three times where I’ve thrown away clothes I’d love to see still hanging in my closet. Usually the result of guilt, building up over a few months. One purge was a result of my noble intentions to truly do something better with my life. After all, spending hours learning how to put on make-up, and shopping for the perfect top aren’t exactly “productive” time.

Is there really a cure out there?

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