Transgender News and Info

Crossdressers – Be Careful Out There

By Vanessa Law | Published February 27, 2010 | 5 Comments

D Cup Breast Forms for saleBefore I get into this week’s article I wanted to let you know that I’m selling a pair of new D cup breastforms on Ebay.  I bought them from the Breastform store a while back, but realized I prefer smaller breast forms. The auction ends this Sunday, currently the price is only $28, which is quite a bargain compared with the $169 they’ll cost from the store :)

After that brief prelude, on to this week’s article:

Of all the blessings afforded the crossdresser, few can compare with the Internet. Barely twenty years ago there was a dearth of information on crossdressing. We were doomed to live afflicted with guilt wandering alone in the barren wilderness. We eyed ourselves in the mirror feeling isolated by the shame of our “perversion”. Many took their secret to the grave, never daring to tell another of the feminine inside of yearning to be free. Unable to bear their own judgment, a few unfortunate souls hastened their own journey from this world.

The Internet is changing this…

I’m old enough to have spent my teenage years without the Internet – to have endured my crossdressing alone, wrestling day and night with feelings of shame and the unceasing compulsion to wear woman’s clothes. I was torn – I needed to talk with someone – to try and understand myself – yet I knew, I KNEW that what I was doing was so shamefully wrong I could never reveal it to another soul.

Isolation drove me to absurd conclusions, and made the crazy seem rational. It’s not a coincidence that solitary confinement is among the worst punishments a prisoner can receive. We’re biologically wired to need companionship – to draw strength from a familiar face, and seek community among like minded souls. So we join the local church, or woman’s group, or Toastmaster’s club. We find others like us where we can fit in.

For crossdressers, the Internet is the ultimate club. A place where we can find companionship while still retaining our anonymity. Where we can learn about our unique nature without mumbling a lame excuse in response to the librarian’s questioning stare at the “Crossdressing for Dummies” book in our hand.

But The Internet is Not All Sunshine and Roses

Recently a reader of Crossdresser Heaven found this out the hard way. Lucy (as we’ll call her) had submitted a crossdressing success story along with a lovely photo of herself in her feminine attire. A few months later she had the misfortune to break up with her girlfriend – a girlfriend who both knew about Lucy’s crossdressing and her story on Crossdresser Heaven. A girlfriend with a vengeful streak, who decided to use the story to out Lucy to her friends and family. Soon afterwards I received an urgent email asking that the story be taking down – a request I hastily honored.

As I said above, the Internet is a wonderful thing for crossdressers, the friendship and self-validation you can find will nurture your soul. I only ask that you think carefully before “coming out on the Internet”. Photos are stories have a way of getting around.

Be careful out there.
Hugs,
Vanessa

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Your Chance At Crossdressing Fame

By Vanessa Law | Published January 11, 2010 | 7 Comments
Crossdressing-fame.jpg

Your chance at crossdressing fame

I’m excited to share this opportunity with the lovely ladies of Crossdresser Heaven. It’s your chance at crossdressing fame, but more importantly, you’ll be able to impact public perception of crossdressing in a positive way. (And you’ll get some fabulous professional photos too!)

Kate, a journalist for More! (A UK woman’s glossy magazine) contacted me last week. She is writing a feature on modern crossdressing, and is looking to interview a young couple who have overcome crossdressing. In her words:

I’m after the story of a woman in her twenties whose boyfriend or husband dresses in women’s clothes and they’re both fine with it. The feature would be insightful and positive, rather than sensationalist and would look at a young couple who have dealt with cross dressing in a loving and supportive way. There would be a full professional photo shoot involved and possibly a fee. If you can help in any way, that would be fantastic

If you’re interested, you can contact Kate at katebc76@yahoo.co.uk. It’s a great opportunity for ladies in the UK, but Kate tells me she has access to photographers in the US as well – so don’t let distance prevent you from volunteering.

As a quick note, I’m in no way affiliated with More!, please use your best judgement when meeting people in regards to safety, and before paying any fees.

Would You Share Your Crossdressing in a Magazine Story?

Even if you don’t qualify for Kate’s story, I’m interested:


Would You Share Your Crossdressing in a Magazine Article?

View Results

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Macy’s Loves Crossdressers

By Vanessa Law | Published September 14, 2009 | 1 Comment

Macy's Loves CrossdressersA few weeks ago you shared your favorite crossdresser friendly stores with me. Thanks for all your submissions so far! Many of you ladies raved about a store I dearly love (a bit too much according to my wife :) ). Macy’s is the transgender friendly store to shop at!

If you look in my closet you’ll find tops and skirts I’ve purchased there. Their clothes fit well, look great and I always have a positive experience out shopping. Best of all, Macy’s makes it easy to avoid a common crossdressing pitfall – choosing inappropriate clothes. Macy’s has a selection of clothes to fit all ages and styles. You don’t have to look frumpy just because your figure is slightly larger than most woman.

Okay, enough of my glowing review, I thought I’d share two more perspectives on Macy’s.

Deena wrote me a glowing review recommending Macy’s:

I have shopped at Macy’s department stores and found them to be very helpful in finding the right size and look in clothing. They are very understanding with the transgendered and crossdressing community. Also they are very supportive in the Pride Day festival as they realize that the GLBT community has a economical benefit in the communities they serve.

Petra even wrote an article describing her positive experience with Macy’s

I want to give a particularly warm (and hopefully not overly familiar) hug to our friends at Macy’s – the Grand Old Lady of department stores. Sales Assistants have been helpful and just nicely curious about my shopping,en femme and in drab. When I have been in a Macy’s wearing a Macy’s dress, it gets noticed by staff. On 2 separate occasions an SA has excitedly told me that I look terrific and that they appreciate that I am a Macys customer. Online, my reviews have been published quickly, and weirdly, other customers have found them helpful.

Thank you Macy’s! Take a moment to browse their selection of women’s clothes. I’m sure you’ll find something you love!

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What’s your favorites transgender store? Please send me a quick email to vanessalaw@crossdresserheaven.com with the name of your favorite store, and a short story on your positive transgender experience and I’ll share it with others.

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The Thin Pink Line

By Vanessa Law | Published August 27, 2009 | 15 Comments

You may have heard the news a few weeks ago that the first openly transgender mayor, Stu Rasmussen had a complaint filed against him (his chosen pronoun) for inappropriate attire.

I won’t repeat the whole story, the Statesmen Journal, and Feministing (with a counter point) do a good job describing it all. The short, short version is that Stu attended a youth event in high heels, a very short skirt and a revealing halter top. The director of the youth event filed a formal complaint about Stu’s outfit with the city council president. News ensues.

Oregon’s Transgender Mayor

I’ve been stewing on this (pardon the pun), for a while now, quite unsure how to comment on this. On one hand Stu has tremendous courage running for public office as a transgender person. His self expression doesn’t fit within the ‘norms’ of the transgender community. He has breast implants, presents as a woman, and chooses to be referred to as “he”. More genderqueer, and less “crossdresser” or “transsexual”. I’m tremendously proud of the self assurance he has shown to overcome not just the biases of society, but even the labels the transgender community tends to use.

There is not doubt that certain news organizations will jump on any opportunity to reinforce biases. It’s not fair, but it’s the world we live in. Stu showed a lack of judgment when he wore a skimpy outfit to a youth event. Worse, his lack of judgment reflects poorly on all those in the transgender community.

Do We Thwart Self Expression?

Yet for all I’ve said about, it’s a thin line that divides “self expression” from “responsibility to a group”. Society tells us we cannot wear dresses and makeup. Are we just as wrong to deny Stu his right to self expression? Perhaps in fighting so hard for our rights we treat the rights of other’s as expendable.

Tell me what you think. Where is the balance between self expression and group responsibility. Was Stu wrong to wear that outfit? Or are we wrong to get down on our first transgender mayor for his choice of clothes?

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Crossdressing – It’s a Republican Thing

By Vanessa Law | Published August 11, 2009 | 6 Comments

 Crossdressing - It's all about the money The battle for transgender acceptance is like walking uphill in high heels – a tough slog. As transgendered woman we constantly run afoul of social norms and religious ideology. We’ve valiantly tried to tie transgender rights to civil rights, using the law as a tool to drive equality. The transgender law center is one organization that does great work in this area.

Many have advocated for a dual pronged approach – seeking to change not only the law, but also the hearts and minds of it’s citizens. I agree with them – I think it’s vitally important to express yourself to others in a positive way. Each interaction will break down their prejudices as they see that we are more alike than different.

We have a third arrow in our quiver as we fight for acceptance and equal rights.

Crossdressers – Show Me The Money!

For those outside the US my reference to Republicans may seem confusing. In the US there are two dominant political parties. I’m over simplifying: The Democrats (Obama’s party) typically advocate a more liberal agenda – both socially (e.g. gay marriage) and as it affects business (workers rights, consumer rights). The Republicans (Bush’s party) typically advocate a more conservative agenda – both socially (conservative Christian morals, anti-abortion) and as it relates to business (more business friendly, lower corporate taxes, etc.).

There are few social forces more powerful than the free market economy. Over the last century it has presided over America’s path to becoming a super power, and this century is ushering in China’s resurgence as a global player. It has given us better cars, cheaper clothes and faster computers. The more cynical among you may lament that greed has been the predominant force of the last 150 years. Even after the last two years, making money is still an important part of our society. And one that we need to recognize as we work towards transgender acceptance.

Transgender Capitalism – It Starts With a Blessing

A few weeks ago I raved about the experience I had at a local Lucy’s Activewear store. I also sent an email to their customer service department:

Hi There,
I wanted to share with you a wonderful experience I had recently at your Bellevue, WA store.

As a transgendered woman there are many times I receive questionable service when out shopping. This last weekend I was looking for some hot yoga pants in Lucy’s. The staff was courteous and helpful. They offered suggestions on what would is the most comfortable, what most flatters my figure and let me know which new styles were coming for fall.

I must admit that I was somewhat blown away by the level of service I received, and wanted to say thank you!

I run a reasonably popular blog and many of my readers are interested in woman’s apparel. I thought I would share my wonderful experience with them – you can read what I wrote at http://www.crossdresserheaven.com/every-crossdresser-should-shop-here-at-least-once/

<snip>

I hope many of them go on to become loyal customers of Lucy, just like I am!

Thank you again for your wonderful clothes, your stellar service and for being transgender friendly!
Hugs,
Vanessa

The next day I received an encouraging and heart warming response:

Dear Vanessa,

You just made our day.  We’re so happy that you had such a great experience shopping lucy at Bellevue!  We love the great blog review, and we have forwarded the link to our PR rep.  I will also be forwarding your compliments to our Bellevue store.

Thank you so much for writing and sharing your great lucy experience with us.
Sincerely,

In some small way I rewarded Lucy for being transgender friendly. It took 10 minutes of my time, didn’t require me to ‘out’ myself and reinforced transgender customers as a market opportunity. As part of doing that I hope I also imparted a small measure of our shared humanity to the people who received my email.

Business Cannot Justify Transgender Bias

The most successful businesses are driven to create value – for customers and shareholders. Very few let ideology get in the way of profits. The reason more businesses aren’t transgender friendly is because they don’t know we’re a market for their products. Or if they do know, they underestimate our collective purchasing power.

Changing The Hearts And Minds of Businesses In 3 Simple Steps

You can do 3 simple things to ensure transgender acceptance among the business community:

  1. When you have a great experience let them know! Most companies allow you to contact customer service through their website. It’s quick, and you don’t need to disclose your male identity. Let them know about a great experience you had, no matter whether you shopped en femme or bought feminine things as a man. Be sincere – everyone loves praise!
  2. Share your wonderful experience with the world! If you have a blog, or belong to a forum – let others know about your experience. Reward the business for being transgender friendly.
  3. Highlight a transgender friendly business on Crossdresser Heaven! Email me at vanessalaw@crossdresserheaven.com. Share your story with me, the name and website of the business and I’ll post it to Crossdresser Heaven.

I also recommend letting them know when you share your experience on your website (or when it appears on Crossdresser Heaven) – it’s a powerful motivator for them to know that your experience touches many others as well.

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Help the Transgender Community – Take This Survey

By Vanessa Law | Published July 5, 2009 | Leave a comment

I’m a big supporter of research surveys that cover those in the transgender community. Research will not only bring an enhanced understanding of the transgender condition (for lack of a better term), but also bring more visibility to the transgender community. I’m under no illusion that science will discover a cause or cure for our transgenderedness. I do believe that shining a realistic light on the transgender experience will bring crossdressing acceptance to our communities. Most of the crossdressers I’ve met look more like regular people, struggling with regular problems, not side show freaks some in the media make us out to be.

Most of all, I hope that more data about the joys, hopes, struggles, strife and triumphs of those in the transgender community will provide impetus for political change.

Transgender Survey

So now that I’ve convinced you to spend a few minutes of your time for a good cause ;) Please take this transgender mental health survey. It won’t take much time, but will provide valuable data for those who seek to understand us better.

I hope you had a fabulous 4th July, and if you were lucky enough to have a long weekend, I hope it was a luxurious blessing!

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P.S. If you are a researcher who would like to publicize a research survey within the transgender community, please contact me at vanessalaw@crossdresserheaven.com – I am more than happy to share your survey with readers of Crossdresser Heaven.

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A Blessing From Twitter – A Transgender Movie List

By Vanessa Law | Published June 1, 2009 | 2 Comments

One of my friends on Twitter (http://twitter.com/SistersTalk) recently posted a good list of gay and lesbian themed movies. Being the inquisitive sort I asked if she had a similar list of movies that feature a transgendered character in some way. Boy did she ever!

So I thought I’d share with you the most comprehensive list of transgender movies known to woman! I’ve only seen a few of them (so time to fill up my Netflix queue!). Some of the ones I enjoyed the most:

Vanessa’s Transgender Movie List

Mrs Doubtfire - A Crossdressing Movie Mrs. Doubtfire. In no way a serious transgender movie, but Robin Williams does a great job portraying the elderly Mrs Doubtfire. A good family movie.

image Ma Vie En Rose is of the more serious sort. It explores the story of an innocent young boy who tries to fulfill his dream of becoming a girl, and the social consequences his gender confusion has on the rest of the town.

Well, I could share a few more here, like Priscilla, Queen of the dessert, but you already have the most comprehensive list ever made :) . What are some of your favorite movies that feature a transgender character or have a transgender theme?

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P.S. Follow me on Twitter – I’d love to hear what you’re doing and what you’re thinking. Who knows, you may even find something useful. Like a transgender movie list :)

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