I don’t remember the day I first found a name to describe the desire I had to wear woman’s clothes. Yet even before I knew what it was called, I realized there was something forbidden about it. My subconscious kept telling me
Crossdressing is wrong
At not more than four or five years old I umpired the struggle within me between my desire to wear woman’s clothes and the feeling inside that kept telling me, ‘this is wrong’. Somehow I knew that I needed to hide what I was doing from others.
Over the years my understanding of who I was grew. I learnt that I was not alone, and discovered the difference between transgender and transsexual.
I also learnt that
Crossdressing is not just a curse
many aspects of my personality were influenced by my desire to express the feminine inside of me. My wife tells me that she was attracted to me, in part because I’m a gentle, caring person. These traits I think come from the same place in me that longs for the feminine.
Yet to share this fact wasn’t why I decided to write the article. Many books on cross dressing, such as those by Peggy Rudd or Helen Boyd mention that crossdressers inherit some of the positive aspects of the feminine persona. Such as being more gentle.
Growing up I was a very absolute person. I had been taught in Sunday school that there was right and wrong, good and evil. One of the reasons I struggled so much with crossdressing early on, was because I felt it was morally wrong. You see, I had a fairly narrow definition of what was “acceptable” in a human being. If they didn’t meet the standard I’d set for them, then I judged them “unworthy” in some way. You don’t go to church? ‘unworthy’. You don’t show care for other people in the exact same way as I do? ‘unworthy’.
Coming to terms with my crossdressing made me realize that I, too, was unworthy. So my mind had given me a choice – either continue to judge other people harshly and reflect that same wrath onto myself, or learn to accept their differences. In my more recent vocabulary: Namaste.
Crossdressing has made me realize that we are all “flawed” in some way. Yet it is those very flaws which form the foundation for our beauty. Someone will always think we are too fat, too conservative, too old, too skinny, too liberal, too tall, too short, too loud, too quiet. What they are really saying is: “You are different from me. I haven’t yet accepted my differences, so I cannot accept yours.”
Wishing you a blessed week. Celebrate your differences!
—-
P.S. Celebrating your difference doesn’t mean you have to stand out. Learn how to cross dress and pass as a woman.
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Vanessa is a happily married 30 year old transgendered woman from Seattle. It's been a long road to acceptance for her, despite the fact that she has been crossdressing for more than 25 years. Sometimes, when she looks in the mirror she longs to see the girl that lives
within her. 
11 Comments
> Growing up I was a very absolute person
In the past I found absolutes easy to deal with. Right and wrong, with you or against you.
As you meet more people and life throws you the odd curve ball, you re-evaluate your beliefs and personally, I think of most things now as a sliding scale. Sure, there are big bad things out there, but there are also minor blips of ‘badness’ that don’t amount to much in the great swing of things.
When I was growing up, I struggled with the whole ‘cross-dressing is bad’ thing too. Now, I’m not so bothered. Far worse things could have happened and I’ve had some great times and met some very interesting people through the years because of background.
Here’s an honest account of a cross dresser of underwear from the UK. http://current.com/items/88902733_in_my_underwear
As a male I was shy a loner and nervous ! A sociophobic. But as Joanna I am talkative Love mixing with people at parties Fumble in my handbag Spend hours shopping in the ladies depts Not scared in public as I was as a male
Now I easily make friends with other womennLove to gospi with them especialy about the bad side of their boyfriends Fashion makeup and apperance
Ive been a CD since I was 7rs old I am now retired and live enfemme after over 50yrs as a CD
Joanna
Go girl! The ways that crossdressing touches our lives are numerous and sometimes wonderful. I’m so happy to hear you’ve found acceptance and a good circle of girlfriends who you can spend time with!
I have loved sharing my experiences aboout coming out, dressing, photo shoots, fashion and interviews with some fab t-girl celebrities.
Please come share in my experience at my blog which is crossdresserphotblog.com
I hope to share, inform and move our cause ahead!
Докажите, что всё вот так то? Исследую, как нам прояснить данную тему.
I have one fear, and that fear is coming out.
Is there any willing to help me?
Terri, the best place to start is to find a local support group. Take a look here: http://www.crossdresserheaven.com/crossdresser-support-groups/ to find one in your area.
I wish I could get the help I need
Terri, Hi hon, I’m Ragina. What help do you need? Honestly, coming out can be a most stressful time in a crossdresser’s life. Is it really necessary for you to “come out”? If you have a girlfriend, wife, family members, etc. , Then maybe you do. If not, then you should consider waiting to be open about crossdressing. Perhaps you are in a place where you really can’t be totally open, such as work. In that case, you can always crossdress “under cover” . Wear a pretty pair of panties and pantyhose under your regular work attire. And , of course don’t forget a good pedicure can do wonders for the feminine parts of you. With all that said, you are at one of the best places for help that you can find anywhere on line. There is a whole world of help right here, all you need to do is ask. I’m not saying this because Vanessa asked me to. I’m saying this on my own. Reach out and say what is bugging you. Someone out here has already been there. Above all, love yourself.
am i a crossdresser if i only wear panties? and do you think ill ever wear more than panties?
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