I don’t remember the day I first found a name to describe the desire I had to wear woman’s clothes. Yet even before I knew what it was called, I realized there was something forbidden about it. My subconscious kept telling me
Crossdressing is wrong
At not more than four or five years old I umpired the struggle within me between my desire to wear woman’s clothes and the feeling inside that kept telling me, ‘this is wrong’. Somehow I knew that I needed to hide what I was doing from others.
Over the years my understanding of who I was grew. I learnt that I was not alone, and discovered the difference between transgender and transsexual.
I also learnt that
Crossdressing is not just a curse
many aspects of my personality were influenced by my desire to express the feminine inside of me. My wife tells me that she was attracted to me, in part because I’m a gentle, caring person. These traits I think come from the same place in me that longs for the feminine.
Yet to share this fact wasn’t why I decided to write the article. Many books on cross dressing, such as those by Peggy Rudd or Helen Boyd mention that crossdressers inherit some of the positive aspects of the feminine persona. Such as being more gentle.
Growing up I was a very absolute person. I had been taught in Sunday school that there was right and wrong, good and evil. One of the reasons I struggled so much with crossdressing early on, was because I felt it was morally wrong. You see, I had a fairly narrow definition of what was “acceptable” in a human being. If they didn’t meet the standard I’d set for them, then I judged them “unworthy” in some way. You don’t go to church? ‘unworthy’. You don’t show care for other people in the exact same way as I do? ‘unworthy’.
Coming to terms with my crossdressing made me realize that I, too, was unworthy. So my mind had given me a choice – either continue to judge other people harshly and reflect that same wrath onto myself, or learn to accept their differences. In my more recent vocabulary: Namaste.
Crossdressing has made me realize that we are all “flawed” in some way. Yet it is those very flaws which form the foundation for our beauty. Someone will always think we are too fat, too conservative, too old, too skinny, too liberal, too tall, too short, too loud, too quiet. What they are really saying is: “You are different from me. I haven’t yet accepted my differences, so I cannot accept yours.”
Wishing you a blessed week. Celebrate your differences!
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P.S. Celebrating your difference doesn’t mean you have to stand out. Learn how to cross dress and pass as a woman.
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am i a crossdresser if i only wear panties? and do you think ill ever wear more than panties?
Hi Victoria,
Don’t get too hung up on labels. if you only wear panties you’re still crossdressing, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll want to wear more than that.
Relax and do what feels right to you. There are no rules
Hi Victoria I'm pretty much the way you are….I wear panties all the time….I started out wearing only panties but gradually tried other articles of clothing and found it to be very exciting….I am now wearing stockings and bras whenever possible…..so in answer to your questions….yes you are a crossdresser and you will feel much better by admitting it to yourself…..I am sure you will progress to wearing other feminine clothing
I don't give a damn where she was tought against crossdressing if i was born a girl in the first place i wouldn't bother crossdressing period.
Your question is DOES CROSSDRESSING MAKE YOU MORE HUMAN?.
Th answer is yes and no. In the no part is just the physical structure,
you are human with all the body parts, being male or female. you are structurally the same as any other human on this planet, unless you have a third arm or something.
In the yes part. The human brain, their DNA, and the variable hormonal make-up aids in determining our GENDER ORIENTATION.
If a male has an unbalance hormone level (estrogens & testosterone)
then it plays heavily in gender recognition. Those with higher testosterone levels are more agressive, are stronger physically and are more likely to reject things that are considered feminine. Of course those with lower male hormone levels would be more attracted to
those things considered feminine, but this doesn’t mean he would identify as a female. If however that same male has a higher estrogen
level he may.
The brain in its developement is a determiner as well. It is well documented that mens’ brains develope different from the female brain
(left brain/right brain). Some males develope a female brain and it is what is causing the formation of transgenderism. A male with a developed female brain will THINK like a female. He will see the world as a female does. He will know he doesn’t quite fit into the male world,
but also not fit into the female world. It will however be lesser of the latter. As a young boy he will be attracted to more feminine things,
this could be clothing, toys, or other items associated with the feminine world. This is where the inner conflict begins. He is told to be a man, boys don’t cry and the like. Boys are pushed towards more manly things like sports, competition, manly skills, but the female brain boy just doesn’t fit here. He’s awkward in sports, crys easily
and becomes withdrawn, trying to seek out where he fits in the world.
There is no evidence or studies known if and how DNA effects the gender identity. The only thing that is certain is that of the 26 Chromosomes half are male and half are female. Unlike Gays who have
an extra chromosome at the end of the strands, do transgendered persons have an extra chromosome that is paralelled to the X & Y chromosomes. This has never been researched.
To put it more bluntly humans are very complex. I do think being transgendered does make us more human. Being more human in that we are closer to that which makes a human. WE are a blend of both genders, while physically one gender, mentally the other. We can more easily accept both worlds, liking some of the masculine world and some of the feminine world. While it is not always evenly balanced
it does aid in our developemnet of our humanity.
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