En Femme, In Stealth

Unfortunately we can’t spend every day presenting as our feminine persona. Whether it’s work, family or friends we all have occasion dress as a man. If you’re like me, this can be immensely frustrating. When dressed as a man I feel as though I’m wearing a mask that hides my true self. Yet there are many ways to express your femininity without letting your inner girl run wild.

In this week’s crossdressing poll, I’d love to hear how you express your femininity in stealth. If you have a way not listed below, please take a moment to share – I know that many of the readers would appreciate learning new ways to be the girl inside, even when circumstances don’t allow.

[poll id=”23″]

Last Week’s Crossdressing Poll

The results from last week’s early crossdressing valentine poll are in. Almost half of you gorgeous ladies take the opportunity on Valentine’s day to buy yourself some sexy lingerie, while for a good number Valentine’s day is about spending a romantic evening with the person you love. Whatever you choose to do on this hallmark holiday – do it with all your heart and look fabulous!

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About the Author

A woman living in Seattle, enjoying the freedom to be who she is every moment of her life!

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  1. Elizabeth says:

    I answered that I underdress, but I also use feminine movements and gestures, and style my hair if not trulyfeminine, at leat in an androgynous style. Wintertime is easier, because I wear enough over-clothing to completely hide any traces of a bra or cami. I have a pair of Bass boots that have a round toe, and 2″ heel that can pass for an unusually high men’s heel, like motorcycle boots. I find when walking in them, I have to take shorter steps, to keep my weight centered over the heel, or it hurts my ankles. But that folds right in with feminine movements, so it is OK. I try not to swing my hips too much, though; I don’t want to be seen as a “flamer”. Even in warmer weather, unless I am wearing shorts, I usually wear 50 denier black hose, with a 6-strap garter belt. (Two and four strap belts may LOOK sexy, but they really do not hold the hose up evenly enough to feel comfortable.) I also, here again unless I am dressed such that my toes would show, keep my toenails painted. I have always grown my finger nails longer than most men, and have always kept them clean and well-manicured and buffed, but that is not feminine; it is just good hygiene.

    • leona says:

      I try to dress femm. every day. though most of the time i wear womans jeans. Always a cute top and a bra which does not give to much away. I find that i lean more to the TS. side and try to express that which is within. I always have at least eye shadow and liner. I am coming to that place where i dont really care what others may be saying behind my back. But, i am on disability and do not have to deal with the work place. Elizabeth i purchased the enhancers that you told me about and love them. i can even bicycle with them and have had no problems!!

  2. Racquel Lynn says:

    I have not even owned a pair of mens underwear in about 20 years, so I always have panties on. I also have permanent make-up (Eyeliner and full lip color in Magenta) that really stands out. I also usually wear earrings and jewelry that is mostly feminine. I also have my own long hair. Most of my clothes are puchased in the womens department, even many things that I wear when I have to be in male mode. I always wear womens jeans, and I have a lot of shirts that are womens, but the look can be pulled off as female, borderline/unisex, and sometimes will even work as male clothing. Since I am also a rocker, many of the female clothes I have can also be pulled off as the rocker look. I also have quite a few unisex type of clothes, especially concert shirts and other T-shirts. I am usually in jeans and T-shirt in male mode but also in female casual mode with a little more make-up and a bra with breast forms.
    Of course I have a whole huge wardrobe of all female clothing that is undeniably female that I do like to wear as much as possible. Skirts, dresses, shirts, etc.
    I guess the even when I am dressed the most male I will ever look is when I have to wear a suit. I hate suits and ties, but I wear them when I absolute have to or in situations that seem appropriate (according to everyone elses standards) Such as when I am working certain jobs. I own my own business doing professional video production and mobile DJ, so I do a lot of weddings and other formal/semi formal affairs where I am expected to wear a suit or even a tux. To look good for the business, and to get repeat business, I make the sacrifice. But I still have panties on underneath and usually panty hose, I will add a little light make-up and jewely that is feminine, yet appropriate to the occasion.
    I also practice a more feminine voice and manerisms as much as possible, which kind of went out the window during the 9 years I worked at a bar and had to play disciplnarian and bouncer a lot.
    Having to be stern with a large group of trouble making drunks on a nightly basis for so long kind of puts you a few steps back in coming accross as feminine, but now that I am not doing that anymore, I can get back to being me.
    Of course some of the weddings and other things I do are very casual and some are really great and don’t mind if I wear a dress or whatever I want. Those are kind of rare, but they do happen. I am hoping to eventually have enough business coming in that when I transform to full time female I will be able to afford the loss of business I know will happen and still be able to sustain from the business I get from people who support my female side.
    As more states are slowly allowing same sex marriages, I am waitingfor that to happen in my state because I know that once it is legal here, then my business will not only be booming, but I will have a flood of business from people who will not only allow, but encourage and support me working their wedding as the girl I really am.

  3. dee says:

    I dress fem daily not only wearing pantyhose or thigh high stockings and garter belt daily – I also almost daily wear fem jeans- polo top (short and long sleeve)- womens new balance foot wear. I also get full body waxing Tri monthly (now hair is thinner, finer or just not growing), I get feminine waxing and facial treatments, use Aveeno and or Nutragina feminine skin product. I get manicures weekly and pedicures 2x a month

  4. Sandy says:

    I all most always have on sexy pair fem panties. I always wear a piece of fem jewerly be it a chain or pendant or ring. It works for me . By the way ladies Fri Feb 5 2010 is national wear red day ( heart ) lov Sandy

  5. Melani says:

    I bake cookies, cakes, and cook wonderful meals. I know it may sound sexiest but because growing up my Mom did this , as a child I associated cooking and baking as a feminine thing to do. So for most of my life I have used cooking as a way to supplement my desire to dress when I am unable to. I also under dress and use feminine gestures and movements.I have a pre bed ritual of moisturizing and even use clear nail polish on my toes at all times. But mostly I just try to look at the world blending my masculine and feminine side, this way I can freely interact with others and I am comfortable and complete. No one has seems to notice.

  6. Gabrielle says:

    An interesting topic, Vanessa. There is such diversity among crossdressers. It pains me to no end how such a diverse group of people are so often lumped together into a single category by non-tg folk.

    This one question is a great example of our diversity. In my case, the masculine and feminine do not overlap for the most part. They’re kept very separate. It’s all or nothing. Whatever side I am presenting, it’s always me, however it is the feminine end of things where I exist at the core. My man-side (presentation of masculine behavior) is mostly something I learned in order to survive and fit in. This (typed communication) is the closest I come to crossing “sides”. In guy mode, I can communicate as Gabrielle, and can do the opposite as Gabrielle. Physically, however, there is no mixing the two.

  7. Sally says:

    Stealth mode… not really. I have always got a bright color polish on my toenails. I have clean, smooth arms and hands… I wear stort sleeved shirts (uniform, work provided) for both of my jobs. My finger nails are shaped and can vary from short to about 5mm (1/4″) long… I am a personal care worker and work at a petrol station, very much in the publics view. No one has commented on any of these. And I dont see the need to have answers, just in case. Its me and thats how I appear… LOL

  8. Patti says:

    Really interesting topic…

    And it has me asking the question – Are our behaviors learned or inherited?

    All through our lives, we are taught how to behave by what sex we were born as. Men act masculine and women act feminine. We’re told that boys do not play with dolls, boys don’t cry, boys don’t wear girls clothes, being expected to be the provider and much more.

    If we feel differently than those norms of societal expectation, we are deemed by society as deviant and perverse miscreants. However, we do what we have to do in order to survive, especially when we are in school. College, on the other hand, lets us open ourselves up due to the liberalness of how college culture is that we were not afforded before and allows us to explore ourselves in a non-threatening atmosphere.

    Most of us, either due to family or society, usually tend to go stealth with family and friends out of fear of what they will think of us. We go stealth with them out of fear that they will abandon us after leaving ourselves open and vulnerable. For that reason, we choose to be stealth.

    There are some situations in which I will be en femme and others that I absolutely just cannot be en femme and must be entirely stealth. My wife’s family, and even the church we go to, there is absolutely no possibility of me remotely being en femme. So, out of respect for them, I choose to remain stealth. But, I would still love to go to church in a conservative outfit where I am comfortable so I can just be myself.

    If we are around most of my family, they could careless what I wear and probably would compliment me on my outfit that I am wearing.

    Unless we are alone in our lives, no significant other, a very small family, only a couple of friends, and an employer who doesn’t care what we wear would we truly be able to be ourselves.

    I have to make a conscientious choice to be one or the other, or just down the middle into androgyny, neither femme or masculine.

    I am one of the lucky ones… I have androgynous features. I look good both as male and female. My adams apple does not show, my hands aren’t dainty, but not large either, I can change my voice on a whim from male to female and back again without batting an eye.

    En Femme or Stealth? I choose when the situation calls for one or the other.

  9. darla says:

    The way I dress is to wear wemen’s jeans. Rider by Lee fits me perfectly. “Misses size 14″ is the size I wear for work & size 12 when I want to look sexy. As for bras well I’m not that big yet even though I’m doing hormones so I tend to ware one that fits me (AA) that way it is not that noticisable .

    • Ragina says:

      I am always underdressed. I haven’t owned male underwear for at least 5 or 6 years. The only exception was when I had weekend drill, and even then I would wear panties under my uniformwhen I could get away with it. Other than that, it’s always panties, and very often pantyhose as well. Of course, I always keep my toenails polished and recently have taken to wearing a bit of make-up as well. Thanks to my loving wife, who is willing to help and teach me whenever I have a question or a problem with what to wear, I can be femme and still be able to get around in the male world when I need to.

  10. So glad to come back to this post late now that you have such a good range of terrific comments. I am with Lynn very much on this. With time I find less cleavage (no pun, really, not me) between the person projected when en femme and the person projected when in guy mode.

    Cross dressing has helped me dampen some of the more guy-ish behaviours that I am not comfortable with. I have less of a hang up expressing my natural perspective which seems to be in sympathy with both ends of the gender spectrum, and comfortable keeping a foot in each camp.

    Love the clothes, yes, love the feelings of being en femme, but don’t feel the need to feed the urge with stealth elements when not fully (and fortunately) dressed.

    Thanks for raising the question m’dear.

    Your fan … Petra

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