The Transgender Discrimination Dilemma
I’ve been blessed that a vast majority of the comments and email replies I’ve received for running Crossdresser Heaven have been positive. It’s been so overwhelmingly skewed that I could almost lull myself into believing that the comments on this site represent in some way the attitudes of folks out ‘in the real world’.
Very quickly the scientific part of my brain would kick in and bring up phrases like ‘self-selection’, since you’ll get very few transgender haters surfing the Internet looking for crossdressing websites. The few that do don’t have the best intentions at heart – As a quick word of warning to sisters who run a website, never NEVER publish your address or phone number on your website. This is usually a recipe for disaster.
Sometimes logic and reason isn’t enough to persuade us and we require the passionately hot prodding of an emotional attack to wake us from our fantasy land. This happened for me the other day when I received a comment from a user named psychosausage on my post ‘America’s Top Transgender Model‘. It went like this:
sick. you think its acceptable for our children to grow up thinking this is normal and that freaks should be paraded out on national tv. i hope a bunch of redneck hillbilles catch hold of it and drag it behind a pick up for a few miles…
As you can probably tell this comment isn’t overflowing with love and support. Yet I’ve left it up for a few reasons. First, I’m a strong believer in the a discussion that includes all points of view. Even though we may not agree with the other person they deserve our respect as a fellow human being. I wrote a bit more about this earlier – what does Namaste mean for the crossdresser?
Secondly, I think it’s important that we don’t get lulled into a sense of complacency. I’m passionate that my small piece of the Internet world provides all people in the transgender community support, love and encouragement. An important part of this is the realization that there are those who practice discrimination against the transgendered, and it would be naive to assume otherwise.
Finally, I believe that one cannot defeat hate and intolerance with more hate and intolerance. Hiding the hate under a rug might calm it for a little while, but many times it continues to mutate and thrive like a fungus rejoicing in darkness, far from the light.
To my reader’s comment now. Thank you for giving me the honor of your attention, for taking the time to share your thoughts with your fellow human being. I’m disappointed with the viciousness in your violent proposal. I do think that it is interesting to consider the affect that societal acceptance of those in the LGBT community will have.
Collectively as a society this poses good questions, and I can appreciate the fear that children who would otherwise have grown into “normal” heterosexual cisgendered people become something they are not because the option is available to them. It is also interesting to ponder the affect that this choice has on the individual so eloquently described by Barry Schwartz in his talk The Paradox of Choice. If we can truly be whoever we want, the choice of figuring out who we are becomes much more difficult. I’ve spent a significant portion of my life grappling with my transgendered nature, trying to define (or discover?) who I am. It would be easier intellectually, though more painful emotionally, to hold fast to the belief that any deviation from the normal is a sin and something to repent from.
What do you think of transgender discrimination? Do you think the fears I mention are well founded, or just another tool of intolerance meant to subjegate our lives to another’s limited scope of acceptance?
I’ve gone out in femme off and on for the last couple of year ,but mostly only to clubs or bars that I know are TG friendly, but sometimes I’ll push it to a grocery store or gas station.
Luckily, I’ve never had any major bad experiences. Only once ever has anyone openly said anything directly rude to me and it was “nice tits dude” from some drunk guy at a pool hall. Putting that into retrospec, only hearing 1 rude comment out of 100+ trips in public en femme is actually an amazingly low rate. I say that based on the fact that in my normal “guy mode” day to day live I’ve heard countless rude comments. Just people being pricks and mouthing off for no reason.
Of course there’s the stares and noticeable double-takes from people, but I don’t take that personal. I’m aware crossdressers are rare and most people want to get a good look at something they rarely, if ever see, when they get a chance. I have a friend who’s a midget (he’s 3’6″) and me being dressed in public is nothing compared to what he deals with 24/7. Anytime we go out he’s a pure focal point of nearly place we go. I’ve first hand seen people literally freak out from having a phobia of midgets and make a seen trying to get away from him. He’s actually helped me alot in teaching me the art of just ignoring people staring at you for being different.
iv lost 2 jobs in the last 4 years..i live in connecticut..iv fond that this state is nothing but a swamp of hate…i love the fact that most women can crossdress wearing mens clothes hats tshirts even underwear…no one bats an eyelash..yes im angy..and sooo deeply sick of women geting ..and liveing a privlige..while men are scrond booood..laugh at..this makes me deeply hurt.. and frustraited…this is the real truth people …women are so lucky..we are losers and freaks..and just plane hated…we must fight..and fight hard…thats all people
Sorry to hear of your experience hon. “Swamp of hate” is a very descriptive phrase that, unfortunately, applies in too many places. Dear, I hope you find acceptance, or failing that at least tolerance and a fair shot. There are many places in the country which display the acceptance (generally in the West and North East) so if you’re up for some Seattle rain or Cali sunshine I can recommend those as trans friendly places
It wasnt that long ago that I recieve an email from a “Catholic Lesbial”. The email spouted the line that is familiar to all transsexuals, “God doesnt make mistakes, why cant you be happy the way he made you.” this line seems to be only used on those who are gender varient.
I responded with a much longer email, meeting ignorance with information, idiocy with intelligence, blind rhetoric with fact and hate with love. I tried to explain the reasons for doing what I had to do, and tried to help her see that there was nothing wrong with it.
Sadly the email didn’ help but I did what I coud.
Of corse people think i'm male at birth it's a it's a discrace to man kind to dress oppisite that i born as remember that's the religious belief right now i feel the catholics are sensetive about this whole thing, some other are the same. well i don't caqre what those people i like living as a woman.