Comments on: I married a cross dresser http://www.crossdresserheaven.com/i-married-a-cross-dresser/ Fashion, makeup and body movement tips for crossdressers who want to look and feel more feminine Fri, 10 Feb 2012 19:04:13 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Sharon http://www.crossdresserheaven.com/i-married-a-cross-dresser/comment-page-7/#comment-8325 Sharon Mon, 16 Jan 2012 21:06:22 +0000 http://cdhtest.dreamhosters.com/i-married-a-cross-dresser/#comment-8325 Dear Aubre, There can be a happy ending.) I felt very simliar when my husband 1st told me a few years after we married. I “allowed” it for a while and then gave him the ultimatum…CD or me. He chose me and I fully believed he had quit. 2 children, post-pardum depression, & a very rocky patch followed. Then we got our relationship back on track. It was perfect until the night he told me he was still dressing. This was 1 year ago. I didn’t react to what he told me, so he thought it was ok. I was devastated and felt completely betrayed and trapped. I began intense CD research to understand why he would risk his family and possibly his career for this. I asked myself some very hard questions. I wrote down my feelings & questions for my husband. Then, I started the conversation that would forever change our marriage. I could not talk to him in person, so I waited until he went on a business trip. I began the conversation, by telling him not to talk and I would ask questions at the end. (I did not want any interruptions that would steer me away from my points.) I felt some better just telling him how I felt. The I began questioning him. I asked the questions that I didn’t want the answers to (but I had to know the truth) and I got some unsettling answers. But…I got the truth. Then I let him talk uninterrupted and I LISTENED. For the 1st time, I listened without forming bias while he talked, & without thinking of what I was going to say next. When it was all done, I could not wait for him to get home so I could give him the biggest hug ever. I didn’t accept the CD, but I was willing to learn more and to create boundaries. I researched more and kept asking questions. He wanted to purge his stuff again, but I told him not to. I knew he’d just buy more eventually. I’m glad that he didn’t because for his birthday, I decided to ask him to dress. We stayed at home and I got very drunk. Amazing, we had a great time. He opened up more and the conversation never stopped. 8 hours seemed like 30 minutes. Oh, I dressed up nice for him and that made it more fun too. So now, we do this on occasion and he dresses when he goes on trips. I think I’ve benefited from his CD greatly because I’m more accepting of people for who they are. I am less judgemental and criticle of others. The end result is that I’m a much happier person and our marriage is stronger than ever. So why is your husband not telling you the truth about dressing? Your answer is in your statement “I didn’t want to touch him.” Even though my husband knows that I truly accept his dressing, he still worries that I may change my mind. Why? Because I was so against it in the past. Will he change? Research says no. But do you really want him to? You fell in love with him for who he is and CD is a part of what has made him who he is. To remove that will change him into someone you do not know. one more thing, I was against CD because “it was not normal”. I changed my own mind when I asked myself, “who defines normal? And why is normal so important?” Some of the greatest ideas and greatest people have been anything but normal. I wish you the best of luck in sorting though your feelings and relationship. Oh- sorry for the book; I’m a bit long-winded! Dear Aubre,
There can be a happy ending.) I felt very simliar when my husband 1st told me a few years after we married. I “allowed” it for a while and then gave him the ultimatum…CD or me. He chose me and I fully believed he had quit. 2 children, post-pardum depression, & a very rocky patch followed. Then we got our relationship back on track. It was perfect until the night he told me he was still dressing. This was 1 year ago. I didn’t react to what he told me, so he thought it was ok. I was devastated and felt completely betrayed and trapped. I began intense CD research to understand why he would risk his family and possibly his career for this. I asked myself some very hard questions. I wrote down my feelings & questions for my husband. Then, I started the conversation that would forever change our marriage. I could not talk to him in person, so I waited until he went on a business trip. I began the conversation, by telling him not to talk and I would ask questions at the end. (I did not want any interruptions that would steer me away from my points.) I felt some better just telling him how I felt. The I began questioning him. I asked the questions that I didn’t want the answers to (but I had to know the truth) and I got some unsettling answers. But…I got the truth. Then I let him talk uninterrupted and I LISTENED. For the 1st time, I listened without forming bias while he talked, & without thinking of what I was going to say next. When it was all done, I could not wait for him to get home so I could give him the biggest hug ever. I didn’t accept the CD, but I was willing to learn more and to create boundaries. I researched more and kept asking questions. He wanted to purge his stuff again, but I told him not to. I knew he’d just buy more eventually. I’m glad that he didn’t because for his birthday, I decided to ask him to dress. We stayed at home and I got very drunk. Amazing, we had a great time. He opened up more and the conversation never stopped. 8 hours seemed like 30 minutes. Oh, I dressed up nice for him and that made it more fun too. So now, we do this on occasion and he dresses when he goes on trips. I think I’ve benefited from his CD greatly because I’m more accepting of people for who they are. I am less judgemental and criticle of others. The end result is that I’m a much happier person and our marriage is stronger than ever.

So why is your husband not telling you the truth about dressing? Your answer is in your statement “I didn’t want to touch him.” Even though my husband knows that I truly accept his dressing, he still worries that I may change my mind. Why? Because I was so against it in the past.

Will he change? Research says no. But do you really want him to? You fell in love with him for who he is and CD is a part of what has made him who he is. To remove that will change him into someone you do not know.

one more thing, I was against CD because “it was not normal”. I changed my own mind when I asked myself, “who defines normal? And why is normal so important?” Some of the greatest ideas and greatest people have been anything but normal. I wish you the best of luck in sorting though your feelings and relationship. Oh- sorry for the book; I’m a bit long-winded!

]]> By: D http://www.crossdresserheaven.com/i-married-a-cross-dresser/comment-page-2/#comment-8256 D Fri, 13 Jan 2012 20:31:14 +0000 http://cdhtest.dreamhosters.com/i-married-a-cross-dresser/#comment-8256 If it turned you on then tell him it turned you on. If he doesn't really like doing it you will find out. If he does like doing it you will find out. If he does like it and it turns you on . . . do I really need to go any further? Have as much fun as you can. Let him have as much fun as he can. If it turned you on then tell him it turned you on. If he doesn’t really like doing it you will find out. If he does like doing it you will find out. If he does like it and it turns you on . . . do I really need to go any further?

Have as much fun as you can. Let him have as much fun as he can.

]]> By: Vanessa Law http://www.crossdresserheaven.com/i-married-a-cross-dresser/comment-page-7/#comment-8037 Vanessa Law Thu, 05 Jan 2012 03:47:37 +0000 http://cdhtest.dreamhosters.com/i-married-a-cross-dresser/#comment-8037 Hey sweetie, take a look at http://www.crossdresserheaven.com/about/crossdresser-support-groups/ - there are support groups listed around the country. Hopefully you'll find one close to where you live. Blessings Vanessa Hey sweetie, take a look at http://www.crossdresserheaven.com/about/crossdresser-support-groups/ – there are support groups listed around the country. Hopefully you’ll find one close to where you live.

Blessings
Vanessa

]]> By: Debra http://www.crossdresserheaven.com/i-married-a-cross-dresser/comment-page-7/#comment-7981 Debra Mon, 02 Jan 2012 15:22:53 +0000 http://cdhtest.dreamhosters.com/i-married-a-cross-dresser/#comment-7981 Hi Mandee, My husband had been acting differently for about 2 months. He seemd more irratable & unfocused alot. I asked him what was going on and he said he didn't know. He'd just lost 55 lbs. over a 5 month time frame as a result of finding out he was a fullblown diabetic. He also was dealing with an almost nonexistant amount of testosterone in his body (& getting low does injections to regulate that)as well as dealing with ED. (& now having to take Viagra) However our sex life became nonexistant for 6 months. He was withdrawn and moodier then usual. I just chalked it up to so many changes in his body. Then he started "disappearing" and wouldn't answer my texts or phone calls saying he didn't hear his phone ring etc. He'd tellme he's be home at a certain time and show up hours later which was very unlike him. We've been together 6 years, married for 4 of those. Finally last week he told me he was safe but we'd have to talk when he got home. He walked in the house in full woman's dress. I was shocked & yet at the same time wasn't. I didn't like looking at him dressed as a woman but the wig & lipstick was the worst for me. I calmly asked him to take off the wig & he did. He then sat down & we had a calm conversation. I then went to bed & he thought "wow, this is great. She accepts me and now life can go on as usual". He came to bed wearing garters, hose, boobs & a nighty. I wanted to cry & run away. But I didn't. I love my husband & I want to stay married but with guidlines. He knows that. I'm not interested in seeing him prance around the house as a woman whenever he's home.He's agreed to counseling, not to change but for both of us to learn how to manage this way of living. I don't want him sneeking off to be with other CD or going to bars to get approval. I worry about it escalating into something bigger and at 57 yrs. old I'm not willing to throw the rest of my life away "settling". I want to know I can trust him. I don't want lies & deceit. I know CD doesn't "stop" & I accept that. I can't accept seeing my husband dressed as a woman though.He told me the weight loss kind of spured it on again. He felt good about how he looked & I can understand that. But I'm not comfortable watching transvestite porn or anything like that. I want my husband to be turned on by me which he says he is. I guess I'm afraid one day it won't be enough for him. He says he's bisexual. Anyway, that's my story for now. Hi Mandee,
My husband had been acting differently for about 2 months. He seemd more irratable & unfocused alot. I asked him what was going on and he said he didn’t know. He’d just lost 55 lbs. over a 5 month time frame as a result of finding out he was a fullblown diabetic. He also was dealing with an almost nonexistant amount of testosterone in his body (& getting low does injections to regulate that)as well as dealing with ED. (& now having to take Viagra) However our sex life became nonexistant for 6 months. He was withdrawn and moodier then usual. I just chalked it up to so many changes in his body. Then he started “disappearing” and wouldn’t answer my texts or phone calls saying he didn’t hear his phone ring etc. He’d tellme he’s be home at a certain time and show up hours later which was very unlike him. We’ve been together 6 years, married for 4 of those. Finally last week he told me he was safe but we’d have to talk when he got home. He walked in the house in full woman’s dress. I was shocked & yet at the same time wasn’t. I didn’t like looking at him dressed as a woman but the wig & lipstick was the worst for me. I calmly asked him to take off the wig & he did. He then sat down & we had a calm conversation. I then went to bed & he thought “wow, this is great. She accepts me and now life can go on as usual”. He came to bed wearing garters, hose, boobs & a nighty. I wanted to cry & run away. But I didn’t. I love my husband & I want to stay married but with guidlines. He knows that. I’m not interested in seeing him prance around the house as a woman whenever he’s home.He’s agreed to counseling, not to change but for both of us to learn how to manage this way of living. I don’t want him sneeking off to be with other CD or going to bars to get approval. I worry about it escalating into something bigger and at 57 yrs. old I’m not willing to throw the rest of my life away “settling”. I want to know I can trust him. I don’t want lies & deceit. I know CD doesn’t “stop” & I accept that. I can’t accept seeing my husband dressed as a woman though.He told me the weight loss kind of spured it on again. He felt good about how he looked & I can understand that. But I’m not comfortable watching transvestite porn or anything like that. I want my husband to be turned on by me which he says he is. I guess I’m afraid one day it won’t be enough for him. He says he’s bisexual. Anyway, that’s my story for now.

]]> By: lorna http://www.crossdresserheaven.com/i-married-a-cross-dresser/comment-page-7/#comment-7844 lorna Sun, 25 Dec 2011 20:59:05 +0000 http://cdhtest.dreamhosters.com/i-married-a-cross-dresser/#comment-7844 I have just leant that my husband likes 2 dress up in womans cloths it is hard 4 me 2 understand and he has people he can talk 2 but i havent got any 1 i cant tell friends or family about it i love him so much and im really scared and would like sum help would like 2 talk 2 people in the same boat but dont know were 2 go or who 2 go 2 I have just leant that my husband likes 2 dress up in womans cloths it is hard 4 me 2 understand and he has people he can talk 2 but i havent got any 1 i cant tell friends or family about it i love him so much and im really scared and would like sum help would like 2 talk 2 people in the same boat but dont know were 2 go or who 2 go 2

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