Comments on: I married a cross dresser http://www.crossdresserheaven.com/i-married-a-cross-dresser/ Crossdresser Heaven offers fashion, makeup and body movement tips for crossdressers who want to look and feel more feminine. Transgender news and issues are also discussed, along with Christianity and crossdressing. Thu, 08 Jan 2009 17:57:55 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc hourly 1 By: Vanessa Law http://www.crossdresserheaven.com/i-married-a-cross-dresser/comment-page-1/#comment-785 Vanessa Law Sun, 28 Dec 2008 23:33:35 +0000 http://cdhtest.dreamhosters.com/i-married-a-cross-dresser/#comment-785 Maria, Thank you for your note. I know that this is a scary and confusing time, and you have a right to feel angry at him for not telling you before you're married. It sounds like you're laying some of the blame, emotionally, on yourself for not accepting him. It also sounds like you're more frustrated that he won't listen to your concerns about CDing than with him actually being crossdressed when you get home. Him being crossdressed when you get home can be bad enough, but you may feel you've already told him not to, so he's crossdressing and disrespecting you. The best advice I can give is to communicate and search for balance. I've struggled to do this myself in my marriage - I would crossdress 3-4 times a week if I could, and my wife would have me never crossdress. Somewhere in between there it's worth establishing boundaries that allow us both to feel validated and respected. As in any other area of marriage, whether it's finances or who gets to choose the TV show to watch, reaching a compromise that works for both of you can make things go a lot smoother. Love, please let me know if there is anything else I can do to help you two. Best of luck! Maria,

Thank you for your note. I know that this is a scary and confusing time, and you have a right to feel angry at him for not telling you before you’re married.
It sounds like you’re laying some of the blame, emotionally, on yourself for not accepting him. It also sounds like you’re more frustrated that he won’t listen to your concerns about CDing than with him actually being crossdressed when you get home. Him being crossdressed when you get home can be bad enough, but you may feel you’ve already told him not to, so he’s crossdressing and disrespecting you.

The best advice I can give is to communicate and search for balance. I’ve struggled to do this myself in my marriage - I would crossdress 3-4 times a week if I could, and my wife would have me never crossdress. Somewhere in between there it’s worth establishing boundaries that allow us both to feel validated and respected. As in any other area of marriage, whether it’s finances or who gets to choose the TV show to watch, reaching a compromise that works for both of you can make things go a lot smoother.

Love, please let me know if there is anything else I can do to help you two. Best of luck!

]]> By: Vanessa Law http://www.crossdresserheaven.com/i-married-a-cross-dresser/comment-page-1/#comment-781 Vanessa Law Sun, 28 Dec 2008 23:20:28 +0000 http://cdhtest.dreamhosters.com/i-married-a-cross-dresser/#comment-781 Hi Dipankar, Thanks for stopping by - it's great to have you on Crossdresser Heaven. What's it like in India? Is crossdressing taboo, or more accepted? I've read a few articles about the transgendered in India, but haven't spoken with many crossdressers from India. Hi Dipankar,
Thanks for stopping by - it’s great to have you on Crossdresser Heaven. What’s it like in India? Is crossdressing taboo, or more accepted? I’ve read a few articles about the transgendered in India, but haven’t spoken with many crossdressers from India.

]]> By: Dipankar http://www.crossdresserheaven.com/i-married-a-cross-dresser/comment-page-1/#comment-748 Dipankar Tue, 23 Dec 2008 13:42:53 +0000 http://cdhtest.dreamhosters.com/i-married-a-cross-dresser/#comment-748 I'm from India. I'm very young. 18 years and I find crossdressing very exciting and erotic. I’m from India. I’m very young. 18 years and I find crossdressing very exciting and erotic.

]]> By: Crossdressing Christmas Wish List | Crossdresser Heaven http://www.crossdresserheaven.com/i-married-a-cross-dresser/comment-page-1/#comment-744 Crossdressing Christmas Wish List | Crossdresser Heaven Sun, 21 Dec 2008 14:32:24 +0000 http://cdhtest.dreamhosters.com/i-married-a-cross-dresser/#comment-744 [...] of mine. She’s even helped review a few articles for Crossdresser Heaven such as ‘I married a crossdresser‘, though I’m still working on her to write an [...] [...] of mine. She’s even helped review a few articles for Crossdresser Heaven such as ‘I married a crossdresser‘, though I’m still working on her to write an [...]

]]> By: Maria Mazzeli http://www.crossdresserheaven.com/i-married-a-cross-dresser/comment-page-1/#comment-706 Maria Mazzeli Tue, 09 Dec 2008 05:27:48 +0000 http://cdhtest.dreamhosters.com/i-married-a-cross-dresser/#comment-706 Dear Vanessa I am marry to a Crossdresser and this is very difficult for me to accept. He never told me he was a CD. Before we were married i found him one night dressed up and i was very confused and furious. I thought with time this would change. I love him very much, but his CD takes over and he never knows when to stop. I am very tired that every night when i come home i find him on CD, i have told him many times that i wished that he would respect the fact that i am home and he would do this when he is on his own. I am very confused because i feel humiliated but he doesn't seem to understand. His CD takes over and he makes it be more important than anything else. I do not what to do. I know that every night he kills what is left of me and i am tired that i always get angry. I need to know if i will ever learn to accept his CD. Dear Vanessa
I am marry to a Crossdresser and this is very difficult for me to accept. He never told me he was a CD. Before we were married i found him one night dressed up and i was very confused and furious. I thought with time this would change.

I love him very much, but his CD takes over and he never knows when to stop. I am very tired that every night when i come home i find him on CD, i have told him many times that i wished that he would respect the fact that i am home and he would do this when he is on his own.

I am very confused because i feel humiliated but he doesn’t seem to understand. His CD takes over and he makes it be more important than anything else.

I do not what to do. I know that every night he kills what is left of me and i am tired that i always get angry.

I need to know if i will ever learn to accept his CD.

]]> By: Vanessa Law http://www.crossdresserheaven.com/i-married-a-cross-dresser/comment-page-1/#comment-596 Vanessa Law Thu, 13 Nov 2008 05:53:59 +0000 http://cdhtest.dreamhosters.com/i-married-a-cross-dresser/#comment-596 Thanks for sharing Elaine, your story is one of hope for many crossdressers. It's wonderful that you have such a positive and supportive relationship with your spouse, and that you've been able to integrate your crossdressing into your marriage in a way that both of you can enjoy. Thanks for sharing Elaine, your story is one of hope for many crossdressers. It’s wonderful that you have such a positive and supportive relationship with your spouse, and that you’ve been able to integrate your crossdressing into your marriage in a way that both of you can enjoy.

]]> By: Elaine http://www.crossdresserheaven.com/i-married-a-cross-dresser/comment-page-1/#comment-573 Elaine Sat, 08 Nov 2008 15:05:22 +0000 http://cdhtest.dreamhosters.com/i-married-a-cross-dresser/#comment-573 Hi Vanessa Thought i would tell you our story. I told my wife(M) when i first met her, before we had even thought of getting married or even engaged. It was a slow process at first as i introduced her to Elaine and my 'extended' wardrobe, which i believe ultimately helped her deal with any concerns. As time went on i became more confident with who i was and i can only put this down to M! as she gradually changed my wardrobe and made me look younger and more stylish in the process. We have great fun when we go shopping for both of us whether i am Elaine or not and we love going to events when we are able. We have a great marriage(now in our 12th year) and 2 wonderful girls to boot. I love my wife and am truly blessed to have her in not only my life but my heart, thoughts and actions every single day. Elaine Hi Vanessa
Thought i would tell you our story. I told my wife(M) when i first met her, before we had even thought of getting married or even engaged.
It was a slow process at first as i introduced her to Elaine and my ‘extended’ wardrobe, which i believe ultimately helped her deal with any concerns.
As time went on i became more confident with who i was and i can only put this down to M! as she gradually changed my wardrobe and made me look younger and more stylish in the process.
We have great fun when we go shopping for both of us whether i am Elaine or not and we love going to events when we are able.
We have a great marriage(now in our 12th year) and 2 wonderful girls to boot. I love my wife and am truly blessed to have her in not only my life but my heart, thoughts and actions every single day.
Elaine

]]> By: Vanessa Law http://www.crossdresserheaven.com/i-married-a-cross-dresser/comment-page-1/#comment-510 Vanessa Law Mon, 27 Oct 2008 15:42:10 +0000 http://cdhtest.dreamhosters.com/i-married-a-cross-dresser/#comment-510 Hi Gaia, First, thank you for being so accepting and loving of your husband. It's wonderful that you find it fantastic! Before I get into your question I think this is a great time to do some research - Peggy Rudd's book above as well as the book "My Husband Betty" - http://www.crossdresserheaven.com/best-cross-dressing-book-my-husband-betty/ are both good resources. To being part of the thrill, can you give me some more context? For me personally I enjoy looking as good as I can, and attention I appreciate would be the same as any woman who had dressed nicely and was complimented on it. I can only speak for myself, but attention from other women on how I'm dressed or presented is far more of a thrill than attention from men. And I think this is true for most crossdressers I know. This may be a great place to continue the open and honest communication with your husband, share your concerns (and you support) with him. He also has a responsibility to be forthcoming now that he has told you. Best wishes hon, please write again if you need more support, advice or just someone to listen. Hugs, Vanessa Hi Gaia,
First, thank you for being so accepting and loving of your husband. It’s wonderful that you find it fantastic! Before I get into your question I think this is a great time to do some research - Peggy Rudd’s book above as well as the book “My Husband Betty” - http://www.crossdresserheaven.com/best-cross-dressing-book-my-husband-betty/ are both good resources.

To being part of the thrill, can you give me some more context? For me personally I enjoy looking as good as I can, and attention I appreciate would be the same as any woman who had dressed nicely and was complimented on it. I can only speak for myself, but attention from other women on how I’m dressed or presented is far more of a thrill than attention from men. And I think this is true for most crossdressers I know.

This may be a great place to continue the open and honest communication with your husband, share your concerns (and you support) with him. He also has a responsibility to be forthcoming now that he has told you.

Best wishes hon, please write again if you need more support, advice or just someone to listen.

Hugs,
Vanessa

]]> By: Gaia http://www.crossdresserheaven.com/i-married-a-cross-dresser/comment-page-1/#comment-502 Gaia Sun, 26 Oct 2008 17:37:14 +0000 http://cdhtest.dreamhosters.com/i-married-a-cross-dresser/#comment-502 Hi Vanessa~ My question is this, in a nutshell, he told me lastnight...I find it fantastic and have no issues with it....but, he said something that really boggles my mind and I can't find any answers..I asked him if he would like me to shop for him for some welcome home gifts and he said yes...tops and bottoms..*trying to be discreet here*, he also said that was part of "the thrill, the attention"..what does that mean? Attention from who? Men, women, other CD's, people in general? I am struggling with ths, because I don't want a bombshell later if you know what I mean..can you help me? Thank you.. Gaia Hi Vanessa~
My question is this, in a nutshell, he told me lastnight…I find it fantastic and have no issues with it….but, he said something that really boggles my mind and I can’t find any answers..I asked him if he would like me to shop for him for some welcome home gifts and he said yes…tops and bottoms..*trying to be discreet here*, he also said that was part of “the thrill, the attention”..what does that mean? Attention from who? Men, women, other CD’s, people in general? I am struggling with ths, because I don’t want a bombshell later if you know what I mean..can you help me?
Thank you..
Gaia

]]> By: Zeljka http://www.crossdresserheaven.com/i-married-a-cross-dresser/comment-page-1/#comment-459 Zeljka Mon, 20 Oct 2008 22:04:03 +0000 http://cdhtest.dreamhosters.com/i-married-a-cross-dresser/#comment-459 Well, I am in a difficult position, my Wife doesn't know yet and on the other side I'm afraid to tell Her because it seems to me that She wouldn't like the news. Of course, when I'm home alone I use Her's nylons and garters (which I bought for Her 'cos I told Her I like it madly - but I never told Her I like to wear it also :) her shoes (with a little of pain because these are smaller) and I dream about She and I going out at the evening and me wearing her pantyhose under my trousers and only She and I would know it. This situation, I mean, only a thought about it turns me on. But I'm afraid it will never happen becuse I don't know how to tell Her. HELP PLEASE! Well, I am in a difficult position, my Wife doesn’t know yet and on the other side I’m afraid to tell Her because it seems to me that She wouldn’t like the news. Of course, when I’m home alone I use Her’s nylons and garters (which I bought for Her ‘cos I told Her I like it madly - but I never told Her I like to wear it also :) her shoes (with a little of pain because these are smaller) and I dream about She and I going out at the evening and me wearing her pantyhose under my trousers and only She and I would know it. This situation, I mean, only a thought about it turns me on. But I’m afraid it will never happen becuse I don’t know how to tell Her.
HELP PLEASE!

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