Why Does My Wig Keep Falling Off?
I love long, flowing sensuous hair - there are few things that make me look or feel more feminine, and few things I enjoy more than spending an hour or two in the salon. I used to wear my hair long, but as with any marriage compromises are agreed upon. In my case I agreed to wear a wig instead and cut my hair short after my wife expressed her (quite vigorous) dislike for my long hair. It was a sacrifice I made out of love, though part of me was looking forward to the plethora of styles and lengths that would become available to me overnight. I could also be a bit more adventurous in my choice of style, as I had made a (somewhat half-hearted) effort to avoid too much suspicion in male mode. Feminine face-framing bangs (fringe for those across the Atlantic) were now available to me - oh joy!
Crossdressing with a Wig
What I didn’t bargain for is the hereto forth unknown fear of falling off. This dreaded disease is caused by a gnawing fear that your wig is going to fall off. Symptoms include an obsession with keeping your hair far away from anything it could catch in, a reluctance to experiment too much with the hairbrush and a near constant maneuver I call ‘check the hair is still there’. So my journey begins to find out how to keep my hair on my head.
I found a few articles on the Internet such as how to wear a wig and crossdresser wig care.
The first step is to find a style that you like, and that suits your face. Ideally you would do this in person to get a look that works, but if you’re still not comfortable trying on a wig in public many websites have good return policies. Reputable stores such as Amazon have a large wig selection that is worth looking at as well.
Wig Styles
Gorgeous Wavy Curls
Medium length flirty wig
Long straight hair is feminine
How To Wear a Wig
- Choose a wig that fits. Many wigs have straps that can be adjusted to achieve a better fit, just make sure there isn’t too much space left inside the wig that will leave a bubble.
- Wear a wig cap if you don’t want your hair to show through, or blend your hair together with your wig for a more natural look
- Center the wig on your head before putting it on. Many wigs have a parting or some indication of the center.
- Put the wig on by pulling it over your head and then pulling the back of the wig down to secure it
- Make sure the front of the wig aligns with your hairline and that the wig is snug on your head
- Secure the wig with bobby pins to ensure your hair doesn’t escape
And viola! There you have it. If you’ve put the wig on correctly it should both look and feel natural, and you shouldn’t be worried about it falling off (at least not most of the time). This takes a lot of practice, I still struggle with wearing a wig, but the more I wear it the easier it gets.
Tips For Securing Your Wig
Bobby pins are your friend, as this video shows.
Share Your Wig Secrets!
Do you have any tips to share on how to wear a wig? How to find one that looks natural, or the best way to keep the wig from flying away? Comment and let us know.
A Crossdressing Look Back at 2008
The new year is almost upon us. It’s cliched, I know, but it seems as though just the other day we were ushering in 2008. Which proved to be a very interesting year for society. The economy drove off a cliff and doesn’t seem to have hit the rocks at the bottom yet. A black man was elected president of the USA, and a transgendered girl competed on America’s Next Top Model. Though the latter is perhaps less remarkable in light of the first two events I was overjoyed to see the transgendered community take such a bold step towards acceptance.
Californian voters decided to take away the rights of gay people, transgender discrimination was deemed illegal (at least in this particular case) and Thailand got transgender bathrooms. Much ado was made about a hospital offering sex changes to boys as young as 7 (though again the headline is perhaps more sensational than reality), a man got pregnant and India welcomed their first transgendered star.
It’s been a busy year. Comment and tell me what has stuck out the most for you in the transgender news for 2008.
Personally, I’ve made quite a few breakthroughs in my journey through gender dysphoria. I started Crossdresser Heaven earlier in the year which has provided me much joy - both at expressing what I think and feel, and in helping others who are searching for answers. Your notes and comments have warmed my heart.
My wife and I have had (more than) a few discussions about my transgendered nature and despite all the sometimes heated words we’re still married and in love 
I’ve gone for a few more laser hair removal treatments (thrilled with the results so far!), found the joy in mineral makeup and slowly begun rebuilding my feminine warddrobe after my purge a few years ago.
I got a transgender makeover in a mall for the first time, took full advantage of the crossdressing opportunities at Halloween time and had a long chat about nothing in particular with the saleswoman helping me find a nice pair of woman’s yoga shorts. I’ve made some wonderful new friends online, and in general have felt greatly blessed with 2008.
It’s been a busy year. Comment and let me know how you’ve faired on your transgender journey in 2008.
I look forward to 2009 - a year full of hope and promise.
Happy New Year!
A Transgender Rose, by any other name
A Transgender Rose By Any Other Name...
A label is such a funny thing. It can provide an identity, lend legitimacy to who we are, and create a community . Whether you’re a fan of a sports team, from a certain university or enjoy a particular hobby you have a label. Along with that label you are also granted a set of characteristics common to that group. Even before someone meets you, they already “know” who you are - A skydiver is a daring thrill seeker and a librarian is a stern intellectual. You’re stereotyped, for good or ill, regardless of whether the stereotype is apt.
Given the power of a stereotype, I’m hesitant to categorize those within the transgender community. The gender spectrum is so varied that I would be naive to think that I could provide an adequate description for all points along the spectrum, or even that I had identified the most interesting points. Yet in spite of this, I know that an article attempting to describe the gender spectrum can be a godsend for those who are just beginning their journey in gender diversity. Often, as I was starting out, you feel confused and alone. You may not even be aware that you’re struggling with gender identity.
Am I alone in my love for women’s clothing? Does this mean I’ll get a sex change? Am I gay?
I can’t answer all your questions in one article, or even a full publication - two author’s have tried in excellent books I highly recommend (My Husband Wears My Clothes and My Husband Betty). My goal is to share a few of the terms we use within the transgender community to describe ourselves - and to hear from the veterans what they think and where I may have misspoken.
So with that in mind…
Defining Transgender
Wikipedia has a good article on the transgender definition, but unfortunately I’ve found many other suspect answers on the Internet so be careful who you listen to. There are also some transgender myths you should avoid.
Transgender: Myself (and others) use this term as a broad umbrella term to encompass all people who have feelings of gender dysphoria, from the part time crossdresser to someone who has transitioned. In recent literature on the topic the term “cisgender” has been coined to be the opposite of transgender - where the inner and outer gender identity are consistent.
Crossdresser: A crossdresser is someone who dresses in clothes of the opposite gender for pleasure. This may be sexual or a desire to appear as the other gender (see: why do men crossdress). Many crossdressers I’ve spoken with describe the feeling associated with wearing clothes of the opposite gender as natural and relaxing.
Transsexual: A person who lives as a gender opposite that of their birth gender. They may or may not have had “the operation” to alter their genitals. Pre-op (before the operation), Post-op (after the operation) and no-op (Opting not to have the operation). It is considered quite rude to refer to a transsexual by their birth gender - whether or not they “pass”.
Drag Queen/King: A performer who appears as the opposite gender, typically for theatrical effect, whether dramatic or comedic. It’s a myth that all drag queens are gay.
Intersexed: Someone who is born with ambiguous genitals. More often than not the “mistake of nature” is “fixed” shortly after birth when the doctor or parents choose a gender for the baby. This can result in a lifetime of struggle and shame (see the Intersex Society of North America for more details).
Genderqueer: Defying even the more liberal gender categorizations I’ve provided above, those who identify as gender queer typically break all stereotypes associated with gender and display the gender identity and gender expression they feel most suits them.
Have I missed anyone? Mischaracterized anyone? Let me know, I’m eager for your comments and feedback.
What’s your gender identity?
Loading ...Merry Christmas!
A short post on this Christmas morning, so you can get back to good food, gift giving and merriment.
I wish all of you a blessed Christmas day, with friends, family and loved ones.
May the warmth of those who care for you fill your heart.
May the love you return fill theirs.
May the hard times draw you closer.
May the good times make you laugh.
I pray that you come to know the unsurpassed love of God.
May His acceptance encourage you.
May His discipline correct you.
May His strength aid you, and
May your life shine as a beacon pointing to the eternal one.
Blessings,
Vanessa
Crossdressing Christmas Wish List
What's on Your Crossdresser Christmas List?
Snow has blanketed the ground in a pure white covering, and in just a few days Santa Claus will be hefting his back of goodies from house to house. Bringing joy to children and adults around the world. A few weeks ago I shared my crossdresser Christmas list with you. It was full of material things to bring any crossdresser joy, but I would trade all of those for just one thing. Something that can’t be boxed or wrapped, that you won’t find under the Christmas tree.
For my wife were to fully support, enjoy and participate in my crossdressing experience. This would bring untold joy to my heart.
Now don’t get me wrong, my wife has done her fair share to accept and understand these strange desires of mine. She’s even helped review a few articles for Crossdresser Heaven such as ‘I married a crossdresser‘, though I’m still working on her to write an article
In many ways, I’m extremely blessed that I’m able to talk openly with my wife about this side of my life. We occasionally go shopping together for all three of us, we share in the Halloween merriment of crossdressing and talk about how this affects our relationship.
It must be the nature of the human species to never be satisfied - to always strive for more, to envision a more perfect future. Or perhaps it’s just in my nature to be optimistic, to struggle with the balance between gratitude and ambition.
Whatever the cause, my mind is dazzled with the notion that my wife and I could, at times, experience life as girlfriends. Enjoying each other’s femininity in an emotionally intimate way. Doing things together as two women would, whether mundane or inspired. Sharing, laughing and expressing who we are.
This is the time in the movie when our hero is gently nudged awake, seeing her dream slowly evaporate as the bright sunshine of reality streams through her window. While this would be the ultimate gift for a crossdresser, I know that expecting so much is dangerous. Sometimes when we reach for what is further out we need to let go of what we have. We risk attaining neither and leaving empty handed.
I’m certain that I would not trade my wife’s acceptance and love for a small chance at her full support, enjoyment and participation.
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Learn to express your true femininity in this guide exclusively for crossdressers.
Teresa’s Crossdressing Success Story - The First Pass
Crossdressing Success Stories are real stories from real crossdressers who have overcome some obstacle in life to achieve their own measure of transgender success. Whether it’s sharing your secret with a friend, wearing your first pair of pantyhose, or reaching out for help on the Internet. The crossdressing journey has many joys and these stories are shared to provide hope, encouragement and upliftment to all in the transgender community. If you would like to provide strength to a sister, please go here to share your own crossdressing success story, and I’ll post your story on Crossdresser Heaven within a few weeks.
This story comes from central Alabama. Thanks Teresa for sharing your story with us.
Meet Teresa
I’m middle-aged single white male, heterosexual and live in central Alabama. I have always had the compulsion to cross-dress since I was about 14 ( I just wish I knew where it came from).
Teresa’s Crossdressing Success Story
I dabbled with crossdressing during a 13 year marriage and it was a factor in my divorce 10 years ago. I still
struggle with being a Christian and the compulsion to dress up. About 3 years ago I started dressing again after about 10 years of being “dry”. I did the purge thing a few times but finally decided I’d live out the desire in hope that one day I can be over it.
Anyway, so the last year I have been working hard with clothes and make-up to look “real”. Recently I ended a several year relationship with my girl-friend, so I was no longer having to hide that part of my personality. Last night I got all fixed up and went to the local beauty supply store to see if I “passed” to the girl that was helping me with wigs, makeup, etc. It felt so good to hear her say, “you look great, you look passable for a woman, I thought that was a woman coming in”. Her co-worker gave the same agreement.
I went to Wal-Mart, Office Depot, Ross and got coffee just to walk around. A few men commented on my looks. It felt “unreal” to finally pass as a woman. What a strange and wonderful feeling. I still can’t believe it has finally happened after 36 years. It will be fun to go out more, just hope to find a support group not too far from here to go out with. My daughter accepts me so I will do some thing with her & friends in femme.
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Read more crossdresser success stories, or decide to take the next step and learn how to pass as a woman.
Lynn’s Crossdressing Success Story - Courage and Communication
Crossdressing Success Stories are real stories from real crossdressers who have overcome some obstacle in life to achieve their own measure of transgender success. Whether it’s the first time going out dressed, a major life realization or the first purchase of a feminine delight. The crossdressing journey has many joys and these stories are shared to provide hope, encouragement and upliftment to all in the transgender community. If you would like to provide strength to a sister, please go here to share your own crossdressing success story, and I’ll post your story on Crossdresser Heaven within a few weeks.
Our first story comes all the way from the UK, from a friend I met over the Internet through her thought provoking transgender website - Yet Another T-Girl Blog. Thanks Lynn for being the first to share your story - which I’ve titled ‘Courage and Communication’.
Meet Lynn Jones
My name - or at least my TG name - is Lynn Jones. I live in the UK, the midlands to be precise, and I’m in my mid 30s. I’m married to a lovely woman and we’ve two young kids. I’m out to my wife but I keep this side of my life away from the children. I feel no shame in what I do, I just don’t think they need to know. But that’s a story for another day.
Lynn’s Crossdressing Success Story
Like a lot of TG people I dreamed of going out. Making yourself all pretty at home is one thing, but it can get tired after a while. I wanted to meet other people like me and, if I’m honest, to feel included. Email and blogs are one thing, but I don’t think they’re a good substitute for a trip out.
After a few weeks of mental hand-ringing, I asked my wife if it would be okay. While I was already ‘out’ to my dear wife, she (understandably) had some concerns: Would I be safe? How would I get there? What’ll happen? Where would I get changed? We talked about all of these questions and more. I think that talking is the key. It isn’t easy, us blokes, well, we’re not exactly the most communative gender are we. Still, I tried hard and it was worthwhile for two reasons: Mrs Jones’ peace of mind and also to question why I wanted to do it. Other than the rush of going out, because we can feel that, would meeting up with other transgender people help me? I hoped that it would.
A week or so later I packed a bag and set off for the venue. I’d agreed to meet up with a friend I’d met on the Internet (hi Maddie!) at the venue. The place was a quiet out of the way community hall somewhere in Nottingham. We were met by a friendly (genetic) lady who helped run the group and shown where I could get changed.
After some time I was ready. All my male clothes were packed away in my bag and I took one last look in the mirror. My lipstick was okay and at least my hair (wig) was on straight. Was I too smartly dressed? I had no idea what to expect! I clearly remember my hand resting on the door handle for a few seconds. I took a deep breath and opened the door. I shouldn’t have worried, but you can’t help it can you? What if people laugh? What if I look a mess or if I met someone I knew?
None of these bad things happened. Instead, I was made to feel very welcome and I had a great evening talking to some very nice likeminded people. Most people were trannys, but there were one or two wives present too. It certainly didn’t feel like some kinky joint, more like a parent’s social evening! My nerves made me babble a bit, but no one minded.
If I’m honest it helped me feel that it’s okay to be a tranny. Sure, what we do is unusual, but there’s a big difference between “unusual” and “abnormal”. That first visit was many months ago, years in fact, and I’ve made some good friends. The fact that I can go and see the group means I no longer ‘panic dress’: rushing to the cupboard when I’ve got a day off and the house to myself. Indeed, I don’t dress at home much and there have been times when I’ve been happy to go along simply for the good company rather than for the chance to get all dressed up.
Well, unless there’s a party on. You can’t ignore the chance to wear your party dress can you?
When Hate Has Been Said And Done, Let Love Remain
Julie Nemecek wrote a moving article a few weeks back on her website, that I believe is a transcript of the speech she gave at the MSU rally protesting proposition 8. Within it are words of wisdom for those fighting injustice, as many in the transgender community are passionately doing.
She starts strong, saying:
We are here today to celebrate the beginning of the end of the political power of the extreme right. They have lost their self-proclaimed moral authority and we have now claimed the moral high ground.
Indeed, I have felt for a long time that those on the far right claim to be followers of Jesus, but look more like those Jesus spoke out against. The higher moral authority comes from those who do as Jesus commanded - to Love others as you love yourself. To love your enemies as your friends.
Julie continues with the wisdom of how to fight prejudice, and is Martin Luther King-esque in the admonition to maintain the moral high ground. To speak with dreams of a better future, not out of hate and hurt but channeling our righteous anger into peaceful change this world needs.
We are angry today. It is a righteous and just anger but we must avoid words and deeds of violence or hate and harness that anger into positive expressions of the dreams we have. We are angry at some religious leaders, but we must not forget that many religious leaders, and true religious expression, are on our side.
Yet in this time we shouldn’t remain quiet - there are those who want to take away the gains we’ve made - to de-legitimize our claim to the fundamental rights every person should have.
Keith Olbermann’s comments on proposition 8 nearly brought me to tears, and are well worth watching:
Transgender Rights / Transgender Discrimination
I believe that despite all the challenges we face in the transgender community - despite the challenges that our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters face - that the United States was founded with a declaration that promises a bright future for all. I’ll end this post with Julie’s words of hope, because when all the hate has been said and done, love will remain.
230 years ago our country – our country! - issued a bold declaration proclaiming ALL are created with the inalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. It took awhile before ALL included blacks, but we got there. It took awhile until ALL included women, but we got there. “ALL” still does not include lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and transgender people, but we will get there!
Do You Have A Crossdressing Success Story?
Dear readers,
It’s been a wonderful blessing to receive your emails and comments. I read every one of them, even though I don’t always have the time to respond to each of you personally, your words inspire me. The thing I love reading the most are stories of of your crossdressing breakthroughs. Whether it’s a small success or a major personal achievement my heart sings along with yours. When I struggle with my transgendered nature (which I do, from time to time), your stories bring me strength.
The other day I was thinking - there are other crossdressers out there who would love to read your crossdressing success story. Whether it’s the first time you got your makeup done in public, or your first night our as your alter ego - your words will help lift up a sister when they’re down and give hope to someone who has yet to leave the closet.
If you’ve had a crossdressing success please take a few moments to write it down to share it. You don’t need to be Shakespeare, and your story doesn’t need to be long - just a few sincere words spoken to a friend.
Share Your Crossdressing Success Story
If you would like to share your crossdressing success story, please email me at vanessalaw@crossdresserheaven.com and let me know you’d like me to share with others. Please include:
- Your femme name
- A brief introduction (1-2 sentences about where you live, how old you are and such)
- Your story (if you go over 700 words I’m going to edit you down )
- Optional - A photo of you (no nudity please)
Thanks for your courage, beauty and care. I look forward to hearing from you.
A Crossdressers Christmas List
Christmas songs are in the air, as the cool wind dances through the trees. A blanket of white covers the mountains and trees with a shivery frosting. Gingerbread and carols and shopping for gifts - Even those of us who have gone many turns around the sun find our eyes sparkling with anticipation. Ahh - yes, the Christmas season is upon us in Seattle.
For loved ones and wives shopping for their transgendered girl offers a wonderful array of gift options, and perhaps those who crossdress would find room in their Christmas shopping for a little Christmas gift. So with bouts of ‘Ho Ho Ho’, I’ll share with you
My Crossdressing Christmas List
A little black dress to wear to the party,
A necklace of diamonds that shine and are sparkly,
A book for my mind,
A few pounds from my body,
I think would be a good way to start, my crossdressing Christmas.
But if I could have anything for Christmas I think I’d choose to pass as a women whereever I went. With breasts of my own or even for rent. Locks on long golden hair to tickle my shoulders. And this Christmas has become a bounty of crossdressing fun!
It would delight my heart to receive a pair of high heels. Dress boots are my favorite for fall and winter weather, just make sure they’re not too small - I’m a 12 wide you see.
The list of fabulous gifts you could buy your man who would be a women goes on. Each present unwrapped will bring untold joy. Not just in the gift that’s received, but the thought and the love and the acceptance it brings.
While Christmas is coming I think there’s still time - to write to Santa and tell him what you’d like. Comment here and let us know what would make your Christmas magical this year.
