It feels so right. Exercising my feminine grace, sharing my soul with a friend or stranger, working on being beautiful. Becoming a woman seems like the worthiest outcome of my efforts, and whenever I think about the necessary practice and perfection to get there it lights a smile inside my soul.
Yet for all my strong desires to be a woman, I go to work on Monday without a trace of the girl within me. I do not need to suffer the sacrifice so many transsexuals make when they transition. And I wonder, is my desire for womanhood just a fantasy that amuses me in my time away from real life?
My lovely wife has been wonderfully supportive. She’s shown more support than I dreamt I would receive. Yet, she loves me for the man I am, and I know that going further down the path to womanhood would mean that I lose the most precious thing in the world to me – the relationship I have with my wife.
Somehow, it feels false for me to split my time between being a man and a woman. It feels more whole to be a man on the journey to womanhood. That even though it is slow, each step is deliberate with a well known end goal. To set such a definitive direction would mean so many things, not least of which are many uncomfortable conversations with those I love.
Don’t misunderstand my confusion – I have come to terms with being transgender – I love and accept that part of myself, along with the many other talents and gifts God has blessed me with. Yet I still struggle with how to express it in a fulfilling way. Unless I have a clear path before me, I resist the necessary practice in the feminine ways that would take me closer to being a woman. If being transgender is part time, more of a ‘hobby’ than a lifestyle for me, how can I be fulfilled?
It seems that crossdressing is a truly, delightful pastime for so many of us.
I live in New Zealand as a heterosexual ( I think )who spends most of his time in soft flowing woman’s clothing.
An engineer working at home, either large black satin panties or a skirt are my usual garments in the shop. I even feel more at ease with heels built up on my work sandals.
My question is why?
Almost all my wardrobe is women’s, with the androgynous clothing for outside.
I just like me.
Thank you all for sharing, perhaps we are before our time.
Cheers
i am too intrested in slose crossdressing i like to remain alwain ladies costumes but due to family reputation iam not able to do so i am such acrazy that i try it put on my bra under my gents costumes and put on slieght make up those who are on this line they understand me some time in jokes i admitted to my friends that i am transgender but not a gay
First of all you know how strong your desire is to dress and feal like woman . You must have known this before you got married. I don’t know how any man could give his wife up if she lets him dress and have his way like you say she does . Wow I wish I could have this women. You must think of living with a nother man. That is lieing to your self . I hope you go through all you say you want to but remember once you change there is no going back. You well also loose a good women that loves you and cares for you and you well not get this with another man.
I’m 62 and I dress 75% of my life. yes I feel the woman in me also. My wife knows I dress also but she is not willing to except it like your wife. Anyway my wife takes good care of me like most good Philippino wemon do . I love her very much more so then my Hobby whitch is crossdressing . I dress almost every day except the weekends that I give to my wife. During the week I even ware my bra to work under my work clothes. Then when I get home I dress up because my wife is at work. I dont use makeup or ware a wig because I’m not trying to inpress anyone. So I’m a man when my wife need me most . An I dress up when I feel I need to relax. I know how I feel and I would not have married my wife if I knew I was going to Hurt her..
You should not have married if you had these feelings . Right now you get to dress when ever you want and your wife is there for you that is what is important . I wish you lots of luck with your decision . Enjoy dressing .
I bye my own things I dress almost every day. I’m a man and want to stay a man but I feel more relaxes dressing in wemon clothing. like right now I’m dressed in a black skirt a blue blouse blue shoes to mach the blouse . I fell more relaxed. You know when you come home from a trying day at the office you slip out of your daily clothes and into something more relaxing. Me it is these clothes. I’m decent looking and I don’t feel like competing with my wife as dressing. she looks better then i do in the clothes.
I ware these skirts because wemon don’t ware skirts anymore. I like them. You go out in the world to day and look how many wemon ware skirts not many. They like to dress like us men in pance . So you may think it is funny for me to dress this way. I don’t I’m dressed. Some people would say his wife wares the pants in the family. No we are equal in every decision. Yes my wife is the boss and it is that way because I want it to be that way. I still make the money and I still pay the bills here. So think the way you wont feel the way you are I bye my own clothes and these are some of the clothes I bye and I’m happy.
Yes some time I ware some panties and a bra to work under my work clothes but I don’t see where I’m hurting any one or trying to be someone I’m not. I’m just me. My kids and wife love me as me. I don’t think my wife or my kids would want me anyother way. I gess I’m saying I’m diffent then most people and I care. So let not brand the clothes ware what you want and relax. don’t let anyone tell you you cant do this . It is my money I bye my own clothes and I’m going to ware them thank you. I’m still a cross dressing man.
i agree, i work really hard and come home and take Ricks clothes off and dress as mistee…and cant wait for the weekend when i dont have to change
I perfectly understand you, My case is similar ti yoursm except that my kids dont know about my dressing, I do it when in our bedroom or when kusd are away, Even in my house wife is the boss and she is the one who takes decisions
I always wear panties and slips under my regular clothing and some times sports bra with wide straps to my office.
i am new to this lifestyle and can not believe how great it makes me feel….my soon to be wife started my transformation and supports me in my crossdressing. In fact, she could care less who sees me dressed up!!!!im so scared about embarressing her….but we walk our dog with me dressed and i feel fine. We also have a close female friend that accepts me dressed up which helps me alot……i would love to chat with more people like me, but who knows….thank for reading, it makes me feel better just getting it off my chest
When I was yoounger, I never had a real proble being the young girl that I knew I was. It showed in almost everything I did. Then I had to grow up and face the reality that no matter how hard I tried to keep being the woman I was, life kept kicking me down.
In my teens, I acted and somewhat dressed everyday as a woman. I even found a guy that seemed to love me for being me. My girl friends would encourage me to be truely beautiful and feminine. Reality was my parents that slapped me down for being me. As they put it “This world doesn’t need another weirdo in it so act like a man”.
I hid all the time I was in the military. I even dated women so as to keep up the front so I wouldn’t end up being kicked out. Then a doctor and my own stupidity did something that I now regret. I allow him to treat me with T so I could look more like a man. I hated the changes it did to my body and my mind. It changed me into a being that I dispised. I became a testestrone dripping male.
Today, I am still married to a woman that I became involved with while trying to hide. At first, she was reluctant to accept who or should I say what I was. She married a loud obnoxious male and she never wanted to be involved with a woman. Later in our marrage, when The feeling and emotions overwhelmed me to be the real me, we fought (screaming, yelling, crying, etc.) it out and she became somewhat accepting.
Today, I have learned to straddle both sides of the gender line. I know that there would be no way I could ever pass in public as a woman because of the abuse I’ve done to my body over the years. I am somewhat happy with being just me but would prefer to be the woman I have hidden from the world.
I am just now trying to understand my gender. I love dressing as a female but my wife thinks it is really not the manly thing to do. istarted when i was 15 and now 59. kept it burried until now. it took suicide atempt to bring to me to this point. my theripist suggest i explore this new life. my wife threatens to leave if i continue to go beyondpanties and nylons. does anyone know of any support groups around north idaho.
When I was 9 I tried dressing in my moms cloths and was caught by my dad, he offered to buy my own girls clothing, but I was embarrassed and said no. In my teen years I stole my sisters cloths and would put them on when no one was home and than would put them back before she notice. I never pursued my feminine side and went on to have 5 children. I am now 42 and it was like a light bulb or a switch was turned on that told me to stop living in a lie. I would see guys and was turned on by them, I still like girls but know I want to be a woman. I put a bra an panties on and it just feels so right to me. I am a big guy and have balding hair, so I know when it comes to looks that is one thing I just do not have. My girlfriend thinks I am going through a midlife crisis but I know what I feel and that is not it. Don’t give up on who you are, we always tell our kids you can be whatever you want. It is time for those that feel like us to be who we want. I wish you all the best on your Journey and hope you find the peace inside and the courage to be who you want.
I have the same problems. I am so happy when I am dressed as Joyce. It gives me a wonderful day. I sometimes wonder if I have Kleinfelter’s Syndrome. Two x chromosomes and one y because I didn’t just decide to be a crossdresser one day. It was always there. It’s in my blood or my genes. I don’t know. But I am happy with it, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Except the fear of being caught when I am expressing my true self. Does anyone know where you get chromosome testing done? I do not want to ask my doctor becsause of embarassment.
Darn it I just wrote a heartfelt comment and it dosappeared into cyberspace. What happened. I am out of time now and I have to go.