cross dresser

The Keys To Crossdresser Success

One of the common misconception is that transvestism means your life is destined for a hard battle from one failure to the next. Dragging around your shame and guilt it seems as if crossdresser success and life success are mutually exclusive. Yet reality seems balanced on this question. While there may be many in the transgendered community who are struggling to come to terms with their transgendered nature and at the same time live a fruitful life, there are others who manage to do both.

What is crossdresser success?

I think the essence of success is being able to fully accept and live as who you are, while at the same time making a meaningful contribution to your family and society.

Recently on a forum that encourages crossdresser success, tekla made an insightful comment that with her permission I’ve shared:

I see all too often a linking between sex and the rest of the life deal. People can be successful, motivated, achieving people regardless of who they are attracted to. Nor, as a visit to the successful transitions website shows are there any lack of TS persons with PhD, or who are doctors, lawyers, professors and other accomplished careers.

I would speculate that the difference is not in who you are attracted to, or what your GID status is, but rather what you choose to do about it, how you work with it, incorporate it in your life or if you just sit somewhere and obsess about it.

I said somewhere else that most TS don’t need therapy, they need a life – and in the end, that’s all therapy will tell you to do, go out and be the person you think you are, the person that will make yourself (and maybe others) happy.

If you liked driving around to music, and I did, try riding a bike with some iTunes, or my favorite, a skiing soundtrack (Big band and rockabilly and bluegrass do very well) or just walk. You still don’t need a destination, I ride for miles and miles every day with no real point, just for the workout and to be out in the sun, and doing something. I take a camara, so I can take photos of some of the things I see.

I’ve always been ashamed of it like I am taking part in some demonic ritual.
Hopefully you will find a way around that shame, and it can become someother, better type of ritual, one of joy, acceptance, and exploration.

No matter what your looking for, I know that person, or persons are out there. Find out what kind of things such people might enjoy, and get involved in that, join a group or two, volunteer or something.

Well said tekla!


P.S. If you are struggling to find self-acceptance or the acceptance of others I highly recommend reading Helen Boyd’s book My Husband Betty.

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5 Tips For Making Womens Plus-Size Fashion Fashionable For Men

Approximately half of all American women are over a size 14, which is considered to be “plus-sized” by the fashion industry. This is good news for crossdressers as it means more stores catering to the larger woman. Personally I’ve flirted with size 14, but spend most of my days between size 16 and 18.

If you’re still trying to understand how woman’s sizes work, take a look at this cross dressing size chart a few months ago.

Crossdresser Clothing

Overweight women want to look as good, stylish, and put-together as their “regular”-sized counterparts. In the typical department store, the selection appears to be quite divergent. The misses department displays stylish, budget-friendly options. The plus-size, or women’s, section shows high-waisted pants, tunic-style shirts, and sack-like dresses. And transvestite fashion seems to be enamored with spike heels and mini-skirts.

What is a crossdressing man with fashion sense to do?

Janet Perry, a plus-size 50-something and author of Bargello Revisited, shares some tips for making plus-size fashion fashionable:

  1. Educate yourself: Pay attention to what’s fashionable in fashion magazines, on TV, and in everyday life. Doing this shows you what trends are in and what is (or should be) out. Eventually, you will be able to spot the trends and know what’s fresh without having to be told (via magazines or TV shows like What Not to Wear on TLC).
  2. Know your own body: What is your shape? Do you have an hourglass figure or a square? An inverted triangle or a pear? How do you find out? You could have a figure analysis by a fashion consultant or you can figure it out for yourself. Hold a yardstick against your shoulder and your hip. In looking in a mirror, does the yardstick angle in or out? Does it stay straight up and down? If it goes in, you’re the inverted triangle; out, the pear. Straight? Either a rectangle or an hourglass. How do you tell the difference on that just based on the yardstick? See if you can put any fingers between the yardstick and your waist without moving the yardstick. If you can get at least two fingers between there, you’re an hourglass. Look for clothes that flatter that shape instead of hiding it.
  3. Know your colors: Perry advocates, “Have your colors done and stick to them.” However, knowing if you look better in cool, warm, or neutral colors will work well enough. To discover that, you need a swatch of shiny silver fabric, shiny gold fabric, and a mirror. Hold each of them in turn up to your face, right under your chin. How do you look? If the silver makes you look washed out but the gold makes you look healthy, stick to warm colors. If it’s the other way around, use cool colors. Both? Technically, you’re neutral, but you can wear cool or warm colors within reason.
  4. Accessories and shoes don’t come in plus sizes,” Perry says. Wear classic clothes that fit well and look good on you and indulge in the trends through your shoes, purses, and other accessories. Our crossdressing fashion sense should kick in at this point, as we realize that closed shoes and lower heels are the way to go if we want to be more passable.
  5. Avoid things that signal you don’t care: Sweatpants never stay looking nice. T-shirt dresses with no shape, pants that are made to look like dresses, and dresses or skirts that are too long make you look frumpy and heavier. No plus-size woman wants, or needs, that. Perry also says, “Muumuus don’t even look good on thin, beautiful Hawaiian girls.”

It is possible to be fashionable on a budget. Some stores, such as Lane Bryant, Fashion Bug, Katherine’s, Avenue, and Cato Fashions, to name a few, offer selections that are fashionable for plus-size women at various budget-friendly prices. An outfit (three separates) for an awards banquet, for example, recently cost less than $60.00 at Cato Fashions.

If you’re still having trouble you’ll find crossdresser fashion advice and more in this guide. Be beautiful!

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Thank You!

Thank you all for your supportive and encouraging comments. My heart is overflowing with warmth now. I realize the wonderful thing about cross dressing is that it brings the most wonderful, caring people into my life. Lisa Ann, Alicia, Lynn, April and Polly you have brought a smile to my face!

It seemed as if many of you feel the desire to be ‘femme’ – to dress and act like a woman, but still loving your male body. Lynn’s comment struck me – that she doesn’t feel split, but rather a whole, integrated person who sometimes dresses like a woman, and other times like a guy.

It seems so true that it is all about accepting yourself for who you are. There are no rules as to ‘how’ you should be transgender. Perhaps, for me, it is the ‘type A’ part of my personality that wants to do everything as well as I can. When I feel like dressing as a woman, well, I have to do it ‘all the way’.

Many times when I’m in ‘male mode’ (as it were), I find myself thinking and acting as a woman. For me, this feels comfortable and right.  Yet it does make me wonder what it would feel like to be a woman every day.

Again, thank you all for your kind words. I have been giving them a lot of thought these past few days.

Hugs,

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