“I can understand why they would think I’m a freak. After all, I look like a man in a dress.”
Does this sound familiar? Or perhaps you’ve said it to yourself in a different variation that involves condoning snide remarks, not letting you in to a bar or even calling the cops. After all, you’re a man in a dress and society has a right to be outraged, don’t they?
The answer is no. No human being should ever have to apologize for who they are. No one should be forced to hide the light of their soul to satisfy the norms of society.
Susan does a great job addressing what is essentially ‘blaming the victim’ in a podcast from two weeks ago. She argues strongly that in order to make any progress with civil rights for the transgendered we cannot continue to blame the victim – in this case the transgendered – for being who they are. It’s not acceptable to condone violence and hate because someone is different, any more than it is acceptable to rape a woman just because she is wearing a short skirt in a bad neighborhood.
Now, I’m not advocating that you throw caution to the wind, don your 5″ heels and strut self-righteously to the nearest tavern. You’re likely to leave with a bruised ego, or possibly worse. The object isn’t to try and make a fool of yourself. Next time you put in the effort to look like a natural woman, I am asking you to silence the voice inside your head that tells you ‘I deserve to be stared at’, ‘I deserve to be treated as a freak’.
What you deserve is to be treated with dignity and respect, just as you would treat anyone else – regardless of their race, religion, sexual preference or gender identity. You see, the first step to equality starts inside our own mind. Only once we believe we are worthy are we able to stand up sincerely to defend our worth.
Ladies, I would love to hear about your story of how you stood up for your self worth, even if it was just in your thoughts, refusing to let your identity be determined by someone else. Comment and let me know.
Hugs,
Vanessa
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