Crossdressing Christian

Vicki’s Inspirations for Crossdressing Christians -The Widow’s Offering

By Vanessa Law | Published July 26, 2009 | 2 Comments

After a brief hiatus Vicki is back with more inspirations for crossdressing Christians. I hope you enjoy this inspiration as much as I did.

41 And he sat down opposite the treasury and watched the people putting money into the offering box. Many rich people put in large sums. 42 And a poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which make a penny. 43 And he called his disciples to him and said to them, “Truly, I say to you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the offering box. 44 For they all contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on.” Mark 12:41-44

We all know this verse from as far back as Sunday school, and if you are still new to the faith, it still serves as one of the cornerstones of Jesus’ ministry and a warning of the dangers of conspicuous religiosity. My own interpretation of the teaching being , a “woe to you who parade around proud of the 10th, or 7th, or 5th of what you give from you abundant riches.” For me too, it has always been more about money than about other things, though pastors and teachers from my past have always sought to expand my/our understanding to include the talents that I have as gifts from God that were given to me to share with others. So when I saw this verse in the devotions that get sent to my e-mail every day, I pretty much read it, digested it, and with a been there done that attitude, figured I was done with Mark 12 and the widow for another year or two. I had little new to learn from this, sure I could be more generous with my time, talents, and treasure, but I knew I fell short, and thanks God for the gentle reminder.

But the Spirit apparently was not done with me and as the day went on the verse no only stayed with me, it began to take on new meaning. Having been absent for a bit of time from posting my little inspirations, I think the Spirit was telling me, Vicki, you aren’t even sharing a small part of what you have right now. Sure you could be giving more in a monetary way, but I’ve given you a talent and a perspective that you have neglected for a couple months now. The simple fact is that having accepted my Cross-dressing and an ability and venue to share God’s Promise with others like me and even beyond, I’d been of late burying that talent in the ground. (Another parable for another column). God was using this passage to hold me to the widow’s standard. Was I giving what I have, ALL I have to others? Sadly no, it was far easier to find other distractions to keep me busy, some fruitful to me, but none fruitful to God or to others.

I guess that is part of the point. Specifically when it comes to my cross-dressing it is easier to keep it under wraps and hold it to myself, showing a little here, maybe a little there, but never letting go completely of the little treasure I have to others. I’ve claimed that my dressing and feminine side are Gifts from God, but now hold onto them like some museum piece to admire and talk about, but never take off the shelf. To be sure, my intent is not to suggest all you dear readers need to burst out of the closet singing “here I am!”. But for me, it is clear that more needs to be done, by me, on this front. Though for most CD’s this may not be what God is asking you to share, there is something inside each of us that God has given us as gift, to be shared and shared abundantly with others. I’ve said before that I firmly believe that this gift we share, is a Gift from God. Whether you recognize it as The Gift to be shared or just a part of a fully realized and integrated person that now feels empowered to share other parts of themselves is immaterial. God has created us each to be a comfort to each other, and to share those parts of ourselves that do most to advance His purposes. I pray that we recognize the Gifts God is asking us to share and that we find the strength and encouragement we need to give gladly of all of that which was first given to us.

Peace to all
Vicki

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Vanessa here, thanks for the inspiration this week Vicki. Even to those who are not religious I think your message applies. Share your transgender gift with others and you could do a great service to them and the transgender community. You may inspire them to become more tolerant, or to cherish diversity, or just to realize that transgendered people can be good and caring. Sharing your authentic self with someone shows them an uncommon measure of love and trust.

Don’t forget, you can get Crossdresser Heaven automatically delivered to your Kindle. If you don’t have a Kindle, can you take a moment to write a review of Crossdresser Heaven? It would be a great blessing to me.

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Vicki’s Inspirations for Crossdressing Christians – Let Go of Your Doubt

By Vicki Stevens | Published May 31, 2009 | 5 Comments

John 15 1, 7-8: (Jesus said): I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinegrower.7. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask for whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit and become my disciples.”

(Vanessa had asked that I divide this inspiration into two pieces for ease of reading and thinking on. This is the continuation of the inspiration that started with the story of the Eunuch in Acts. To recap, both of these lessons, the story of the Eunuchin Acts, and the parable of the vine and the vinegrower were read in church on Mother’s Day and were the source for the entire Inspiration.-Vicki)

It seems appropriate then that the image of the vine that Jesus uses in the Gospel followed the lesson of this hungering soul, the eunuch of Acts. Jesus compares himself to a vine, and the Father to the vinegrower. He compares us to offshoots from that vine, and that those who bear fruit, are cared for, pruned and allowed to flourish under the Father’s care and constantly fed by the main vine which is Christ. We cannot live or exist in Christ apart from his sustenance. “Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit, but apart from me you can do nothing.” I listened to the verse, understanding again the lesson that in Christ lays the answers we all look for and yet hearing these words as if for the first time and with new understanding. The minister in his sermon used many present day examples to drive the point home, and then asked this question, attempting to tie the two stories together. He allowed that angels, still work in this world, though we probably shouldn’t expect magnificent winged creatures blazing with light to guide us. But, he said, be attentive to the little things and then look inside to test it. He pointed more than once to an area on his torso, between the heart and stomach and peered at the congregation, how do we know it is the Spirit he asked, tapping that region on him self. He didn’t need to provide the answer, for we know where God resides. It is there in our heart that we find not only God abiding in us, but us abiding in God. The lesson was very clear, but my hungering Spirit wanted more.

When one goes out on a journey that might be on a path that would seem new; perhaps by the “experts” of our day to be…forbidden; one wants to be sure that their chosen path is correct. I want to believe that this ministry call I feel so strongly is true. I found myself as the Pastor tapped his heart wanting to shout out, how can we know and trust that “gut” feeling. I am a seeker filled with too many doubts at times, still wanting to believe that it doesn’t matter what I choose to wear, or who I find fulfillment in love with, or even that the body I was given does not match the person that I am. I want to believe that God is not judging us on that. Still the path I am on, the people I seek to reach out to and be reached back to by, are seen by so many as unworthy of God’s love and acceptance. I know many in this community struggle daily with this side of themselves and reject God, because they feel God has rejected them. So I wonder if I might just be wrong and that “they” are right. I formulate the words and want to ask, How can I be sure this is God and not my own selfishness, or my own agenda. It seems even as the words are hanging in the air, “those who abide in me” I am forgetting them. Even as the pastor taps his chest, I am questioning my own heart.

Yet, the words stay, the words hang until they can penetrate and take root. I let go of the doubt, look to Jesus, and allow myself to abide in Him, and the fruit begins to flourish. I give up my own agenda, I allow the vinegrower to prune as necessary, and wait for the fruit to appear. God is wise enough to know, if I saw the perils of the journey, I would likely just stay at home. If we knew what lay ahead, joys and sorrow, trials and triumphs, most of us would likely just decide it wasn’t worth it, and choose to live the way we are expected to. But He provides us with the assurance we need. The fruits of our labors would be proof enough. In these first weeks, I’ve found so many of you willing to share your thoughts back to me, to encourage me in small yet important ways. I hesitate to use the term, loaded in our present day world with such negative connotation for people like us. But there it is, you are my fruits, the assurance that Jesus abides in me, and that I am finally beginning to abide in Him. Maybe better to say, you all are my angels, visiting me and pointing me to new paths, all the while giving me that sense of peace that I am on the right path for me. I give thanks to you and I give thanks to God for you all dear readers, and will stay on this path, even though doubt assails me at times. I will strive to remember in Him, we have our strength and purpose and it is in Him only we need seek approval.

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Vicki’s Inspirations for Crossdressing Christians: We Are Not Outside God’s Acceptance

By Vicki Stevens | Published April 5, 2009 | 6 Comments

Vicki's Inspirations for Crossdressing Christians Today is Palm Sunday, for the Christian this is one of the more important days in the church calendar and in many churches is marked by attendees being given palm fronds and processing into the church singing Alleluia’s and waving the fronds back and forth. It marks the beginning of Holy Week, and while for many it is simply the Sunday before Easter, others know it as the beginning of a week long remembrance of the last days of Jesus’ life and maybe one of the most intense periods of his teachings and a total embodiment of His purpose for coming to earth. Palm Sunday marks the triumphant entry of Christ into Jerusalem, the center of the Jewish tradition and religion at the time. Jesus is greeted by exuberant crowds who lay palms in front of Him and shout Hosanna as he rides on a donkey into the city.

If we enter the scene as a participant, we may have our own reasons for singing praise to this itinerant preacher who is said to have performed miracles and taught the nearness of God’s kingdom. We too sing Hosanna, for many reasons and cheer the coming of the promised Messiah. He was viewed by all as the promised king who would restore Israel to her former glory, and reestablish the rule of God. Within the week though, the cheers have turned to jeers and the Savior is now seen not as the King of Kings, but as a rebel, an agitator, and a common criminal. Within the week, He will hang from a rough wooden cross, nails driven into His wrists and ankles, the wood splinters rubbing against His scourged back. He will have been beaten, spat upon, and condemned to death. All of this occurs because He fails to live up to the expectations of the religious leaders, and civil authorities of the time.

There is a picture we’ve all seen. It is of Christ in His agony on the cross, His arms outstretched and His head beginning to bow, and the caption reads, “I love you This Much.” Jesus knew ahead of time what He was going to go through and yet, once in Jerusalem He continued to turn the expectations of everyone on their head. He angered the keepers of the Levitical Laws by questioning those who upheld only what suited their needs and lined their pockets. It is this week that sees Jesus’ anger as He witnesses the way the money changers and profiteers have taken over the sacred Temple. It is her He overturns their tables and incites even more anger and raises in the minds of His opposition the plot to kill Him. If He won’t toe the line they say, We must get rid of Him. So they do, from the betrayal, and the abandonment, on the trumped up charges an innocent lamb is led to slaughter, and all on behalf of you and me.

The Lamb they hung to die, is the Lamb who came to preach to all, but especially to the outcast, to the sinner, even to the non Jew. No one was to be left out of God’s realm. Perhaps this is the underlying cause for what is to happen Thursday night and Friday morning. Play with a man’s livelihood and you are sure to cause some notice. But a whipping and being shown the door would have sufficed to satisfy the anger. Yet upset the assumptions of a man’s religious belief, call into question all the things that make you closer and the apple of God’s eye, and you have created a firestorm. This is Jesus’, big crime. Without the law, without the specialness of their category and class, if God loves us all equally, then where is my special place. What differentiates me from the rabble? Jesus must die.

Today we look back and often wonder where we would fit into the scheme. As a lesbian, a gay man, a transsexual, or even the guy who likes to put on his wife’s, or mother’s or the youth who puts on his sister’s clothes, we are often made to feel by both the civil and religious leaders that we are outside God’s acceptance and family. But we are not. The man who hung on a cross for our sins hung there for all of our sins. He spread His arms wide to show us how much His love encompasses and to embrace the entirety of God’s Creation.

In small ways, our mere existence challenges the established order and upsets the presumptions about proper relationship with God. But do not doubt for one moment, no matter what the Pharisees and Romans of our day tell us, we are part of the redemption. As part of that we are given an important role to play in God’s Kingdom, not the Kingdom some would wish for, but something new and unique. 2000 years later it seems, we still have not understood the meaning of Christ’s sacrifice, and that means in some ways, He still hangs there on that cross. But on one Sunday removed from the entry into Jerusalem, Jesus will prove the Truth of His ministry and the meaning of His death. On Easter we will remember the triumphant victory over sin and death. The light emanating from His face is big enough and strong enough to encompass us all. He Loves US, This Much.

Lord Jesus, Savior of us all, We stand cheering your entry into our hearts and lives. We remember the sacrifice you made for us and the lessons You taught about love and acceptance, no matter the imperfections others see in us and that we see in ourselves. You have freed us from hatred and exclusion. Today we ask that this week serve as a reminder of all you tried to teach and continue trying to teach, but mostly we offer grateful hearts for what You have done to perfect us for God. Help us to overcome the obstacles placed in our way by those who seek to please you by excluding us from your love. But also help us to love them as well. That by Your love reflected on us, we may help them to see Your Truth. You are the Lord of Lords and King of Kings. Hosanna in the Highest.

Amen

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