Crossdresser Heaven

Fashion, makeup and body movement tips for crossdressers who want to look and feel more feminine

Tags: crossdressing

Cross-dressing and the female privilege

Tags: crossdressing, crossdressing expression, female privilege, Gender Expression, transgender bathrooms

Comments: 10 Comments

Published on: June 9, 2008

A few weeks ago I wrote an article about crossdressing and ladies restrooms. As you may know, opponents of laws protecting gender identity and expression use the terrible threat of “men dressing up as woman to enter the ladies restroom and assault women” as a rallying cry. I can assure you that

Most cross-dressers just want to use the bathroom

Autumn recently posted a thoughtful article about gender expression as it relates to the fear of men using the ladies restroom. It is clear that over the last few centuries straight white males have enjoyed many privileges. As if somehow they were proto-humans, non-gay Caucasian men enjoy more job opportunities, better wages, less discrimination and favorable media coverage.

With all that privilege, though, women do enjoy at least one of their own in this day and age. As Autumn astutely observes – Women are not perceived to be predators.

I think the root of concern about protecting gender expression is intolerance – “you’re not like me”-ism. Yet this is far more difficult to sell to the public – we’re enlightened enough these days that hate and bigotry aren’t good ways of winning the majority to your cause. It is far easier to inflame the already existing fears that “men are predators” as a tactic to prevent free gender expression.

You don’t even need to look hard to come up with a credible sounding case. After all, if the men of God are caught molesting altar boys, surely the transgedered can’t be far behind?

I don’t have a solution for this deep seated fear. Perhaps if we spent more time cherishing all that is good in this world, in our society, we would embrace the unknown rather than running from it.

In that spirit, a dose of good news this morning. The UK has begun a program called

Living Libraries

Rather than a book, people can “borrow a stereotype”, and spend 30 mins with someone who is Muslim or gay or transgendered. The idea is that the best way to break down prejudice is to get to know someone. You can find some more details on transgendered in the living library and a good article here. If you’re in the UK, I encourage you to borrow someone who you may not understand and spend some time listening.

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P.S. Feminize yourself through hypnosis. Become the woman inside today!

I am who I am – again, for a time

by Vanessa Law

Categories: Vanessa's Transgender Experience

Tags: crossdress, crossdressing, transgender experience, transgender self acceptance

Comments: 1 Comment

Published on: May 3, 2008

It has been a while since Vanessa emerged. Busy with work, busy with life, busy with being busy. I guess this is why I haven’t had the time to become Vanessa for a few weeks. I find it strange, the longing to wear woman’s clothing, to take on female mannerisms, to become Vanessa. When I am not Vanessa, this longing feels almost sexual. At times it is as though I can feel the male part of me becoming aroused by the transgendered woman I am to be.

Just as suddenly it is gone. As I go through the habits familiar to all woman, showering and moisturizing, perfume and makeup, this feeling of tension washes away. When I go to the closet to choose my clothes (an unfortunately small selection thanks to my most recent purge demon) it’s almost gone. Once I’ve weighed the lacy blouse against the chiffon top even the memory of this feeling has evaporated. Replaced by a feeling of wholeness that is difficult to describe.

It is as the moment of finding a lost possession, stretched over hours rather than an instant. It is as if you meet yourself, and invite her over to dinner. It is like holding the hand of a dear loved one you’ve known so long, only that loved one is a part of you.

When I sat down to write today’s article I wasn’t intending to share this experience. Truth be told I wasn’t intending to have it either. Even though intellectually I know the relief and feeling of whole that overcomes me when I cross dress, I thought that sharing my thoughts in this weblog could substitute for living who I am.

I’ve just put on my jewelry, a beautiful necklace my wife bought me one Christmas and a pair of diamond earrings. For a time, I am who I am again.

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Cross dressers – don't apologize for who you are

by Vanessa Law

Categories: Transgender News and Issues

Tags: crossdresser equality, crossdressing, transgender issues, Transgender Rights, transgender self acceptance

Comments: 4 Comments

Published on: April 13, 2008

“I can understand why they would think I’m a freak. After all, I look like a man in a dress.”
Does this sound familiar? Or perhaps you’ve said it to yourself in a different variation that involves condoning snide remarks, not letting you in to a bar or even calling the cops. After all, you’re a man in a dress and society has a right to be outraged, don’t they?

The answer is no. No human being should ever have to apologize for who they are. No one should be forced to hide the light of their soul to satisfy the norms of society.

Susan does a great job addressing what is essentially ‘blaming the victim’ in a podcast from two weeks ago. She argues strongly that in order to make any progress with civil rights for the transgendered we cannot continue to blame the victim – in this case the transgendered – for being who they are. It’s not acceptable to condone violence and hate because someone is different, any more than it is acceptable to rape a woman just because she is wearing a short skirt in a bad neighborhood.

Now, I’m not advocating that you throw caution to the wind, don your 5″ heels and strut self-righteously to the nearest tavern. You’re likely to leave with a bruised ego, or possibly worse. The object isn’t to try and make a fool of yourself. Next time you put in the effort to look like a natural woman, I am asking you to silence the voice inside your head that tells you ‘I deserve to be stared at’, ‘I deserve to be treated as a freak’.

What you deserve is to be treated with dignity and respect, just as you would treat anyone else – regardless of their race, religion, sexual preference or gender identity. You see, the first step to equality starts inside our own mind. Only once we believe we are worthy are we able to stand up sincerely to defend our worth.

Ladies, I would love to hear about your story of how you stood up for your self worth, even if it was just in your thoughts, refusing to let your identity be determined by someone else. Comment and let me know.

Hugs,
Vanessa

P.S.

I found this pair of size C/D breastforms on Ebay. They normally cost $300, bidding starts at only $99.

No More Transgender Discrimination

by Vanessa Law

Categories: Transgender News and Issues

Tags: crossdressing, transgender discrimination, transgender equality, transgender politics, transsexual

Comments: No Comments

Published on: April 9, 2008

At least in Detroit, which recently banned discrimination on the basis of gender identity. This comes a few months after Michigan banned discrimination against the transgendered for all state employees.

As I was reading this, I began thinking about a recent podcast of the Talking Tranny Show. In this podcast Susan discussed the best way to end discrimination of the transgendered. Whether it was by first advancing laws to end discrimination, or by winning the hearts and minds of people. In the end she concluded that, while both are important, winning the hearts and minds of people is more important and where we should focus our efforts first. She says the best way to do that is to come out, be yourself, and give people the opportunity to know a transgendered soul personally, rather than through the lens of Jerry Springer.

Detroit’s recent ban on discrimination against transgendered seems to echo another trend – the love for others starts at home. Locally.

I think it will be a long time before we see federal laws enacted to protect the transgender community. Yet in spite of that, there is growing momentum at the local and state level to provide protection for basic human rights – for all it’s citizens.

I live in hope that love for one another will win over fear and hate. That as we show ourselves for who we are – normal, hardworking, caring people – others will judge us by the content of our character, not the color of our lip gloss.

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What Sex is your brain?

by Vanessa Law

Categories: Transgender Info, Vanessa's Transgender Experience

Tags: crossdresser sex, crossdressing, Gender Identity, transgender, transsexual, what is my gender identity, what sex is your brain

Comments: 12 Comments

Published on: March 30, 2008

I love taking the tests for gender. I’m fascinated with the prospect that someone can take seemingly basic things about my life and expression, and tell something more fundamental about who I am, that I may not even realize. Of course, with any such test there is part science, part art, and part make believe, and we should never let the results from a test determine who we are.

Some of you are probably familiar with the COGIATI test, which stands for the mouthful of ‘Combined Gender Identity and Transsexuality Inventory’ (phew). This test is targeted to Male-to-Female, Pre-Operative people, and should be used as a basis for self-examination, and to consider whether further investigation should be pursued with a qualified therapist.

At the end of the test you are categorized into one of five categories:

Class 1 – Definite Male, typical of the sexual gratification-based, fetishitic transvestite
Class 2 – Feminine Male, mostly sexual / fetishistic but slightly gender involved crossdresser
Class 3 – Androgyne, the serious transgenderist
Class 4 – Probably Transsexual, most common type of transsexual (well over 70%)
Class 5 – Classic Transsexual, the rarest, early onset, ‘classic model of early research’ transsexual

Whenever I’ve taken this test, I either end up as:

Class 3 – Androgyne, or
Class 4 – Probably Transsexual

I think this shows two things: Firstly that our self perception varies over time, with our moods and our circumstances – something that is important to keep in mind for those who are contemplating a transition. Secondly, for me at least, cross dressing is more than just about feeling comfortable wearing woman’s clothes, but striving to be woman in mannerisms, behavior and thoughts. Whenever I have done this I get a sense of resonance, just as playing a chord on the piano perfectly matches two or three different notes to produce a harmonious sound.

For those who aren’t transgendered

The other day I found a great gender test on BBC, which is among one of the more scientific I’ve taken. They also allow everyone to play along, so you don’t need to be transgendered to take the test. My results are below, showing that my brain is slightly female. When my wife took the test she scored as the typical male (so perhaps we are equally yoked ).