Tags: Gender Identity

I Am Not Gay!

Really. I promise. Cross my heart.

I know, I’m wearing a dress.
No, they’re not real.
Yes, that’s lipstick – Raspberry Rush actually.

*sigh*

Sexual Identity is a Tapestry of Color

Sexual Identity is a Tapestry of Color

The rest of the world is blessed in it’s ignorance. They get to lump all the “sexually deviant” folks into a single bucket of “them” (usually pronounced with a sneer). Sexuality, as with most things in life, is not so easily separated into black and white. Rather, it is a tapestry of colors that cover the gamut of sexual preference, gender identity and gender expression. With much of the common knowledge running aground as a transgender myth.

In my life being transgendered has forced me to confront my own sexuality. I identify, in part at least, as a woman and often seek to express this identity in the clothes I wear, the way I look and the activities I undertake.

In those moments when I identify as a man I’m quite confident in my heterosexuality. My wife’s movement, her body, her voice, her scent – they send my heart a flutter (among other things :) ).

When I am a woman, lets just say it gets more complicated. Though my lovely wife may not appreciate it, she still has a wondrous effect on me. I long for the feelings of protection, love, adoration, softness from one who is strong. Yet the thought of this being a man does not appeal to me. It’s as if I long to play the feminine part with a masculine partner who is not a man – Take that Freud!

My point in sharing is not to disclose details of my private life with you, or even to hold up myself as a prototypical example of all crossdressers, for surely this isn’t the case. I want to point out that the diversity of human sexuality is not confined to a few discrete points. It’s not possible to create a set of categories and use these to accurately define everyone, as is wonderfully captured by a poetic recounting of the third gender.

Live who you are. Love who you are. Define yourself by what is in your heart.

A Transgender Rose, by any other name

A Transgender Rose By Any Other Name...

A Transgender Rose By Any Other Name...

A label is such a funny thing. It can provide an identity, lend legitimacy to who we are, and create a community . Whether you’re a fan of a sports team, from a certain university or enjoy a particular hobby you have a label. Along with that label you are also granted a set of characteristics common to that group. Even before someone meets you, they already “know” who you are – A skydiver is a daring thrill seeker and a librarian is a stern intellectual. You’re stereotyped, for good or ill, regardless of whether the stereotype is apt.

Given the power of a stereotype, I’m hesitant to categorize those within the transgender community. The gender spectrum is so varied that I would be naive to think that I could provide an adequate description for all points along the spectrum, or even that I had identified the most interesting points. Yet in spite of this, I know that an article attempting to describe the gender spectrum can be a godsend for those who are just beginning their journey in gender diversity. Often, as I was starting out, you feel confused and alone. You may not even be aware that you’re struggling with gender identity.

Am I alone in my love for women’s clothing? Does this mean I’ll get a sex change? Am I gay?

I can’t answer all your questions in one article, or even a full publication – two author’s have tried in excellent books I highly recommend (My Husband Wears My Clothes and My Husband Betty). My goal is to share a few of the terms we use within the transgender community to describe ourselves – and to hear from the veterans what they think and where I may have misspoken.

So with that in mind…

Defining Transgender

Wikipedia has a good article on the transgender definition, but unfortunately I’ve found many other suspect answers on the Internet so be careful who you listen to. There are also some transgender myths you should avoid.

Transgender: Myself (and others) use this term as a broad umbrella term to encompass all people who have feelings of gender dysphoria, from the part time crossdresser to someone who has transitioned. In recent literature on the topic the term “cisgender” has been coined to be the opposite of transgender – where the inner and outer gender identity are consistent.

Crossdresser: A crossdresser is someone who dresses in clothes of the opposite gender for pleasure. This may be sexual or a desire to appear as the other gender (see: why do men crossdress). Many crossdressers I’ve spoken with describe the feeling associated with wearing clothes of the opposite gender as natural and relaxing.

Transsexual: A person who lives as a gender opposite that of their birth gender. They may or may not have had “the operation” to alter their genitals. Pre-op (before the operation), Post-op (after the operation) and no-op (Opting not to have the operation). It is considered quite rude to refer to a transsexual by their birth gender – whether or not they “pass”.

Drag Queen/King: A performer who appears as the opposite gender, typically for theatrical effect, whether dramatic or comedic. It’s a myth that all drag queens are gay.

Intersexed: Someone who is born with ambiguous genitals. More often than not the “mistake of nature” is “fixed” shortly after birth when the doctor or parents choose a gender for the baby. This can result in a lifetime of struggle and shame (see the Intersex Society of North America for more details).

Genderqueer: Defying even the more liberal gender categorizations I’ve provided above, those who identify as gender queer typically break all stereotypes associated with gender and display the gender identity and gender expression they feel most suits them.

Have I missed anyone? Mischaracterized anyone? Let me know, I’m eager for your comments and feedback.

What’s your gender identity?

[poll id="7"]

Transgender Discrimination Is Deemed Illegal

Just recently a transsexual person won a lawsuit against the Library of Congress. Former Army commander Diane Schroer won her lawsuit after a judge determined that her upcoming transition was the primary reason why she was denied a job. Many in the transgender community have been impacted by the threat of transgender discrimination at the workplace. Even as society has made progress against sexual orientation discrimination many transgendered people still live in fear of losing their livelihoods.

I spoke about the financial plight of the transgendered a few months ago, urging financial help for the transgendered – and that we take our financial health into our own hands. While I believe those who are able should take their financial future into their hand, it is also important to end harassment and discrimination in the workplace.

Cheryl posted a good summary on her blog about the implications for transsexuals.

“I don’t think this will make a huge difference to actual employment rights for transgender people. To start with, if I am reading Dr. Weiss correctly, all companies have to do is have a policy of “we don’t employ transsexuals” and they are automatically covered by existing precedent – they don’t have to say anything else and risk getting into a mess like the Library of Congress did. In any case, refusing to hire someone because they are transgender, or firing them when you find out that they are, is ridiculously easy for a competent HR department. Even in the San Francisco Bay Area, 75% of the transgender population does not have full time employment. Furthermore, it takes someone with the sort of bravery and determination that Diane Schroer has shown to fight a case like this. Nevertheless, this is a landmark ruling, and one that will send shock waves through HR departments all over the USA. It will also act as a welcome kick in the pants for the Democrats in Congress, many of whom still believe that transgender rights are an issue that they dare not touch.”

You can also find some insightful commentary from the Bilerico Project, such as the below:

The most important aspect of the decision is the ruling that discrimination based on gender identity is literally discrimination based on sex. Schorer’s lawyers argued, and the judge agreed, that gender identity is a component of sex, and therefore discrimination based on gender identity is sex discrimination. This might sound like a simple proposition, but previous federal courts have “carved [transgender] persons out of the statute by concluding that ‘transsexuality’ is unprotected by Title VII.”

Personally I believe that any victory in the courts is good news for the transgender community. It is unacceptable to see people with twenty five years of service to their country discriminated against. I believe that many reasonably minded people will also find it unacceptable. By shining a light on this transgender discrimination and prejudice we build up awareness and support of others in this great country.

Diane’s words after the trial seem to sum it up best:

“I knew all along that the 25 years of experience I gained defending our country didn’t disappear when I transitioned, so it was hard to understand why I was being turned down for a job doing what I do best just because I’m transgender. It is tremendously gratifying to have your faith in this country, and what is fundamentally right and fair, be reaffirmed.”

The Third Gender

Categories: Gender Identity
Comments: 7 Comments
Published on: September 18, 2008

Society likes clear boundaries. Black or white. Gay or straight. Male or female. The relentless desire of society to categorize and sort. Placing each of us into nice neat boxes. People struggle mightily with the concept of a third gender. The idea that someone is in between a man and a woman. Gender society does not like to think of the transgender. In spite of this new social gender constructs are created to categorize the third gender: you’re a crossdresser or a transsexual. Yet the categories strain still, so more must be constructed: pre-op transsexual, no-op transsexual, post-op transsexual.

And on it goes, until we realize that there is no third gender. Just like there is no third race, but a spectrum of diversity that scares the gender society in it’s breadth of difference.

In this wonderful video Kit reminds us that,

“There may be as many as a million genders – just floating around waiting for the right person to snatch them up, put them on and proudly parade around in their new skin. Unrestricted by layers and identity, or limitations of society or culture or social construction. See, this new gender is a function of inner desire and genuine understanding of self to be lived.”

My thought for you today is:

There is no third gender, only gender

A beautiful melody of human diversity


P.S. If you enjoyed this article please subscribe to Crossdresser Heaven to receive regular updates on things that matter to the transgendered community.

What Sex is your brain?

I love taking the tests for gender. I’m fascinated with the prospect that someone can take seemingly basic things about my life and expression, and tell something more fundamental about who I am, that I may not even realize. Of course, with any such test there is part science, part art, and part make believe, and we should never let the results from a test determine who we are.

Some of you are probably familiar with the COGIATI test, which stands for the mouthful of ‘Combined Gender Identity and Transsexuality Inventory’ (phew). This test is targeted to Male-to-Female, Pre-Operative people, and should be used as a basis for self-examination, and to consider whether further investigation should be pursued with a qualified therapist.

At the end of the test you are categorized into one of five categories:

  1. Class 1 – Definite Male, typical of the sexual gratification-based, fetishitic transvestite
  2. Class 2 – Feminine Male, mostly sexual / fetishistic but slightly gender involved crossdresser
  3. Class 3 – Androgyne, the serious transgenderist
  4. Class 4 – Probably Transsexual, most common type of transsexual (well over 70%)
  5. Class 5 – Classic Transsexual, the rarest, early onset, ‘classic model of early research’ transsexual

Whenever I’ve taken this test, I either end up as:

  • Class 3 – Androgyne, or
  • Class 4 – Probably Transsexual

I think this shows two things: Firstly that our self perception varies over time, with our moods and our circumstances – something that is important to keep in mind for those who are contemplating a transition. Secondly, for me at least, cross dressing is more than just about feeling comfortable wearing woman’s clothes, but striving to be woman in mannerisms, behavior and thoughts. Whenever I have done this I get a sense of resonance, just as playing a chord on the piano perfectly matches two or three different notes to produce a harmonious sound.

For those who aren’t transgendered

The other day I found a great gender test on BBC, which is among one of the more scientific I’ve taken. They also allow everyone to play along, so you don’t need to be transgendered to take the test. My results are below, showing that my brain is slightly female. When my wife took the test she scored as the typical male (so perhaps we are equally yoked :) ).

What did you score? Did this match up with your expectations?

Is your brain a cross dresser or transsexual?

Before you rush off and make any big decisions based on a gender test, please heed these warnings. Have fun!

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