Tags: transsexual

What's the Difference Between a Crossdresser and a Transsexual?

Categories: Am I Transsexual?
Comments: 4 Comments
Published on: October 23, 2011

It’s an old joke in the transgender community that goes like this:
Q: “What’s the difference between a crossdresser and a transsexual?”
A: “Two years”

This provides some humorous levity while astutely implying a truth about transsexuals – many of them started out as crossdressers. Unfortunately, while it makes for a fun observation it doesn’t really provide any useful insights for those who are struggling with their gender identity, or for others who hear that someone they love is a crossdresser.

It’s also easy to describe the difference between a crossdresser and a transsexual by sharing the definition of each word and describing transgender terminology.

It’s more difficult to help those struggling with their gender identity determine whether they are a crossdresser or transsexual, though I’ve made such an attempt a few times.

Five days ago I had sex reassignment surgery. As someone who once considered themselves a crossdresser, and now considers herself a transsexual woman without question of doubt I feel I’m in a position to provide some valuable insight for those struggling with a similar question. It goes without saying that each person is different, and this question is best explored together with a qualified therapist, after all you’ll make life altering decisions based on what you discover.

How Do I Know if I’m a Transsexual?

  • You consider yourself a woman: Crossdressers enjoy being woman for a time, but still consider themselves to be a man. Many are even happy being a man, and indulging their feminine persona a few times a week or month is all they need. Even if they fantasize about being transformed into a woman, crossdressers never seriously consider this to be a long term way of life.
    Transsexuals feel an intense cognitive dissonance between the genders of their mind and body. For me this manifested itself in a constant ‘mind static’ that pervaded every moment. I couldn’t enjoy the fullness of life because of a birth defect that placed me in the wrong body. For some it gets so serious that they seriously consider suicide as the only solution.
  • It’s about who you are, not the clothes: For many crossdressers the infatuation with the feminine revolves around their appearance. The clothes, the makeup, the impossibly high heels. Even for crossdressers who strive to blend in, it’s about being feminine. Being feminine feels good and exciting.
    For transsexuals the entire experience doesn’t revolve around the accessories of gender expression. Another common refrain is, “How do you tell the transsexuals at a transgender conference?”, “They’re the ones wearing jeans”. It’s about who you are, not who you appear to be.
  • You take the good with the bad: Transsexuals realize that there is no escaping being a woman. No time off for good behavior. We can’t decide to be a man for a certain circumstance just because it would be easier. While we may lament the discrimination we face as women it doesn’t factor in to whether we are a woman.
  • Womanhood is messy reality, not an idealized fantasy: If your sole experience of womanhood is as a fantasy, then you don’t have enough information to say that you’re a transsexual. Many crossdressers only experience what they consider the ‘highlights’ of womanhood (It’s another post as to why I don’t believe these are the actual highlights). Nights out feeling sensual, or safe gatherings dressed in their finest feminine attire. The truth is that womanhood isn’t quite as clean or elegant. Many transsexual woman experienced and embraced the messy reality of womanhood before transitioning. If you’re wondering, seek out every day experiences as a woman.
  • Embrace Who You Are

    Gender Identity isn’t a game that you win by being more feminine. The only way to win is to discover where you are on the spectrum, and accept yourself unconditionally. If you’re not a transsexual, that’s okay. If you are, that’s okay too.

    I’ve shared my thoughts on how to determine whether you’re a crossdresser or transsexual. What insights have I missed? If you’re a crossdresser and firm in that knowledge, how did you come to this realization?

No More Transgender Discrimination

At least in Detroit, which recently banned discrimination on the basis of gender identity. This comes a few months after Michigan banned discrimination against the transgendered for all state employees.

As I was reading this, I began thinking about a recent podcast of the Talking Tranny Show. In this podcast Susan discussed the best way to end discrimination of the transgendered. Whether it was by first advancing laws to end discrimination, or by winning the hearts and minds of people. In the end she concluded that, while both are important, winning the hearts and minds of people is more important and where we should focus our efforts first. She says the best way to do that is to come out, be yourself, and give people the opportunity to know a transgendered soul personally, rather than through the lens of Jerry Springer.

Detroit’s recent ban on discrimination against transgendered seems to echo another trend – the love for others starts at home. Locally.

I think it will be a long time before we see federal laws enacted to protect the transgender community. Yet in spite of that, there is growing momentum at the local and state level to provide protection for basic human rights – for all it’s citizens.

I live in hope that love for one another will win over fear and hate. That as we show ourselves for who we are – normal, hardworking, caring people – others will judge us by the content of our character, not the color of our lip gloss.

What Sex is your brain?

I love taking the tests for gender. I’m fascinated with the prospect that someone can take seemingly basic things about my life and expression, and tell something more fundamental about who I am, that I may not even realize. Of course, with any such test there is part science, part art, and part make believe, and we should never let the results from a test determine who we are.

Some of you are probably familiar with the COGIATI test, which stands for the mouthful of ‘Combined Gender Identity and Transsexuality Inventory’ (phew). This test is targeted to Male-to-Female, Pre-Operative people, and should be used as a basis for self-examination, and to consider whether further investigation should be pursued with a qualified therapist.

At the end of the test you are categorized into one of five categories:

  1. Class 1 – Definite Male, typical of the sexual gratification-based, fetishitic transvestite
  2. Class 2 – Feminine Male, mostly sexual / fetishistic but slightly gender involved crossdresser
  3. Class 3 – Androgyne, the serious transgenderist
  4. Class 4 – Probably Transsexual, most common type of transsexual (well over 70%)
  5. Class 5 – Classic Transsexual, the rarest, early onset, ‘classic model of early research’ transsexual

Whenever I’ve taken this test, I either end up as:

  • Class 3 – Androgyne, or
  • Class 4 – Probably Transsexual

I think this shows two things: Firstly that our self perception varies over time, with our moods and our circumstances – something that is important to keep in mind for those who are contemplating a transition. Secondly, for me at least, cross dressing is more than just about feeling comfortable wearing woman’s clothes, but striving to be woman in mannerisms, behavior and thoughts. Whenever I have done this I get a sense of resonance, just as playing a chord on the piano perfectly matches two or three different notes to produce a harmonious sound.

For those who aren’t transgendered

The other day I found a great gender test on BBC, which is among one of the more scientific I’ve taken. They also allow everyone to play along, so you don’t need to be transgendered to take the test. My results are below, showing that my brain is slightly female. When my wife took the test she scored as the typical male (so perhaps we are equally yoked :) ).

What did you score? Did this match up with your expectations?

Is your brain a cross dresser or transsexual?

Before you rush off and make any big decisions based on a gender test, please heed these warnings. Have fun!

Navigating the transgender world: The difference between transsexuals, drag queens and cross dressers

For your typical heterosexual man or woman the transgender world can seem quite perplexing. Not only is the whole concept difficult to grasp (‘you’re a man, why do you want to be a woman?’), but even within transgendered there is great diversity.

None of this is helped by the myths that have become widely voiced within society. To begin with I will first dispel some of the most common myths about the transgendered:

Myth 1: The transgendered are homosexual

This is probably the most common misunderstanding. There is a difference between sexual orientation (straight, gay, bisexual) and gender identity (self identify as a man or a woman). The transgendered identify or express themselves as a gender that is different from one in which they were born. This video gives a good overview of the differences between sexual orientation and gender identity. Most transgendered are not homosexual, in fact the vast majority of crossdressers are straight.

Myth 2: All transgendered are sex workers, adult entertainers or freaks seeking attention

Thank you Jerry Springer for perpetuating this myth! Most of us live normal lives – we go to school / work, spend time with our families and friends and engage in other hobbies just like the rest of society. In fact, being treated as a normal woman is often a sufficient motivation that many of us endure long hours practicing and perfecting our femininity. It is unfortunate that discrimination has forced some transgendered people out of their jobs, and they feel they must turn to less wholesome professions in order to survive.

Myth 3: All transgendered want to get a sex change

This myth still causes controversy within the transgendered community, as some who have undergone sex reassignment surgery (SRS) struggle to understand why someone would act and dress as someone of the opposite sex without wanting a sex change. The truth is that the transgendered experience is a spectrum, from those who only occasionally wear clothes of the opposite sex, to those who undergo SRS and live full time as the opposite sex.

The Truth about Transgendered

I’m always weary of creating nice, neat categories, and then sorting people into these categories. This ignores the natural diversity, and by showcasing the differences can also increase discrimination and instill an ‘us vs them’ mentality. However, even with these pitfalls, I think describing the commonly used categorizations within the transgendered world we are able to have a better conversation about what it means to be transgendered. As you’re reading this, please do not try to define a person by the category, but keep in mind that while people may identify with a particular group it is only a small window into who they are as a human.

I mentioned earlier that transgendered is a spectrum. I’m going to define and discuss some points along this spectrum. For the purposes of brevity I’m going to talk about the male transgendered, though there are female to male transgendered as well.

Transgender: An umbrella term used to describe a person (male or female), who dresses or behaves in a way that is different from their sex at birth.

Cross dresser: A man who dresses in woman’s clothes either part time or full time. Often taking on the mannerisms and appearance of woman. Most crossdressers are straight, and many are in a relationship with a person of the opposite sex. Cross dressers normally do not want to feminize their body, or undergo SRS.

Transvestite: A person who cross dresses. The term cross dresser is preferred, as sometimes the term transvestite is (wrongly) associated with a transvestic fetish (which are those who occasionally use clothing of the opposite gender for fetish purposes).

Drag Queen (and King): A stage artist, host or performer who wears makeup and woman’s clothing with the purpose of entertaining or highlighting transgender issues. If only done for the performance, these people are not considered cross dressers.

Transsexual: A person who has the desire to live and be accepted as the opposite sex. Typically men will feel like ‘a woman trapped in a man’s body’. Having undergone SRS (or post operative transsexual) is not a requirement for being a transsexual. Often times a transsexual will take steps to feminize their bodies (e.g. through hormones)

Intersexed: A person who is born with sexual anatomy that does not fit the typical definitions of male or female. There are many different varieties of this difference, e.g. being born with genitals that seem in between male and female, or male on the outside, female on the inside, or even having both XX and XY chromosomes.

Some valuable resources for continued reading are:

Wherever you are, you are still you

Angry Transgender Shopper

Angry Transgender Shopper

This last week I was reading about Brigitte Fell, a transsexual in Australia who is suing the police because they reveled her past to her boyfriend. This was followed shortly by an article about her violent outburst in a store.

Each time the headlines broadcasting in 20 point font that she is a transsexual, as if that explains her actions, as well grouping all transsexuals into violent woman who are insecure and constantly worry that others may ‘know’ they’re a man. In the case of the violent outburst in a store, Brigitte heard the owner and a customer laughing, and assumed they were laughing at her.

Girls, we have enough negative press from shows like Jerry Springer. The only exposure some of the world has to us is as violent, unstable, angry weirdos, who are at best sexually perverse dregs of society who make for entertaining television. As we know, this describes only a very small percentage of us (I’m going to guess about the same percentage as the general population). We need to work hard to overcome the stereotypes people have. And it doesn’t help when we reinforce them, like Brigitte recently did.

A few days ago I wrote about an Indian transsexual who is starting a talk show. She will be a positive role model for those in India.

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