They say there is no cure for crossdressing

Search the Internet for “cure crossdressing”, and you’ll find a plethora of web pages telling you that there is no cure for crossdressing. They’ll have this statement in bold, italics, capitalized, as if it were some golden truth to center your life on.

The next thing they’ll do is lambaste anyone for suggesting that it is something that needs curing (surely only diseases need curing?!). I’ll address the second point in a later post. As you can see by my previous post I don’t believe that crossdressing is ‘evil’, ‘wrong’, ‘sin’, or anything of that nature. These judgments are distracting and only serve to allow one group of people to feel superior to another, and cover over flaws they perceive in themselves.

I’ll tackle the question of being ‘incurable’ first.

We have a mistaken notion that because we do not know how something is cured, that it is not possible for there to be a cure. You hear stories every week of people who have been cured from cancer without undergoing any treatment, and often just months after the doctor diagnosed them.

Hold on, isn’t cancer ‘incurable’? Or at best there is some chance that the treatment we give (chemo) could facilitate a cure (with no guarantees). How then , could these people be cured without any treatment?!
I don’t know how, but I do know that it happened.

If you are a Christian, I have another challenge for you.
Jesus healed the blind man, and he could see again.
Jesus healed the lame man, and he could walk again.
Jesus told us (John 14:12) that we would do even greater things than this if we have faith in Him.
How trivial it must be for Him to cure crossdressing.

Yet in all our ‘wisdom’ and power we prevent this cure. We have more faith in the incurable nature of crossdressing than we do in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Jesus told us (Matt 17:20) that even faith as small as a tiny seed will allow us to move mountains.
It seems it will take much less faith than that for us to cure crossdressing.
So what can you do right now?

If you believe a cure to crossdressing is right for you (see post below):
1. Ask God to cure you
2. Believe that you are being cured
3. Picture who you will be when you are cured (don’t think ‘not a crossdresser’, bring to mind those qualities of your masculinity you’ll treasure when you’re no longer a crossdresser).
4. See yourself as this person. Be this person.
5. Give thanks to God for your new life. Receive the healing.

It may take a while for the cure to manifest itself in your life. Maybe weeks, or months. Continue picturing yourself as the person you’ll be when you are cured. Continue giving thanks to God for your new life.
Don’t keep asking to be cured, you’ve asked once, just believe that you’re receiving the cure. If you keep asking, you’re expressing doubt that you’re actually being cured.

If you need encouragement or support, please leave a comment.

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About the Author

A woman living in Seattle, enjoying the freedom to be who she is every moment of her life!

21 Enlightened Replies

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  1. Mark Freeman says:

    Hi, I came across your blog when doing a completely unrelated search on net. I am an ex-crossdresser. Not sure how many of there are as of course once no longer a dresser you tend not to come to these sites. Don't know if cure is the right word but I haven't dressed or thought of dressing for over 11 years now. I managed through self taught, and couple of therapy sessions, in cognitive behavior therapy and also reading a lot on sexual addictionstop thought technique. The reason I went through this process is that I come to point where I had started to strongly think about reassignment surgery and this would have had a big impact on those I love. I wanted to share this as I remember the pain and mental anguish I went through those years ago.

    I do miss some of the friends I made through crossdressing but found I had to leave them behind as well in order to start a new.

    • Vanessa Law says:

      Mark, would you be willing to share more of your experience? Please get in touch with me I'd love to chat over email some more [The contact buttons at the top of the screen work well]. I'm eager to hear the perspective of someone who has left this part of themselves behind. I've met countless many who have tried and few who claim to have succeeded.

    • Sophia Grace says:

      I made it to 11 years too. After the 3rd major depression (first started within 9 months of “quitting”) I realized what was missing was bringing me down. My femme side dying was killing me. Now I’m nurturing her I’m feeling a lot better. I wasn’t cured, just in prolonged denial.

    • Mark says:

      Hi Mark
      Can you please provide me more details. I find it facinating you seriously contemplated a gender change and have gone 11 years without dressing. Is the urge there at all? I would think its like alcoholism..you don’t beat it…always fighting it.
      Mark/Marissa

  2. Emily says:

    I wouldn't say there is a cure as such, kudos to Mark Freeman who overcame his desire to dress through willpower and therapy sessions, he is right it does take a lot of courage mentally and physically, also thinking about friends and those you love that you could end up leaving behind whichever path you take.
    Choose wisely for if you go down the wrong route you could end up not feeling happy with yourself and feel depressed as a result.

    Kind regards

    Emily

  3. Racquel Lynn says:

    There is no cure for Crossdressing, because Crossdressing itself is a cure. Crossdressing cures Gender Identity Disorder (hate to use the word "Disorder" because that gives a negative implication but that is the term that is given, so…)
    Sometimes it may only be a temporary relief from malehood (or femalehood if you are F2M) but think about this. If we all have had these feelings of being feminine and wanting to express that but never once dressed in anything feminine, how tortured would we be by the questions that would go unanswered?

    • Racquel Lynn says:

      When we crossdress, especially in the early stages, we realize the identity that we truely connect with. For some, an occasional dressing up in private is more than enough, for others an occasional day out as the opposite gender will do it. For others the need to live and be recognized as a female is imperative, and then for those, like myself, it is clear that we were meant to be female and need surgery to cure us.
      Crossdressing can be a cure for some and a treatment for others. By crossdressing, we get to know ourselves by matching visually what we know is on the inside of us that no one else can see. We learn more about ourselves than we would if we never put on that dress, pantyhose or even just a simple pair of panties.

      • Racquel Lynn says:

        By crossdressing, we each learn what our own individual degree of femininity or transgenderism is. With time we can realize if it is just a fetish/turn on or if it is something deeper and more meaningful. For some, it can be both.
        Crossdressing can be very relaxing and theraputic if you identify as the hopposite sex, no matter what degree of transgender you are or how far along when you are able to spend a little time as the person you feel you truely are instead of what the world expects you to be, even if you are in the closet and only doing it in private, it gives you a sense of joy and relief to just relax as who you feel you are. It gets even better when you have someone to share it with that supports you.
        I think those who think they can "Cure crossdressing" are actually causing far more problems than they think they are solving.
        To me, trying to cure crossdressing makes about as much sense as trying to cure penicillin

  4. Robert (melodie) says:

    First of all there cannot be a cure for crossdressing as it is NOT a disease
    caused by some virus or bacteria. It is a state of being and confusion.
    Some are in denial and are really transgendered. Some may be intersext, but don’t bother to have it checked out medically for fear of the unknown. This last statement I know is true. I have been transgendered since I realized it at age 7. I started wearing dresses at age 11, even though I knew physically I was a boy. I just felt right dressed this way, the way God had originally intended. I to out of fear tried to fight, taking a macho job (police officer), joined the navy special forces etc, etc. However I still could this internal feeling. I found a doctor and hesitantly explained the problem. He ordered a slurry of tests including bloodwork. He told me my Tostesterone levels were extremely low, my sperm levels were well below that of a prepubescent boy (I was 35). That there was an increased level of feminine hormones in my system. He examined my body, I had even realized I had initial started developing breasts, but had stopped for some unknown reason (I never took any hormone therapy, either male or female). ‘t a crossdresser but truly transgendered, but not intersext ( sexual organ developement of both sexual genitals). I accepted it. amily thought I crossdressed as well as a few friends I knew the truth. He (the doctor) also said that all males had this attribute, some developed fully as males while others did not, like somewhere in between. Is this the reason for crossdressing, I don’t know. I do know that if you are a crossdresser then it is possible that a hormonal imbalance could be actually the cause and should be checked out. Forget the fear, while it may not appear natural, it is and in some cases, if wanted can be corrected.

  5. Ellen Cade says:

    I do not believe there is a cure. I have been crossdressing since I was 12. I started with my sisters clothing. It has progressed over the years. After 40, I started going out in public late at night. It feels good to feel the feminine side after trying so hard to stay masculine. It is just hard trying to find the right clothes and wig to make me look presentable.

  6. Ellen Cade says:

    I do not believe there is a cure. I have been crossdressing since I was 12. I started with my sisters clothing. It has progressed over the years. After 40, I started going out in public late at night. It feels good to feel the feminine side after trying so hard to stay masculine. It is just hard trying to find the right clothes and wig to make me look presentable.

    • casey888 says:

      As a hetero-identified male who crossdressed from the first stages of puberty well into well near middle age, I used to think like the others here. “I was just born this way.” “It’s genetic. I will never be ‘cured.'” I had one therapist who never even tried to guess at a solution, other than to suggest I’d be happier if I was bi-sexual, because I’d at least have more dating options. But guess what? You were not born with this. The problem, if you choose to see it as one, stems from what we might call a “misunderstanding” that occurred early on in your childhood. It is my guess that somewhere deep down, those people who grapple with this problem and came here either for help or out of morbid curiosity know this. They may even have a faint memory of something that happened to them long ago: most likely an event in which they dressed by a parental figure.

      After years of a powerfully consuming addiction to internet crossdressing sites (one of the few outlets for those with such a fantasy-based sexuality) and trying to meet a woman online who was understanding of my tendencies, I eventually met a girl who happened to be particularly well studied in the area of sexuality and psychology. I told her basically my whole life story, and she intuitively deduced the root of my problem. Over the next several months together, we worked on various aspects of my life and personality, ultimately culminating in what could only be called a highly traumatic confrontation with one of my parents. And though I didn’t know it at the time, when I got over this trauma, became apparent to both of us that, in that moment, after months of work, I had in fact been “cured.” The next time we attempted to explore this area sexually, my desire to crossdress was simply, shockingly, gone. Not a temporary purge of clothes, which like many of you, I had done several times. No, the urge to dress was simply, unbelievably, miraculously, not there.

      I realize this story for most will be difficult to swallow. Some will suspect there is some crackpot conservative religious pitch coming, or “know” that sexuality is something genetically programmed into us at birth. In a society whose general knowledge of sexuality has faiied to keep up with technological developments that satisfy and even exploit it, most of us with “deviant” leanings will never change or accept the possibility of doing so. But as my girlfriend-now-fiancee says, nothing in this world or in our sexual makeup is set in stone. Straight people can become gay, gay people can become straight, people don’t like sex can become avidly sexual, people who think they can’t stop having it can lose the desire completely. If you want a hint, start diverting your searches for titillating websites to papers discussing the Oedipal drama and the works of Dr. Freud himself, whose theories and discoveries, while still the subject of much misunderstanding and mocking oversimplification (“Tell me about your mother…”), I believe from personal experience hold the keys to certain kinds of enlightenment both for individuals seeking relief from their own self-destructive patterns and tendencies, and for the advancement of a more functional society on a broad scale.

      Sorry to get preachy, but that’s my story. After nearly 2 years, I am still free of those consuming desires that caused so much secrecy and self-condemnation in so many aspects of my life. Make of this all what you will, and good luck in your search.

      • Vanessa Law says:

        Sweetie, I’m happy to hear of your success, and pray blessings on your future. Discovering who you are is important, regardless of what others in society believe or would have you do. Though I must ask, if you’re cured, then why are you commenting on a Crossdressing website?

        • casey888 says:

          Honestly, I just googled “is there a cure for crossdressing”, and came upon this page, as well as many many others with the same basic storyline–one person asks if there’s a way out of this, only to receive the same answer: no, you will dress forever; get a sex change, find a boyfriend, find God, etc.

          I simply want people to know that if they want out, that there are answers, and people who can help. And in spite of what everyone else says about the impossibility of changing, there is at least one person out there has done it.

      • Wilson says:

        Great story. But what was the highly traumatic confrontation with one of your parents about?

  7. Transvestites Anonymous says:

    you know many of the people coming on here are lying to themselves in bits and pieces.
    Cross dressing is identified with being gay is why 100 per cent of women reject men who cross-dress. That is a despicable lie and a very miscalculated assumption.
    Secondly, although once a cross dresser always a cross dresser may be true the fact that you cross dress does not mean you are gay.
    In my own experience I was a crossdresser at age 16 and they ssay im a transvestite because during the crossdressing process
    whether it be imagination or actually using physical clothes there will be sexual gratification and when ejaculated is complete the feeling of dressing up is completely gone.
    At age 15 I had heterosexual relationship with a beautiful woman and my cross dressing was cured . but when she left me the cross dressing came back. So I find as a heterosexual man the when I’m in a sexually responsive relationship the cross dressing desires disapate.

  8. Thorin25 says:

    I believe it is very possible to stop crossdressing. But a cure for it? It depends what you mean by cure. I think you can live a healthy fulfilling life without crossdressing (and without suppressing it and harming yourself). But you may still have the occasional desire for it that you would resist.

    I talk about that in this post, that the desires might never leave, but we can still resist them and live a happy life.
    http://healingcd.wordpress.com/2012/02/05/healing-doesnt-mean-no-more-temptations/

    In this post, I talk about some beginning steps one could take to stop crossdressing for good.
    http://healingcd.wordpress.com/2012/03/18/12-steps-to-stop-crossdressing/

  9. Wilson says:

    Great article!

  10. Trish says:

    Thank you for this article.

    I’m a Christian in my mid-30s and a former cross-dresser. I’ve struggled with it since I was 12 years old. My routine was very odd compared to the usual cross-dresser’s lifestyle…I only dressed fem so I could film myself as I re-enact or mimic a sexy woman being objectified. Bikini contestants and exotic dancers were my favorite role-playing subjects. Since I’m a virgin–yes, it’s true–this was how I justified my lifestyle: if I can’t be with a woman, I’d be my own woman. Admittedly, a lot of my dressing was due to a bit of self-hatred, being treated like an inferior being all through adolescence (and for a particular incident involving me and two unsupervised older boys at a day care center). I sought momentary comfort through it.

    Though I was never gay, I enjoyed posting my pics and videos to social sites, eager to receive adoring comments from so-called “straight” men. To me, it meant that I was doing a credible female impression for them. There were even some videos and photos that I wanted to make with other men, as long as they didn’t involve sex. I quickly discarded that idea, since no male admirer of cross-dressers is going to be teased like that. It’s like asking a hungry man to photograph a buffet, then leave.

    A few months ago, I saw a photo of a beautiful t-girl who had died in a motorcycle accident only a few days after that particular photo had been taken. I began to think about myself, how I had always hoped that I would eventually get bored with this lifestyle and live a Christian life. But I realized how quickly life can end for all of us, no warning whatsoever. I certainly believe in an afterlife, and if I were to die while still being a cross-dresser, I’d have to stand before an irate God as the MALE he created me to be. At that moment, **nothing** is going to matter other than whether we accepted Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior–and whether we’ve kept His commandments. I knew I was in eternal peril, since my cross-dressing persona (Trish) was the idol I served, and the images that I created were being seen by other men, leading them into temptation and possibly destroying their lives.

    I was heavily stressed for the next few days. I sought forgiveness through prayer, and slowly, a sense of calm and assurance flowed over me. If I didn’t know what repentance was before that day, I knew what it was since then. I don’t want that feeling of terror again, and I’m done with that sense of self-hatred and shame. Through my trust and faith in Jesus, I’m finished with cross-dressing.

    I truly appreciate your quotes about Jesus. He healed the blind and the lame. He can most definitely cure the cross-dressing fetish, or any fetish.

  11. Sophia Grace says:

    I made it to 11 years too. After the 3rd major depression (first started within 9 months of “quitting”) I realized what was missing was bringing me down. My femme side dying was killing me. Now I’m nurturing her I’m feeling a lot better. I wasn’t cured, just in prolonged denial.

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