Two weeks ago I wrote an article entitled why do men cross dress? and I asked you to write and tell me – why do you cross dress?
Thank you to all who responded, both on my blog and to my question in other forums. The responses fell into a few different categories:
- I cross dress because it feels natural, “right”. When I crossdress I’m less cranky and feel stress relief. I feel complete, liberated, content.
- I cross dress because I enjoy wearing woman’s clothes, with no particular desire to look or present myself as a woman. It’s fun.
- Woman’s clothes are more exciting, prettier, more colorful.
- I cross dress because I enjoy feeling feminine – presenting myself as a woman, behaving like a woman.
- When I cross dress it’s sexually exciting – I get a thrill out of wearing woman’s clothes
- When I cross dress I’m sexually excited by what I look like wearing woman’s clothes
- I dress because I feel I really am a woman inside, and I’m just dressing in the clothes appropriate to my gender.
In writing this post, I felt compelled to express how different we all are – we each cross dress for different reasons, enjoy different types of clothing, and have different ‘end goals’ in mind. Imagine my surprise at a recent comment on my last crossdressing how to post, which said something to the effect of ‘Not everyone who cross dresses wants to pass as a woman’ and ‘it’s too bad your outlook on cross dressing is so narrowly focused’. Yikes!
As my regular readers know, I try hard to avoid being narrowly focused on any particular denomination of cross dressing. I apologize to my dear reader A if I came across otherwise.
I wonder if there is more behind this though. I recently received an email from a transsexual who said that there are regular flame wars on a forum she frequents between transsexuals and cross dressers. Yikes! again! Has the transgendered community become so diverse that we spend more time focusing on our differences than our similarities? I hope not. It’s only together that we will be able to change the hearts and minds of the world. Only united that we will usher in an age of tolerance and acceptance.
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i love to cross-dress ! it helps me deal with my anger issues ~
i feel so much more relaxed & happier since doin’ it 24/7 !
I’m also a Goth. I love candles and elaborate candle holders, I hate artificial light. I stand in raging storms and enjoy rain and lightning, most people run from it. I enjoy walks in old graveyards and abandoned houses, most people are scared of them. I listen to creepy music sometimes, such as Midnight Syndicate, and I love black clothes, victorian clothes, and many things most people wont associate with. I’m not mentally ill, just different and I was born that way. I slide easily into victorian clothing, vampire clothing, my female side, etc, with ease.
Ever human being is an actor, with props and lines. Everyone becomes a parent, a worker, a student, whatever, and they put on the “costume” and play the part. Me ,I can become my lady side and or the victorian vampire with ease. It’s all part of the show. I simply enjoy it more than most people, especially those who scorn such things as “abnormal”.
Several years ago I met this wonderful woman (Dee), she was open to any kind of sex I want and when ever. She will do anything I ask when it comes to sex, 100% of the time. She also tells me what she wants when it comes to sex, and she also get it 100% of the time.
One night she want to do role refersal, I said ok. She got out her strapon and had her way with me. The next day she came home with some womens clothes and wanted me to put them on. She said if we are going to switch roles you can wear the clothes. I like the way they feel. Soft and sexy when I put them on. Since that day I haven’t woren any mens underwear, just panties and garters, nylons to work. We have great sex every day with each other or some of our friends. I wish I had met her 20 year earlier, what a great time we would of had.
i”ve worn female lingerie since my early teens, maybe before the first time i can remember was in the junior school play when in had to borrow a girls tights to plaY A CAT loved it then love it more now you cannot beat the feel of stockings and a sexy lace garter belt or bustier im now into short skirts and heels
I am a theater pit orchestra musician. I first discovered cross dressing when I played Cabaret. For those of you who don’t know the show, it is set in a Cabaret in Berlin, in 1936, just as Hitler is beginning his rise to power. The entire orchestra is part of the show, and is supposed to be dressed as “drag queens.” In the production I played, they toned the orchestra down a bit, but we were stil all dressed as women. At first, it was a hoot, but as the run of the show continued, I found myself looking forward to changing out of my “man clothes” and into sexy underwear, and female street clothes. At about the same time, my wife and I split up, becasue she wanted to move to Arizona to pursue her master’s degree, and because I always felt so guilty leaving her at home alone,while I went off to play shows. So I started wearing women’s clothing around the house when I was home alone. It helped me feel like there was a female in the house with me. Also, I do find I get a bit of a slight sexual “turn-on” when I am wearing sexy underclothing. I have been “underdressing” now, for the past six years.
Some women I have dated were okay with my proclivity, and some were not. Those who were not, didn’t get a second date. LOL
I occasionally go out in public “dressed” but not often. In my location, it can be very dangerous, if you are “clocked” by one of the local homophobes.
A few years back, I embarked on the “flat-to-fem” program, primarily because breast forms, no matter how good, are uncomfortably hot. It is much more comfortable to have my own breasts and simply wear a bra. By selecting ones that fit properly, I achieve a feminine figure, without discomfort. I have discovered that with bras, like many things in life, you get what you pay for. All of the bras in my drawer are “high end”, costing on average about $50.00 each. But I digress …
I find that when I am dressed, I tend to change my way of looking at problems, and I am much more accepting of feelings as viable approaches to problem solving. I also find myself more attuned to other people’s feelings, even when I am speaking with them by telephone.
I am not interested in transitioning, which is probably a good thing, as I am in my sixties, and probably not a good candidate for all the hormonal and surgical proceedures necessary. I have a few close friends who know tht I cross dress, and I am fond of joking with them that I lived through the nineties, and found the woman in me. They always respond with, “Yes, we see you have, She’s a lesbian, isn’t she?” LOL
Crossdressing from my perspective is more than just a question of why I am a CD. It revolves around why did circumstances dictate how I began. Why did I continue when the circumstances changed. And why do I continue to do it today after 28 years? Is it normal? By society standards – probably not. But for me – it came down to one important facet of my life – Dealing with stress. By dressing up I got a chance to look at my problems from a unique perspective and for some strange reason come up with answers calmly.
Marti – an interesting observation. I’ve heard many crossdressers say they feel a relief from stress when dressed. I hadn’t associated that with better problem solving, and the unique perspective that calm and femininity brings.
I’m going to ressurect this interesting discussion.
Like all crossdressers trannys whatever the world calls us I too started thinking about this side of my life as a child. In my Teenage years I experimented with mums clothes, pinched some Lingerie from the store I worked in as a saturday boy and generaly played with the whole feminine side. As an adult I occasionaly dressed, all in secret, nobody as far as I know had any inkling that there was this other aspect of me. I did grow my hair lon and braided it etc but more as a Steve Tyler wannabe lol lol.
The problem wasn’t mine it was the world I live in. A world that has created clear boundaeries and divisions that are actualy very artificial and in fact change throughout the ages. Cross dressing in men is still quite Taboo (though thank god its slowly becoming more discussed if not yet more acceptable unless its a parody or a means of making fun of people sadly) Yet Women happily wear trousers, jeans, suits even. They are able to cross boundaries in dress and even behaviour far more freely than men at present. Who says its a mans world lol?
As a child I loved dressing upl. Not as a girl particularly. Just in General. One day I would play as a guardsman, a Nasa astronaught, a commando, a cowboy, a knight or a Roman soldier. In secret I was a princess too lol. As a young man I loved performing in dramatic productions. that whole thing of taking time out of the day to be someone else. To live a different life just for a few hours realy exited me and continues to do so. I no longer perform. work and other pleasures curtailed that a bit. But I still enjoy the sense of being someone else. I can do it in my male life too. I’m one person at work, another with certain freinds, another with my loved ones. I’m comfortable with several skins. And they all give me pleasure to inhabit.
I thought about specifically why I dress as a female an awful lot I enjoy being a man as much as I
I finally realised I’m not
enjoy being a girl and have no real sexual interest in men. I’m as
happy in Jeans and a Tshirt fixing an old engine as I am in stockings
and suspenders (see I’m such a man Lol) Its femininty and duality that realy turns
me on sexualy and women do that very very well
gay or transexual but I do have a wonderfull other side, alter ego that I
love to explore once in a while. Its exiting, sexy, and totally fun to
become this person.
I think that is why I have this aspect to me. In girl mode I’m someone else. I look completely different and can explore completely different ways of being. Its fun. Sometimes a little erotic and I think, very healthy.
Jade