Girl friends and wives want to know.
Why do men cross dress?
Why does my husband cross dress?
How can I make him stop cross dressing?
The unfortunate truth, is that there is no simple, one line answer to these questions. If there were, you probably wouldn’t be reading this article, and the debates on this topic would be silent.
In my personal experience, the fascination with woman’s clothes started when I was very young. I must have been about four years old, and I remember going to great lengths to procure and then wear my mom’s nightie. My most vivid memory is as a teenager, nervously buying a pair of pantyhose from a local supermarket and then wearing them home under my pants.
I felt (and still feel) a need to wear woman’s clothes, and I can’t quite explain where it comes from. The media like to think of cross dressing as a sexual perversion, and so naturally they see the desire to cross dress and purely for sexual gratification. The problem with this theory is that when I (and many others) first felt the desire to cross dress I didn’t know what sex was.
Many cross dressers I’ve asked describe the need as ‘feeling more comfortable wearing woman’s clothes’. This is sometimes (but not always) coupled with the desire to be seen as a woman. To not just dress like a woman, but behave like one as well, to wear make-up and otherwise pass as a woman. There are others who cross dress for sexual excitement. The need to cross dress is indeed a spectrum.
That still doesn’t answer the question why do men cross dress?
Marcy proposes a few interesting answers to this questions.
One argument is that transvestism of cross-dressing is a way of offering a challenge to society’s preconceptions about gender. Some men cross-dress because they are unhappy at being men. Others didn’t mind the male state, but also like to put on women’s clothes occasionally. Some men cross-dress simply to make a passing social or fashion statement, and some because they have emotional needs that can only be met by the comfort that wearing women’s clothes gives them.
Yet the true reason why men cross dress remains somewhat of a mystery. It is intensely personal, often confusing and sometimes guilt ridden. I’m hopeful that as society grows more tolerant of diverse gender expression we will see more cross dressers and transgendered stepping forward to share their stories. Without the need to justify their behavior, and no longer shamed by society perhaps we will be better able to answer this baffling question.
Comment and let me know, I would love to hear- why do you cross dress?
Why would you want too? First of all He is your best friend. Why not use this in your favor. Maybe he wants to be the new girl on the block. When you were younger you and your Girl friends did a lot together. Now you have a mate that wants to move into that role. Let him dress let him be your girl friend help him. He may not only be your Husband but he could be you best girl friend too. So you win all around.
Plus I can dress in a skirt a bra and panties but I’m still a man. Just because he dresses doesent mean he doesent love you he just wants to be closer to you and your femmie world .
I felt the need to put make-up on when I was three. I saw my mother putting it on, and I wanted to experiance the feels of it. Little boys love all things related to their mommies. My dad was always gone working, and my mother was there instead. I may have felt his presense, however mother’s was paramount. One day, I got into her make-up, and tried to put lipstick on. It was a really dak red shade. I loved the smell and feel of it going on!
My mom caught me, and started to call me a sissy. I ran out side and hid. She found me and drug me back to the house and proceeded to wash the lipstick off. I was VERY embarassed to say the least. Since that time, I have advanced to clothes and other things female. I find that I am submissive to dominant women (much like my mother?) and love to submit while feminized to them.
It is such a stress relief for my self I find my self in a relaxing state of mind body and soul feeling pretty and soft is such a a great feeling for my self
Hi again, It’s Miriam with an interesting story that happened this past April weekend. A life long friend of mine, that knows all about me since we were 14 asked me to help with a situation concerning his son. It seems that a few weeks back while he was doing some painting in the house, he was clearing out a closet to be painted and came across a pair of high heels, a dress, and some underware. When his son came home from school that day, he sat him down to have a talk and to try and understand what his son was going through. After some time his son told him that his desire to dress as a young girl teenager was becoming over whelming. He hide his emotions from his dad fearing the worse. His dad being very understanding contacted me to help. The next night I went over to see how I could resolve his fears.
After a long conversation we layed out a plan. Now his son knows I’m a life long cd and has seen me many times with his dad, actually he’s only seen me as Miriam so that’s how he knows me. We talked about what kind of look he wanted and what kind of budget was available and made a plan to go shopping on Saturday. Our first stop was at the woman that does my manicure and pedicure. We made a choice of light pink for his toes and lilac for his nails. Then we went to my salon for his hair which is fairly long, and we kept it as a simple pageboy. Our next stop was Victoria Secret’s where I shop and all the girls there know me. We bought 3 bras, one strapless, 6 pair of panties and some thigh highs in light tones. Then on Payless Shoes, because they have some very nice low priced good looking heels and flats. He’s a size female 8. We bought 1 pair of platform pumps, 1 pair of strappy sandals, and 1 pair of pointy flats and a beautiful pair of open toe slingbacks in black and red, and 1 pair of 2 inch pumps. He’s had a little practice walking in heels so trying them on was no problem. Then we went to Avenue for a dress, two pair of jeans and a few tops. After an exhausting day we were headed home very excited of what was going to happen next.
That night after dinner with his dad we started to get ready for the night ahead. I did his makeup in soft brown tones with a dark red lipstick. He put the bra and panties on and gave him a pair of forms that I had from my younger days. He is a perfect size 6 with a 32b cup. He put the thigh highs on, the jeans and one of the tops a beautiful deep red sweater that high lighted his breasts, and the 2 inch heels. I gave him a pair of gold hoop earrings and a simple gold pendent around his neck. He was no longer a he, he was now a she and as beautiful as ever.
We showed him off to his father and he said that it was the first time in months he’d seen his son smile.
She walked around a little to get used to the heels and we set out for the night. We went to a movie and got a bite to eat later. Not one person knew he was a boy and you could see his happiness. He has a very understanding dad that just wants him to be happy, and if that means dressing as a girl so be it. My parents supported me all my life. and now another parent has come to grips with his sons needs. I just thought you would like to read this story. Being a woman is so much fun.
Bless you for sharing a beautiful time with someone who is just discovering themselves!
My boyfriend loves to CD. I love it on him. I have so much fun going out and gettting him new things. I pick out sexy outfits for him to wear. I think he now owns more high heels now than I do. It does add a little fun and excitement to our life.
like so much woman who likes cd
Wanna to talk to one who like that
i dont no how to beging maybe sum1 can help me understand 10 years ago i was w/ a man who i found out liked to cross dress i couldnt understand it i thought he was gay or bi so ultamitly our realationship after 14 years ended there was other factors involved besides the cross dressing so any way i played the dating game 4 five years after that and then finally met a man fell in love had a child and 6 years later i find womens clothes in his drawers and a dildo and i am just soooo confused like how can this be happening to me again im feally having a hard time dealing w/ this i consantly lay awake thinking is he really attracted to me does he like men like do i confront him and tell him i no pleas some1 help me
Amy to start with there is actually a very high percentage of men in the world that crossdress. Some estimates go as high as 20% but cannot be verified because most crossdressers bare such high guilt that no one ever knows about it. The numbers are mostly pure speculation but alot of men do it (80 to 90% are not gay or bisexual). Crossdressing has gotten a bad wrap from the main stream media who always sensationalize the transvestites that hook on the street corners. Crossdressing is mostly an underground subculture made up of mostly heterosexual men. From world leaders to ditch diggers etc.
One of the things you will need to do is step outside of your female way of thinking, ie, Men scratch, grunt, fart, fight and drink beer and if they are not like all men then there is something wrong with them. Females definitely give no tolerance for being different.
A very high percentage of men that crossdress also have a fetish for certain items of womens clothing. Panties, night gowns, hosiery is a very very popular one and I think you get the picture. Wearing these things is very theraputic and there is nothing wrong with that at all. We can’t all be what society says we have to be. I bet if you think about it there is something you like to that would be considered wrong in main stream society.
If the man took the time to meet you, court you and fall in love with you then he is there for you. Crossdressing has nothing to do with you. That is a very common misconception. It is wrong wrong wrong. I bet when he looks at you, you can see it in his eyes. Most crossdressers dream about meeting a woman that will accept him and participate in crossdressing with him. A dream that most never find.
I will also be willing to bet that if you put on your sexiest dress with some hosiey and a sexy pair of heels with your make up etc., that you are in for one romantic night of love making.
I have been through the entire spektrum of having a wife that left me because of it and then realized that she really loved me and that the clothing didn’t make the man. She is back with me after a 6 month split up a few years ago and has become supportive and participative and all of a sudden we don’t have any issues with it.
I am sorry that you may feel stuck or that somehow something has terribly gone wrong in your life but men that crossdress are more likely to talk, shop, express their feelings etc. Take advantage hon and remember it has absolutely nothing to do with you. He dressed before he met you and he will dress if you leave.
To be honest alot of guys like dildos. You see it all over the net. I wouldn’t let that bother me in the least.
If you are so inclined to get him to talk to you about it this may help. Dress up for him. I mean go all out. Be the sexiest woman you have inside you. Go get the clothes he has and lay them out on the bed. When he comes home shuffle him into the shower and then shuffle him to his clothes. You being dressed for him will dis alarm him. Get him into the clothing and make love to him before you even attempt to talk to him about it.
As a matter of fact don’t even let him talk about it until after you make love. once you do that he will not be on the defensive and will spill. Just remember that when you talk to him do not ask him why because nobody has that answer. I mean nobody has that answer? I also bet that your love making will be very sensous, passionate and erotic.
Remember he has had a child with you and has been by your side for six years. The fact that he likes wearing clothing made by man that society has tagged women only doesn’t mean anything in the grand scheme of things. I am sure he is a good man too.
You are more than welcome to contact me personally if you so desire. Cherylteaks@yahoo.com
Sincerely, Cheryl Ann Teaks
So I met a man, a wonderful man, began to fall for him and he shared with me that he is a cross dresser. I care for him very deeply and want to understand, but he can’t explain why he does it. Can anyone help provide some insight or advice for dating a cross dresser? I’m struggling with this, and maybe that means I’m not the girl for him….but I’d really like to try.
Just a girl, you don’t have to try. Just do it. Feel good that he has been brave enough to tell you right up front. It sounds like he is a well adjusted man and is comfortable in who he is. There is absolutely no answer why he, or the millions of other guys do it. Yes I said millions!!!! It is much more common than you think. Most crossdressers are heterosexual men. They dream of having a loving woman that won’t riticule them for being who they are and doing what makes them feel good. It is a simple as that actually. It just relaxes him and makes him feel good. Can’t that be enough of an answer? You sound like a woman that has really fallen for a man. i bet he is caring and good looking and sweeps you off your feet.
Think about this. When you buy a new dress and that killer pair of heels and you do your hair and makeup. Don’t you feel really good about your self?
I have read so many times about how women would love it if their would could show their feminine side. We all have one. But when it happens they question him.
It is the same with the way women pick men. They look for the biggest strongest bad boy they can find and guess what. He treats her like shit. Had she chosen the nice guy, she could have avoided all the misery.
If your struggling with it, that means you care. Perhaps what you are really struggling with is the female way of thinking. The preconditioning of what society says a man has to be. When in reality you seem to have found a good man that has the right to be a free individual to be and do what makes them feel good as long as they are not harming other people.
Dress up for him and invite him to dress for you. I bet you have one of the best evenings of your life.
Sincerely, Cheryl
OOOOKAY people,short skirt wearing time again.But actually i never stopped,when its cold out i just wear leggins with it.I
think i have about 14 or so skirts.I still really like the plaid pleated or solid colour A-line of course.I got one recently from Taiwan.Its blue/grey/black and its real wool.Dang the fit is so nice….
Blake RWTSG (Rock With The Skirt Guys)
Olá meninas. Tenho lido todos os dias os vossos comentários giros e fofos com muita atenção, “mas sempre na sombra escondida”. Contudo hoje decidi expressar a minha modesta opinião e participar. Sou a Patrícia Sofia, uma nina (CD) de quarenta e quatro anos, sou portuguesa. Mas tal como a maioria de vocês minhas queridas, eu adoro ser ela (… )
Assim que eu entro em casa após um intenso dia de trabalho eu liberto-me. Liberto-me vestindo-me completamente de mulher, tenho uma mente e uma identidade muito próprias do universo das meninas, possuo um guarda roupa repleto de lindissimas peças femininas, ( aliás diga-se de passagem que são mais as peças feminis do que propriamente as masculinas). Também tenho imensas fotografias em femme enfim… Na verdade, e mesmo sem nunca ter tomado nenhum tipo de hormónio feminino, possuo um rosto bonitinho e muito feminino e um corpo inegavelmente de mulher inclusive tenho mamas bem desenvolvidas, quase não tenho pénis, e uso gestos tipicamente inerentes a esse maravilhoso mundo cor-se rosa! (Que, aliás, é a minha cor favorita). Não obstante de viver a maior do meu tempo como mulher, na verdade sinto-me muito triste , porque tenho uma alma feminina aprisionada num corpo masculino.
“ Tudo começou tinha eu treze anos. Usava cabelo encaracolado de tamanho médio, era elegante, e tinha rosto de menina ( facto que desde sempre me caracterizou) e era meio delicada nos meus gestos, e por acaso realizava-se uma passagem de modelos na cidade onde eu estava a passar uns dias. Precisamente dois dias antes do desfile a azáfama em torno das expectativas do mesmo eram enormes. Então a minha mãe e eu fomos ver os preparativos do desfile. Acontece que uma das raparigas participantes sofreu um acidente, e começaram rapidamente á procura de uma substituta. Foi então que uma das senhoras da organização viu-me e como eu era muito bonita e convencida que eu era mesmo uma rapariga dirigiu-se á minha mãe para esta autorizar a que eu desfila-se como modelo. A minha mãe “ a rir-se ”, explicou á senhora que ela tinha feito uma enorme confusão, que na verdade, eu era um rapaz e não uma rapariga. A senhora pediu desculpas mas não se importou minimamente com aquilo que ela chamou um minimo pormenor facilmente corrijivel . E então fui eu a escolhida para substituir a outra rapariga. Ou seja a dois dias do desfile vi-me sentada de um momento para outro numa cadeira de um camarim rodeada de várias pessoas que me maquilharam, esticaram-me o cabelo e puseram-me estenções. Vestiram-me sutiã e cueca a condizer, colocaram-me um lindíssimo vestido branco de renda , também vestiram-me collants ,calçaram-me sapatos de saltos altos e pintaram-me as unhas, enfim… fiquei muito feminina e linda! Dai a pouco já estava a desfilar. (Ou pelo menos a tentar), já que os sapatos de salto eram um problema. Mas como faltavam dois dias para o desfile e eu tinha de esperimentar várias roupas á noite e ensaiar ainda bastante e face a alguma dificuldade no meu caminhar com saltos altos. A dona da agência aconselhou a minha mãe a que ela caminha-se comigo um bocado pela cidade, e que eu fica-se o resto do dia vestida como rapariga para me habituar ao vestido e aos sapatos. A minha mãe mais uma vez riu-se divertida. Ela que tinha entrado naquele pavilhão com um filho pela mão, saiu de lá com uma filha. Eu sentia-me feliz! Estava adorar cada minuto daquela experiencia (Pela primeira vez da minha vida) sentia que era aquilo que eu queria. Sai para a rua vestida de menina, e assim fui com a minha mãe às compras. Confesso que a sensação que senti foi única, tão maravilhosa! Toda a gente pensava que eu era mesmo uma rapariguinha. Assim após caminhar alguns quarteirões, eu já estava mais habituada a caminhar com os saltos altos. Mas o melhor ainda estava para vir, como eu estava tão perfeita e parecia mesmo uma rapariga genética. A minha mãe decidiu participar ainda mais activamente “ na brincadeira”, E nessa noite cuidadosamente colocou-me uma rede no cabelo para não me despentear emprestou-me uma camisa de noite dela para eu dormir. E foi nessa noite sozinha no meu quarto que eu descobri a rapariga adormecida que existia em mim. E desde então (não ligando a mentes preconceituosas, embora encoberta assumo outra identidade) e sou a Patrícia Sofia.
Se algum macho (activo) ler este texto e me quiser para mulher, estou disposta a ser fêmea para o resto da vida.
Beijinhos doces.
Patriciabacelar1967@live.com.pt