Girl friends and wives want to know.
Why do men cross dress?
Why does my husband cross dress?
How can I make him stop cross dressing?
The unfortunate truth, is that there is no simple, one line answer to these questions. If there were, you probably wouldn’t be reading this article, and the debates on this topic would be silent.
In my personal experience, the fascination with woman’s clothes started when I was very young. I must have been about four years old, and I remember going to great lengths to procure and then wear my mom’s nightie. My most vivid memory is as a teenager, nervously buying a pair of pantyhose from a local supermarket and then wearing them home under my pants.
I felt (and still feel) a need to wear woman’s clothes, and I can’t quite explain where it comes from. The media like to think of cross dressing as a sexual perversion, and so naturally they see the desire to cross dress and purely for sexual gratification. The problem with this theory is that when I (and many others) first felt the desire to cross dress I didn’t know what sex was.
Many cross dressers I’ve asked describe the need as ‘feeling more comfortable wearing woman’s clothes’. This is sometimes (but not always) coupled with the desire to be seen as a woman. To not just dress like a woman, but behave like one as well, to wear make-up and otherwise pass as a woman. There are others who cross dress for sexual excitement. The need to cross dress is indeed a spectrum.
That still doesn’t answer the question why do men cross dress?
Marcy proposes a few interesting answers to this questions.
One argument is that transvestism of cross-dressing is a way of offering a challenge to society’s preconceptions about gender. Some men cross-dress because they are unhappy at being men. Others didn’t mind the male state, but also like to put on women’s clothes occasionally. Some men cross-dress simply to make a passing social or fashion statement, and some because they have emotional needs that can only be met by the comfort that wearing women’s clothes gives them.
Yet the true reason why men cross dress remains somewhat of a mystery. It is intensely personal, often confusing and sometimes guilt ridden. I’m hopeful that as society grows more tolerant of diverse gender expression we will see more cross dressers and transgendered stepping forward to share their stories. Without the need to justify their behavior, and no longer shamed by society perhaps we will be better able to answer this baffling question.
Comment and let me know, I would love to hear- why do you cross dress?
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Hi everyone I’m new to this page but I have a burning question that’s been driving me crazy! Any advice or opinion is welcome. A few weeks ago I found some ladies clothes in the bin at my boyfriends house, he claimed they were things from his ex this is just the start- a week or two later I also found a huge strap on under his bed! I haven’t seen it since and that seemed weird- a week ago I decided to do a little snooping and found a pack pack under his bed full of womens clothes (… Read more »
Perhaps it was for games with his ex. Or maybe its just some junk she left behind. Only way to know is to ask, but its tricky for sure. Maybe just be up front and ask. If you are open and honest etc, and your relationship is going okay just take it slow I guess.
Hi. I think only you have the answer. Only you lnoe your man. Many CD’s as me are completely straight and faithful. It just happens we like to be femenine and sexy from time to time. Society is full of double standards. Women can wear men clothes without problem and still be sexy. Why men can not?
I dress as pregnant woman.I have walked with other pregnant women,we meet once a week to have lunch.
Low self-esteem for lack of appreciation from women.
I don’t think anyone should cross dress it is so hurtful to a family. I did not know my husband was a cross dresser intell we were married for years I think what my husband did to our realationship was unforgivable and I will hate this about him. I will never see my husband the way I used to and I feel has if I have been so use
Hi Lisa! I understand how you feel. I started wearing my mother’s stockings and slips around age 12. I have no idea why I like to wear girls clothes. I fought the urges for many years to no avail. Like all crossdressers you finally have to come to the conclusion that the dressing will never go away. I apologize to you for what we do. Acceptance is the only true path. Please try to see his side of things. I hope and pray things work out for you both! Jennifer.
I’ve been asking myself for years why I like to wear girls things. It all started around age 12. With my mother’s stockings. I’ve had long periods of not dressing but the thoughts never go away. At first I thought it was a sexual thing but it goes much deeper than that. I purged many times to no avail. The urges never go away. The crazy thought of a “cure" is pure folly. I live day to day with it the best I can. Right now in fact all I want to do is slip into my stockings and garter… Read more »
Well this is good question. I personally dress because it makes me feel sexy and naughty Marcia mischief is my femme name and I have been dressing for about a year now but I am also happy with my male self too and also happily married. My wife found some transexual porn on my computer about 3 yrs into our 16yr relationship it was awkward to talk about at first but I have always been attracted to crossdressers/transexuals we sat down and talked about it and luckily she was very understanding and encouraging with me and we have grown on… Read more »
Hi. I’ve recently have the “balls" to crossdress. Since I was a little boy I have always been fascinated by the female body. I remember playing dolls with my sister and secretly try on my mom’s clothes. As a teenager I fought it. I tried some of my mf’s clothes a few times over the course of 15 years. I understand I’m a male. Heterosexual and I’m ok with it. I just have preferred being born as a girl. I’m 35 now and I finally found the courage to embrace my inner femme. I told my gf, my sister and… Read more »
Hi all being crossdressing since 13 wearing my Mum and sister clothes. Why I done it is because for a long time before I crossdress for the frist time I knew I want to wear girls clothes and when I did it just felt great. It helps forget all the worries I have and I love feeling so girly and that’s I love to crossdress and be myself Shannon
I have been cross dressing ever since the age of four because I shared a bedroom with my older sister who enticed me to do it! A therapist said I had a identity problem. I wish to be a girl, but at the same time like being a guy. I am way to masculine outwardly to pass as a girl; so I dress up privately. Even so, I do have the nerve to shop for women’s clothes in public and it gives me such a rush! I have always been attracted to girls and at the same time wanting to… Read more »
I enjoy dressing up in women’s clothing but do not feel the need to do the wig, make up and high heels. I find that it is a stress relieve for me. I can come home and then have a shower to wash off the day and look forward to putting on my knickers, pantihose, dress or skirt, with or with out slip or camisole and then go about my night doing what I do. I have become someone else and can forget the stress of my occupation and relax as a person. I suppose it is a way for… Read more »