Dear reader, every Monday for the last few weeks I’ve been sharing a valuable crossdressing resource with you. After browsing through a few suggestions I’ve received so far, and links from some of my favorite web sites I felt I needed to say something..
Are We So Ashamed Of Crossdressing?
Really, are we so ashamed of crossdressing that we ask people to leave our website? Every other website I browse to has a large warning, a caution against material that discusses ‘transgender issues, or ‘issues of a mature nature’.
Once you actually enter the website, many of these website are not run by pariah’s. Rather, they’re supportive, funny, enlightening, helpful and caring. They shine a balanced and sensitive light on transgender issues.
I fully understand and would encourage warnings for sexually explicit materials, even if they’re just the written word. But why oh why do we put warning’s on our websites?
Are we afraid that reasonable discussion of taboo subjects would corrupt the character of society? Or is it more personal? Perhaps we’re still ashamed of crossdressing, and want to warn others before they can encounter our true selves.
We need to be the first to take a step into the light. Be proud of who we are, secure in the knowledge that we’re not perverts or deviants. We may be different, but our differences should not shame us. We’re a thread in the tapestry of humanity. As important and beautiful as the other threads, all woven together on this planet we call earth.
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P.S. We’ll pick up where we left off next week. Please share your favorite transgender or crossdressing website with me by emailing vanessalaw@crossdresserheaven.com – include a brief description of why you like the website. In the meantime, why not join a local crossdresser support group in your area.
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Vanessa is a happily married 30 year old transgendered woman from Seattle. It's been a long road to acceptance for her, despite the fact that she has been crossdressing for more than 25 years. Sometimes, when she looks in the mirror she longs to see the girl that lives
within her. 
15 Comments
Forget the warnings… It’s not me be ashamed of who I am, more like it’s my own family who is. Whether they understand it or not, I have been shunned by at least half my family for being who and what I am.
My wife’s family flips a wig at any remote sign of me showing any kind of femininity.
Warnings? I’ve not encountered any via the web unless it is “Adult” related stuff.
Is it get out clause for the casual web surfer?
I remember seeing these warning, but I’ve never felt the need to put one on.
I run into a good number of blogger.com spots that have the adult warning too. More often than not, there is nothing (to my thinking) that qualifies as mature audience only content. With that said though, it is only my thinking.
I suspect that many bloggers put this extra cautionary wrapper around their blogs to suggest that it will take maturity to appreciate the content behind the curtain. Not a bad suggestion, and not a bad standard to hold the audience to.
Perhaps motivated less by shame, than by truth in advertising. Maybe a scootch of both in some cases …
Glad you are out in the open at any rate my dear.
Honestly, I’m not sure what to make of it for those who put up those kinds of warnings.
Although, I’ve not ran into it myself, there are some of you who are.
If there is nothing sexually explicit about the site, then why have the warning?
We, the American people, are hidden behind this shroud of secrecy for far too long. Women in Europe go topless, while for Americans it’s a taboo.
My feeling is this, if a man can go topless, so should a woman. But, the main problem is that American men idolize women.
Now, add in the mix of M2F’s and Crossdressers? It can make for an explosive situation due to a lack of understanding and with the live and let live.
Should warnings be put up by bloggers about their site? Not so much as a warning, but information.
Something along these lines: “You are entering a site which discusses Gender Identity & Transgenderism. If you are comfortable in continuing, please press ‘HERE’. If you would like to leave the site, please press ‘HERE’.”
Anyway… Those are just my thoughts.
Personally, I welcome most: “Motorcycle mania, and a man in a dress. What’s not to like? ”
I always think those warnings are ridiculous. It’s almost a come-on: beware, within these walls, there are forbidden fruits to behold! And then you find out it’s just regular apples and oranges.
Carolyn Ann
I know exactly what you mean. I do not have any kind of warning or notice on my blog that I talk about cross-dresser related thing. Well, the fact that the blog is titled Confessions of a Cross-Dresser should clue most people in! LOL
I think some people may do it thinking that it will help to avoid any legal issues of minors viewing their site. But they are far from the truth if that is what they believe.
Good post!
It’s crazy! I agree; many of these websites with these warnings are full of insightful and thoughtful advice… and the sites that do need the warnings, well; they don’t have the proper information for those searching the web.
I’m definitely proud of the progress that’s being made today…people are putting their hearts into better quality sites and treating them with the respect they deserve. These sites, including mine, have amazing resources, support and information that t-girls need.
I don’t really think it’s a legal issue, I think society has played a huge part in it also. Thanks for this!
I’ve enjoyed reading the comments and your opinion. I look forward to reading and commenting more in the future. xx
When I first started blogging I ticked the ‘Adult Content’ box on Blogger so everyone was warned about what they might be in for.
Later, I told myself “This is silly!” There’s nothing obscene in my blog. I’m just an ordinary ts girl – like tens of thousands of others – trying to make the most of life, having some fun on the way and making friends.
If I unwittingly came across a blog written by a guy with one leg, would I be offended? Of course not!… and if people are offended by the inoffensive way in which I express my sexuality then it’s they who have the problem.
Angie, I think perhaps that’s what most who do go through. Just to be extra safe… I’m glad you removed the warning though! Carlyn Ann perhaps has found some reverse psychology. We know how tempting it is to do something once we’re told not to. Though, they would already be on your site if you hadn’t put the warning up, so not quite sure what you’re getting out of the reverse psychology.
Mandy, here – that’s a way to give them a heads up. They’ll sure know coming from Google what they’re in for.
Patti, you’ve got some good observations about culture, I think as a whole the American culture is both over sexualized, and afraid of sexuality. We use sex to sell anything from deodorant to cars, yet can’t seem to get comfortable with our own gender and sexual identities.
To your comment Petra, personally, I think the first page of your website should be where they find out what it’s about. Should Amazon say ‘you’re about to enter a shopping website. You could spend all your money, go into debt, get behind on your mortgage payments, lose your house and spend five years fighting with your spouse over money. Click here to shop. Click here not to shop’?
It does amaze me that in the US we so highly value individual rights, yet don’t think people are mature enough to make choices when anything gets close to sexuality or gender expression. I guarantee that more lives have been ruined through misleading offers from banks, insurance companies, promises by drug companies, etc. than by a transgender website.
Thank you all for your thoughts on this post!
I am not ashamed of being a crossdresser, in fact, I am very glad to be able to “dress” as a woman and explore the wonderful world of “feminity”. I applaud Michelle and you, Vanessa, for your comforting words and thoughts. I truly believe that “my feminine side” is where I am more comfortable. I like your analogy of hitting a little white ball around a golf course versus getting a manicure and pedicure and beauty treatment. Obviously, my choice would be the second, Vanessa. I feel for Michelle deeply and her thoughts. I feel more emotions and thoughts and nice girl feelings when dressed as “Patrice.” Patrice loves “herself” (sounds so nice, herself, when dressed.) By the way, Vanessa, thanks so much for your website. It is so helpful to “girls” like me.
Hugs,
Patrice
I love it Patrice!! Thank you for your response, we need more of us to proudly proclaim, ‘We are not ashamed of who we are!’.
Thanks again, Vanessa. As “girls”, I feel that we should be supportive of each other, especially since our situations deserve any all all support we receive. If you have an understanding and supportive wife, gg, significant other, tell them “thanks, give them a “hug”. I love being a “special girl” and obviously, wish I could have been a real one for many, many years. You are a very nice girl, Vanessa, and I feel we all want to give you one of those great big hugs. Thanks
Patrice (again !!!!)
rjb7839@aol.com
I thought I was the only one who felt this way.I have very deep feelings that I am not being faithful to my loving wife.In the closet and think I may never come out.
i am not ashamed tobe a crossdresser. it is a big part of me. when i can
dress efem and be about in public it is a great feeling. it is to bad that the
rest of the world have tobe so closed minded.
phyliss
I have been transgendered all my life. Ive been crossdressing as a boy since I was young, but then Im a girl. Back in the 50’s and 60’s you didnt dare expose your feelings or people would think your crazy. Really. That was a bad time for TS’s. Dressing as a boy and having that knowledge inside was really hurting me. Ive been out for about 35 years as carol. Still have no trouble at all. Im full time now. Older though. Going to get my mismatched body fixed soon and never look back.
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