I gazed around the room. Every lady was well put together – to an individual her outfit was coordinated and appropriate to her build. Her makeup was subtly and carefully applied. Her hair styled with the love of a salon owner. These ladies had clearly learned how to crossdress, they had avoided the most common crossdressing mistakes and then some.
Yet as I looked at many of these lovely ladies I couldn’t help thinking “man in a dress”. That thought stunned me – these women could all be role models in the crossdressing community. They had cultivated their appearance and would be the envy of any just beginning their crossdressing journey. It also made me pensive – if that thought so quickly entered my mind, and I admired their appearance so, surely I’ll be read even more quickly? In fact, what hope is there for any of us to pass as a woman?
After mulling it over for a few days I finally figured it out – these ladies made 2 crossdressing mistakes. Mistakes we all make.
Crossdressing Deportment School?
Men are relaxed to the extreme. When they sit they spread out, taking as much space as they need to fully relax every body part. When they walk they take up space, and they slouch. Their shoulders stoop over as if finally bending to years carrying the heavy load of masculinity. Woman don’t slouch – woman sit and stand up straight. Watch woman next time you’re out shopping, and compare their posture with the men you see. If you can catch a multi-gendered checkout line the difference will be immediately obvious.
Now “stand up straight” might bring to mind a relative you know who is in the military. There’s nothing feminine about standing to attention as if preparing to salute the president. To get a more feminine posture you need to think “in and up”. Roll your shoulders back and gently drop them. Pull your elbows in and lift your torso up as if you’re a puppet on a string, with the string coming through the crown of your head. Lean slightly forward and then soften your posture. To make good posture a part of your daily routine I highly recommend taking up yoga – many of the poses will help undo years of bad habits that gives us all the inevitable slumping forward.
The first mistake these lovely ladies made was to slouch.
Life’s Not That Bad, Is It?
It was clear all the ladies were deep in concentration – learning the latest tips on how to present in a more feminine manner. Their brows were furrowed, their lips pressed together in a contemplative frown, and their face pulled down as if they were wrestling with the information presented. It was also clear that this look was working against their desires to pass as a woman. For most men their face “at rest” is in a slight frown, yet most woman have a more radiant, open and uplifted face. This can prove quite a challenge for transgender woman, since most of the time we don’t think about what our face is doing until we express an emotion.
What can we do about our propensity to frown? Find something joyful in every moment, and let your joy show. That’s much more effective than plastering a fake smile on your face – and as a bonus you’ll feel better too 🙂
Do you want to avoid other crossdressing mistakes?
If you want to hone your feminine presentation I highly recommend you purchase the ultimate crossdressing guide. And practice practice practice! You’ve spent years hiding your true self, and it will take time to break through all the masculine walls you’ve built around yourself.
With love and blessings,
More Articles by Vanessa Law
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- I Want to Live Like That
- Hope in Despair, Light through the Darkness