Today was a first for me, a big first too. I wore a skirt! In public! With people nearby!
So what’s the big deal, you might say? Well, it was a big deal for me, let me explain.
I’m in my 40’s, and besides you, my beautiful followers, and my wife, no one I know in real life knows of my “hobby”.
A couple months ago, I started seeing a therapist for a variety of reasons, one of those reasons was to address my cross-dressing and come to terms with it.
On day one, I ripped off the Band-Aid and told her I cross-dressed. She was very understanding and maybe more curious about it than anything and I found out later that I was the first person she had ever had in that chair who was a crossdresser–or at least the first person that she knew of.
At my last session, I told her I was under-dressing, and now there was someone, other than my wife, who knew what was underneath. She said she was going to give me “homework” or a “challenge”, with regard to dressing, at our next session. However, after talking to my wife about it later, she agreed with me that I should beat my therapist to the punch and wear something simple, like a skirt, to that next session. Nothing crazy, nothing flashy, not even that obvious.
After careful consideration, I picked a simple, loose-fitting, black, knee-length skirt, boxers, T-shirt and some HeyDude shoes. I didn’t leave the house wearing the skirt, but chose to carry it to the truck (in case I wanted to chicken out). Then, it was the longest 15-minute drive of my life and when I got to the parking lot, I sat in my truck for fifteen minutes trying to convince myself to get out and walk in. I am in the military and my therapist is at the medical treatment facility on post so obviously, there was a high chance of seeing somebody I know. The emotional distress was almost too much to bear.
I said to myself, ‘eff it, I’m doing it’. No one’s going to know, or care! No one is even going to notice through their own self involved thoughts and lives. I was wrong, a few people noticed, but nobody cared. Why should they and why should I care if they care!?
While in the waiting room for my appointment, I was so nervous, I was shaking, but after doing my deliberate-breathing exercise, I was able to calm down, just in time for her to come out and get me.
Just over an hour later, I walked out of there with a new sense of confidence and calmness. All of my anxieties were gone. I left with self-assurance and a smile. I owned it and I can’t even begin to express how happy I was that I went through with it.
She did, however, have to change my “homework” assignment since I’d already pre-empted her for this session. My next challenge was to either:
1. Go out on a lunch date with my wife to a public place, wearing whatever I would feel comfortable in, or
2. Tell one or both of my daughters (aged 17 and 21) of my “hobby”.
On the drive home, I kept the skirt on and ran through a million different scenarios in my head, knowing that at least one, if not both my daughters would be home.
I pulled into the driveway, and with my shorts now in hand, I walked inside. My hope was to use it as an ice breaker (if they noticed and/or said something) to help me with starting that conversation, but to my disappointment, one daughter was in her room and my other daughter wasn’t home. The wife saw that I was still wearing the skirt and just smiled. She said she was very proud of me and that meant so much to me. She’s the best! Ever!
Sadly, I had chores and yard jobs to do, so I changed back into my shorts and went to work.
I have two weeks to my next appointment and to decide on which challenge to complete.
What do you think? Should I do a lunch date with the wife? Or tell one, or both, of my daughters?
Latest posts by Lacey B (see all)
- A Big First for Me - September 6, 2024
Hi Lacey,
Wow what a great story,I remember my first time in public, It was exhilarating. My therapist knew but she never saw me dressed. My late wife knew and encouraged me to dress in public. She was a sweetie. Having the blessing and encouragement of your wife is one of the best blessings ever. Have fun and enjoy your passion.
Stevie
THAT WHICH YOU SEEK ,
is seeking you.
If, IF, you.already care for/love and respect your self, you will.
Put on a pretty skirt, or a lovely dress, and go to dinner with your supportive wife !
You will LOVE the feelings
I do hope everything works out, you went through a lot on your own.
@Lacey B well done on such a huge step!
Anna x
Imagine telling your therapist that you did both. A lunch or dinner date would be the easiest to start with, and would be a great time to discuss telling your daughters. I don’t know their ages, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t suspect something already. People have told me that they suspected something long before I came out in public. Now it’s so obvious that no one is surprised.
I don’t think it’s an “if", but a “when" situation.
Hi Lacey. Definitely lunch first as well as dinners out in your full regalia with your lovely wife. Get comfortable being out and about, and most importantly: CLAIM yourself. That’s what my wonderful supportive wife told me not long after we met. Whenever I get nervous being out and about with her, I remember to claim myself and all is well. As for your daughters (lucky you!), follow your wife’s lead on that. If she is comfortable with it, do it by all means. Otherwise, let it be until she is okay with it. She will need to have your… Read more »
I applaud your bravery. I will go out in femme with groups. I will not do alone. Too much violence in our current society. I saw a therapist on Zoom and told her this along with a lot of other things. It did not even create a ripple.
I’m with you here Alice, heck I thought the therapist was negligent with her “homework” assignment of the lunch date advice. Is she volunteering to come as well? I don’t know how passable you are Lacey B, but still, it’s frickin dangerous out there – even when we’re in drab mode. Tell your daughters first – you know they love you. The general public you never can tell.
Go on lunch date with daughter AND wife,! Ther will love you dad.