I have been crossdressing all of my life. Most of it in shame and with many purges and then regrets and wishing I could get the clothes back.  As far as I can remember back I would dress up whenever I could and have always loved dresses, skirts, panties and bras.  Ten years ago I decided that I needed to accept who I am and went to a pride event to support the trans community and get out as Nicki.  I never went!  I drove to the event and was dressed but could not get out of the car.  I don’t think I had ever been out in daylight before so I sat there, and sat there and drove home.  The following year I decided that I would make it so I had to go and signed up to volunteer at the pride event.  You would think after 40+ years of crossdressing it would be easy but it was still so hard and had I not signed up as a volunteer I would have gone home.  But I had said I would volunteer and that was what I had to do and be the good person that I am.  I opened the door and left my worries behind to walk out there in my dress.  From that day my confidence was boosted dramatically.

From there I would go out dressed up more often and gathered a number of dresses, shoes, wigs and undergarments.  I met some people in the community and joined a few groups on Facebook to meet other local crossdressers. I would go to a few events a year and enjoyed it more and more.  Pride season became such a happy time with me going to pride events as Nicki all over the city.  I would dress up at any chance that I would get but it was never enough.

Through Facebook I gathered other friends who dressed as girls and in 2019 I saw that a group of girls were going to Las Vegas for five days as girls.  I decided to bite the bullet and go, so after a lot of hesitations I clicked the book button and I was on my way.  After a lot of soul searching I decided that this was full on Nicki time and did not take any male clothing at all.  TSA, was done as a girl, check in at the hotel as a girl and yes I spent five days in a dress and loved every minute of it.

The following year I went again and this time with more courage and spent most of the time out and about in Vegas dressed as a sissy and was proud to do so.  Then came COVID and a fatal blow to the business I had been doing for most of my life so I needed to replace my income.  I decided to do this as Nicki and started a carpet cleaning business.  The first job was similar to my first pride event with it taking a very long time to get the courage to open the van door and get to work.  But I had scheduled an appointment so I got out of the truck and cleaned the customer’s carpets.  I had earned my first hundred dollars as a girl and was very happy about it.  It took about six months of hard work but I had a business that was viable and profitable.  Every morning as I get ready for work I proudly pull on my panties and am excited to be going to work as a girl.  Never in my life would I have dreamed that. I would be working as a girl in a dress for ten hours a day six days a week but that is what I do.

Visit Transgender Heaven

It has now been twenty-seven months since I first cleaned carpets as Nicki and I am as busy as I can be every single day.  Of course this has a flip side to it which is the cautionary tale of my story.  I now have to dress up every day because this is the income that I need to pay bills.  Right now I am perfectly happy to shave my body and pull on a dress to go to work but maybe one day I won’t be and this is my full time job and I need the income.  Even if I wanted to I cannot purge because I am now known as the carpet cleaner who wears a dress to work.  It is my branding so it could be impossible to change or at the very least difficult.  I have thought of the future and wonder if I will still be as happy as I am now doing this in five years’ time?  I have thought about changing what I wear but am happy to stand out and it has been a huge benefit to the business wearing my dresses.  I now have uniforms that have my company name on them so I look more business-like and signs on my van also.  So for now I am living the dream and get to spend most of my days a Nicki.

Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedules to read my article! Now please take another few minutes to send in a response to my article or answer one or more of the questions I’ve posed to you below:

  • Do you have a job where you can dress en femme every day or any day you want?
  • How did your fellow coworkers react the first time they saw you in a dress or a skirt and top?
  • Do you live in a part of your country where cross dressing is more acceptable than other parts of your country?

Thank you girls and I hope I’ve served as an inspiration to you!

Sincerely, Nicki



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Catharine Connall
19 days ago

Thank you for this Nicki. I think it s the quality of your work that matters not what you wear. As long as the work is good you should be fine, with most people at least. To answer your questions, no. no one has ever seen me dressed en femme and definitely no.

Shannon Davis
19 days ago

I am the same way when I go out. Even though it has been 7 or 8 times now, every time I sit in the car for at least a few minutes before getting out. Dressing at work does add a whole new level of excitement. Especially if it is a more traditionally male dominated conservative leaning career with the chance of random stops by law enforcement.

Miss Lollipop
Active Member
17 days ago

I can actually fully understand your situation. Thank you for posting in such a relatable and comprehensive way. I am in the same situation, although a dis-similar industry. But I decided to step out and do this as the ‘female-me’ – many years ago now, and I understand the, ‘trappings’ of which you speak. It’s now a labour of love and full-time commitment. ..I can’t back-out now as I’m vested and seen as such by my company also (which is also super-progressive, and fully supportive, no problem). It’s an interesting [quandary] situation to be doing what you want, the way… Read more »

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