Crossdressers be careful of Facebook

To my dear readers,

One of my passions in life is technology. I’m a self described geek and enjoy following the latest in technology news and updates. Whether it’s the latest gadget from Apple, a new service from Google or a pre-release version of Windows 8 I’m there. Reading about them, playing with them – admiring what they do well and learning from what they don’t.

I’ll admit that in the past I’ve had a love/hate relationship with Facebook. Facebook is a wonderful tool that allows me to stay connected with friends and family, yet at the same time seems to disregard the privacy of those who use it with abandon. About a year ago there was the ‘beacon’ incident, where purchases made on other websites showed up in your Facebook feed – which alarmed those who bought something innocuous, and did far worse to others who had bought things they’d rather remain secret, like an engagement ring for a beloved.

Privacy settings seem to miraculously change as they ‘improve’ the service, and I’ve had a hard time keeping pace with what I’ve actually disclosed to whom. Yet what Facebook announced this week terrified me, and as a service to those in the transgender community I want to share this warning so you’re not caught in a nasty surprise.

EnFemme Style

What has Facebook Done?

This week Facebook announced new ‘frictionless sharing‘ which in a nutshell lets a website show your friends what you’re reading without you even clicking a like or share button. The website will ask you for permission once, and from then on every article you read will be announced to all your friends.

Decide to linger on the New York Times article about transgender discrimination – now your friends can find out. Take a few moments to click through to a story about a cross dresser – good thing those closest to you are so understanding as you accidentally out yourself.

A few months back I wrote about the best strategies for protecting your cross dressing secret on Facebook, but I fear that these will no longer be enough. In my opinion if you use Facebook you’re just one mistake away from telling the whole world you’re a cross dresser.

How to Protect Your Crossdressing Secret While Staying in Touch With Friends

Of course, it’s not as easy as telling you to stop using social networking sites. After all, the sense of connection enriches your life and allows you to grow closer to those closest to you. I am going to advise that you strongly consider switching to <a href=””Google+ and encouraging all those you care about to do the same. The privacy model on Google+ is dead simple. You can create circles by adding people to them, and when sharing you decide which circles to share with. What you read is never shared unless you explicitly click the +1 button on a website – avoiding any nasty surprises.

With Google+ you are in control of what you share and with whom.

To the best of my knowledge all the ‘Like’ buttons on Crossdresser Heaven will only share once you click it and will continue to behave that way. If I discover anything to the contrary you’ll see all Facebook integration disappear from Crossdresser Heaven.

Please, be careful out there.



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I’m passionate about creating a safe space for everyone in the transgender community to find laughter and friendship on their journey. I completed my physical transition in 2011 and through it I lost everything, and gained everything. I am blessed that I was forced to gaze inward and embark on the journey to discover and live my authentic self. My deepest wish is that all who wander here may find peace, happiness and freedom.
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Aina Love
Aina Love
12 years ago

I think if you go into privacy settings and turn off Instant personalization that should take care of most of it. But im not 100% sure there so take it with a grain of salt.

Wendygrrl' class='avatar avatar-64 photo' height='64' width='64' />
11 years ago

Thank you for the heads up and sharing with us…I do lead a dual life as a part time girl, sigh…

Melanie Collins
Melanie Collins
11 years ago

Maybe the easiest way to ensure privacy is to have one account for boy mode and one account for girl mode. And never the facebook twain shall meet!

Active Member
6 years ago

At one point and time not too long ago facebook came out with a statement that was going to make drag queens and cross dresser’s alike use they’re real names and not a fictitious one. And one does have to admit that some of the names people use are ridiculously obvious that it couldn’t possibly be someones real name. However I don’t think they enforced it. People have the right to not only privacy but to call themselves whatever they want. This almost reminds me of the tabloids where reporters set out to expose people who are living the lives… Read more »

Vanessa Law
Vanessa Law
12 years ago

Ahh, worth a try, I hadn’t heard that one. I’ve heard that logging out of Facebook might help, and removing all the apps from Facebook should also stop this.

jenny hindmarsh
jenny hindmarsh
8 years ago

too late was the cry , so it will be tough tu-tu as far as i am concerned! who was it that said
:- “frankly my dear i just dont give a damm”
it wernt me then but might well be me now!
and if anyone take exception to these words i do applogise

Trusted Member
7 years ago

Thank you Vanessa, I am the total opposite to the geek world, I can turn this thing on and click this or that but I have zero knowledge about what goes where and how far reaching these things can be; it makes me want to shut down my fb page completely because they sure don’t seem to have an ounce of respect for the rights and privacy of the folks who use it. I’ve heard horror stories about fb and it really does make me want to say, just text me from now on lol Thank you for sharing this,… Read more »

4 years ago

Some very helpful information
For me staying off Facebook


Victoria Egger
4 years ago

I do not use facebook at all. I have never trust it for this very reason.

Trusted Member
3 years ago

Thankyou Vanessa, I so wish I had your computer skills girl omg!!

Namaste’ n big huggles

Trusted Member
3 years ago

Oh my gosh! Thank you Vanessa for making us more aware of all this. How safe have you found Chrome’s incognito mode for preventing this kind of data sharing?

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