At this time of year we give gifts to our friends and loved ones, and while some might think it selfish, I think it is important that we give something to ourselves as well. Each of us here on the site has a feminine side that we acknowledge to a greater or lesser extent. Some display that side proudly, revelling in the expression of the part of ourselves that we feel embodies a significant portion of who we are. Others are not so fortunate and for various reasons, fear of rejection by friends or family, lack of financial means, fear of ridicule by society, these folks hide this part of their lives from some or everyone. In fact some of them even hide it from themselves, refusing to acknowledge their intrinsic nature as having any feminine characteristics.

This suppression can cause severe internal stress and tension as you can no more deny the feelings deep within your soul than you can stop water flowing downhill to the sea. Certainly, one can build a dam to hold the water back but even dams need to have spillways that can be opened from time to time to release the pressure from the periods of heavy rain and snow that inevitably occur over time. If these spillways are not used, then the pressure on the dam continues to build until it is finally overwhelmed and the flooding waters burst forth, destroying everything in its path.

So too with the feelings and desires inside us, which must also occasionally be allowed to “spill forth” in a controlled way. Whether it is a small trickle like underdressing beneath our male clothes, or a more significant release like going out dressed completely, the expression of this part of ourselves needs to occur, or we may find the dam bursting and the destruction this may cause in our lives might be irreparable.

So give yourself the ‘gift’ of accepting that these feelings are not an ‘illness’ or ‘infection’, but rather a part of your inherent nature that helps make you the wonderful human being that you are, and that your friends and family love. Be respectful of the feelings of those in your life but don’t let them smother this part of you. Each of us deserves the right to be who we are. Make a promise to yourself to not be ashamed of the feminine part of your soul. Express that side of yourself on a regular basis; for some that might be daily, for others weekly and for still others perhaps once a month. Don’t let the pressure build to the point where it erupts explosively. Whether publicly or privately, let the light within you shine. It will make you a better person and just might inspire someone else to do the same.

PS There is a companion piece to this in the Relationships forum titled “A Gift OF Ourselves”. I hope you will read that as well if you haven’t already.


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skippy1965 Cynthia

The Original Cyn, or OC for short. Cynthia is from Richmond Virginia, she crossdresses every day (lucky gal!) and has a knack for tracking down niggling technical issues so we can fix them. She is also on a journey of self-examination to figure out where her feminine journey will lead her, and is always willing to talk with others about their feelings and questions or her own. Update January 2023- the above was written by Vanessa on my behalf back when I joined in 2015. So much has happened on my journey since then. From a shy CD who had hardly been outside as herself to being pretty much full time Cyn 24/7 now. I told work about me and started HRT last year. Everyone knows about me in my life now too. I've socially transitioned for the most part but not sure if I will do anything regarding legal name or any surgeries at all. It's taken mea long time to accept myself for who I am but the site has helped me reach that level of self-awareness. I say dating below but that's just the best status I can say. I have a friend who is very special to me that I HOPE will be more a life companion as time goes forward.

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7 years ago

Beautiful article loved it and yes we should give ourselves a gift every now and then. Thanks Cyn.

sean crosbie
sean crosbie
7 years ago

Crossdressing Experiences

7 years ago

That truly is a gift!

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