At this time of year we give gifts to our friends and loved ones, and while some might think it selfish, I think it is important that we give something to ourselves as well. Each of us here on the site has a feminine side that we acknowledge to a greater or lesser extent. Some display that side proudly, revelling in the expression of the part of ourselves that we feel embodies a significant portion of who we are. Others are not so fortunate and for various reasons, fear of rejection by friends or family, lack of financial means, fear of ridicule by society, these folks hide this part of their lives from some or everyone. In fact some of them even hide it from themselves, refusing to acknowledge their intrinsic nature as having any feminine characteristics.

This suppression can cause severe internal stress and tension as you can no more deny the feelings deep within your soul than you can stop water flowing downhill to the sea. Certainly, one can build a dam to hold the water back but even dams need to have spillways that can be opened from time to time to release the pressure from the periods of heavy rain and snow that inevitably occur over time. If these spillways are not used, then the pressure on the dam continues to build until it is finally overwhelmed and the flooding waters burst forth, destroying everything in its path.

So too with the feelings and desires inside us, which must also occasionally be allowed to “spill forth” in a controlled way. Whether it is a small trickle like underdressing beneath our male clothes, or a more significant release like going out dressed completely, the expression of this part of ourselves needs to occur, or we may find the dam bursting and the destruction this may cause in our lives might be irreparable.

So give yourself the ‘gift’ of accepting that these feelings are not an ‘illness’ or ‘infection’, but rather a part of your inherent nature that helps make you the wonderful human being that you are, and that your friends and family love. Be respectful of the feelings of those in your life but don’t let them smother this part of you. Each of us deserves the right to be who we are. Make a promise to yourself to not be ashamed of the feminine part of your soul. Express that side of yourself on a regular basis; for some that might be daily, for others weekly and for still others perhaps once a month. Don’t let the pressure build to the point where it erupts explosively. Whether publicly or privately, let the light within you shine. It will make you a better person and just might inspire someone else to do the same.

PS There is a companion piece to this in the Relationships forum titled “A Gift OF Ourselves”. I hope you will read that as well if you haven’t already.

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skippy1965(Cynthia)

The Original Cyn, or OC for short. Cynthia is from Richmond Virginia, she crossdresses every day (lucky gal!) and has a knack for tracking down niggling technical issues so we can fix them. She is also on a journey of self-examination to figure out where her feminine journey will lead her, and is always willing to talk with others about their feelings and questions or her own.

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23 Comments
  1. Rosalind Christine 1 year ago

    Thank you Cynthia for such an insightful post. Though I’m yet “closeted”, as I read it, it seemed as though a light had been turned on and I experienced confidence and assurance being poured into me. Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays!!!

  2. Leonara 1 year ago

    Thank you for another beautiful article.
    Merry Christmas happy and healthy New Year.
    Leonara

  3. Deb 1 year ago

    Thank you Cynthia for your post, it is a gift in itself!
    We cannot change who we really are.
    Happy Holidays!

  4. Cyn – your post is so timely and beautiful. We really do need to accept ourselves for who we are. When we can do that we are happier, and that happiness shines through in our dealings with others. I also think the feminine part of me is maybe the best part.

    Hugs,
    April

  5. Bronwyn 1 year ago

    I’m in the sad position that i have been a closet dresser for 30 years. Having said that, many in my small town know that i am a cd, but none have seen Bronwyn. Its a cross i will have to bear….Bronwyn

  6. Jaimelynn 1 year ago

    Cyn…very well put and could not agree more.

    Thanks…Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

  7. Samantha G..... 1 year ago

    Great article Cyn !!!
    Merry Christmas to you and your family !!

  8. cyn – i love you, you are a gift to all of us here!!!!!!

  9. cyn – you are a gift to all of us here, love ya!!!!!!!

  10. Jamies time 1 year ago

    A great story Cynitha it is such a great feeling to be able to dress I know myself the more I go out in public I am more confident each time.I would like to wish you and all of the girls at CDH a merry Christmas and many new dressing years to come,I love you all

  11. Tina Calloway 1 year ago

    Thanks Cynthia,
    Just as doubt sets in words like this come along and I don’t feel all alone. Merry Christmas girls and Happy New Year.
    Tina

  12. Lynn 1 year ago

    Very well put. The need to dress is just like you said. For me I get very agitated and quick tampered if I don’t dress regularly. Thank you for sharing

  13. Tanya 1 year ago

    Beautifully written, cross dressing is part of who we are. I believe that I wouldn’t be the same person I am today if I wasn’t a cross dresser. Merry Christmas girls!

  14. Jackie K 1 year ago

    Your post is both insightful and inspiring. Thanks for putting so elequently what I think we all feel. Once again you have shown us that we are not alone and that each of us is a bueatiful wonderful person that has so much to offer. We can not keep who we are bottled up inside us but accept and rejoice in who we are. Thank You Cyn for expressing it so wonderfully and Merry Christmas to all

    Jackie

  15. Sallysim 1 year ago

    Lovely article Cyn and well written too. I know I’ve not been able to be around here much lately and miss you girls so much. You echo my feelings exactly and now that I am not living life in the public eye as much as I was, the privacy I now have is giving Sally the freedom to flourish and bloom. I’m not frightened by who I am, I accept and love who I am and the opportunity is now there for full time Sally bring it on I say xxx

  16. Jennifer1cd 1 year ago

    I am the happiest when I am here .Jennifer gets to have a voice. To talk to friends . to be the girl she wishes she was. To come out in the open,to be free, act like a girl ,talk girl talk,,be one of the girls.Laugh,cry,advise,help others. It is the life we live and the road we travel. It is who we are. I love all here Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays

  17. April Lynn jones 1 year ago

    Thank you for you’re post Cynthia. I simply loved it. Merry Christmas to all you beautiful ladies,and happy new year.

  18. Kari Bryant 1 year ago

    Well said Cyn, 🙂 A very thoughtful piece. I have also been down that road. I have begun to realize that hiding is not always the best medicine for my sanity. I’ve spent a life time allowing the internal struggle to consume and play havoc with my true self. I’m reaching forward and looking for the day of true acceptance. Thank you for the article. Have a great holiday. Huggs

  19. Danielle P 1 year ago

    Thank you, Cynthia. I love my feminine side, and I am able to dress occasionally. My wife is supportive, because she knows it makes me happy. My other family members, however, are not aware of Danielle, though. They are very conservative, and I doubt they would understand. Danielle desperately wants to be seen, but the stress of a lifetime of trying to be “normal” still has a hold on my life. I am torn 2 different ways. I would love nothing more than to dress fem 24/7, but I’m still fighting an internal struggle with what I’ve been conditioned to believe, versus truly reaching out and being brave enough to be ME. Baby steps, right? Some days, though, I just want to take the leap.
    Thanks again, to you, and to all the other ladies here. You are a reminder that I’m not alone on my journey to womanhood.

  20. Pinkie 1 year ago

    Beautiful article loved it and yes we should give ourselves a gift every now and then. Thanks Cyn.

  21. sean crosbie 1 year ago

    Crossdressing Experiences

  22. VanessaC 12 months ago

    That truly is a gift!

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