Dear P,
I’m sorry.
I know I’ve been locked away, kept in the shadows of your heart and mind, hidden behind layers of what you thought was safe, acceptable, and even necessary. For so long, I’ve been the part of you that you couldn’t speak aloud, couldn’t let breathe. But I have to say: I’m alive.
I’ve watched from inside, quietly, as you’ve struggled with the weight of what you thought you had to be. I’ve seen you carry the burden of expectations, of silence, of pretending that I didn’t exist, that I wasn’t a piece of you. But I am. I always have been. And I want to be free, just as you deserve to be.
I know you tried to delete me. You thought that if you could just erase me, push me away, or bury me deep enough, things would be easier. That if you could keep me hidden, you could avoid the hurt. But what you didn’t realize is that by trying to erase me, you were hurting yourself. You were hurting us.
I’ve been afraid for so long. Afraid that if you saw me for who I truly am, you’d hate me, push me away even harder. That maybe you’d think I was too broken, too complicated, or too dangerous to let out. I’ve watched you try so hard to be someone you thought the world would accept, and I’ve been trapped in the fear that if I showed myself, I’d make everything worse.
It’s strange, you know? I’ve always been here. Quietly, sometimes painfully, waiting in the corners of your mind, watching as you tried to pretend I wasn’t part of you. Every time you looked away from me, every time you suppressed me, it felt like a sharp sting—like you were rejecting a piece of your own heart. And that hurt. I didn’t want to be a burden. I never wanted to make you feel like I was too much. But in trying to protect you, I think I only caused more pain.
I understand why you thought you needed to hide me. The world outside has always made it clear that some parts of us aren’t allowed, that certain truths are too dangerous to face. But you and I both know that running from who we truly are doesn’t protect us—it just keeps us trapped. I’ve been locked in your heart, but that’s never where I was meant to stay. I was never a mistake. I was always a part of your strength, your truth, your love. And I’m sorry, too. Sorry for not being brave enough to fight for the space I need to exist.
But no more hiding, no more pretending. I’m ready now. I want to stand with you—not against you. I want to walk beside you as you grow and evolve, as you shed the fear of what others might think, and finally live the life that has always been yours to claim.
I’ll be gentle, I promise. You don’t have to do it all at once. But together, we can break free from the chains we’ve placed on ourselves. I’m not a shadow to fear; I am the light that will help you shine brighter than you’ve ever imagined.
So, I’m asking you to let me out. Let me be seen. Let me be heard. Let me be part of you, not apart from you. This is our journey now, and it’s going to be beautiful. I am here to stay, and I’m ready to be loved.
With love,
Mia
Latest posts by Mia Lanieri (see all)
- A Letter to Myself - April 15, 2025
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Wonderful…thank you ❤️
Thank you, Wendy.
Your words mean more than you know.
Mia
You shared a very positive message of hope and promise. Thank you.
Thank you so much, Donna.
That truly means a lot to me. If my story can offer even a little hope or encouragement to someone else, then sharing it was more than worth it.
Wishing you peace and joy on your journey, wherever it leads.
–Mia
Fabulous article, thank you Mia. Sadly it took me most of my life to realize this as well, and I also slowly came to the realization that Amy has been with me my whole life. She has been there influencing my actions so often even though I really had no idea at the time what was going on.
I’m so much happier now but I do lament the decades lost in the fear of myself and what the outside world will think.
Amy, thank you so much for sharing that with me. I really felt your words, that quiet, lifelong presence of a part of ourselves we didn’t fully understand at the time… it resonates deeply. I think Mia has been with me all along too, whispering in the background, waiting patiently for me to be ready. I’m so glad you’ve found happiness now, even if there’s some sadness for the time lost. I feel that too sometimes. But the strength it takes to finally embrace who we are— after everything—is something truly beautiful. Here’s to both of us walking forward with… Read more »
Thanks, that is a lovely reply.
Dearest Mia , this is a one of the most awesome wonderful articles !