A Memorial for Dawnie Saxton

A Memorial for Dawnie Saxton 

I have been asked to write a memorial for Dawnie Saxton. this is my attempt to describe and honor a truly great person with mere words: 

I sat before a computer, nervously checking out a new site I had just found. I was confused, frustrated and I felt alone. I have been dealing with my gender dysphoria all my life and I desperately needed to find some outlet for it. This wonderful site I had just found was Crossdresser Heaven. It had articles that helped explain the things I was feeling and the confusion I had about myself. There was also a chat site where other CDs and Trans ladies could share their struggles and more importantly the successes and victories they had achieved. There were others like me there but there was one voice, a friendly supporting voice, that help calm and assure me I was not some freak but another beautiful person who was lucky enough to be able experience both genders in one life. That voice belonged to Dawnie and I will be forever thankful that we became friends. Does this story sound familiar? I know it does because I have heard many ladies repeat it. 

I have observed that many grow larger and better in their death than they actually were in life. The wife beater becomes the loving husband, the cheap miser will become magnifically charitable. In Dawnie’s case there is no need to justify her life, her life and love are manifested by the friends and family she leaves behind. She like all of us had faults, but the gift of humor and wisdom she had and shared overshadowed her faults and in the end of the day it was her love and gentleness you were left with. 

For those who didn’t know her well, Dawnie worked hard all her life, doing many jobs, the job she loved the best was the job she retired in, a Union Truck Driver. She worked her way up from working the docks, to driver, then to a Teamster shop steward. She was married to one wife who gave her 2 lovely daughters who in turned gave her 3 grandsons. Her wife died after a long illness though which Dawnie cared for until her death leaving her a widower who continued to take care of her youngest daughter who lived with him until her death. Her oldest daughter made her a grandfather with 3 grandsons ages 17, 7 and 1. She was elected a planning commissioner for the City of Donald and became the first openly trans woman to hold an elected office in that city. She was an avid photographer who loved to take pictures of aircraft which was another interest of hers. These are a few highlights of a fulfilled life 

Dawnie was instrumental in fulling my journey and transition, without her I know it would have been a much bigger struggle and I may not be as far or happy as I am now. She opened her heart and house giving me a safe place to dress and start my first steps out. Herein is another passion of my friend; helping other girls find themselves giving them a helping hand getting out dressed up for the first time. She was willing to meet anyone in drab if it made the other girl more comfortable any time. The first time we met we were in drab meeting Ellie May who was going through a very hard time and Dawnie helped council and befriend her. The list of girls who Dawnie has helped is extensive, I can think of at least 7 girls where she had helped out for the first time. She had an open invitation to any girl who wanted to meet up and I continue to extend it that is the least I can do in honor of my friend. 

Dawnie and our road trips were a central part of our relationship as road trips are a safe way for CDs to begin exploring the world around us and at our age, they are easy on the joints. Some of them became legendary in chat not so much for what we would do but Dawnie’s ability to tell ability to tell a story with humor and fun. She never fabricated anything about them but she never hesitated to embellish them a bit. As I sat by her for the last time, all those times we had rolled through my mind and over and over scenes from those trips came forward each bringing a smile to me. Her knowledge of this area and its history made her a joy to travel with. She was a true truck driver though and though; I could tell how well she felt by the vigor she had when she would cuss out the car in front of us.   

I realize this is a memorial but a memorial is not the way I chose to remember my friend. Dawnie’s passion was that others not suffer the things she did because of her gender. Like many of us she knew at a young age who she was but because of family constraints, her dad beat the crap out of her when he found out, and societal pressures, being trans was illegal when she was growing up, she like many of us denied, hid and suffered for years simply for being us. She was determined to help other ladies avoid things she went through and allow them to flower into the beautiful women they are. So instead of a memorial, I propose that we become a testimony for her, by living our life free and happy with who we are. Let’s continue to help promote trans and CD issues and themes and reach out and help other ladies blossom. Dawnie knew that for every lady who steps out and lives free would tear down a board in the wall of oppression we face, allowing younger ladies to live their life free. That would be a life Dawnie would approve of and would be the best testimony we can leave her.