Inspired by Sophie’s Song (Sweet Butterfly)
a song written and performed by Walter Trout

I hadn’t listened to this track for quite some time, mainly due to the vast amount of music I have in my collection. I came across a file on my computer, in a folder that I use for my blog site, and was curious to learn of its content, it being a music file; I don’t feature music on the site. The file was named Sweet Butterfly. I clicked on it and the music began. At first I couldn’t identify the artist, but as soon as the vocals began, it clicked – Walter Trout! He is an artist, whom I have nearly all of his recordings. I quickly made a search for the song; finding nothing! Onto the internet, where I soon discovered the real title of the song was Sophie’s Song! What? The thought bounced around for a brief moment; now it was starting to make sense. It was a song that I was originally attracted to because of the title – surprise!

Sweet butterfly

Listening to the lyrics of the song, I found that I could identify with them in another way and not as intended by Walter in his rendition of the song. They relate more to an earlier point in my life; before I was able to begin transition and when I was only able to take solace in periods of time to pacify my needs to be Sophie.

I see your image every day and night
and I reach out and you’re not there.
So I ask God to hear my prayer

Below is another extract that I feel conveys the self-distancing that we can go through when unable to be the person we are; being so close and yet so far away at the same time!  Within our moments of struggling with a dual life, and in our desperation and pure need, we ask God to help us resolve the conflict. Many of you can identify with these lyrics, some may not see my interpretation of them, but I have an underlying instinct that I have learned to trust more lately. So, I share this with you to show that we have many threads that connect us all; ones we can follow towards our own destination, with a shared knowledge and support that we are not alone. We are part of a very strong community, which collectively could be a powerful force in the world, if we ever unite on one front.

And when you float on away
you remain inside of me
in a hidden place
no one else can see

This reminds me so much of how I spent a great part of my life! There was a time when I would reflect on those moments, tears easily rolling down my cheeks as I felt the sadness and sorrow those memories induced and gave life to once again. Now I can revisit memories of my past life without being reduced to tears. I am not certain that all of the sadness will ever dissipate.

Emerging into a new world

I recognise and understand the difficulties I put myself through; yes, I did mean to say ‘I put myself through.’ That’s exactly what I did; nobody else is directly responsible for any of it. If I went through a form of metamorphosis, it must have been one of the longest ones. But now, I have my wings and they look beautiful, shimmering in the sunlight, brightly coloured, not too big or too small, and suit me just fine. Soon I will be able to fully expand them and ‘fly away sweet butterfly.’

More Articles by The Author

The following two tabs change content below.
I began this journey the day I opened my eyes for the very first time. I found this site at a time when I needed support more than any other point in my life. I had chosen to transition after years of internal turmoil, failing to be able understand or accept who and what I was. My life moved on at a pace that I found hard to deal with at times, but I managed. Living alone in the South West of France life was far from simple or easy then. Then, I discovered this oasis online, finding love, understanding and support unequalled to anything I have previously come across. Dare I suggest, my other family! So, why return after leaving about two years back? At the point, my life was moving at a pace that I was just about able to keep up with; everything I had believed, understood and built my life around, up until that point, changed almost overnight. I am very settled in my life now living as a woman, with friends and a social life, all while being the happiest I have been. I am in the medical system here after overcoming many obstacles, now with the hope of surgery this year to complete my transition. I have returned here in the hope that my experiences and knowledge can be of help to others in this community. When very young, I dreamed of being a girl, going to bed at night hoping I would awake as a girl. After realising that wasn't going to happen, I shut down that wish and lived a repressed existence from that day. It took a lifetime of unintentionally hurting myself and others, regretfully! Perhaps that's the one true regret of my life!

Latest posts by Sophie Frenchie (see all)

Tags:
5 2 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
1 Comment
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
skippy1965 Cynthia
Ambassador
Trusted Member
skippy1965 Cynthia (@skippy1965)
3 months ago

Great insights, Sophie! Reminded me of my “article https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/sometimes-she-screams-krista-pm-to-cyn-about-title/ . It took decades but I finally listened to that voice and Cyn will never again be relegated to the shadow. While I don’t know if my destination is as far along as yours, I do know I’m not going backward.
Cyn

1
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x
Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from Crossdresser Heaven.

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Log in with your credentials

or    

Forgot your details?

Create Account