First… Thank you to everyone who reached out regarding the editing positions. I have been in touch with several and we have two who will be joining and a couple of others who still may.
So… before we can get into more specific details on the “How to be our Ideal Woman” we must first cross the ravenous gap between our fantasy image and our reality. Both are equally important in our journey and our evolution. As I previously stated, we have the Fetish stage, the trial stage, and the “this is me” stage we all typically navigate. This is also what I called, “Girlie,” “Feminine,” and “Woman.” They say men are more visual, but I believe we all see first and then rationalize. Our senses provoke us, remind us, and entice us. The intoxicating scent of perfume, the feel of satin on bare legs, the red painted, manicured nails, the taste of lip-gloss, the sensation of long hair caressing our cheeks and shoulders. These things draw us in, and they also draw our attention when we see them on others.
What is our “A reflection of Image?” As crossdressers, we tend to turn a blind eye when looking at ourselves in the mirror, even when scouring through the multitude of pictures we take. We are captivated by the feminine aspects; the legs in nylons and high heels shout femininity while the further our eyes climb the less feminine we look. It might be our choice in clothing and how it fits (covers) our masculine attributes. Many times, it’s what we wear that showcases (negatively or positively) our feminine wiles. We can be great at makeup and hair, nails and accessories and miss dramatically on the ensemble. I get it. I want to be a sexy supermodel, a stunning mature office secretary, or a provocative socialite. And… I can be in the right image of what I have to work with. We spend a lot of time looking at the pictures of women and other CDs who Look Good! They are our examples to study and emulate. What does a large woman wear and how does she do her hair and makeup to present an alluring version? Here is another thing for us to note. Because of our general characteristics, it is easier for the majority of us to look 10-20 years younger as a female than in our drab mode. If you are 60, you don’t have to look like a grandma (unless that is your desired look.) Our faces are tighter (in general,) our hips smaller, our legs leaner, and our necks thinner. On the other end, our middles are larger and our shoulders and arms broader. This is before considering our hair or general bone structures. Heavier men can pull off makeup more easily and manipulate shape. Thin men can add padding and erase the years but may find their face limiting their makeup or their arms and legs looking bony instead of thin. Wonderful the difference in testosterone and estrogen on the body shape. That’s why utilizing our clothing selection within our “Image” will give us the best presentation.
I adore the sundress or spaghetti strap, but with only my male chest, I come off looking out of proportion when accounting for the broader shoulders and wider tummy. Some of it I can manipulate, but putting breast forms in will most likely end up showing, falling out (if not secured by adhesive), or showing the patch of back hair I can’t seem to reach. Not a problem if I’m only dressing for myself at home and taking pictures. You can wear the breastplate and hide the ends with longer hair and a wide necklace. Masterfully done at many of the “Transformation” studios. On our own… Pairing our outfits is important. If you wear skirts and tops, the best choice is to have one of them be solid and the other a pattern, unless they are a matched set.
Who are you? Me… I like to view myself as the mature hottie; the one who all the wives in the neighborhood hate because she’s always put together and has attention-grabbing legs, chest, and hair. The makeup does enough to make others guess at her true age. I may be 63, but I can pull off 40ish. I have abandoned loose-fitting tops and dresses for form-fitting. I have 5 sets of breast forms ranging from B to E. Sometimes the dress determines which I wear. What fits my padded hips and rear won’t necessarily fit those E forms. I’ve also learned to zip the dress and then insert the forms… if it’s possible. I can exhale on the air and not get that zipper past the trouble zone. You know what I’m talking about. That one spot where it stretches the most. For those of you who have trouble with zippers (I do yoga so I can do my own) taking a metal hanger and straightening it out will help or others use a hook and string. When the dress is zipped, the chest prominent, my heels matching, and the hips yelling out their feminine shape, I don’t even have to look at my face. My reflective image is in the mirror.
I’ve gotten more used to those sleeveless dresses rather than having long sleeves, ¾ or short. The only issue is with my shapewear or bra showing. With some outfits, it is okay and normal, but not with a fitted dress. I may skip the shapewear top and wear the pants style that also does my stomach, utilizing one of my smaller-sized bras to help with keeping my forms in place. When in doubt… I go smaller. It took me a while to get used to seeing “all of me” in the mirror by wearing fitted clothing, but now… it is my reflection, and seeing myself in a top or dress that isn’t tends to get it into the “Sell” or “Donate” pile regardless of how pretty or expensive it is. The best advice is to play around with styles and colors. It makes a huge difference in what your hair color is too. What works for a brunette may clash for a redhead or blonde. The color of nylon can work with one shoe color and not another. Tan almost always works; black is for darker colors (dresses with black in them or skirts). I know they cover up the hair on our legs, but consider buying shiny nylons in tan or coffee. Patterned nylons work better with skirts. It really is a matter of what you are wanting to draw attention to. Is it your legs, face, figure, chest, or hair? We see that first which is our attention grabber. When I see a woman (or CD/Trans) walk by, I see them as feminine, and then my eyes go to their legs and work up. I note (like many women do) the things I think they got right and what might have been done better. I also do my best not to judge based on where I see them—at Walmart, at church, or out shopping. We all have our moments when the only effort put in was to get dressed and to go grab whatever it was we needed. I’m talking about those who put some effort into their presentation. Others might see the eyes first, or the chest. We quickly form an opinion and then substantiate or dismiss it based on the follow-up observation. For me, I see that they are feminine, notice their legs, and then note their overall presentation. This is what will happen to us when we are out in public.
What do you want others to see? What is your reflection of image? What are your strongest attributes? Define those to be the best feminine presentation and that is what others will note. They will help to bypass the lesser things… broad shoulders, big hands, well-defined muscular legs and arms, etc. Why is the trend for women to have long hair? Remember the short and sassy or the tight curl perm? Older women are keeping their hair longer, adding some wave or soft curl. It hides the imperfections. It speaks to femininity and youth.
Until next time…
Be happy in the moments of expression and find the courage to broaden your perspectives; you just might find your true image…
Brina
More Articles by Sabrina (Brina) MacTavish
- A Small Fortune
- Resident Editor and more needed
- How do you do it?
- Girly… Feminine… Woman?
- And so it goes…
Sabrina (Brina) MacTavish
Latest posts by Sabrina (Brina) MacTavish (see all)
- A Small Fortune - September 2, 2024
- A Reflection of Image - July 28, 2024
- Resident Editor and more needed - July 18, 2024
- How do you do it? - June 22, 2024
- Girly… Feminine… Woman? - May 23, 2024
I’ve always seen myself as having a “demur woman" type in my head. Even as AMAB. When I dress now I see myself as a mature librarian. Long maxi skirt, a long sleeve blouse or sweater set. I wouldn’t say sexy but just classic feminine. I am introverted so demure appearances work better for me. I have tried a lot of looks over the years but just keep coming back to this style. I am finally being my authentic self. Feels nice to stop masking for society’s sake and just be me.
@Christina Cross Excellent sentiment! Thanks for sharing 🙂
Yeah…sorry. I could only read, “Something something, something something something…" AND OMG THOSE SHOES ARE FABULOUS! 😍
I have another pair that is Pink and gold. I found them on Amazon after page after page searching. Other color options were available and the price very reasonable. They are also wonderful to wear. (mine are a size 12 women’s).
An additional *comfortable* pair, you say? And in a size 12?? 🤔
(starts looking for ticket to Iowa) Don’t move! I’ll be right over!
😉
I’m a full time girl, an intersex female, so I have many natural feminine features, which is a definite asset! I work, as a woman, at the security desk of a government office. I am seen, and accepted, as a woman who is 15 to 20 years younger than I actually am. I am very picky about my clothes, have always loved nice material that is not only pretty, but feels good to the touch. I always dress to blend in but look nice, that does get noticed, as the girls I work with tell me I am a classy… Read more »
I believe that many of us would also follow that pattern. We were denied all through our lives and when we get the chance, we do it to a higher level than our generic counterparts. Not a knock on them at all. It’s that undying appreciation for femininity. Thanks for commenting!
Hi Sabrina, and my compliments on a great article. I have been a CD girl for a few years and it has been a steep learning curve for sure. But I did pick up on those things you suggested through a lot of trial and error. Taking pics of my outfits in the mirror (hundreds) and comparing to see what works and what obviously did not. One definitely gets to know what works with what. Having linebacker shoulders did present me with a bit of a problem. I discovered that larger breasts seemed to distract from the shoulders. As well… Read more »
Thanks for the comments, too! You hit on the main point; use your positive attributes to garner attention and avoid areas that don’t. The same is true for women in general. Some are much better at it and are who we should learn from. I’ve always been a people watcher, but now I study women who I think embody my self-perceptions of who I am.