I won’t spend money on a new set of golf clubs, and I’ll go two years in between buying a new bowling ball (These are my long-term sports hobbies). I’ll search countless sites for deals on fishing and camping equipment. I’m squeaky tight when it comes to spending money on home necessities and going out to eat. And… yet… show me the pretty pair of shoes, tantalizing dress, sizzling accessories, and the money easily disappears without a second thought. A small fortune was spent each year in my quest to find the “Real Me!”
Thankfully, I have the money to spend and no significant other that I need to hide my collection or purchase receipts from. It used to be buy whatever I could at affordable prices because it likely wouldn’t fit or look good on me anyway. Now, I have a general idea of my style, my makeup needs, and what will most likely stay in my closet (jammed full that much is also in other storage items to bring out for the season at hand.)
If you give me two hours on the computer (I do my shopping online whereas I used to do most of it at the thrift store) I can easily bookmark over $1,000 worth of items that I want and only a few of them… if I’m pushing it… are of need. Many of the things I buy online now are priced to sell and someone needs to buy them, so why not me? My purchase could eventually be another gurl’s win down the road. Each winter, I make it my task to go through it all, separate out the items that fit (not that I hope will fit because, you know, there’s next year to buy even more,) and put collections together to sell on eBay to my fellow sisters. I’m not shy and I list them under Crossdressing. I have had a few generic women buy my lots, too (with some appreciating compliments afterward 😉
The rest of this article is on how to buy online. So my assumption is that you know your approximate size and likes. If not, it might still be better to hit the thrift store to save money, or if you do go online to eBay, I’ll give you some tips. I would suggest that you set up your eBay account if you haven’t done so to correspond to your feminine email and depending on your circumstances the place you receive your mail. I used to have a PO box where I could collect business (and Brina’s) purchases. Now, I just have things mailed to male me at my home—no significant other to grab a package ahead of me. I will add that the vast majority of my packages from eBay are shipped discreetly. Once in a while one isn’t, but that is kept between me and the post office. They don’t care, just like thrift store workers don’t care if you are buying dresses and skirts. (I’ll share some stories on this in another article as I now work in a thrift store part-time.)
I have an email account that I’ve used for years on a different host than my male one. You should do this if you haven’t. Don’t use the same hosting service. I used to have a separate account on Amazon for Brina, but again, being alone doesn’t make that a necessity. I purposely don’t use my phone for eBay or other shopping sites as they ping messages all the time and I don’t need the bowling boys or golf buddies spying a listing for an evening dress I bid on.
I have three “Go to” sites that I use and have had immeasurable success with, albeit it came with a learning curve that I hope to save you from having to endure. I use TEMU, eBay, and Amazon. There are others that I might occasionally grab something off of. Whatever I find to potentially buy on eBay, I search with google. Many times the item on eBay is there as well on Amazon, and with my Prime shipping, cheaper. What Amazon can’t compete with is the eBay (Lot) purchase or buying secondhand items. If you have the energy, you can search Amazon for great deals on new high heel shoes. The only drawback is you’ll likely search over a 100 pages of listings to find 10-20 pairs that you added to a Wishlist. Shoes on eBay used or new tend to be pricy, especially with shipping costs. There is one place that isn’t. My secret that I’m going to share with you. I’m warning you that you’ll need to hang on to your purse strings or you’ll go overboard.
BHFO is one of eBay’s largest retailers. They sell designer clothing at a fraction of the cost. Buy as much as you want, and the shipping charges are a meager $9.85 for the lot. My shoe collection doubled because of their bargains. I can wear a US size 12 if not an enclosed shoe, otherwise it needs to be a 13. They have some larger sizes 13 and 14, but in limited offerings. There are plenty in 12 down. Discounted dresses range from $5 to $25. Those shoes are from $5 to $30. They have other womanly items as well, but my money goes for dresses, skirts, tops, and shoes. I go to their store via eBay and search specifically for sale items (Women’s size 12 shoes or size 14 or XL dresses). This brings the number down significantly. My problem is saying no to the many options. ** You must read under their description to see if there is a flaw with the item. They might show this perfect pair of shoes or dress and if you don’t read the description, you might miss where it says the left shoe is missing the strap, or the dress is missing one of the decorative buttons or doesn’t come with the belt. A lesson learned multiple times by me… They ship it fast.
The other way I shop on eBay is mostly by lots. Other times for specific things. You need to use the filters, or you’ll waste lots of time (isn’t all bad as you can become mesmerized by the images of scintillating dresses and accessories. For example: I enter “Womens Dress Lot” eBay doesn’t use apostrophes… I go to the filter section and click on “See all” and then put in my preferences. I search for size L, XL, and 14. I choose only US. If I want a certain style, length, or color, I could do those, too. But what I do is set my price limit. I set the maximum price at what I’m willing to go, usually no more than $40 for the lot. Your results will still be over 600, but much better than 10,000. You can choose Auction or Buy it now. The default is set for “Best Match” which I like to use the most often. I’ll go through the listings and add to my watchlist those that I want to explore further. Remember, you don’t need to spend a fortune or jump on it right away. Add it to your watchlist and within a day, the merchant may also offer you a discounted price. I tend not to spend (considering the shipping, too) more than $8 per dress unless it is one that I simply (need) to have. Once they are in my watchlist, I revisit them collectively and weed out the ones I most likely wouldn’t buy. Even when I have it down to a handful, I still don’t always buy it. It’s the shopping that I love to experience, buying is the sweetener.
There are a lot of us gurls who use eBay. A good portion of the items I’ve bought are from my fellow sisters and vice versa. We are good about being discreet in packaging it. Clip-on earring lots are hours of fun to look through. The same with jewelry lots, bracelet lots, necklace lots, press-on nail lots, or ring lots. I also do “Clip-on earring jewelry sets” to find matching accessories. If I search for wigs, I now tend to use specific brands like Noriko, Raquel Welch, or others.
Lastly, TEMU the China Amazon giant. It’s like going to the dollar stores. You can occasionally get the fantastic deal or the one that breaks the second you open the package. All their clothing looks remarkable and exciting. It’s generally made with the same fabric. I have several shoes, but sizing is a best guess. I have narrow feet and the larger the sizes the wider they are. I still found some decent items. I now buy smaller than what I think as they run larger (clothes, shoes are still luck,) until that one item you get is exceedingly small. The good news is in their pricing. Cheap, cheap, and cheaper. Makeup, some accessories, and jewelry can be of decent quality and worth it. I found a 10-set of gold clip-on earrings that are an oriental style that I adore and wear often. Tread carefully and don’t expect it to be great until it is. I’ll buy 10-15 items for less than $80 and end up surprised and happy with around half.
So… open the purse, head to the computer, and dream of your best self…
May your shopping experience be heavenly and the reflection in the mirror angelic… or devilish…
Until next time…
More Articles by Sabrina (Brina) MacTavish
- A Reflection of Image
- Resident Editor and more needed
- How do you do it?
- Girly… Feminine… Woman?
- And so it goes…
Sabrina (Brina) MacTavish
Latest posts by Sabrina (Brina) MacTavish (see all)
- A Small Fortune - September 2, 2024
- A Reflection of Image - July 28, 2024
- Resident Editor and more needed - July 18, 2024
- How do you do it? - June 22, 2024
- Girly… Feminine… Woman? - May 23, 2024
I agree with you Brina, I can months without buying any guy cloths, but my “other self" that is another story. Especially my favorite item Boots of any kind, height, heel! That is what started my down this path we are all on, was boots! I have been using eBay for years, and feel I have become quite savvy at purchasing. I have had a few “bad experiences" but learned from them. thanks for the advice, I will use some of it.
Glad to be of help! The hours spent searching on eBay are like an elixir of serendipity… Thanks for commenting 🙂
Brina,
I’m having limited success with my vow to cut back spending. I have a lot of stuff but, even though I don’t buy as much anymore, what I do buy now tends to be more expensive. I do look for bargains but I have to get rid of some male stuff because I now need a 3rd closet. Oh well.
Girl, do I feel your pain… I keep giving away my male clothes, trying to do with less as I wear them less and I need the room for the next batch of dresses that I don’t need. I could be spending money on bad habits This isn’t one of them 😉 I have also found joy in putting together my own lots to sell, knowing that I might have helped another girl along the way. Thanks for the comments!
Great shopping advice. Thank you Brina. ❤ xx Ger
Thanks! Good shopping 🙂
Just looked at BHFO on ebay and you are so right. $9.95 shipping for up to 40 items is amazing
Thanks for checking it out! I found it a worthy site to deal with.
I would love to Spend a Small Fortune on womens dresses , heels, etc and have a special closet but I have to be a minimalist .
I get that, too. I only had so much room in my golf bag back when I had to hide everything (extremely) carefully!
@bmactavish Hi Sabrina! Temu has actually been a revelation for me. I started off as an experiment just to test a few things and it was so-so. I just happened to end up ordering a couple of cool looking t-shirts and suddenly thought, hey, why not a dress too! You know how that goes, one thing leads to another, then poof! You order half the dresses on the site. It’s a hazard! The quality on the dresses really isn’t bad. Especially for stay in crossdressers, this should be a no brainer. Everything else you can want or need is there… Read more »
@Amanda Dream For the most part, I’ve had similar dealings with TEMU. A very good place to spend little and get an idea of styling. Like most cheaper sites, the quality at times isn’t the best, but I have also been surprised by items that are better than anticipated. Thanks for the comments!
Brina,
I really appreciate your very informative article. I too enjoy perusing and purchasing fem items on the internet. And now, I can add your recommended vendors and “lot and auction buying" concepts to my search routine. I love auctions, I purchased an extensive collection of WWII soldiers and vehicles as well as completed many sets of 1950 era baseball cards as part of my male hobbies, although they can be extremely frustrating when outbid at the last moment! Now, I can add auctions to the pursuit of my female hobby, so thank you!!
Marian ❤
You have to be careful… not of the auctions but of how much you spend. It adds up quickly because there is so much that I need 😉
@Sabrina (Brina) MacTavish wonderful piece! Thank you♥️
thanks 🙂