As I wrote this, the government had closed the borders from the outside world and schools have shut down completely. Everyone is to stay 6ft away from each other. Bars and clubs had shut down, restaurants are to go only and fast food is drive through. All this leaves us in a place that lends toward a fear of others and the world in general.

What has mostly happen in our CD world is that it has kept us shut in to our homes and even killed the new found self-awareness some of us have built up. It is the fear of this virus that keeps many of us at home and in fear of dressing in public. Have you felt like the clubs been out of reach or that your all alone in this world? Do you feel you’re locked up and can’t see the light of day?

Within this world, there are pandemics that are not viral, but of our own making. We can’t catch this one, but it is there. We see it every day as we live in fear of ourselves, who we are or who we want to be. The pandemic is why we feel we need to hide from others in the world. We tell ourselves that we are sick or freaks to think this way, giving into a sickness of self-hate and punishing ourselves because we are different than others.

Don’t give the virus of self-loathing and doubt a chance to become a part of you. The way to kill this pandemic is by not giving into it; show the world your normal, your happy, and that this is who you are! This is how you kill the pandemic crossdressers all over the world face every day. In the CD pandemic, social distancing is not recommended; even staying home will feed the virus more. Community is our way to fight back the feeders and spreaders of this pandemic.

As the world faces the corona pandemic, let’s kill off the pandemic of self-hate. Get yourself ready to emerge from the safe confines of segregation and quarantine as the world slowly returns and people can gather once again. Do this as the person that makes you happiest. Not the one that is still sick with the self-hate virus!

I know that I will love myself and who I am in public and at home no matter how others feel about it. The ones that hate are the ones still trapped in that old pandemic, and they are truly in need of a cure. The cure is to do what makes you happy. Let others find happiness in their own way. Instead of a pandemic, I want to see pure joy and self-confidence in the world.


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Well i'm 43 years old married and have been going on 19 years. First time i had put on a fem outfit i was 5 years old. First time i was dressed in all fem in public was when i got told i had to wear a girls swimsuit if i was going to swim in the school pool because i had breasts ( at that time i had perky b cup breasts.) I had the female breasts all my life started to grow when i was around 9 - 10 years old and stopped at a nice c/d cup so i learned about womens wear as a way to fit my body and to feel myself. I seen it as a curse and a blessing. So i learned clothing is not labeled or what makes you you but what is inside of you. Clothing don't make a person gay or bi queer or anything like that. It is something that you wear to make yourself feel good and to cover your body so you don't expose yourself. So when i embraced myself as a whole i became more happy and felt like this is me and im not ashamed of my clothing or myself. You dont like it i can think of a few words for you! ( grow the #@$^ up and get over yourself im not hurting you or anyone else). I short i also have 3 wonderful girls they love dress up day and have daddy dressed as a disney princess. Or some other caricature they like to be or be around.
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Autumn Valiant
Active Member
4 years ago

Thank you for this article Bobbi.
It’s the first thing I read when I logged onto CDH earlier this morning. I have been feeling isolated during the current stay at home order. It feels like forever. After reading this I went to my notifications, which always makes me feel better. I got going through my routine of answering messages, checking replys on fourms, etc., when it suddenly dawned on me that because of CDH I have friends all around the world. I’m feeling much less isolated now.

Sheryl Johnstone
2 years ago

Hi Bobbi, I have just gone through and read all of your posts and loved every part of them. Your stories about growing up are fascinating and I am wondering if you may actually be intersex rather than or as well as having been affected by some drug prior to puberty. Either way, I am very envious of you having breasts at such a young age while I had to wait for a diagnosis of gender dysphoria and estrogen tablets in my 60’s before mine would grow. I also have an accepting wife and family who I love and cherish… Read more »

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