A Wife’s Crossdressing Success Story

This week I am truly honored to hear from Amy. This is the first time that a genetically born woman has shared her crossdressing success story on Crossdresser Heaven. Amy’s story is a blessing to all of us, and shows us that love’s embrace can strengthen even with - and sometimes because of -  crossdressing.

If you’d like to share you crossdressing success story, please take a moment to submit your story. I’d especially like to encourage wives and girlfriends of crossdressers to share their successes. Even if you’re still struggling with your loved one’s crossdressing your small successes will bring encouragement to many others who are walking the same journey.

Meet Amy

Hello, I'm Amy; I'm a 36-year old female who lives in a small town in Georgia.

Amy’s Crossdressing Success Story – A Wife’s Perspective

I don't know if I can publish a story being a female, but I am so inspired by all of your stories that I had to tell mine. I met my husband about 5 years ago at a pizza restaurant where we both worked at the time. I had identified myself as a lesbian for 10 years, but hadn't found the right woman. I had had two boyfriends, both of whom validated my reasons for choosing the lesbian lifestyle, even bearing a child from one of them.

But this one, 9 years younger than me, there was just something about him I couldn't put my finger on, but I knew I had to have him. I heard was a preacher's son and had a good reputation, unlike the last one who'd left me and my son 5 years earlier. Anyway, we hit it off and dated for 4 years before getting married. I always felt like he was more of a woman in bed, which naturally I liked, having been a lesbian before.

Now I had a kid, plus living in the Bible belt is not easy when you're not living the "straight" and narrow, so I no longer had the desire to seek out a woman. So he was perfect, the best of both worlds. Little did I know just how perfect.

I knew he liked wearing my tank top I once put on him, but I thought it was no big deal since it never came up again. Later I found out that he was attracted to me from day one, having listened to my lesbian escapades. It seemed a part of him identified with/wanted to be one of those women. This might sound strange, but one night 3 years into our relationship, I heard in a dream or vision from a beautiful goddess (crazy, I know) telling me that I needed to tell him that it was ok to wear women's clothes; that it was an ancient part of him that would be very healing if he would just allow it to happen.

I told him this, but he said nothing and I forgot about it. It wasn't until our wedding night that I experienced the full extent of my husband's desire to cross dress. We went and bought lingerie that I was hoping he would especially love on me. It seemed he cared more about himself wearing the clothes than me. I was actually jealous of a robe!

This was such a downer for me on our honeymoon. But how could I have known? We hadn't been able to live together during our engagement, between his conservative background, and my not wanting to shack up only to be abandoned again. And he's quite shy about such things.

Well, I am happy to say after nearly 2 years we have adjusted and grown together, and through a lot of communication and encouragement have created a beautiful relationship that is like no other. Thanks to Vanessa's website, Vicki's wise words for Christian Cross Dressers, and all the CD stories, I have come to understand why my husband feels the way he does; it even endears me to him more.

The stories have made me cry at times. One day I saw on Oprah a transgendered man (woman now) and her wife who would shop for jewelry together, and something about their story, their kinship made me cry as well. It wasn't tears of sadness, but more of a cleansing and a relieving. It felt like, "Yes, that is it", like a resounding truth.

Now I dress him up all the time. Occasionally he will put something on, but he is more passive and the thrill for him is someone else doing it to him. I no longer see his desire to wear women's clothes as taking away from me. In fact, I think this has strengthened me to be more, to explore my masculine side, my dominating side (grin), and now I play video games with him and fix things around the house.

I've even explained to my 11 year old son that his step dad feels good in women's clothes, and he was ok with that. He actually said it explained a lot and seemed relieved to now know the truth. (I'm sure he's noticed him wearing my jeans and pj's from time to time.)

My dream is for us to move to a place where he could be comfortable to be himself, be it in women's clothes or makeup or even transitioning to transgendered. This whole experience has taught me that gender is a very complex thing and that we all have a varying degrees of masculinity and femininity in us.

It has taught me to question, what makes us a man or a woman? Doesn't our Creator create us to express ourselves the way we want? Isn't there a feminine aspect to our Creator that he/she wants to shine through us? What would the world be like if we were more free to express both male and female sides of us, or just one if that's what gives us joy? I think it would be an infinitely better world.

Amy

Leave a Reply

31 comments

  1. Vanna 15 August, 2015 at 02:27 Reply

    She finally kissed my lipsticked lips, it was hers after all. Asked me to finish vacuuming then neatly put the dress back in her closet, but “keep the shoes…you ruined them for me” and that was that. She didn’t like it when she saw me in her clothes. We stayed together another 3 years, but nothing was the same.

  2. Vanna 15 August, 2015 at 02:18 Reply

    I know that feeling, Michelle. I was married to a woman who encouraged me to wear her sexier clothes… But only when she was out of town. I had my own panties and bras, but she told me where her silicone breasts were so I could fill out the dresses. Her 2″ heels and 5″ heels fit me, so you know which ones I wore. Those stiletto pumps were the best. Until she came home early while I was vacuuming and she just stared… Waited for me to notice her (my heart stopped and raced when I saw her because I was scared and excited) then she smirked and said “are those MY shoes?!” I was stunned. I hurried to her bedroom before she could close the door to tell her I’d get her another pair, but she just sat at her dresser and asked what being dressed like “that” did for me. I tried to get her to look at me… Really look at me. The same man she married, same man she gave thongs to, same man she told to wear what I had on. She just couldn’t stand to see it.

  3. Michael/ Michelle 10 August, 2015 at 13:01 Reply

    I’m a married crossdresser, and although my wife knows of my dressing, she does not participate or encourage me in any way. How I wish she could be more supportive, and even encourage my feminine side. In return, I’d give her the utmost freedom to pursue any activities of her choice, including seeing other men if she so desired. I have so many fetishes and fantasies that I’d love to share with her, but I doubt she’d have any interest whatever. She just couldn’t be that curious or adventurous to explore those areas. I’ll just have to continue my fantasies.

  4. Dianne (David) 25 July, 2015 at 14:25 Reply

    I’ve been married 45 years and hidden the fact I was a Crossdresser . I wear panties all the time now and my wife found and asked who they belong to I came clean about them being mine . She tolerates that I wear them but if she knew the extant of my dressing it would be a different story..We both come very religious backgrounds .

  5. Robyn 13 July, 2015 at 21:12 Reply

    my Heart goes out you Amy for you are an enlightened woman,
    I personally have been on a search for one a woman like you who understands our side and feelings, I have found a couple who said yes they can, but in truth they couldn’t
    so my search is still in effect and i am much wiser to those who say they can. but really cant.
    Again Enlightened one you are a star

    Robyn

  6. seleenak 12 July, 2015 at 12:31 Reply

    thanks for sharing, Amy! My wife and I have been married for a long time and feel that our relationship is stronger than ever.

  7. Saroya Fanniel 7 July, 2015 at 18:45 Reply

    What an awesome story Amy!! It’s so wonderful hearing a MAAB/WAAB, husband/wife success story! Also, it’s wonderful that you found the buried domme inside, as an unexpected gift, lol.

    Being a retired, professional domme, who is in the Life for fun only now, I have loads of experience with married couples exploring this aspect of their relationship. It’s interesting because I’ve been told, by at least 85% of the people I play/work with that they got more healing and resolution from being with me than they did from therapy, counseling or psychiatrists. I’ve seen tremendous and inspiring successes, as well as, grand failures. Just as with every experience, your story is unique to you and your partner yet their are some shared similarities in all of the ones that are successful. I call them ‘The Seven Rivers’:

    Communication
    Honesty
    Tolerance
    Compassion
    Empathy
    Forgiveness
    Transparency

    The ‘7 Rivers’ are imperative for any relationship yet ones that have ‘non-traditional’ aspects, implementing the ‘Pillars’ is imperative. The essence of the idea is that as all rivers lead to the sea so to do the 7 actions of ‘The Pillars’ will guide the two together and flow, as one, into a cohesive partnership.

    Peace and Blessings going forward as you and your beautiful butterfly travel together.

  8. Ronni Schechter 28 June, 2015 at 06:31 Reply

    I am transgender and my future daughter and wife are very supportively of me, wants to go buy dresses a like, I ask her what she thought of me transitioning and she said it didn’t matter whether I had a penis or not. All she new she loved me for who I am.

  9. Samantha 28 June, 2015 at 05:37 Reply

    Such a beautiful story, I’m so happy for you & your family. I’m glad this has brought all of you closer. I’m Transgender myself, & my partner (of nearly a year now), is so supportive of me, & the journey I’m on. We’ve been totally honest with each other, & while he admits he doesn’t know what the end result will be for our relationship..personally..He has said that he wants to help me, be me :-). Best wishes to you All x.

  10. Charlotte Deneice Windham 25 June, 2015 at 07:22 Reply

    Hi, I am Charlotte Deneice,and I have been wearing women’s clothes since I was five years old. The older I got then I could buy my own. I would wear mama’s high heels,and stockings,and my sister’s bras.A lot of times when I am in dull male clothes I wear panties,bras,and some makeup too. I now go out when I want in my own town dressed as a complete woman,and I don’t care if someone recognizes me.How sexy,and thrilling it is to go out dressed so feminine,and see someone that knows you,and you find out they don’t care,and are still friends.Got to go. I am dressing now to go out,and just enjoy my feminine appearance. Kisses

    • Ashley 28 June, 2015 at 13:47 Reply

      My ex wife found out on her own I would recommend being up front about it before it gets that far my ex said she could handle it but in the end she could not and would always throw it my face in every fight

  11. michelle 14 September, 2014 at 01:15 Reply

    I’m a married crossdresser, and although my wife knows of my dressing, she doed not participate or encourage me in any way. She knew of my crossdressing before we were married, and I was in the hope that it could be somehow a part of our marriage. In return, I’d even be open to her seeing other men in some relationship if she so desired. I feel that would be an even trade off for her encouragement or participation. I’ve even recently got a new pair of sexy red high heeled pumps for halloween. If she only knew of some of my fantasies; however; she’d probably have a fit. On I go!

    • Candy 7 July, 2015 at 04:10 Reply

      Hi my name is Candy a very passable cd. I love your story Amy there should be more women like you. The worl would be a better place.

  12. Bob 11 September, 2014 at 19:20 Reply

    Dear Amy,Iam very encurage to your story.Ithink I may have meet someone like you but am too shy to approach her,She works at Sears and sells lingerie and she was great buy from and says she would like to see more me. ?.Good luck and God bless Bob

  13. WIFES 25 March, 2011 at 20:38 Reply

    me & MY WIFE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER IN THE BEEDROOM AS TWO WOMAN FOR ABOUT 2 YEARS USING ADICK SHAPED VIBRATER & ITS THE BEST SEX WE EVER HAD ITS GREAT NOT HAVING TO BE A MAN IN THE BEEDROOM NOW WE ARE BFFS & 2 WIVES IN EVERY WAY EVEN HOW WE LLOK AT GUYS I ALWAYS NEW I WAS A WOMAN BUT ALWAYS WANTED TO BE WITH MY WIFE JUST NOT AS A MAN & SHE ALWAYS LOVED MY GIRL SIDE IT IS SOON GOOD BEING BFFS

  14. WIFES 26 March, 2011 at 03:38 Reply

    me & MY WIFE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER IN THE BEEDROOM AS TWO WOMAN FOR ABOUT 2 YEARS USING ADICK SHAPED VIBRATER & ITS THE BEST SEX WE EVER HAD ITS GREAT NOT HAVING TO BE A MAN IN THE BEEDROOM NOW WE ARE BFFS & 2 WIVES IN EVERY WAY EVEN HOW WE LLOK AT GUYS I ALWAYS NEW I WAS A WOMAN BUT ALWAYS WANTED TO BE WITH MY WIFE JUST NOT AS A MAN & SHE ALWAYS LOVED MY GIRL SIDE IT IS SOON GOOD BEING BFFS

  15. Amy 13 October, 2009 at 08:09 Reply

    Hello! Thank you all for your kind comments. I am honored to have my story told on Crossdresser Heaven. To have a positive impact on the community, which is my goal, is truly awesome! I would love to get the message out to those struggling wives that embracing crossdressing can benefit not only our spouse but ourselves. It breaks my heart that marriages end because of simply not understanding and not allowing our one true love to be and express who they are. To answer Lacey and Michelle, I am interested in making friends, but I’m not sure my husband is as of yet. Some days he says his CDing is only a private thing to be shared with me. Other days he gets excited when I tell him of my fantasy to dress him up and take him out.. but saying and doing are different things. I finally told him I submitted this story the other day! (He’s a talented writer and I’m very self-conscious about showing him my work.) So, as a spirit filled Christian, I’m pretty in tune with my spirituality and I feel a higher part of him wants him to allow a fuller expression of his feminine side, maybe relocate to a place that is more open, and I feel I am to play a part in encouraging him. I have a fantasy about taking him abroad.. far away from his fearing parents.. where he has no inhibitions whatsoever, but who knows what we’ll do; we’re young and have our whole lives ahead of us (especially him, he’s 9 years younger than me). Right now he’s the breadwinner (computer programmer – yes he’s my adorable computer nerd!) and I’m focusing on getting a business off the ground: life coaching for people who want to live the life they’ve been dreaming about. That’s my baby. I think that this work will ultimately be a key in opening myself and my other half to living our dream life, as writers, healers, dressing however we want, and inspiring others to overcome their limiting beliefs and live their highest possible life that God wants for them. Well, I think I’ve said enough for now! Thank you again! I’ll be posting again soon, I’m sure! <3 Amy

  16. Michelle Renee 11 October, 2009 at 20:37 Reply

    This is a rare story and wish more wives would try this. I’ve had 1 failed marrige and 1 failed engagment because of my dressing. Either they run away or they have to protect their kids from it. Where is my Amy at?

  17. Lynn Jones 9 October, 2009 at 13:21 Reply

    > I have come to understand why
    > my husband feels the way he does

    That’s wonderful to hear and thank you for taking the time in sharing yours story. So often we hear only from a husband’s or boyfriend’s point of view, so it’s great to hear a partner’s story too.

  18. Lacey 8 October, 2009 at 09:37 Reply

    I was moved by this story and thank Amy for publishing it. I am a CD in GA and would love to develop a friendship with this couple. Hopefully they will want the same and touch base with me. The story gives us all hope.

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