The greatest struggle we face is not from the world, from others, from society. The greatest struggle we face in the trans community is to look within ourselves and accept the beautiful person we are. Everything flows from there – all the joys we experience, the people we meet and the life lessons we learn. Today I’d like to share a comment that a reader, Violette left on Crossdresser Heaven a few weeks ago. It touched me, and I pray that if can find a way into your heart.
It is amazing how much of a difference accepting yourself can make. That feeling when you can face the world proud of who you are and unafraid of what others will think. For me this made all the difference in the world.
Unfortunately we will continue to deal with others who will not approve of our differences, or will try to mold us as you said into something that walks, talks and acts like them. What do we do about it? Well until we accept ourselves we hide in our houses (or bedrooms and bathrooms while we still live with our parents). We purge our clothes believing that without the means the temptation will go away. We try to avoid talking about things that would out us, and fight our natural mannerisms so that people will believe in the character we have created to face the outside world. We suffer within and thrash around trying to find a way to fit into their mold so we wont have to deal with the torment they dish out.
As time goes on we realize that that our own reactions are making things worse. By hiding we build an internal feeling of shame. By purging we realize that without the release from part time dressing we build to a breaking point that adds stress to all aspects of our lives, not to mention breaking the bank with repetitive shopping. By holding our tongues we find we want to scream, or that we let slip more and more of what we want to say only to be met by jokes since we have hidden who we really are in the beginning. Finally by avoiding who we are so others will believe us “normal” we start to become the character we have created for their eyes which only causes us more suffering as we see the distance to ourselves growing evermore.
Thank you Vanessa for this and you many other posts. I feel that acceptance is the most important step in our journeys. No matter where you land in the gender spectrum it is important to accept yourself as you are and recognize the beauty in the differences. Even if you don’t know if you are a cd, tg, ts, tv, or whatever other term you can think of the acceptance of self is indeed the first step in arming yourself against the attitudes of the unenlightened. Acquiring others acceptance is still going to be a challenge especially with the stigmas around transgender in the public past, however once others can see you as you and not as a distant thing life can become more comfortable and at least some of the fears can be washed away.
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Great story thank you for sharing
So true, this is what our lives are. I’m a life long dresser and after years of trying to understand why I dress, I finally accept myself for who I am. Since that day a few years ago I have really enjoyed dressing g as Kelly. I get so much pleasure now ts hard to explain. accept who you are and release the stress. This is who we are, not by choice, but by nature. Embrace it and have fun.
Hugs
Kelly
That is so true. Purging clothing was expensive. I am so happy that I finally told my wife anf family. They are still adjusting, but it is a giant weight of my shoulders. Thank very much.
Jamie.
I have took a big step snd finally accepted the real transgender woman that is in me. I really feel better now since I have acceptef the fact that I am really a transgrnder woman and really wants to come out of the closet more open now ad bring a transgender woman that I really am. I need a lot of help in many wayd in my transformation as this transgender woman that I am. I want to meet other transgender woman who came help me to become the transgender woman that wants to become. Is there a social club… Read more »
I’m blessed to live in a city “San Diego" where we beautiful CD gals move freely around town. I’ve learned over the years to Love Myself. By loving myself, it shows on my smile and that’s what counts. Even when I’m not perfectly in pass mode, my smile is all it takes to be accepted. People see I’m happy, free, and myself, and they don’t even notice anything else.
Hi Peggy Sue, Me Too!
After so many years of self repression, I am so happy to be able to dress like I have always wanted.
– Terri Anne
I must admit it, when others see you smile and happy in your self, they seem to be able accept you, not just put up with the shurard. Yes there are tears, but living on your emotions, is really living.
Good morning all my beautiful CD friends. Maybe my problem is I love myself in a way that seems to cause man a lot of problems with his way of thinking about my openness about who and what I am. Because I’m not afraid to get into any man’s face if He acts ignorant towards me and how I believe in myself as a Transgender M/F who was constantly called names that I put into acronyms. The one that causes man his biggest problem is the one I hate the most until I came up with this reply to the… Read more »
Beautifully stated. ♡
Hi I’m Jess I am a male wanting to be female all my life I just started to go out in my bra and panties under my clothes since I discovered who I am it took me a long time to realize I should have been female but since I still have all my manly features it’s hard for me I presently are growing my breast growth naturally with breast massage and it’s working just to let you know it’s not easy and I’m trying my best that’s why I joined this site thanks jess
Hey, i love all the comments on why we are us, I think we or a whole bunch of us owe Bruce Jenner A Grateful thanks. I have been a cross dresser fo about 75 years , but had never thought about the Woman hidden within until i was made aware of Caitlyns Story. Ironically it was my wife that i am separated from and has never acceptrd my CDing that told me that i should read the first article that was published about Caitlyn. I now know that I am a woman Within and am now living As me… Read more »