We all want to be accepted, right? Of course we do. Over the last 30 years of being out in public I’ve seen some drastic shifts in how we are viewed. Believe me, it’s much easier now than way back then, with a few exceptions. For the most part as a community, we are more accepted than ever. But that’s not really where I’m going with this. I talking more on an individual basis, let me explain.
This applies to anyone on the Transgender spectrum. Whether you are an occasional Crossdresser, or living as a full time post op MTF girl. The level to which we are accepted will vary drastically depending on each individual situation. You might be in a relationship with a very open minded person, or work where they are very open to you presenting as female at work. If so, I think that’s great and hope it stays the course.
But in reality, most of us go through many years of battling of where we are in the TG spectrum. We might change our opinions of where we are headed numerous times. I know I have and have talked to countless others that have as well. The part I think most people in our community miss is how our decisions affect others. Many just don’t care what others think. But think about this, if it took you 10-20 years to finally decide that you are transgender, how is it fair to expect others that have known your male persona for years to instantly accept you for who you now want to be. The same could apply to coming out as a crossdresser to loved ones. We must be prepared to be patient with acceptance of others, usually it’s not instant. Many will never accept you and you must be prepared for that.
I’ve talked to many girls who are totally depressed that their family will not except them as a girl. It’s sad, but not surprising. Many times though over a period of 2-5 years, the family and friends will become more accepting. Like I mentioned earlier, it’s unrealistic for us to expect acceptance instantly with our decision that might have been 20 years in the making. I’m not saying in any way that you should not come out to friends or loved ones, but be prepared for any result. Please do not let others talk you into coming out to family, make that decision yourself. Every situation is different. Many girls have had no problem and feel everyone else will have the same experience. For example, the fact that I’ve been going for years with almost no issue, doesn’t mean you wouldn’t have an issue your first time out.
I’ve also encountered a situation lately with some friends that do live and work as a girl. Their employer was very accepting and allowed them to work as a girl, but the clients were not always as accepting of the new you. If you work in some commission based situation, it can be tough. The clients may not tell you why, nor do they have to. They might just move their business elsewhere. You can say it’s not fair, but it’s real life.
So in closing, I’m not trying to be negative on coming out. What I want everyone to do before they make these decisions, is to base it on your situation, not someone else’s. You might get a great response those you come out to and I hope you do. But be patient with acceptance if it does not come right away.
- Have you recently come out of the cross dressing closet to a spouse or significant other and if so, what was their level of acceptance of your thrill of cross dressing?
- Many times when your spouse or significant other accepts your thrill of cross dressing it comes with some limitations on your cross dressing. Would you like to share a limitation or two placed by your spouse or significant other on your cross dressing?
- Would you please share with us an extreme level of acceptance or non-acceptance by one of your immediate family members?
Thank you so very much for taking the time to read my article. Please feel free to take a few more minutes to send in a response to either my article or to one or more of the questions I’ve posed to you above!
Sincerely, Lisa
More Articles by Lisa Wilson
Lisa Wilson
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- Acceptance - May 4, 2021
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Dear Lisa. Thank you for the article, for it is a good article and I can relate with and think back on many of the things you touched on. I’ve cross-dressed and lived with limitations. After 25 years of her knowing and acceptance with limitations I would dress when I got home from work . She divorced me. I found myself alone and figured I would let it loose since I could not get rid of my desire to feel feminine. Well I walked out of my front door and haven’t turned back. That was 4/21 I had called and… Read more »
Janice, it was wonderful to meet you earlier this year. Hope we see other again. Hang in there, it sounds like it’s improving, although slowly.
Lisa this is a heartfelt article and I can’t agree more. We can’t expect to be accepted immediately or sadly ever in some circumstances. I have mulled over my situation for 30 years and it wasn’t until 6 years ago that my wife knew I existed, so who am I to expect a quick fix. After all I’m still a work in progress, shouldn’t we expect outsiders to take a little time getting used to me themselves? Thanks Lisa