I had a week — a WHOLE week — (well, other than my 9 to 5 job) to let Julie out and be free.  I had plans, I had dreams, I had goals.  I had sister friends who were willing to go out with me . . . but then.

My first (and dearest, but don’t tell the others) girl friend who has been my rock, my Mama Bear, and the person who has done the most to get Julie out and about came down with Covid 19.  She didn’t spread it to our circle, but it put her on the sidelines for the week.  We had planned to cross another item off Julie’s bucket list – going to church. (as a Christian I enjoy worship, but the church I currently attend has issues with (“people like Julie”) (I know! I know! But I’m working on finding a new house of worship that is more accepting) Anyway – she was not able to go, so I went alone.  Very scary, I’m not out to most of my friends and acquaintances in town and you never know who you’ll run into at church. We had chosen a church that is LGBTQ Friendly, so I got pretty and went.  Turns out a man I know well is the choir director at this church! I managed to avoid contact with him and enjoyed the experience. After the service, as people were welcoming me and being very friendly, a woman walked right up to me and staring me in the eye, said “Do we know each other?” I dodged the question and tried to move on, but she was blocking the aisle.  I was able to convince her (I think) that we didn’t know each other and I went toward the door.  As I got there – BAM! There was The choir director.  Not wanting to meet up with him, I quickly turned a corner and took a stairway down. He fell in step right behind me, chatting with someone (thankfully distracted). I got away from him and found myself in the fellowship hall where they were having their after church mixer. Yikes!  I busied myself with looking intently at some historic photos on the far wall. Once he entered the hall and joined a group of folks, I high tailed it for the stairs and the front door.

The morning plan had been to follow up on church with a drag brunch at our local gay bar/club – The Globe. A friend of mine is the hostess of these events and has been inviting me to attend for a couple of years now. Being solo and bolstered by the results of my church trip, I was still planning on going – a gal’s gotta eat after all. But as I approached the venue. I saw half a dozen 20-something shirtless guys out on the patio. Being a M2F Hetero Cross Dresser, this image did nothing for me other than make me question going in.  I drove around the block once, and on my return their number had increased.  I had lunch at Perkins.

Still determined to cross The Globe off my bucket list, I decided to try it again on another day. But when I arrived there the next night and actually parked and walked up to the front door.  They were closed. OMG! This time I settled for Applebee’s.

These incidents set the mood for the rest of the week.  I had planned some outings, but being all alone I didn’t have the courage to follow through with any of them.  ~~ sigh ~~

The moral of the story? Fear and uncertainty can really make us feel like second class citizens. Be bold! Step out! (are you listening, Julie???) Well, there’s always next time.

I will leave you with the motto I use when I sign off my Blog (https://juliemshaw.blogspot.com/) – Stay Safe And Pretty, Sweeties.

Sincerely, Julie

En Femme Style

 

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    Julie Shaw

    40+ years experience as an actor - touring, performing, directing and writing. As well as over 140 titles as an audio book narrator. And over 50 years experience as a MTF Cross Dresser.

    Latest posts by Julie Shaw (see all)

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    Michelle McQueen
    Active Member
    1 month ago

    Thanks for sharing Julie. You are an inspiration to all of us.

    Amandah Opal
    Baroness
    Active Member
    1 month ago

    Thanks Julie! Wonderful story of how we all need to be mindful and prepared for a change even with the best laid plans.

    Leonara
    Ambassador
    Trusted Member
    1 month ago

    Thank you Julie for taking the time to write about your experience “steppin” out an inspiration for all of us (including me!) who are shy to express our feminine side to the world… Leonara

    Alden Brown
    1 month ago

    Hey

    Alden Brown
    1 month ago

    I’m shy

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