One reason I joined this site was that I feel I need to write about some things. There are things that my wife really can’t fully underdstand. Granted she has known that I am a crossdresser since day 1, and that was 8 years ago, when it really comes down to it only another crossdresser could possibly understand.
I am not looking for answers really but just kinda “talking out loud” and if someone reads it and/or replies than great.
I started working from home about 2 years ago as a web developer so that has given me the opportunity to dress every day. I will get out of the shower and go pick out my outfit. I will then wear that outfit until no less than 6pm. In the past I would try to only buy womens clothing that would be considered sexy… not something you would wear to work. And I think I did that as a way of dealing with crossdressing by telling myself that I was dressing purely for the sexual thrill and not because dressing was a part of me. But in the last 2 years i find that i am buying clothing that even my mother would wear… like long dresses and skirts, 2″ heels instead of 3″+.
Added to my changing attitude about what I should wear is the fact that not long ago I told my mother that i am a crossdresser. It wasnt that I could go either way, tell her or not tell her, it was that I have to do it… she must know. After, I thought to myself “why did I tell her?”… “what did I gain from doing so?” I couldnt and still cant find in myself any reason for telling her but I had to do it. To my suprise, it was no suprise to her… she told me although she had never seen me in womens clothes, she knew.
What does all this mean.. I dont really know…