Even though I’ve been walking this path all my life I finally feel as though I’ve started my journey to womanhood. As many of you may know I recently began my transgender therapy. My aim is to validate that transitioning is right for me, and to find a partner who will assist me in the next steps along the journey (hormone therapy, going full time, and eventually the necessary surgical changes).
The beginning of therapy itself was a moment that my life took an irreversible turn – I was going to deal with my gender dysphoria one way or another. I had spent many years running from myself, exploring who I was, learning about the transgender community, discovering my feelings and testing my true nature.
After many years I have been able to overcome the shame I felt at being transgendered and the fear I felt at being myself out in the world. It’s these many years of learning, experience and testing that lead me to therapy almost completely certain that the next stanza in my life needs to be sung in soprano. Yet I know that I must temper my certainty with skepticism and allow my therapist to ask me the hard questions. I must seek new insights and self discovery. For if I don’t my experience through therapy will be poorer, and I would have missed a beautiful opportunity to validate myself.
For myself I find that sharing my experience in words with you lovely ladies is healing. The process of expressing my emotions, and the wonderful comments and insights you share have made my life richer up until now. I would be remiss if I didn’t share my rebirth as a woman with you as well. In advance I thank you for your gracious ear, your wise counsel and your continued readership.
Over the next few weeks and months I’ll share a new series I call “Am I Transsexual?”, where I seek to answer that question with more completeness and certainty than I’ve been able up until now. You’ll hear my journey, see my changes and get to join me on my experience into my true self. Rest assured that this more serious series of articles will be punctuated with great crossdressing tips, your crossdressing success stories, polls and many other goodies. Crossdresser Heaven has and always will be for everyone in the transgender community – across the gender spectrum – and for the loving (and at times shocked or confused) family and friends of a transgendered soul.
Before I begin I want to offer a disclaimer. This is my story, my journey. Everyone’s life song is unique and beautiful. There may be aspects of what I share that resonate with you and others you can’t relate to. This is not meant to be a map for navigating your transgender experience – as similar as we are, we are still different, and I highly encourage you to travel your journey along with a licensed professional. If any of this is helpful please let me know – your comments are a true blessing to me.
More Articles by Vanessa Law
- Win a Free Makeup Prize Bundle from Jecca Blac
- A Few Changes in Our Family
- I Want to Live Like That
- Hope in Despair, Light through the Darkness
- Scholar Program – Transwomen’s Social Support for Medication Adherence
Vanessa Law
Latest posts by Vanessa Law (see all)
- Win a Free Makeup Prize Bundle from Jecca Blac - March 11, 2022
- A Few Changes in Our Family - April 15, 2021
- I Want to Live Like That - August 29, 2020
- Hope in Despair, Light through the Darkness - March 22, 2020
- Scholar Program – Transwomen’s Social Support for Medication Adherence - April 6, 2019
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Vanessa, Thank you for including 'us' in your journey. I look forward to reading more about your transformation. Especially the personal questions you must surely be asking yourself. Though I do not have a desire to be a woman (at least I don't think so), I do sometimes question why I like to crossdress. Is it because I truely like the feel of lingerie? Is it because it's taboo? Am I gay and not know it? I do like to play with other men. Lately, I have been working on accepting the desire to wear lady's lingerie. So far it's… Read more »
You're welcome hon – wonderful to read your comments. What a great way to think about how other's journey could apply to you.
Keep discovering who you are 🙂
Congratulates the girl who is starting her treatment in order to afford her nice final goal: To be a woman, is spite of all, she has been always a woman. She just is going to modified her body, but in herself, she is a very girl.Please, tell her I m sending all my energies. Vania.-
Congratulations. It is not an easy road but it can be an interesting one. Try to enjoy the journey. 🙂 Congrats again 🙂
**CLAPPING – JUMPIN UP AND DOWN – GIGGLING**
I love the way you write. I hope you are considering consolidating much of your blog into a book. Even if it's not number one on the "best seller" list, there are SO many in this world who could benefit from your story.
I CAN NOT WAIT to walk through this with you!!
Right behind you and prayin with you…
Thanks love!
Enjoy the journey hun – it can at times be incredibly fun, daunting, challenging and frustrating. But enjoy it all the same. ^_^
Thanks Jessica hon! 🙂
Dear Vanessa, Thank you for sharing your story with all of us Vanessa. I to have started transgender therapist. It has been something I have denied for so long suppressed and ignored. But it has always been eating at my very being. I did not want to accept this fact at first, but now I’m welling to. I now understand that I have nothing to be ashamed of and there nothing wrong with being transgender. I go to the therapist as Bobbie the woman that is deep inside of me. This was my ever first time that I’ve ever when… Read more »
Thank Vanessa
I personally start therapy this Wednesday and everything you said rings so true to my whole life I only found this site last night but have trawled the Internet for years to find a good resource that just hits the emotions I personally have felt for decades, given I have only “come out” to my parent a week or so ago, but the years of shame guilt and fear I battled with have left me with so scars Id eventually like to share with the community
XoxXo
My husband has cross dressed on and off pretty much his whole life. Recently he has commenced again with new found vigour. I am supporting him as best I can (it’s not easy!) and have had numerous discussions with him about whether he is “just a cross dresser” or perhaps transsexual as it appears to me that it is a little more than cross dressing – but what would I know??!! I will continue supporting him as I love him and want him to be happy. I wish you all the very best in your journey too!
Vanessa, I hope I am healthy enough to star HRT as I am older and might not be given the green light. However, I will do what I am able to achieve the most feminization I can. I am taking better care of myself these days, that’s for sure; and you never know.
Thank you, Vanessa, for sharing your journey. I have been dealing with Gender Dysphoria all my life. At the age of 15 I overheard my doctor ask my mother about my Gender Dysphoria. First time I had ever heard the term I figured it was something to do with my crossdressing nothing was said I guess they thought I would grow out of it. I was also dealing with the fact that I was an effeminate homosexual. I was in denial and thought if I found the right girl got married that I could change and live as a heterosexual… Read more »