New Ambassador Test Page

April Meyer

I am a blossoming girl, trying to go from drap to glam if not full time than sometime. Believe that love conquers all hate is easy better the hard way then that way.
Update 9 9 2021; I have blossomed into a trans woman mainly with the help and encouragement of the girls on this site. I thank you all! I figured it was time to get this up to date. I love the new me so happy I now have the opportunity to be free and be me. Peace and love!!

Claudia C

A CD with a nice mini skirt collection and various points of view spanning multiple views based on region and culture.

Cleo Lythgoe

Just testing the waters....as they say. Don't know if or how I fit in here. Been a crossdresser/square peg since I was 11. More later....if I get that far.

Codille Benton Baer

I am a MTF Crossdresser for 30+ years. I came to CDH in April of 2015, Looking for Friends and Support just like everyone else, as I was looking to take my first big steps out the door. That seems so long ago thanks to the members of this site and their love.

I am very active participant and I also the Manager of the site, which began as a blog by Vanessa Law. What I think Vanessa asking me to manage the sites means... I have been dressing for a while so I have a lot of things to offer others, I am organized and I REALLY like talking to people 🙂

If you haven’t read all my profile, I welcome you to please do so, it gives you a pretty good idea of who I am. Here is the link something that will tell you more about me. https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/crossdresser-without-transitioning/ There have been more than a few personal updates to this as well in the responses. A Sequel article is in the works as well as a lot has changed in two years, but here is the beginning. If the link doesn’t work check under the in the stories section at the top of your profile page, mine is the one with the Phoenix image, so just about all about me can be found in those two places. Also I am an open book and will answer almost any question posted to me.

I welcome to a whole new world, that you can be you, no judging just friendship, helpful tips and lots support.

As for the site, the ladies are amazing and friendly. Almost no question will not be answered (Just keep it tasteful), by someone who has been there where you are in some way. I have met some incredible ladies that just want someone else that is a crossdresser to talk to and be a friend. You will feel at home immediately. If you want to jump right in write your profile and let people your journey, if you want to stick your toe into the water first, go to the forums link, and go to the new members page, just say hi and then browse all the great insight these wonderful women have already put there. Just so you know all of the post are from people like you and me, not some expert, but women that all are looking for answers or just someone else to talk to.

We also have a for the pride of your part of the world. We are a growing community so if you don’t see a group link listed for your specific country, link up with the next closest. Trust me the site is growing fast enough we will be adding more groups as soon as there are enough people you won’t be by yourself. So follow this link and find ladies in your area: https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/groups/

As for me, I also have been asked to give guidance, again that whole I have been dressing a while thing, but I too am looking for some HELP as I certainly don’t have all the answer to Life, The Universe and Everything CD. So I want to say HI!!!!!! Thanks so much for accepting my friendship request and I look forward to talking with you soon!!!

Hugs,

Codille Benton
Managing Ambassador and Friend

Dawn Judson

As I said, originally, I'm sure we all have very similar stories, but yes, I’m a happy girl when I’m Dawn. I'm feeling more & more comfortable. I’ve been crossdressing since I was about 10. Until recently, I always felt like I enjoyed it– but wished I didn’t. I think it was something I was born with, but the thing that I felt that really awakened the desire in me, was a "TRUE" magazine article. I happened to find it on the top shelf of a closet (How appropriate). Naturally, I curiously looked through the magazine, perhaps, hoping to find pictures of nude women. But then, I came across an article entitled, “My Husband Became a Woman”. Suddenly, I wanted to see how it felt to be a girl & started trying on things that belonged to my mom & sister. It felt so good & actually excited me, sexually.

I’m pretty sure that my mom knew about it. She had caught me, trying on a pair of my granny’s shoes, once, and I’m sure that she could tell that someone had been into her clothes– especially when I accidentally got makeup on a white sundress & didn’t have time to clean it. There was also a time when my best friend asked me if I had mascara on (Apparently, I hadn’t done a good job of washing it off.) I told him, “No, I was taking a nap. That’s why my eyes look like this.” I don’t think he bought it.

I wasn’t gay. I liked girls & had several girlfriends throughout high school. I was still doing the closet thing, but when I was with them, crossdressing never crossed (pardon the pun) my mind . Also, never really thought about it while serving a few years in the Armed Forces. But it all seemed to come back when my wife & I were dating & we went to a friend’s Halloween Party as the opposite sexes. Shortly after we got married, I played a trick on her, one morning, as we were getting ready for work. She had her clothes laid out for the day. While she was showering, I put her bra on under my shirt. She couldn’t figure out where she had put it. I wanted to see how long it would take her to find it. Again, it felt good.

The following year, I admitted to her that I enjoyed it & asked her if she’d mind. She said OK. I didn’t do it often, but I got a little carried away, one weekend, and pierced my own ears. No one said anything about it at work, but I’m sure the holes were noticable. Then, we threw our own Halloween party. You guessed it. She was a guy. I was a French maid.

Our oldest kids are girls. I still “dressed up”, occasionally, when they were young, but when the boys came along, I stopped & purged what little clothing I had.

Once the boys grew up & moved out, I found myself wearing some of my wife’s clothes. In fact, over the years, although she rarely lets me wear lingerie to bed, our foreplay involves her doing things to me that would normally be done to a woman. No, she’s not gay either, although I have daydreamed about what it would be like to have lesbian sex with her. That said, crossdressing doesn’t seem to sexually stimulate me like it once did. Instead, it gives me more of a feeling of joy & satisfaction– like this feels right & it’s who I should be.

I’m really opening up, here, and it is quite liberating to do so. Thank goodness that I found Crossdresser Heaven. I never wanted to apply the term, “crossdresser” to myself. I was very apprehensive about joining CDH, initially, and have remained guarded about posting, but the more time I spend as Dawn, the more confident I become. I’m enjoying the replies I’m getting from my “sisters”. There’s acceptance here. I no longer feel like a “freak”. It’s amazing how many others have the same issue that I do. Three years ago, I would have never thought that I could be this open about “my little secret”.

I started doing some online shopping & expanded my wardrobe. I’m a 14, but I’m hoping to get down to a 12. I have a little roll I need to get rid of. I’d also like to get a little plastic surgery. I’ve also considered electrolysis & some herbs to slightly enhance my breasts (I don’t have much in that area). Any suggestions, I’m all ears. Also, after many years, playing sports, my legs are kind of beat up. I’d like to wear shorts or a casual skirt without hose. Any ideas about how to shape them up?

Last Halloween (Ain’t that a wonderful holiday?), I attended two different parties– one in just a flowered dress (a guy tried to pick me up) & the other as a St. Pauli Girl. Since last year, I’ve gotten involved with a couple of different crossdressing groups which has allowed me to come out of the closet a bit. My schedule hasn’t allowed me to attend very many meetings, but when I can, it has helped me find who I am & to admit to myself that I am a crossdresser. Does that make me transgendered? I’m not sure. Being honest with myself, I'd love to see what it feels like to become a real woman, but my wife says she would leave me if I did. I couldn’t do that to her. She didn’t “sign up for this”. She’s the best thing that ever happened to me.

I find that I’m spending more time as Dawn, but I have to be careful not to upset my wife. We had a pretty deep conversation, yesterday. She let me buy a new wig, on Friday, and she bought me a pair of capris, a skirt & two pairs of earrings, yesterday. She’s accepting that Dawn is a part of our lives; that I need Dawn. My wife even says that, as Dawn, I seem to be more productive around the house and assist her with “womanly” chores, but she’s worried that maybe she shouldn’t be encouraging me.

Maybe she’s right. When I look in the mirror at my male self, I'm not happy with that old man looking back at me. But, as Dawn, I’m very happy with the way I’m looking (In fact, because she doesn’t like me coming to bed, as Dawn, I have to take it all off- but that's getting harder to do). My make-up skills are improving. My wife now says that she thinks I could “pass” in public (I have to work on the voice, though) not only as a woman, but as a woman 20 years yonger than my true age. I look & feel younger when I’m Dawn. When I exercise, for some reason, I feel stronger & more energetic as Dawn. Many people, who have seen pictures of Dawn or seen her at one of those Halloween parties, say that I look better as a woman than I do as a man. I have to agree. We may be planning a “Girls Day Out”, soon, going shopping, having lunch & getting manicures & pedicures.

Sometimes, I get frustrated with my job & other things in my life, but I find crossdressing therapeutic. Put me in a dress and it completely lightens my mood. My depression used to be worse & sometimes incapacitating. Looking back, perhaps subconsciously, I was down because I couldn’t be a woman or, at least, look like one.

Is this what’s missing in my life? I’m worried that if I am even considering transitioning, I'd better do it soon or it'll be too late. I don't want to live my whole life, not realizing my dream & being who I think I was meant to be. How sad would that be? I think my wife realizes that & that’s why she’s reluctantly giving me the “green light”– so I can enjoy the next best thing to being a woman while I can.

Life’s short. Be gorgeous!

Dawnie Saxton

I'm nearly 70 years old, Been gender Identity conflicted since age three. I have recently started living fulltime as a woman as much as possible (about 90% feminine/ 10% male now).
I used to be a regular in Transchat.Sister. org site for about 14 years. I would like to hear from my old friends, and am not interested in meeting men or contacts for sex.

Ellie Davis

Hi, I'm Ellie.

I'm an artist, illustrator and author from the UK, with a day job as a teacher. I always wonder what else I should put into a potted biography; I guess, because of where we are, you also need to know that I'm transgender. There are a lot of bewildering labels out there, but the best fit for me is probably 'transfeminine'.

I'm also a founder member of the official Crossdresser Heaven Seductive Boffinhood 🙂

I dress full time at home. I haven't considered this to be cross dressing for many years now. To me, these are just my normal clothes.

I love to chat on the Forums about anything and everything, and probably spend way too much time there. I'm very glad I found Crossdresser Heaven. It's wonderful to be somewhere where everyone accepts me for who I am.

Gina Angelo

Freshly minted CD, but now realize I am better described as a Two Spirit. Finally free to be me and find my inner peace. A professional with two personalities and sexualities

Jackie

It's safe to say that my life & lifestyle" were chosen for me before I even knew the plan! My belief has always been that I / we didn't choose our lifestyle but that we were born this way. I guess there are many who don't see it this way and make many attempts to fight or change our fate. I however did listen to it and began to follow directions at a early age. For me as with so many other Cross Dressing, Drag and LGBTQ+ lifestyle began around 8 years old. Well LGBTQ+ followed soon after. My sexuality was confirmed at 15 after having my first encounter. It couldn't have been more apparent. Answers to my own questions I carried with me for some time were answered that day. My coming out debut was like a huge weight lifted from me immediately when I stood before my mother and sister's and confessed everything. All of they're suspicions were brought to life. Getting into all my sister's things, wearing they're clothes, makeup and everything else they owned I admitted to. I had always thought I was so sneaky and left no evidence. But I hadn't been. They knew all along. There was so much evidence. There were so many times and situations throughout a long course of time had added up and grown in such big numbers it had to have been impossible to keep track. For example all my posessions in my bedroom like makeup, nail polishes, hair tools, my clothing, shoe, boots, pictures and posters on my walls, etc. If anyone who had walked into my room didn't or couldn't recognize that "there was something different about Jackie" they would have been stupid and or very nieve. I always came up with an excuse as to why anyone seen what there was to see in every corner nook and cranny of my room. I did eventually begin to wonder how they really thought. I I had been put on front street and drilled with questions practically on a daily basis. I had slowly become too relaxed and stopped trying to keep everything hidden. Beside the fact that everything had become too impossible to hide. So confessing to all of what seemed at the moment to be so long actually only took minutes to admit it all to be true. Thats as short of my story I can put down to you. I have only a few regrets of mistakes I have made overtime but who I am is not one of them. Enjoy, have fun and be yourself and if you can't do that right now then pretend until you can!

Leonara

I dress enfemme when the opportunity presents itself. I dress conservatively. Always trying to be the lady. My profile picture represents my latestmakeover feeling more feminine each day.

Lucy Bancroft

I’ve been dressing on and off since early teens, so over 40 years. Much more off than on, but that’s changed a lot in the last couple of years.
Now a regular dresser, but in the closet at home, and want to keep it that way.

Marianne

Wishing I was born a girl from five or six years old, I started wearing my mother's old skirts and dresses in secret around twelve. After 37 years of dressing in the closet I first went out presenting fully female in the fall of 2014, two years after being diagnosed with Parkinson's disease.

MelanieElizabeth

Fairly average straight married guy with a “hobby” most people not part of this community would think was strange. Had the urge to dress since early childhood, things have evolved as I’ve learned more about myself. I’m all or nothing when it comes to dressing, if you know what I mean. Being a member here has really been instrumental coming to that realization, which I thank everyone I’ve come in contact with on cdh. Im a full time father and husband who happens to enjoy feeling pretty on a part time basis.

Melodee

Seductive Boffin and 'World's Okayest Crossdresser'

I started out as a in-house lingerie wearer, and I truly enjoyed that. It was fun and made me feel sexy...but last year I dipped my toe in the water and tried a wig...and then makeup...and then a compliment from a friend had me pondering if I could do this. Eventually I said 'well @%$# it' and decided to venture out. That first time was to Pride back in June '22.

It felt great! Exciting, liberating, fun...but it took me 6 more months to do it again. In Dec '22 I finally found a local(ish) group of people to do things with and started getting out socially more and more often. Meeting new people, trying new things, and enjoying this part of me - that's what life is all about, isn't it?

So now, going out is just a regular part of who I am. I've got a closet full of proper clothes (ones that won't get me arrested for indecent exposure - though I have those, too) and jewelry, and makeup.

I'm quite chatty and like learning about others! Feel free to say hi! 🙂

Oh, and I'm 53.

"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us." - Gandalf

Michelle Liefde

When I was young , I loved Deborah Harry. I thought it was just a crush, but realized not only did I find her attractive but what she would wear. When I was 11, I first tried on a dress, pantyhose and bra. I had waited for my family to go out and finally decided to try. We had a storage area in our garage where my mom had some of her old clothes. I would go out there a much as I could. Eventually, I was found out. I buried this part of myself for over 30 years. I spent that time being happy, sad and repressed. Then about 7 years ago, I finally admitted to myself that I wanted to try again. After a little time, I told my wife and luckily she has been growing with me as I figure learn more about Michelle. After the last few years of trying to figure it out, It turns out that I am trans and have decided to transition. I still working out what that means and looks like.

Prudence

My progression of who I am is changing. My first time on CDH I chose Robyn. An extension of my male name. So I stayed with that name this time. But my male side would suppress her. Push her back inside and keep her hidden. I believe Prudence will help me further my journey to who I really am. I look forward to new discoveries and experiences with my Friends here at CDH.

Robin Kliment

I really don't know where I'm going with this all, but certainly do know HOW I'm getting there. We all have to choose a place to sit and I guess I've chosen "gender-fluid". There are things in both genders that have GREAT value to me and I intend to enjoy them all to their maximum potential. My wife lost her battle with lung cancer so I guess I'm not hurting anyone anymore. I am 5'8 in flats, 36-30-35, and a size 8 dress. I do not engage in sex outside of a long-term committed relationship.

I am currently on a quest of self-acceptance and discovery. Kansas City-Denver-Omaha I visit all and live in none.(I travel a LOT for my work) I'm not looking for a relationship but I do miss companionship. This all is VERY real for me, so please don't waste my time with anything else.
NOTE---do NOT buy wigs from Paula Young, they're NOT discreet

Samantha G.....

Hails from Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. I've been crossdressing since age 12 with off and on activity till age 27 when I first fully dressed. After that I knew it was going to be a lifelong obsession. Try to dress several times a month but sometimes life gets in the way. No worries though, my sense of humor gets me through just about anything. Have the box set of all the Monty Python episodes too. 🙂

skippy1965 Cynthia

The Original Cyn, or OC for short. Cynthia is from Richmond Virginia, she crossdresses every day (lucky gal!) and has a knack for tracking down niggling technical issues so we can fix them.
She is also on a journey of self-examination to figure out where her feminine journey will lead her, and is always willing to talk with others about their feelings and questions or her own.
Update January 2023- the above was written by Vanessa on my behalf back when I joined in 2015. So much has happened on my journey since then. From a shy CD who had hardly been outside as herself to being pretty much full time Cyn 24/7 now. I told work about me and started HRT last year. Everyone knows about me in my life now too. I've socially transitioned for the most part but not sure if I will do anything regarding legal name or any surgeries at all. It's taken mea long time to accept myself for who I am but the site has helped me reach that level of self-awareness. I say dating below but that's just the best status I can say. I have a friend who is very special to me that I HOPE will be more a life companion as time goes forward.

Stephanie Flowers

retired and am happily married over 40 years to a wonderful woman who opened up to this side of me. For many years I felt these feelings but family and every day life always came not allowing me to express the passons inside me. By years end i made great strides and now 2 plus years later I finally have reached in fully dressing but still learning the finer qualities as in makeup, fashions styles and bettering my appearance. As my confidence started to improve many experience's have happened. Allowing me more to express my femininity. happy to find cdheaven and to understand all that is happening and now I am truly enjoying my journey and I'm looking forward what's ahead . Thank you.

Terri Anne

My name is Terri Anne.
I started crossdressing as a teen. My very first time was a stretchy sheath dress. I will never forget how comfortable it was. It just felt right!

Vanessa Friends

Hello,I am 55 straight male married 19 years. I consider myself gender fluid. Go out in public fully female and are excepted everywhere. Even flew fem before .Love being male and love being female.